Kalli Stark

"She is but… well… she’s not making us over, our prep team is. Still, I’d prefer not to have to deal with her. I don’t want to be a bother to anyone who thinks I’m not up to their physical standards," I said flatly. 

I stood up and moved away from the table, still a little annoyed by the few jabs she’d been able to get at me today. 

"I’m sure, being the daughter of Anthony Stark, you’re used to pretty things and beautiful people. So don’t worry, maybe my prep team will be able to make me over so that I’m in your league. Probably not though," I added. 

Normally I wasn’t like this, but I’d also never been insulted before. And with the rejection from Blaise fresh on my mind, I was feeling a little self conscious. If I wasn’t what the Capitol wanted to look at, it wouldn’t matter how smart I was. 

Still, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the way Kalli hurled insults at Vespasia. I bit my lip and stayed silent as her jaw dropped. She slammed her palms on the table and inched her way out of her seat. Her face was beet red and I could nearly see steam shooting out of her ears like a tea kettle. Her hand twitched and I could tell that she was considering something that might get her into trouble. 

Instead, she pushed her seat back, straightened up, and huffed away. Once she reached the door, she turned back and glared at the both of us.

"Fine, go ahead and see what happens to you without me. Do you think I give two flying fucks if you two imbeciles die in that arena?" 

The door slammed shut and this time Tesla’s jaw was the one that dropped. “Well that was inappropriate. All three of you. I have to go tend to her,” Tesla sighed. I got the idea that she’d rather not. 

She stood up slowly, dropped her napkin on her plate and looked at us both, hands on her hips. “Don’t worry about cleaning up, the avoxes will do so. Down this hallway are your chambers. We’ll be arriving first thing in the morning, so get some rest. And behave yourselves, would you?”

I appreciated Tesla’s response to my question more than I think she realized. It was exactly what I was hoping to hear. It was a game that I’d already been playing for years, and with Kalli. I felt confident that I could continue on in this manner. With her helping guide us, I knew that I would be able to put myself in a position that might win me a sponsor or even the crown. In some ways, I wanted to still be me, but in others I wanted the old me back, or a new me. I wanted to be able to trust others again and not keep to myself. I wanted to be able to share with people all of me, not just half of it. 

"What do you think our chances are?" I asked, now spooning around my melted ice cream. 

"It’s hard to tell, I’ve only just met you two. I know the very basics about you. This will be a question that I’ll be able to answer much better in a couple days. Ask me again later," she replied. 

She sat back in her chair and fluffed her hair a little. Vespasia had been silent this entire meal, as I assume it was her duty to let Tesla take the reigns. Finally, she broke her silence. 

"Well you two seem just… well, you need some work, in my opinion. You’ll be meeting with your stylists tomorrow and we can take care of the physical. But I fully plan on helping you become a little more…" she paused, tapping her brightly colored nail against her chin. "Charismatic." 

"I’ll ask if it’d make you feel better," I offered as I stood up to refill my glass. 

I tried to think of the things I knew about our new mentor. Tesla did, in fact, have a family now. I believe, if I recalled correctly, a daughter or two. And a husband, but I forget his name. She was as close as Five had to a celebrity, of course we didn’t treat her like she was some kind of hero. Everyone in the district knew she’d been through a lot, more than most of us could fathom. She preferred to be left alone, just as I assume any victor would. 

"I’m sure you’re right, Kalli," I said as I walked towards her, offering her a refill. 

There was no worse thing to do after managing to survive something like the Hunger Games than to have to return to it each year and mentor kids, grow close to them, and send them off to their death. I wouldn’t blame her if she needed space. Maybe we wouldn’t even see her until we reached the Capitol. 

Soon enough, however, we were joined by Vespasia and Tesla. Dinner was served shortly thereafter and neither Kalli nor I felt much like probing her over her meal. Still, she seemed nice and even so, didn’t mind probing us. By the time we hit dessert, our mentor and escort knew as much as our life stories as we were willing to share. 

"I’ve asked a lot of questions," she said as she scooped into the ice cream that accompanied her pumpkin pie. "Don’t you two have any for me?" 

We spoke very little, Tesla asking questions that seemed stupid enough as she nodded and hummed along. She got what she wanted from us and it was nice not to reveal too much about myself to the woman who was going to get us through the arena. There was a lull in conversation over dessert, I was pushing around the sugary concoction on my plate when Tesla asked us if we had any questions. My head snapped up to meet Arc's gaze as he smiled and launched into the question we'd been wondering about not too long ago. I dragged my attention from him to our mentor, and the way she held her spoon halfway to her lips. I think she had been expecting us to tip toe around the issue but she nodded as she abandoned her meal to speak. "You have to stay true to who you are, you can pretend to be anything you want to fulfill their image of what you should be. Your stylist will help with that, we will coach you and tell you how much of yourself to reveal and what to keep private. This is a game, above all else you need to learn to play along. It's the tributes who pretend to be something else that can win; pretend to be some weak little thing when you really know six different ways to gut a man before they can blink."

"I’m not sure, but I suppose you can always ask her once we finally meet her… whenever that may be," I commented, wondering exactly when that would be happening. "I’m sure that’s a valid question that every kid she’s mentored has asked." 

It was a legitimate question, one that we had the right to ask because her advice would be invaluable to us and potentially aid in our survival. If she was a good mentor, she would share whatever information she could with us in order to get one of us home. Of course, it hasn’t happened since she won, so I hoped she wasn’t discouraged. As much as Kalli thought I was in control over here, I knew I needed Tesla. We both did. 

I let out a chuckle at Kalli’s joke. It meant that she was easing up, relaxing just a little. And I was beginning to feel badly about the act I was putting on. 

"See you’ve got some good ideas of your own there," I said with a smile. I was, in fact, easing up too. I found Kalli relateable, warm, and real. I didn’t think she was hiding, not much anyways, not as much as I was. I began to think about letting her in a little, but I knew that it was unwise. I didn’t want to get attached. That would compromise my plans to return home. 

I didn’t want to think about arriving in the Capitol. I didn’t want to be met by the masses, crowds of new fans screaming and vying for our attention, no matter who we were. It never mattered at first, that’s how Caesar made it seem anyway. It was all very exciting for any tribute to arrive in the Capitol. A new year, new contestants to drool over and bet on. 

I started chewing on some ice out of nervousness, something that I sometimes did subconsciously. I took her compliment with a smile and a nod, choosing not to comment. Not until she asked me a question I couldn’t ignore.

How did anyone get through this without losing who they were? You had to make friends, forge alliances and then sit back and fight to the death. You had to kill people you had relied on and try not to mourn friends who perished along the way. I hated that we all needed to hide behind a shroud, pretend we weren't quaking in our boots as we faced really shitty odds to get home. 

"Well then don’t do it for daddy dearest, do it for you. Do all of this for you. That is, I guess, if you do want to win," I said. "Which, you should but maybe you don’t."

I added in the last part because, if I was honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. I’m sure once the initial shame of my failed romantic send off to Blaise wore off that I would want to go home. For me, for my father, and even for Blaise. I couldn’t just stop loving him despite the fact that he clearly didn’t reciprocate the feelings. Or maybe he was just confused. Maybe he would realize how he felt and my survival would make a difference to him. Maybe. 

I shrugged, trying to maintain my charade. “I am equipped enough for a kid from Five but there are many struggles ahead of us. I don’t believe cockiness will get me very far. But my father wanted me to stay positive, so I’m going to try. I’m smart, I’ll figure out exactly what I have to do in order to increase my chances of going home.” 

I didn't have time to poke at him long, he changed the subject as quickly as flicking on a light switch. Giving me a quick glimpse into what I could expect from him. "I think out of the two of us you have the better outlook on this shit. They'll probably throw money at you as soon as you step off the train...." I let my sentence trail off, sighing as the reality of what we were about to go through settled on my shoulders. I was so damn nervous of making a fool out of myself, of failing in my promise to come home to Derek. 

"Hardly? I think so, Kalli," I shook my head. "At the very least a household name in Five. I wouldn’t see it as a bad thing, but then again I don’t know anything about your home life and I won’t make assumptions. But I will say that since he’s a powerful man in the District, it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to be well known in the Capitol, at least to certain people. It could be to your advantage, you know." 

I got the feeling that her family was a topic that she’d rather be left unexplored by me, which, if I had to be honest, I was alright with letting sleeping dogs lie. If I pried, she was bound to do the same and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about myself. 

I poured her a glass of lemon water, my arm trembling a little as I lifted the pitcher. I realized that deep down I was incredibly terrified of the future that lay before us. But if she was buying my act, then it meant I was convincing. It was only a matter of time before I might convince myself of it. 

I handed her a glass before taking my seat back. I watched her over the rim of my own glass as I swallowed down a much needed drink of water. 

He had a lot of pull with some very influential friends but I wouldn't know if he had called them in on any favours until I ended up in the Capitol. But who knows, they might see me as a shitty bet. I offered Arc a smile as he passed me a glass. I nursed the cool liquid in my hand, tracing the droplets of condensation with a finger. His question startled me, I didn't want to answer but as I lifted the glass to my lips and downed half of it's contents I couldn't even stop from admitting how scared I was. 

"Nah, I don’t think that. It could be a secret weapon for all I know. Asphyxiation by vomit. No one’s ever won that way before," I joked. "We can play it all to our strengths. I’m not really interested in what they think of who we really are, they don’t want to know the real us anyway. They want to know the warriors within us. The survivors." 

I didn’t know this morning that I would be so willing to play their game. I didn’t know I’d be so willing to follow their rules. Even stepping onto this train, I wished for us to crash before we made it to the Capitol and now I was talking about strategy, surviving. It was all part of who she was supposed to think I was. A contender. 

"Well, shit. I’m sitting here with District Five royalty. It’s nice to meet you Kalli," I finally said. I had enough respect for her father to know that I should have some for her. He was a brilliant man and if the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, she might actually be an asset. "I’m Arc, by the way. Arc Solaris. I’m sure you heard her announce my name back there, but a figure a proper introduction was in order."

I stood up, finally thirsty and wishing to quench it. I rounded the table where platters of food were spread out, mostly tarts and small cakes. I sneered a little at the smorgasbord and wondered if they were trying to fatten us up. Half of the things on the table were delicacies that I’d never seen before. Finally, I found a bottle of champagne on ice, a pitcher of water, and tall thin vials of colored liquids. I wasn’t entirely sure they were consumable, as I’d never swallowed anything bright green before. 

Quirking an eyebrow at his tone I found myself shaking my head vehemently. He'd obviously heard enough about my father to know what we were made of but what he didn't know was that I wanted to distance myself from that image. Although as I sat here I wondered if I shouldn't use Anthony's reputation as a shroud. Protect myself from the outside world and redeeming myself in my father's eyes. "Royalty? Hardly." 

"Well if you’re going to make it a habit just remind me to stand behind you. I doubt Vespasia will be standing anywhere near you from now on," I added. "Which is probably a good thing." 

I could tell that she was trying to let it slide, but deep down she was disappointed in herself. Hell, even I was, in myself at least. No other district had probably made such a ridiculous shit show as we had just done. 

"On the bright side, maybe we’ll earn some attention in the way of sponsors? I hear that’s best way to aid in survival in the arena, by securing a sponsor," I said, trying to find the silver lining. 

Her comment about the knock offs hadn’t gone unnoticed by me. I was no expert on Capitol fashion but she seemed like she was. As I scanned her expression, I realized that her last name was extremely familiar. 

"I think we are practically the talk of the Capitol. The vomiter and the tripper." I rolled my eyes at the nicknames and prayed they wouldn't stick. We were definitely going to be remembered but I doubted it was going to be for our good looks and charming personalities. "Our Prep team will probably be shitting themselves that they got stuck with us."

Shit. I didn't even know how I was going to cope with public appearances in the Capitol. I knew I was supposed to pretend this whole thing didn't faze me but there was a pretty good chance I was going to be hunched over the nearest bush expelling the contents of my stomach for the entire world to see.

"No, not generally," I retorted. "Just not used to the open expulsion of one’s breakfast so close to me." 

I looked at her for the first time, actually seeing her. She was actually beautiful, despite my first impressions of her. Her long bone straight brunette hair framed her face, her lips were pursed as she looked me over, probably sizing me up in the same way that I was her. 

"It's fine, don't worry. I'm sure you aren't the only person talking about how much of a disgrace I am. I'm probably the only tribute in the history of this insanity that was so unnerved she wrecked her Escort's shoes." I could hear my father's voice in my head. Failure, disappointment, laughing stock. It was all about image for him and here I was tarnishing his reputation just by drawing breath. He must be fuming right now and I hoped that Derek would be able to steer clear of his stupidity until it all blew over. Anthony would forgive me eventually, especially if I died in the process. He could probably sell it to his backers so they would hand over even more money to fund an expedition somewhere.

I stepped onto the train with a heavy heart hidden behind armor that kept my standing up straight. Without it, without pushing it down, I would likely crumble onto the expensive rug that cushioned my feet. 

Kalli was behind me, shoved onto the train by Vespasia at the exact moment that I was. But with all the thoughts that were swirling through my mind, I was glad to have some sort of distraction, even if it was in the form of discussing how to avoid my imminent death. 

I fell back into an overstuffed chair, ignoring all the trays of food and expensive decor that surrounded me. Vespasia blurted out something and dismissed herself, I wasn’t sure to where because I wasn’t listening to her. I looked up at Kalli and decided that I better strike up a conversation if I had any hopes of forgetting the rejection that was plaguing me. Because all I really wanted, now that the train was speeding towards the Capitol, was for it to crash before we got there. I wasn’t interested in going home, not at this moment anyway, and the Capitol was less than appealing.