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Hôm nay vô tình em thấy bài “Close door” của anh trên drive nên em viết cho anh những dòng này. Giống như anh đã từng viết “people should look at a new door instead of spending too much time for the closed door”.

Ngày biết tin anh sống ở một đất nước khác, em rất mừng cho anh. Nhưng em lại buồn cho mình, vì mối quan hệ này không thể nào có kỳ tích được nữa. Quên anh em chọn cách làm việc thật bận rộn và cố gắng mở lòng. Vậy là bây giờ, ở cái tuổi không còn trẻ nữa, em vẫn đang loay hoay học cách chấp nhận và bước tiếp. Dù khó khăn nhưng em tin em sẽ làm được thôi mà...

Dũng à, hy vọng anh luôn thành công trong sự nghiệp, hạnh phúc trong cuộc sống và an nhiên trong tinh thần. Hy vọng người anh yêu và cưới là một cô gái ngoan hiền, dịu dàng và yêu anh thật nhiều.

Hy vọng em có thể buông bỏ anh và đoạn tình cảm này để về sau dù cho có chuyện gì em cũng không tìm anh nữa.

Nếu có duyên phận lần nữa, hy vọng bọn mình sẽ gặp lại nhau trong một cuộc đời khác, một kiếp khác, một vũ trụ nào đó. Em hy vọng là vậy. Hy vọng anh vẫn còn muốn như thế.

TP.HCM, ngày 26 tháng 9 năm 2020

“When you’re late a lot, you learn how to make up for lost time.”

“I’m scared that I will never do anything of value with my life.”

“It’s very easy to rationalize what you’re doing when you don’t know the faces and the names of the people you might hurt. It’s very easy to choose yourself over someone else when it’s an abstract.”

“He still, all these years later, shines brighter to me than other people. Even after I got over him, I was never able to extinguish the fire completely, as if it’s a pilot light that will remain small and controlled but very much alive.”

“Life is long and full of an infinite number of decisions. I have to think that the small ones don’t matter, that I’ll end up where I need to end up no matter what I do. My fate will find me.”

“I remember what it feels like to truly love someone. For the right reasons. In the right way.”

“It is the teenage feelings that are the most intoxicating, the ones that have the power to render you helpless.”

“I did. I loved you so much it sometimes burned in my chest.”

“From experience, I can tell you that if you go around trying to figure out what’s fair in life or whether you deserve something or not, that’s a rabbit hole that is hard to climb out of.”

“It seems so simple, written out in order. For a moment, as I look at it, I think, Is that all? And then I realize that simple and easy aren’t the same thing.”

“But I suppose just because something is hard to understand, that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“the more I remember, the more it grabs hold.”

“I know that he’s telling the truth. But the fact of the matter is that I worry that I’ll believe him too much, that I’ll become too easily swayed into believing what I want to believe about him. I don’t want to do what I would have done before. I don’t want to believe what a person says and ignore what he does. I don’t want to see only what I want to see.”

“Sometimes I don’t realize how weighed down I am by my own worries until they are gone”

“But I’m trying to make new decisions so that they lead me to better places.”

“I may have gotten a bit infatuated with the idea that he and I have something romantic left between us, but I can see now that we don’t. I will probably always love him on some level, always hold a spot for him in my heart. But dating again, being together, that would be moving backward, wouldn’t it?”

“We can’t say what we would do in other circumstances. We can only know what we will do with the ones we face.”

“That’s your problem. You’re trying too hard to find the perfect answer when an answer will do.”

“You don’t need to find the perfect thing all the time. Just find one that works, and go with it”

“Because that is truly all I want in this world. I want to try to do something myself, knowing that when I have nothing left, someone will take me the rest of the way.

He turns me around to face the right direction, and he stands behind me. “Go for it,” he says. “I got you.”

“And part of loving someone, part of being the recipient of trust, is telling the truth even when it’s awful.”

“If there is only one person for everyone, what happens when soul mates can’t make it work?”

“If you can’t make it work, you aren’t soul mates,” she tells me.”

“I don’t know, I’m starting to think maybe you just pick a place and stay there. You pick a career and do it. You pick a person and commit to him.”

“I think as long as you’re happy and you’re doing something good with your life, it really doesn’t matter whether you went out and found the perfect thing or you chose what you knew you could make work for you.”

“But sometimes you can’t help but show the things you feel. Sometimes, despite how hard you try to fight your feelings, they show up in the glassiness of your eyes, the downward turn of your lips, the shakiness of your voice, and the lump in your throat. “We’re friends,” I say.”

“I suppose it would follow that if you and I come to a place we can’t get past, then we aren’t meant to be. Right? Then we aren’t right for each other. I mean, I think I have to believe that life will work out the way it needs to. If everything that happens in the world is just a result of chance and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, that’s just too chaotic for me to handle. I’d have to go around questioning every decision I’ve ever made, every decision I will ever make. If our fate is determined with every step we take . . . it’s too exhausting. I’d prefer to believe that things happen as they are meant to happen.”

“But I wonder how different my world would be if any of those things had happened. You can’t change just one part, can you? When you sit there and wish things had happened differently, you can’t just wish away the bad stuff. You have to think about all the good stuff you might lose, too. Better just to stay in the now and focus on what you can do better in the future.”

“Well, you never know what you’re ready for until you have to face it,”

“I don’t think meeting the love of your life gives you carte blanche to ruin everything in your path. There are a lot of people out there who find the person they believe they are supposed to be with, and it doesn’t work out because they have other things they have to do, and instead of being a liar and running from their responsibilities, they act like adults and do the right thing.”

“It doesn’t matter if we don’t mean to do the things we do. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or a mistake. It doesn’t even matter if we think this is all up to fate. Because regardless of our destiny, we still have to answer for our actions. We make choices, big and small, every day of our lives, and those choices have consequences.

We have to face those consequences head-on, for better or worse. We don’t get to erase them just by saying we didn’t mean to. Fate or not, our lives are still the results of our choices. I’m starting to think that when we don’t own them, we don’t own ourselves.”

“That love makes you do crazy things, that sometimes you have to do things that seem wrong from the outside but you know are right”

“You can only forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past once you know you’ll never make them again.”

“And I’m learning not to read too much into good things. I’m learning just to appreciate the good while you have it in your sights. Not to worry so much about what it all means and what will happen next.”

“I’m just going to do my best and live under the assumption that if there are things in this life that we are supposed to do, if there are people in this world we are supposed to love, we’ll find them. In time. The future is so incredibly unpredictable that trying to plan for it is like studying for a test you’ll never take.”

“That’s what you do when you want something. You don’t look for reasons why it won’t work. You look for reasons why it will.”

“Timing seems like an excuse. Extenuating circumstances is an excuse. If you love someone, if you think you could make them happy for the rest of your life together, then nothing should stop you. You should be prepared to take them as they are and deal with the consequences. Relationships aren’t neat and clean. They’re ugly and messy, and they make almost no sense except to the two people in them. That’s what I think. I think if you truly love someone, you accept the circumstances; you don’t hide behind them.”

“As a man who has been trying to run into you for months, let me assure you how rare it is that two specific people’s paths will cross.”