Seeing DD today for what feels like the last time. There's no feelings of excitement, but more like bitter-sweet. Like I want this to happen and get it over with. Like we both know this must end. And it must end now. Why now, you ask? Well to put it in the simplest of terms, why not now? The bet was won (the imaginary one, there was never a real bet as far as I'm concerned, but sometimes things seem too good to be true). We both got what we wanted, love and affection, but I think now we are both questioning my character. Is he truly attracted to someone who is willing to cross their husband in such manner? I, too, have felt that I need to focus on what's important. My character is very much in question, and; How many times will I catch myself saying, "I'm not usually like this" until that becomes a lie as well? My behavior has become a pattern of sorts and while it's true that I hate to be unpredictable, it's time I pay attention to the things that truly matter. My house, my children, my husband, my, my, my, me, me, me. But that's who this is about, no? Me, myself, and yes, I.

The life is mine. The decisions are mine. The actions, the betrayals, the lies, deceit, deception, disappointments, all of it we can make this a post a thesaurus for the "bad wife guide".