#maya journal

The ghoul mayor was slumped over the bar with a small glass of... something in front of him.

He stretched and took a deep drag of the smoldering cigarette that hung lazily in his left hand and scratched the back of his neck with the right as he exhaled. Once the cloud of smoke dissipated from his vision, he spotted the sight that made him question if he’d hit the chems too hard tonight after all.

At the other end of the bar, not even ten feet away, the pre-war girl was standing deep in thought, the same one who had ran out of Goodneighbor on Christmas Eve and hadn’t been sighted in the area since. Like the ghost of Christmas past or some shit, and Hancock wasn’t entirely convinced their encounter hadn’t been one big jet trip.

She hadn’t noticed him yet and Hancock had to fight back a devilish grin. Edging closer, he took another hit of the cigarette and smoke curled from the hole where his nose should have been.

“Well look who it is,” he smirked, calling over to the woman and startling her slightly with the address. “Long time no see.” He gestured to the entirety of the bar.

It took her a few seconds to realise he was even talking to her until she locked his obsidian gaze. With the reserve and hesitation dissolving the longer he looked at her, Maya strolled over to the ghoul and took a stool next to him at the bar.

“Vodka and Quantum, Charlie. Make it a double,” She placed her caps neatly on the table and slid them over to the robot barkeep.

“Comin’ right up, love.”

With a glance out of the corner of her eye, it was clear that Hancock had not stopped staring at her, daring her to make contact with an almost predatory gaze.

"It’s been a while. Hancock, right?" As if she could ever forget his name.

She smirked back, granting him a momentary glance as she pulled out a cigarette of her own.

It was harder to play it cool and aloof when her insides were doing somersaults.

"Does the Mayor usually spend his nights drunk in the local bar?"

He snorted and proceeded to take the final mouthful of his drink before signalling Charlie for another. “That’s just the way things are around here, sister."

"Good." Maya replied and downed her fresh drink in one. “Are you buying the next round?" Maya raised a brow and rummaged in her bag for a familiar red inhaler.

”Sure thing, sister. You look like you need it.” Hancock whistled to get Charlie’s attention and threw up two fingers with a tilt of his head to Maya. 

The little vault dweller could knock the fumes back better than most of the addicts who found their way to his little slice of chaos and he couldn’t help but be impressed. But other than her enthusiasm to get high, one thing stuck out more to him - She was alone tonight. No Railroad, no Valentine, no Piper, no MacCready. Just her and that devil may care attitude of hers.

As Charlie placed the tumblers in front of their respective patrons, Hancock stuck his cigarette in his mouth and held it between his teeth while he fished a hand into his pocket for his caps. He withdrew a full fist and tossed them onto the bar before pulling the glass towards him, still watching the girl curiously. 

“Thank you." Maya mumbled and granted him another quick glance. When she noticed the puzzled expression on his face she found the corners of her lips curl upwards in a smile. His black eyes went so wide when he was curious and it made his usually intimidating face soften considerably. She’d always found him incredibly handsome, even if she didn’t understand it, but right now he actually looked cute. Maya took another hit and bit her lip to stop herself laughing.

“Something funny, sister?” He pressed, pulling out his own inhaler from his breast pocket and mimicking her motions.

The vapour poured from her nostrils and clouded her face for a few moments and time distorted around her as the jet took hold. Thirty seconds felt like hours as her head swam through the never ending cloud of vapour, so thick she could get lost in it.

 "Easy there, sunshine."

His raspy voice was so distorted it was barely intelligible, but the pressure on her back and arm cut through the fog. Time pieced back together and Hancock was keeping her balanced on the stool.

With a stoned chuckle, he took the cigarette from his lips and placed it between her own so she could inhale.

“Thought we lost you there for a second. You pick that shit up from Fred over in the Rexford? I told him he needs to tone that recipe down. Latest batch is bordering on Rocket Fuel.”

Maya exhaled the smoke slowly and held on to the ghoul for support. After what felt like an eternity, the shifting surroundings finally settled and she could actually process what had happened. 

Fuck.

 Maya let go of his arm as if it were molten and almost fell off the chair again in her need to compose herself. “I-I’m sorry, I take jet every day and that has never...Well I don’t mean *every* day, but uh-” She fumbled and Hancock had to put a hand up to stop her while he laughed. 

“Not getting any judgement from me, sister. This ain’t our first trip, I know you can handle yourself.” He smirked and took another hit of his own inhaler.

Maya had to laugh at that. “I’m surprised you remember,” she chided, letting her violet eyes lock his own for the first time. “Almost as surprised as I am to see you alone here tonight. You don’t seem like the type to spend many nights alone.” Maya broke his gaze to take a sip of her drink.

The Third Rail was becoming more crowded as the night grew older; everyone looking to get lost in Magnolia's song.

“I’m not alone now, am I?” Hancock held up his fingers and offered her the cigarette again, edging noticeably closer to her with that signature killer smile. “And how could I ever forget a girl like you, sunshine?” 

Maya accepted the smoke with a seductive pucker of her lips, not breaking eye contact for the entirety of the prolonged drag. The game between them was unspoken but obvious. As the smoke trailed from her mouth, she leaned in close to his face until there was barely an inch between them. With a soft exhale, she expelled the last of the smoke and giggled playfully. “Smooth talker.” Maya tapped him on the bridge of his nose and pulled herself away in the same breath. With a big stretch, she picked up her glass once more and finished the contents.

“Thank you for the drink, Mister Mayor, but I’m afraid I have to cut this meeting short. I’ve got one hell of a trip tomorrow and since it turns out I can’t trust Fred Allen’s supply anymore - I need to go stock up at a better vendor before I head out.” She slipped off the stool and winked at him as she readied her bag.

“That so?” His grin merely widened at the challenge. “Well, it just so happens I got a whole stash of shit back at the Old State House. I can give you whatever you want, sister. See where the night takes us,” He raised a brow to test her reaction, each word raspy and mischievous. But he purposefully kept his distance, respecting the fact she’d created the space.

"Is that a roundabout way of asking me to come home with you tonight, Mayor Hancock?" Maya raised her own brow back and took a slow step towards him, her body language purposeful. She boldly plucked the cigarette from his hand, taking great care to make sure her fingers grazed across his own as she did so.

It was a stupid move and one that she knew she shouldn’t be making. She could blame the chems all that she wanted, but every moment she was in Hancock’s presence she found herself wanting to do so many stupid things.

With a deep drag she started to lean in again, to tease him. Only this time Hancock was determined to match her. With his hand now free, he used it to reach out and cup the back of her neck. It was an encouragement only, not pulling or forcing her in any way, but letting her know that he wanted her. He wasn’t about to let *that* be the thing in question. 

“Only if you want to, sunshine. Promise I won’t bite.” He paused with a wink and added, “Unless you ask nicely, of course.”

Maya bit her lip to stop herself laughing. The smoke billowed from her mouth into a reverse waterfall back up into her nostrils as the distance closed between them.

“What a tempting invitation... but I’m afraid I have a date with a super mutant in the Glowing Sea that I just can't miss."

As the smoke passed Maya’s lips and Hancock inhaled it, he nearly lost his damn mind. He'd wanted - no - *needed* this girl from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Yet it was like every time they met, she got further from his reach. He was so drunk on her that it took a while for her words to actually sunk in.

“Woah woah woah. Hold up.” Despite his head reeling and his grip on reality slipping as it usually was, he was sure he’d heard her correctly. “Did you just say you’re going to the Glowing Sea to find a Super Mutant?”

“That’s right. She looked around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation before wrapping her arms around Hancock’s neck and whispering in his ear. “He’s an old scientist who escaped the Institute, believe it or not. I found something and I need his help to make it work.” Maya pulled her head away from his ear with a grin, studying his face for the reaction she wanted. 

Hancock’s eyes narrowed as he tried to determine if she was joking. After a few seconds of processing, he hesitantly concluded that if he knew anything about *this* girl, then she more than likely wasn't. The signature grin on his face returned and the ghoul shook his head and placed his scarred hands at her hips.

“Hunting Super Mutant Institute Scientists in a toxic wasteland? You really are right out of the comic books aren’t you?” He pulled her closer and started to move them both to Magnolia’s music. “You planning on doing this mission alone or do you have company?”

“Alone was the plan. After the last time I’m not risking taking anyone else to that irradiated hellhole. Just need to find a way to stop the rads cooking me alive before I leave.” Maya sighed and rested her head against his chest.

Hancock chuckled and rested his own on top of hers. “It ain’t so bad out there if you’re immune to the rads like us ghouls. Some would argue we even get stronger.”

“So all ghouls are immune to radiation then? Really?”  

“Damn right we are. Glowing Sea is like a sweet little rejuvenation trip. Lots of fun stuff down there too since you smoothskins won’t go near it.” He thought for a moment. “It’s been a while since I’ve been, actually…”

Maya shook her head. He actually enjoyed it out there. It was the worst place on earth that she’d ever visited and she couldn’t comprehend how anyone could enjoy it out there even if they were immune to the radiation. 

“Well if you like it so much, maybe you’d like to accompany me?” She suggested and let her eyes play with him.

Hancock locked his hands around her back and pulled his body closer to hers. “Is that an invitation I’m hearing?” 

Maya smirked and dragged her fingers gently along the back of his neck. “I guess it is.”

The glowing particles showering them obstructed her vision further with each step. By the time she clambered to the top there was no sign of the woman shrouded in fog, but as Maya took in her surroundings and caught her breath, an even stranger sight greeted her at the centre of the great chasm.

“Knight! What on earth were you thinking?! You can’t just run off like that in a place like this! While in the middle of combat of all times!” Danse huffed as he caught up to her. Maya didn’t answer him. She was too concentrated on what lay below their feet.

In the midst of the irradiated core was a huge, metal shack surrounded by offensively illuminated orange liquid. Several smaller shacks were built into the terraces of the crater itself surrounding it.

An entire settlement had been built here in this toxicity - nothing like this existed before the war. But it wasn’t the settlement that had Maya transfixed. There wasn’t just the remains of a settlement down there - there were people there too. People without any form of armor or suit protecting them, walking around as if it were any other settlement in the Commonwealth. Maya couldn’t believe her eyes.

The Glowing sea had brought her and Danse to their knees within hours. Just minutes with a small tear in her Power Armor had almost finished her, yet these people were walking around as if the radiation didn’t even exist. Maya scanned the interface of her helmet for the atmospheric readings and it confirmed that she wasn’t crazy. Though she was hardly adept when it came to medicine and radiation, even she knew that the levels outside right now were too much for any human being to handle.

Were they ghouls? Preston had told her that they were immune to radiation, but she was too high up to tell.

Maya instinctively went to walk forward when she felt a firm grip on her shoulder stopping her in her tracks.

Danse was about to scold her once more for ignoring him, concern more of a motive than superiority. But Danse paused when his eyes caught what she’d been staring at. The Paladin shook his head when he made the connection.

“Tsk… The Children of Atom. I was afraid of this. Our recon of the Commonwealth reported sightings of them. Given their nature and affiliation for radiation - it’s no surprise they’d set up here.”

“The Children of Atom? What on earth are they? Are they human? How on earth can they be walking around down there without any protection?” Maya had so many questions and the longer she stared the more surreal it was.

“The Children of Atom are strangely resistant to radiation. The Brotherhood's spent years trying to learn why. So far, no luck.” Even under his helmet Maya could hear the click of her companion’s tongue.

That response only gave her more questions. Another warning message flashed on her helmet’s interface to inform her that she was becoming dehydrated and fatigued.

“Well are they hostile? Because we need to find Virgil soon and if they can survive here, maybe he figured out the secret and is down there too?”

“Hostile? No I don’t think so. In the Capital Wasteland the Children of Atom are nothing but a cult filled with lowlife scum. Crazy but passive in my own experience.”

“Charming description.” Maya grimaced and started to descend the hill. “Well in that case, let’s go and find out if they know anything about our missing friend.” They first made their way down and through the centerpiece of the crater. A handful of the cultists were on their knees in prayer, mumbling words of “Division” and “Atom’s glow”.

“Excuse me, we’re looking for someone, have you guys got a leader or--” Maya began to one of the ones wringing their hands in the air.

“..gentle Atom, cleanse my soul of wretchedness… give unto me your eternal fire…” Almost as quickly as she started speaking, she realised the futility as the man continued preaching, as if she wasn’t there. 

“Damn lunatics. Let’s push further into the camp, Knight.” Danse grumbled and continued walking through to the exit of the shack. “There has to be someone here whose brain’s haven’t been completely destroyed by this radiation.”

Just then, as they looked towards the shacks stacked up along the crater’s wall, Maya noticed a woman staring back at them, the only person here that seemed to be aware or care of the strangers' presence at all. The way her piercing eyes penetrated through the fog told Maya that she was the one who would be able to tell them what they needed to know.

A gang of raiders, who had taken up residence at the dilapidated Somerville Place farm, thought they could try their luck when they heard the chatter of potential victims from the vantage point of their new residence.

Though the bodies of the family who had owned the farm previously were barely cold, they didn’t hesitate to send a pack of dogs after the pair who travelled along the road below.

The familiar noise was what alerted Maya first. She was telling Hancock the story of the first time MacCready asked for her help with the Gunners, and she’d paused - just by chance - for a brief moment. That’s when she heard the growls getting closer, followed by the faint laughter of the mongrel’s owners ringing out from up the hill behind them.

As she’d done a thousand times before, Maya gripped a syringe of psycho from her most accessible pouch and quickly jabbed it into her forearm.

“FUCKING KILL!” She roared and started to laugh maniacally as the compound surged through her system. So quick that the metal of her unique .44 pistol hardly had time to catch the light when she turned it on the rabid animals.

One, two, three.

Each dropped out of the air mid-jump and landed with a loud thud. She looked around frantically to determine if her partner needed help, but Hancock was already up ahead, dodging the myriad of bullets that lit up the night sky on his way.

This, this right here was exactly what he’d missed. Risking it all and getting his hands dirty to survive.

Hurting who needed hurting before they had a chance to do the harm.

Just before Hancock made his move, a stray bullet whizzed past him, clipping his hat and knocking it off his head.

They shouldn’t have done that.

It was surprisingly easy for a ghoul to find radiation protection in Goodneighbor. When they left the bar, Hancock lead them over to the Rexford hotel where the stern, elderly receptionist rolled her eyes at the sight of the mayor and his latest piece.

“I told you last week, John Hancock. I’m not renting my rooms to you or any of your floozies unless you pay for cleaning in advance.” Clair narrowed her eyes at the pair and clicked her tongue in distaste.

“Easy there, sister. The lady here and I are actually about to head out of town. I was wondering if we could loan that hazmat suit you keep downstairs for a few days?” He asked politely with a flash of that killer smile.

Clair’s eyes narrowed further, so much so that Maya debated if she could even still see them. “Do you make a habit of running your mouth about people’s private property or are you just so high in the clouds right now that you’ve forgotten basic courtesy?” She snapped but her defence quickly softened. “A loan you say? It’ll cost you. They’re hard to come by these days and you never know when you’ll need it.”

“Name your price, sister. I can’t have this little lady frying up the moment we step foot in the Glowing Sea.” He turned with a wink to Maya and started to rummage in his bag for his caps.

A hazmat suit... Maya quirked a brow at his quick thinking. She had only ever seen them on the rare occasion and hadn’t actually considered it as a possible solution before Hancock suggested it. 

Of course, she could have gone back to the Brotherhood and belittled herself and her capabilities in asking Maxson for another suit of Power Armor for the job, and the big, strong Elder would have taken great pleasure in helping the poor little vault dweller once again...all while fucking her with his eyes as she stood there.

No, Maya needed leverage. She needed to show that she wasn’t helpless and she didn’t need them to find the Institute. At the very least, she needed Maxson to believe that. It was the only way to get what she wanted and stay on an equal footing when he had an entire army and endless resources at his advantage.

Once the good mayor had persuaded Clair to part with the suit for a few days, in exchange for a week of unlimited free sherry in the Third Rail, Maya and Hancock stopped by the old state house so she could change into it while they stocked up on chems and other necessities before heading out.

It was already dark by the time Maya and Hancock departed Goodneighbor and made their way south-west, passing by Diamond City and out of the thick of downtown Boston.

Maybe they should have waited until morning, but when Hancock put his arm around her shoulders as they laughed and jested their way out of the gates - It only confirmed to Maya just how imperative it was that they leave immediately. There was no way that she could have stayed with him in the Old State House until morning.

Besides the restless anxiety, that was always clawing at her to find Shaun, Maya simply didn’t trust her self control when it came to spending a drunken night alone with her new silver tongued companion.

On the road it was different, they had to keep some degree of focus for their survival, especially in the evening hours. If they were fortunate enough to avoid the creatures of the wasteland on their journey. It was only a matter of time before they encountered the real threat: People.

At the very least, this constant threat gave her the security that she was less likely to get caught up in any potential heated moments with Hancock if they weren’t able to relax like they could behind the walls of his town.

The first few hours of travelling went by quieter than expected. It was always slightly awkward when she first picked up a new travelling companion, especially when there was no combat to break the ice during that time.

You can learn more about someone in an hour of conversation.

Deacon had said that to her once and it stuck because it was true. Words were false and anyone can lie, but actions told you everything you needed to know about a person. 

But it felt different with Hancock, it was just like the first night she spent with him all over again, as if their souls were old friends. From the moment they left the Old State House they passed jet and mentats between them as they discussed science and philosophy and everything in between; the concepts becoming more wild as their senses heightened, before long they were even debating the probability that the Great War was actually started by Aliens.

MacCready and Daisy greeted each other like old friends. The exchange was so warm and natural that it caught Maya a little off guard, especially with someone as reserved as Mac.

She listened to them finish up the details of getting the cure to Duncan absentmindedly, not really registering what they were saying as she found her mind drifting back to their moment in Med-Tek.

“So we leave tonight? Alright, I'd better get things ready for the road. Thanks Daisy.”

The statement jolted her out of the daydream and brought her attention back to the mercenary who was about to tell her goodbye.

“Tonight huh?” Maya repeated, the smile on her face more forced than what it should have been. She knew this was coming from the moment she’d learned of his family’s existence. “That’s good. Your family needs you back as soon as possible.”

“I’ll only be gone a few weeks. A month or two at most. How ever long it takes for Duncan to be well enough for the road.” MacCready rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking anywhere but her eyes. He refused to look her in the eyes since the basement of Med-Tek.

“I’m sure the Commonwealth will survive until you get back.” Maya teased and nudged his arm playfully, refusing to let the last time she saw him to be so uncomfortable. With a deep breath, she pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his neck and squeezing as tightly as she could. “Just make sure your baby is okay. We’ll all be here if you want to come back, but family comes first, right? Give Duncan a hug from his Aunt Maya. I think I’ve earned the title.” She teased and let him go. The tears were burning in their ducts, but she refused to let them leak out and ruin this. 

MacCready’s face burned a fierce shade of scarlet as they broke apart. With a flustered cough and an awkward nod, he made a fumbled excuse about needing to head over to Diamond City for supplies and turned to depart.

Maya watched him go and could have sworn she’d heard a sniffle as he went through the gate. To prevent her own tears from finally breaking free, she resigned herself to the belief that the sound was nothing more than the wind. .

She continued to stare after him for several long moments after he’d gone and was thankful that he left the way he did. She’d always hated goodbye’s anyway.

He’d been like this all morning and her patience was wearing thin. 

He didn’t want her to investigate the distress signal they picked up. 

He didn’t care that he woke up every creature from HQ to Med-Tek in some vain attempt to shoot away his nerves. 

He didn’t even care about scavenging for caps or valuables along the way - the final confirmation to Maya that he was not as okay as he claimed. In the many weeks they’d been travelling together, she’d never seen the mercenary this focused, or this scared.

“I’m just trying to find any more information on this ‘Prevent’ so Curie can study it.  It was a research drug, so anything we can find out about it will be good to know before we give it to Duncan, right?” Maya retorted, a little sharper than she’d intended, before placing the file back on the desk. It was only a sign-in register but her point remained valid all the same.

“Ah Monsieur MacCready, you are exhibiting symptoms of extreme agitation and anxiety. May I suggest the administration of a minute dosage of Med-X to assist you in this mission?” Curie asked eagerly as she floated by. 

By the time the chem had been dispensed - MacCready had already angrily barged past them into the offices at the back of the building. Shots and curses could be heard bouncing off the walls in the distance and Maya couldn’t help but wince as she readied her gun.

“We’d better go and make sure he doesn’t get torn apart in there. I’m sorry he’s being so...difficult, right now. He’s just worried about his son.”

Curie nodded in acknowledgement and followed behind her companion. She understood the logic and reasoning of a father being concerned over the welfare of a sick child. She understood the physical signs of worry and the effect it had on a human’s psyche. But she did not know what it felt like. She did not understand why her attempt to relieve him of this problem was not what he desired. Logically, it made no sense. So much of human behaviour made no logical sense to Curie. Over two centuries of studying them and she still did not understand what it meant to be a human. Something that bothered her more than ever now she was around so many different human beings every day.

The infestation of ferals guided them from the executive’s terminal on the third floor, all the way down the research centre’s subterranean levels where the elusive cure was apparently stored. 

MacCready barely spoke a word to Maya unless it was encouraging her to hurry up when she, Curie and Dogmeat lagged behind him on the way to the laboratory. Curie,  herself, was quieter than usual too and it made the atmosphere particularly more sombre - An impressive feat, especially when taking into consideration that the entire building had spent the last two centuries as the eternal resting place of Med-Tek’s more unfortunate employees; the poor souls who had been trapped here when the bombs fell had succumbed to the radiation instead of being granted the sweet release of death.

There were many fates worse than death in this world, but turning into a feral ghoul was one that Maya feared most.

The last of the frustrated screams echoed out from the lab by the time Maya and Curie had caught up, leaving only the frustrated heavy breathing and cursing of their companion as he attempted to search the debris for his promised goal. MacCready was the most impressive shot she’d ever witnessed anyway, but today the anticipation made him especially efficient, something she understood probably too well in her own search to save her son. It was making him reckless too.

In fact, MacCready had been so wrapped up in clearing out the ferals with almost vindictive haste, he’d completely overlooked the bright, red, auto-injecting syringe that lay in plain view on the abandoned workstation.

“Mademoiselle! Is that the item we are looking for? The cure for Monsieur MacCready’s child?” Curie had noticed the chem at almost the exact same moment Maya did.

“I think so, Curie. Can you take a look at it for me to be sure?” Maya replied, picking it up and examining it closely. 

From the opposite corner of the lab, half way through ripping a drawer open, MacCready heard the robot’s announcement and had started to make his way back over to them. 

When he saw that Maya did indeed have the injector in her hand - it was the first time she’d seen those big blue eyes light up all day. 

“We did it… holy crap, we actually did it! We just gave Duncan a fighting chance to live.” He exclaimed as he took the cure from Maya’s hands and pocketed it. Even then, he didn’t move even an inch away from her, a detail that Maya couldn’t help but register despite not wanting to. Before she could finish scolding herself for letting herself think such ridiculous things when it came to a married man - MacCready placed a trembling hand on her arm. 

“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to pay you back for this… I owe you big time.” 

Maya shook her head incredulously in an attempt to avoid his piercing gaze. 

“Mac...This is a friendship, not a business contract. All I care about is curing your son.” 

MacCready refused to let her look away. With one hand he cupped her cheek and forced her face back him, with the other he took her hand.

The surprise of his touch forced her to turn and face him, making the lack of space between them that much more highlighted. Immediately she felt her ivory cheeks flush and her heart started to race.

“I know you do.” He sighed with a dopey smile and moved his head in closer, so close that the impact of his breath sent shivers down her spine. “I'm just used to people taking rather than giving. Maybe one day I'll realize that you're different.” Before she could answer, he’d bridged what little remained of the gap between them and connected their lips.

It was clumsy and almost forceful in his haste. Not bad… just different than what she was used to.

Maya didn’t pull away, too stunned that he’d finally broke the tension between them and kissed her to really respond at first. So many questions flooded her mind and none she could bring herself to ask, the most prominent one wouldn’t stay quiet in her mind - “What about your wife?” The one he’d mentioned back in HQ. She was about to push him off and actually ask it when he did the job for her. Just as abrupt and unexpected as the kiss had started, MacCready pulled away and ended it without a word. Before any awkwardness could form, Dogmeat and Curie returned back to them after sweeping the laboratory for anything useful. 

“Madame, we discovered a small storage unit of medical supplies and I took the initiative to annex anything useful for our mission. May I suggest we leave this place if we have found what we are looking for? My systems are detecting high levels of radiation in these laboratories. Caution is strongly recommended.”

“Don’t worry about it, Curie, we can go now. The last step is to get the Cure to Daisy in Goodneighbor.” Mac smiled at Maya and started to make his way to the elevator.. “With her caravan contacts, she's the only one I trust to get this to Duncan on time.” He glanced back at his slightly stupefied companion and cocked his head to encourage her to follow. “This is the last favor I'm going to ask, I promise. Let’s go.”

“G-Goodneighbor? Right. Sure! Let’s go!” Maya nodded confidently and composed herself before following in his wake. 

Even though her heart was still racing as she awkwardly took her place next to him in the elevator, one thing was perfectly clear by the time they got back to the surface and left the building: He did not want to talk about what had happened between them. 

🖋Maya's Journal: 02/05/2288🖋 -------------------------------------------- Deacon watched as she got her equipment together and he didn't say a word.

Even if he was worried, if she didn't want him to come along this time then that was fine. It's not like they were joined at the hip.

Deacon watched as she spoke to Tom and he didn't say a word.

Even if that vile pit of dread formed in his stomach at the thought of her going back to the Glowing Sea after last time.

Deacon watched as she opened the door to leave and he didn't say a word.

Even when she locked his gaze and smiled and he felt his heart beat faster than it ever had.

Deacon watched and he let her walk away without saying a word.

“He’s still there?” Fixer inquired quietly, tucking his wrench into its holster as he took his place beside his colleague.

“Yep. And it’s after lunch, time to pay up.” Drummer Boy said with a shake of his head and a small chuckle, though it was half hearted at best. The situation was far from amusing and this observation was just an attempt to make the atmosphere at HQ a little lighter.

“What are you two staring at?”

The booming voice made both the agents jump out of their feet. Glory swung an arm around each of their shoulders and stuck her head through the middle of them to get a better look.

“Deacon’s worried. Can you believe it?” Fixer whispered, trying to prevent the Railroad’s best agent from overhearing them.

He didn’t need to worry, Deacon was so deep in thought that he hadn’t even flinched at the sound of Glory cannonballing into the conversation.

Too many thoughts and none of them good. He’d been back to this corner of HQ countless times since he’d woken up and found her long gone. The thoughts were only getting faster the longer he was forced to wait for her to come back.

If she even made it back.

Fuck.

That was one of the most frequent ones and every time he looked at her name on the board - a pit of dread formed in his stomach at the thought of having to cross it out.

“Well now I’ve seen everything,”

Deacon had to catch his glasses as Glory’s hand slapped his shoulder and knocked him off balance.

“Am I seeing Deacon, our Deacon, pining because his girlfriend has gone on a mission without him? Someone pinch me I must be dreaming.” She laughed and slumped against the wall.

“That an invite? Maybe we should use a kick, just to be sure.” He smirked, though he hoped the heat in his cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt. He didn’t know why remarks like that bothered him, if it were anyone else here he’d be the first one to make them.

“She really went off on her own to hunt the courser, huh? Lady Luck really likes to test her name,” Glory clicked her tongue and glanced at the list of agents written on their communal board with a heavy sigh.

“Yeah, apparently so.” Deacon muttered, for once not being able to even fake a smile.

“We lose agents every day. Ain’t ever seen you care this much. You’re real soft on her, aren’t you?”

“She’s my partner.” He snapped coldly and Glory got the hint to leave him. He didn’t mean for it to sound as hostile as it did but the insinuation wasn’t missed on him and he wasn’t in the mood for joking around.

Soft on her…

The words made him grimace as he pulled the cigarette from behind his ear. Her name shone through the cloud of smoke as he ignited it, accompanied by her smiling face burned in his mind’s eye.

Once more he felt that now familiar dread turn his blood to ice as he thought of never seeing it in front of him again.

So what if he cared about her? Why did that have to be such a big deal? He cared about all their agents. He’d feel the same if Glory, or Tom, or Fixer or any other agent went on a mission alone and…

Okay that was a lie that even he couldn’t swallow.

He’d be concerned if it were anyone else, sure, but this? It was different. He couldn’t get her out of his head since he’d found her gone this morning and it was even more frustrating that it was too late to go following her and he couldn’t shut it off like he could with everything else.

Of course he was worried, she was his partner.

Hell, she was even his friend, maybe the first person he’d ever really considered for the title in a really long time.

Maybe the first time since…

Why did he always think of her when he thought of Maya?

Deacon shook his head and looked around the Railroad, finally noticing his fellow agents desperately trying to act as if they weren’t all just staring at him with pity and intrigue.

They were all thinking the same thing as Glory and that realisation made his blood start to boil. It shouldn’t bother him, because it was irrelevant what people thought. None of today should have bothered him and... yet it did.