#max.primer

important note: daniel was accused of pretty brutally assaulting a former indycar racer. (warning: graphic images) for what it's worth, the story is a little fishy and there is absolutely no mention of it other than the articles from august 11th - i followed this incident very closely because my first favorite hockey player was p*trick k*ne and i learned my lesson in a hard way, and there was no local news after the initial accusation, no criminal charges pressed, no statement again from anyone on either side. he obviously doesn't cross my personal rpf boundaries, but yours may be different!

okay let's continue 😎

my love for daniel sprong (i luv to full name him) is inextricably tied to his being a 22-23 seattle kraken, which is going to be My Team for the rest of my life god willing. it was just fucking electric to be a kraken fan in seattle that year, and daniel was a big part of that. he ended the 21-22 season with the kraken and as a free agent that summer signed a pto and then a contract with the team right before the season started and then had a career year with us. he was occasionally healthy scratched, but usually on the fourth line. a local like sports and culture writer started making memes about him on twitter in a fun way, idk there was just a lot of local hype around him. and he was playing well! he was winning games for us! call it bad data but the stats say we lost a LOT more games when he was scratched than when he wasn't.

before he was a kraken, daniel sprong was drafted in 2015 to the pens in the second round. he was in draft year (2015) which is a docuseries that appears to have been wiped off the face of the earth except for this instagram account and the google drives of generous friends. the series highlighted six (i think) players leading up to the 2015 nhl draft - it's a real gold mine of content, it's a shame it's not more widely available. anyway so he's drafted to the pens where he plays a handful of games with them and then is sent back to major juniors. i'm pretty sure the guys in pittsburgh do not care for him - he's known especially at the beginning of his career as being a pretty severe defensive liability.

the pens trade him to the ducks in 2018, and the ducks play him a little and then send him to the gulls because he's a defensive liability. in 2020 the ducks trade him to the caps. he played for the bears at first, eventually gets a contract extension and a little more than minimum wage. in march 2022 he's traded to the kraken! he's still a defensive liability probably but like i said he had a banner year 22-23. after that season, which was the entire length of his contract, he was a free agent and ron francis was like, go get your bag kid, and sprong signed a 2m x 1yr contract with the red wings.

he does alright with the wings - stays on the nhl team, scores some goals. he doesn't put up enough of a showing that the wings extend his contract and he remains unsigned for most of this summer. i think he ended up on the canucks on a pto and then they basically just gave him back to us. which is to say traded for future considerations.

then last week we put him on waivers and for 24 hours i considered death and dying and then he cleared waivers and now he's on our ahl team, which is not my favorite thing but also isn't my worst case scenario i guess.

BEFORE all that, daniel sprong was born in amsterdam. his dad played hockey there, and when daniel was 7 they moved to quebec so he could pursue his hockey career more seriously.

now let's get into some fun stuff!

my first dms to beccah on the subject:

(sidebar i did actually submit a photo of daniel sprong to the leadership program & at the end the six weeks three separate people had left me shoutouts to thank me for my participation so. if you've ever wondered why i am the way i am it's because the universe only rewards me.)

my assessment of his fursona from this post about kraken fursonas i made:

some get to know the player graphics from the kraken and the red wings:

MUCH to consider!!!! sprong & burky were on the caps together for a brief amount of time, and have a known bromance (although i'm not sure burky has ever met a man he couldn't bromance). but WHAT a weirdo!! in another kraken media thing, he says wizards of waverly place was his favorite show growing up. i love him!!!!!

a really critical piece of media about him TO ME is this deep dive on his tattoos the kraken did. this is also were i sourced the first two photos at the top! some takeaways:

The first tattoo Sprong got was on the inside of his left arm. It's a rose with the birthdates of his parents, his sister, and himself inside. He got the tattoo in Montreal from an artist that a friend had recommended. "I'm not great with dates, but I don't really have any excuse to forget now," Sprong said with a smile.

okay girl. had to get a tattoo of your own birthday to remember it, i see you. this tattoo is kind of ugly so if you want to see it you will have to click the link sorry 🫡

"The outside is a bit of a forest and some water and trees with two wolves," Sprong said. "One wolf (represents) my dad, one (represents) me and the two birds are my grandparents back in Amsterdam."

i'm going to be so real with you when i say daniel sprong would be a furry in a life without hockey. further evidence:

But Sprong doesn't have to wait to finish the sleeve on his arm. He already knows what he wants for the front. It will be a play on imagery from his favorite movie growing up: Disney's The Lion King. Sprong's current vision includes two lions, something that holds multiple personal meanings to the 26-year-old, as well as Pride Rock.

OKAYYY yeah every hockey player wants a lion king tattoo. oh wait that's just me and all my friends.

here are some stills i have saved from draft year (2015) where he looks especially ridiculous and sweet:

here, he's talking about how much he misses peanut butter spread while he's adhering to a strict meal plan. i too would not handle giving up peanut butter well :( his fucked up teeth are sooooooo important to meeeeee

in this one i'm pretty sure he's winning an award playing on a team with people quite a bit older than him. look at his little neck guard!!!! his abundant curls!!! these days you hardly see him without a hat on because his hairline is awol. i truly don't understand why he doesn't just shave his head...... he would look amazing bald and yet he remains dedicated to the hair left on his head. actually ykw i accept this i think if he wants to rock his natural hair he should.

op i get you.

when luke prokop came out, daniel sprong was the first member of the caps to post in support of him:

also on the caps, daniel sprong did math!

here's a picture that drove me crazy from the moment i watched the video it comes from. daniel is ALWAYS wearing a snapback or something with the brim to the front (regrettably not as slutty as he could be, sigh) and looking down - so this angle is really striking imo.

OKAY pivoting hard but my absolute favorite thing is HOW BADLY HE WANTS TO BE A SEATTLE KRAKEN. when he was traded back to us this season from vancouver, he said he never really wanted to leave the team. HE LOVE US. i hate dan bylsma for scratching him 90% of the time he was with us before putting him on waivers. i'm not going to get into his recent post-game comments after scoring two goals and having an assist in his opening night w coachella because he's right and he should say it tbh.

another thing i love is that he talks like he has marbles in his mouth. it's that dutch french canadian thing he's got going on. it's charming!!!!!!!

also he is regularly on ice in shorts and flip flops. freak ass.

the following is NOT my favorite slow-mo video of him but unfortunately when my pc bricked itself a couple years ago i lost my favorite video, lovingly titled DANIEL SPRONG THAT ASS. but this video is mesmerizing also.

and finally!!!!! here's a snippet of burky/sprog fic i will probably never finish, if you've made it this far

in conclusion: