#max shenanigans

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Davrinsleftpectoral

It had been a picture perfect day in Rivain. The sun had been out in full force and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Now the sun was sinking towards the horizon, the heat of the day at last beginning to dissipate. 

Turvi was waiting at the bar of the the Hilt Bar and Grill and Bar. He had a large platter of breaded cheese wands in front of him and was waiting for the bartender to mix up a round of drinks. 

"How many did you say you wanted?" Zalan asked.

"Five. The others should be here soon. Don't forget the salt on the rim!"

Zalan rolled his eyes. "I know how to make a Salty Dog."

"I know, I know. You always make the best drinks, Z."

"I told you not to call me that," Z mumbled.

Turvi continued on, nonplussed. "It's just that Ayla's only here for a short visit, and I want to make sure we show her the best the Hilt has to offer." Zalan nodded half-heartedly, setting the last drink on a tray. 

"Thanks, Z," Turvi said, balancing the cheese wands in one hand and the drink tray in the other. He carefully made his way over to a table where Xiqaa and Dasha were waiting.

"About time," Xiqaa said. "Have you thought about working here for extra coin? You'd make an excellent serving wench."

"I would, wouldn't I?" He said, flexing his bicep as he lifted the drink tray up and down. 

"Show off," Dasha laughed. "Put down the drinks already! I'm parched."

"Turvi-Fuckin'-Laidir!" Came a yell from across the Hilt.

Turvi spotted Ayla and waved. "Over here Shot Glass!" Ayla laughed raucously and jogged over to the table.

"Sorry, hope I'm not too late. My last match at the Hall of Valor ran long. There was one hurlock that just would not go down."

"Nah, the goblin queen arrives just when she means to," Dasha said, as she handed Ayla a drink.

It was at that moment that Ilene jumped down from the rafters, landing perfectly on Turvi's back, forcing the air out of him with an oof. "Exactly!" Ilene agreed with a self satisfied grin. "I didn't think my brother was ever going to be done with those drinks." She moved to hold out her hand to ask for a drink, and Turvi handed her one before she could say anything.

"Everyone make sure to eat some of the cheese wands before you drink too much, it'll help you last longer," Xi reminded them.

"That's what she said!" Laughed Dasha.

mushrooms-x-moss

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Ayla cackled, giving Dasha a high five and then a kiss. Ayla made the rounds, kissing each of her friends' cheeks in greeting before stuffing a cheese wand into her face so enthusiastically it made Xi raise their eyebrows.

"What?! Fighting makes me hungry!" she grumbled, already reaching for another. Everyone had a nice laugh at that, and Ayla smiled, sipping her drink while glancing around the table at all their cute little faces. Damn, it had been way too long since they'd all been together like this.

She took another sip of the fancy-ass cocktail Dasha had given her. "Andraste's tits, this is good. What the hell is it?" she asked.

"A Salty Dog," Turvi helpfully replied.

Ayla snickered. "Really? You're telling me that's not a nickname for hisgrumpy ass?" she teased, nodding her head towards Zalan at the bar.

Ilene let out a snort laugh that made her choke on her drink. "It is now."

Their table burst into laughter, drawing Zalan's attention, the bartender's eyes narrowing when he noticed them all staring. Ayla gave him a cheeky wave, wiggling her fingers and cackling when it just made him shake his head. "So what sort of trouble did y'all get into today?" she asked, turning back towards her friends.

"Just the right ammount," Dasha quipped, giving Ayla a sultry wink that made her laugh.

"Debatable." Ilene shot Dasha a glare while biting into the cheese wand Turvi wordlessly handed her over his shoulder.

Ayla snickered when Dasha lightly rolled her eyes in response. "I told you I could get us in there without the fire—and I did."

"Took fucking forever though," Xiqaa grumbled.

Ilene nodded. "And way less fun."

"Oooh! More ruins?" Ayla sat up excitedly in her seat. "What was it like? Did you find treasure? Monsters?! Ooo, no, wait—a dragon?? Come on, spill! Y'all know I live for this shit."

Xi laughed, making their incredible purple curls bounce around their face. "Oh, we found some treasure alright."

"Maker's breath," Ayla snickered, turning to give Turvi a pointed look. "Don't tell me you got cursed again."

Turvi opened his mouth to stay something in reply, but was cut off, suddenly interrupting himself with an obnoxiously loud burp. Ayla began howling with laughter when a bunch of little pink bubbles flew out of him along with it.

He gave her a sheepish shrug. "…Only a little."

"Sorry Turbs," Xiqaa said, clapping Turvi on the shoulder. "Just keep touching shit. You're bound to be cursed with something useful eventually…though probably not as cool as me," they snickered, tenting their fingers as sparks flew between them.

Show off.

Ayla rolled her eyes. "Yeah? Reckon we don't need insane powers to still beat your ass at knarts, Lightning Fingers McGee."

"Prove it," Xi scoffed, standing from the table with a challenging grin.

Ayla pushed her chair aside to smirk up into Xi's face where it towered above her.

"You're on, sugar."

genjyoandgojyoandhakkai

“Shots first,” Xiqaa proclaimed, ordering their signature layered drink. Zalan poured with practiced hands and a skeptical eye.

Drinks drunk, Ayla and Xiqaa took their places, daggers ready, elbows nudging. Dasha and Turvi moved to a table closer to the contest, Turvi squatting on the seat of his chair, drink tilted precariously. Dasha rescued it out of his hand.

“Ten on Ayla,” Ilene declared, hopping onto the tabletop.

“Bold,” Dasha grinned. “I’ll take it. Loser buys a round.”

Zalan wandered over, collecting glasses with a sigh. “No brawling if you lose, remember?”

“I never brawl,” Xi laughed. “Ready, Ayla?” They rolled their shoulders; sparks crackled, a few snapping to Zalan, who looked annoyed.

“Always, sugar,” Ayla said, drawing and tossing, fluid and careless.

“Damn,” Xi admired the knife’s placement, then Ayla. “Hot stuff.”

Ayla bowed, preening, shaking out her fingers like she was soothing a burn. “Don’t I know it!”

“Shot Glass!” Turvi whooped.

Xi’s eye twitched. “Beginner’s luck.”

“Beginner?” Ayla laughed. “I’ve been throwing knives since before you learned how to braid those fancy curls.”

Dasha raised her glass in a good‑luck toast; Xi plucked it from her fingers and finished it with a smile and a wink.

“Better. Thanks, Dasha,” they said, steadying themself.

The knife thunked into the board, landing just shy of Ayla’s. Respectable.

“Looks like you can’t back up the sizzle after all,” Ayla needled.

Second throw, Ayla’s knife found the ring outside the center.

“Call me when there’s a challenge,” she bragged.

“C’mon, Xi!” Dasha and Turvi urged, rocking the table as Ilene balanced easily, laughing.

Xi stepped forward for their second throw. Their fingers glowed faintly. Ayla narrowed her eyes at them.

Their knife flew, biting into cork. Outside.

Round two: Ayla.

Biting a cheese wand then handing the other half to Turvi, Ayla squinted. Last throw; she was almost victorious.

Wiping her fingers, Ayla squared her stance and threw. The knife hit clean: inner ring again, outside center. The table erupted, Ilene jumping off her perch when Turvi yelled loud enough to rattle the rafters.

Xi’s jaw flexed. “Cute.”

Poised for their final throw, sparks danced lazily between their fingers.

Ayla narrowed her eyes. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Not thinking,” Xi said mischievously.

The knife left their hand. In the same instant, a bright flash detonated across the room, searing white. Everyone yelped, flinching; blinded, deafened by the thunder. Turvi flipped backward off his chair. Dasha cursed. Ilene clung to the table with miraculous tenacity.

In the chaos, unseen, Xi stabbed their dagger into the heart of the knart board.

The group recovered, blinking and complaining. Xi stood innocently, hands behind their back, whistling.

Ayla walked up to the board. She stared at her knife. Then Xi’s. Her gaze dropped: a second knife lay on the floor at Xi’s feet. Their actualthrow.

Ayla looked up at them slowly.

Xi grimaced.

The table exploded into laughter.

“You forgot to clean up,” Ayla said, voice syrupy‑sweet. “Nice try, Lightning-Butter Fingers.”

kabsey

Ilene sprawled across the table, one hand supporting her head and the other held out to Dasha. "I'll take my gold and that round now, loser."

Dasha rolled her eyes but reluctantly fished a handful of coins out of her cleavage. "You aren't really going to make me buy a round, are you?" she whined with a pretty pout. "You always drink for free."

"True!" Ilene shouted. She leapt from their table to the next nearest one and then the next and the next, making glasses rock and scattering the pots of various card games while the players yelled and swore at her in protest. Her last leap took her to the bar top, and she hopped down behind to survey the array of bottles, one fingertip pressed to her lips in thought.

Zalan scowled at her. "Ilene," he warned in a threatening voice.

She waved her free hand at him while her sharp gaze continued to consider her options. A moment later, she was climbing the shelves and tucking bottle after bottle into the crook of her arm. Zalan watched her from beneath furrowed brows, one arm outstretched to catch her if she fell. His shoulders relaxed when her boots hit the floor again, and with a reluctant sigh, he set out five shot glasses.

For all that Ilene had seemingly chosen bottles at random, she poured very precise layers of each liquor into the glasses. When she was done, she hopped back onto the bar top and then swung her legs over to perch on the edge of the customers' side.

"Serving wench!" she hollered while beckoning to their table. Turvi obediently trotted over, grabbed the tray that Zalan had loaded with the glasses, and then turned his back to her. She let out an approving whoop before jumping on, and Turvi carried both drinks and drink maker back to the table. Ilene passed out the shots, and the others collected them with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Do I want to know what this is?" Xi asked.

"Definitely not," Dasha replied, but she downed her drink gamely. As she slammed her empty glass back on the table, her eyes flew wide. The sound of Ilene's cackle nearly drowned out Dasha's intense coughing fit while Turvi patted her on the back with a concerned look.

"Can't be worse than darkspawn blood!" Ayla announced cheerfully and downed her own drink.

Turvi and Xi exchanged a solemn toast of impending doom and then drained their glasses together while Ayla gagged and spat on the floor. Sparks of lightning and pink bubbles danced over the table as Ilene smacked her lips in satisfaction after downing her own shot.

"What do you call that?" Xi wheezed.

Ilene shurgged. "Dunno yet. I just made it."

"Demon Monkey," Dasha gasped, fanning her mouth with one hand.

"Drunk Koala," Turvi offered with another spray of pink bubbles.

"Titty Titty Bang Bang!" Ayla declared, and Ilene howled with laughter, pounding her fist on the table.

Come back tomorrow for part 2!

Thank you to @mushrooms-x-moss for making all the graphics! You are a graphic design wizard my friend. And thank you @blackwall-my-tiny-husband for letting us kidnap Zalan. 

Special shoutout to the other silly gooses that helped write this piece. I had so much fun making it.