Welcome To Nug E Cheese

It’s an ongoing sitcom style AU based on the children’s arcade slash restaurant, Chuck E Cheese. It’s a fun service worker AU with Neve as the manager. Rook works in her store, along with other veilguard members. Solas is the aloof regional manager. There’s a doctor hot pants (Single hot dads in your area). And a potential serial killer. Follow the antics of the gang as they try to save their Dock Town store and live their lives while working a minimum wage job.

It’s silly and fun and earnest and lots and lots of other dragon age OCs come to visit the store. This AU features my main rook, Turvi.

You can send in an ask to get your rook in the fic! Read more if you’re interested here.

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Keep on Trucking

Read on ao3 here.

My second ongoing long fic. My rook Turvi lives in Rivain in the city of Dairsmud, and spends all of his time running his (sea)food truck, They Sea Me Rolling. It’s a mostly lighthearted slice of life fic, with a friends to lovers plot involving his neighbor, Naera.

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Turvi Laidir

My main datv Rook and most specialist blorbo. If I’m writing it’s usually about him. Use the tag #turvi to find more about him. One day I’ll put more links in here.

This piece is a timeline of his life - Life cycle of a pirate

Throwback tag games - a collection of games I did mostly over the summer, a great way to get to know more about Turvi. Also just fun to play, tag me if you do!

Characterization cheat sheet. A handy guide when it comes to Turvi. I love finding these, it makes writing for other rooks so much easier.

Turvi spent a good part of his youth as a slave, this piece details how he got free.

==

Lighthouse High

An AU where too many rooks go to high school together. Many shenanigans and hijinks ensue.

Turvi had convinced them to eat dinner at the Hilt. Not that it usually took any amount of convincing to get his partners down to the bar, but he'd been planning on trying a recipe he'd gotten on their last trip to Minrathous. That was, until he found out that Ulli was going to be working that night. Ulli not only made the best drinks but he did the best line work too.

He did feel a little guilty, Gladius had been looking forward to the meal he'd promised to make. Though he would still make it, just not that night. The set up was easy. Turvi mentioned that he'd heard a rumor that the Hilt had a new dessert on the menu and Naera was begging that they go so she could try it. He protested, and predictably Nae pouted. Fortunately, Gladius was weak to her pout too, if not quite as bad as Turvi, and so the three of them were on their way to the Hilt Bar and Grill and Bar for the evening.

Turvi and Nae found a cozy table in the corner while Gladius went to the bar for drinks and to place an order for food. The drink special was brightly colored and fruity. It was sweeter than Gladius typically liked, but they all agreed it was better than the last special, jungle juice chugalugs, which was just a bunch of leftover liquor mixed together and poured as shots. 

They talked and laughed, easily passing the time while they waited for food. Turvi used the excuse of checking on their order to go and speak with Ulli. He was behind the bar, but said he'd brought his gear along, should anyone be interested. Turvi said that he was, and he'd be back once his partners were distracted by dinner. 

He had timed his trip up to the bar well and was able to help carry platters of food back to their table. Naera's eyes lit up as they always did when presented with a meal, and he watched as Gladius loaded up a plate and handed it to her. Watching them, Turvi's heart swelled with affection. Gladius filled another plate and turned to hand it to him, catching him watching. Glad reciprocated with a soft smile of his own. Turvi felt his stomach flip like the sap he was, and the anticipation of his secret mission grew.

Turvi ate quickly, enough so that the alcohol wouldn't leave him tipsy. He used the excuse of seeing someone he needed to talk to, and after promising not to take too long, he slipped away.

Ulli was a master of his trade, and in no time at all, he was finished with Turvi. He admired his handiwork and Turvi had to agree, it was fantastic. Turvi paid the man and thanked him profusely and slipped a loose linen shirt back over his head before he left to go rejoin his partners.

==

Turvi made excuses as to why he couldn't be the one to carry Naera home on his back. Nae was unbothered and simply hopped onto Gladius instead. Turvi knew he was not a good liar, but he instead would rely on his charm to be able to get by. He could tell by the look in Gladius' eye that he wasn't buying it, though he didn't call Turvi out on their walk home.

Once they were back inside the small house on the beach with the red door, Turvi went straight to the kitchen to keep himself and Gladius and Naera busy. 

"I'm so stuffed, I might pop. That dessert was so good," Naera sighed, plopping herself down on the couch.

"I could use some tea. Would you like some Glad? Or a hot chocolate?" Turvi asked, already starting to fill the kettle.

"Oh yes, that sounds amazing, thank you!" Nae exclaimed. Turvi made the mistake of looking at Gladius for his answer. He found Gladius already watching him, a curious look on his face.

"What are you up to?" Gladius asked, a smile trying to tug at the corners of his mouth. Turvi did his best to keep his face neutral, and not smile or start laughing in return. That man was so perceptive sometimes. Not that Naera wasn't, she knew Turvi better than anyone and could see right through him when she wanted to. But Naera was also easier to distract. The offer of a hot beverage was not going to redirect Gladius.

"I'm just making some hot drinks, waiting to see if I should get a cup ready for you too," he tried to say nonchalantly. 

"I would like some tea, thank you," Gladius said, stalking into the kitchen. "I would also like to know why you're wearing a shirt."

Turvi kept himself busy getting mugs out, refusing to turn back around, and even biting his lip to keep himself from laughing. "What? I was cold. The breeze off the water tonight was quite chilly." 

"I know you don't like being cold, but even you can't be that cold," Gladius chuckled. He grabbed Turvi by the shoulder and spun him around to face himself.

"No really! I'm freezing. That's why I wanted hot tea," he said, pointing exaggeratedly to the kettle as a bubble of laughter snuck out. 

"Mhmm," Gladius hummed. "Why don't I warm you up then," he said, stepping closer and reaching out to grab Turvi to pull him flush against him. 

"Wait—" he said putting his hands on Gladius abs to stop his advances. "I… am still making drinks. Nae is expecting hot chocolate and I wouldn't want to disappoint her," he finished lamely. 

"Now you know if she saw us getting handsy in here, she'd be dragging us both back to the bedroom, whether there was hot chocolate or not," Gladius chuckled. Turvi hung his head in defeat, because Gladius was absolutely correct.

"Fine, you win," Turvi said in a dejected tone of voice, but when he lifted his head again, he was smiling wide.

Gladius cocked his head. "What exactly do I win?"

Turvi grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head, dropping it on the floor. "This," he said, gesturing at his chest.

Gladius' eyes traveled down and then widened slightly. "What is this?" He asked, his voice dropping as it softened.

"This one is a snake tattoo. I wanted one that reminded me of you," he said, tipping his head towards Gladius' own large snake tattoo on his bicep.

"And what's that one?" Gladius asked, pointing to another that was below it and to the left.

"A sea serpent," Turvi said.

"Ooooh let me see," Naera said, finally joining them in the kitchen. Turvi turned slightly to give her a better view. He expected Gladius to step back but he didn't move. "Oh Turbee! They are so good. Look its the three of us! The snake for Gladdy, a sea serpent for Turbee, and the mermaid nug for me, the most beautiful and mythical creature in all the seas." Turvi smiled and nodded, because she was right.

"Why were you hiding this then?" Gladius asked.

"I thought I'd try to surprise you after it healed a little," Turvi shrugged. 

Gladius grabbed Turvi's face in both hands and pulled him in for kiss. "Thank you," he said, rubbing his thumbs on his cheeks.

The kettle startled whistling then, and Naera moved it off the heat. "You know, I'm not really in the mood for hot chocolate any more," she said, hugging Gladius from behind. "But that tattoo is still really fresh Turbs. Guess you'll have to sit this one out."

"She's right," Gladius agreed. "We don't want to mess up this fine work of art."

"Aw come on."

"Sorry, you gotta heal," Nae said, starting to tug on Gladius to pull him to the bedroom.

"I'm sure we can get creative and find a way to not touch the tattoos. I can put the shirt back on!"

"You can sit in the chair and watch," Naera offered, cackling on her way to their bedroom. Laughing, Turvi chased after them.

And now screenshots of the tattoo in question! Thank you to @flowersforthemachines for modding these tattoos for me and making the NPRook mods 😘

Thank to @lof-weekend for hosting this fantastic event.

Thank you to @serensama and @jenn2d2 for letting me borrow your blorbos.

Gentle taggies

mushrooms-x-moss

"Holy shit." Ayla shook her head, awestruck at Dasha's moves, and whistled through her fingers in celebration.

Turvi generously treated them to another round of those tasty Salty Doggie things, and Ayla sipped on it, following everyone over to the pool table with a grin. She perched on a nearby table with Ilene, the two of them swinging their legs as they watched Turvi and Xi squabble over 'the lucky cue stick'.

Dasha set up the balls, and handed the triangle to Ayla with a wink. "Nice rack," she teased, making Ayla giggle.

Ayla watched them play until a few turns later, when Dasha let out a frustrated curse. She was trying to line herself up for a tricky jump shot, but couldn't seem to get the angle right.

Ayla looked down at the rack in her hands, and got an idea.

Ohohohoho.

She put the triangle over Ilene's head, who laughed and let it fall down so she could wear it like a necklace.

"I got you boo boo," Ayla cooed over to Dasha, scurrying to her side. "You need a sharper angle to make that shot, sugar." Ignoring everyone's incredulous stares, Ayla leaned backwards onto the table, squishing her tits together with a cackle. "If you rest your cue between them, reckon you got yourself a perfect guide!"

Dasha let out a laugh, but did as she suggested, resting a cheeky hand on Ayla's chest to steady herself before taking the shot. The cue ball hit Dasha's, sending it soaring over Xiqaa's striped No. 10 and neatly into the corner pocket to a round of raucous applause.

"TITTY TITTY BANG BANG!!" Ilene whooped from her perch.

Dasha gave Xiqaa a smug smirk, but they just shrugged.

"You're not mad?" Dasha asked.

"Not with that view."

They played a few more games, each of them taking turns using Ayla as a living bridge for their cues, downing even more drinks and attempting trick shots that became increasingly insane. Until Turvi accidentally hit a ball over the bar, and Zalan took away their pool privileges.

"Anyone down for limbo instead?" Turvi asked, holding out his cue like a limbo stick. He groaned when Zalan came up behind him and confiscated it, but Ilene hopped down from the table in excitement.

"Use me!"

Turvi raised an eyebrow at her.

"What are you going on about, Demon Monkey?" Dasha asked.

"Use me as the stick!"

Turvi hoisted Ilene up under the shoulders, while Dasha grabbed her feet.

Xi gave Ayla a challenging grin. "Loser buys the next round?"

She nodded in agreement, and soon after, nearly the entire Hilt was limbo-ing under Ilene.

"Suck in your tits, Shot Glass!" Ilene heckled, in between the bites of cheese wand Turvi was feeding her.

"I'm tryinggggggggg," Ayla huffed, barely making it under. "HAH!" she shouted triumphantly, nudging Xi, who had their arms crossed over their chest.

"It's not fair," they said, their glare undercut by a teasing expression. "Your ass is huge."

"The hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Lower center of gravity."

Ayla smirked. "You gonna keep bitching and staring, or actually do something about it?"

Before she could react, Xi gave her a heated kiss, scooped Ayla's cackling-ass up, and carried her away.

…Guess good ol' Lightning Fingers could back up the sizzle after all.

genjyoandgojyoandhakkai

Turvi, Dasha and Ilene watched Xiqaa carry Ayla past a swinging door at the back of the bar. Dasha shrugged. She and Turvi clinked glasses and drained another round, but Ilene snuck back behind the bar, climbing stealthily to the corner where a small locked cage held bottles of all shapes and colors, some glowing.

Ilene crouched, eyes gleaming. “Ooooh. Forbidden beverages.”

Zalan was too late. “Ilene. No. Don’t open that.”

Which, naturally, was Ilene’s plan. She flash-froze the lock, snatched a dusty bottle with a half‑rotted cork and a faint Fade-glow, and held it up triumphantly.

BATCH #3—DO NOT DRINK.

“Why keep this if not to drink?” she asked. “It’s a bar!”

“And grill,” Dasha added, stuffing Deep Road Crispers into her mouth.

“And bar,” Turvi said, pointing at the menu.

“We keep it locked up!” Zalan cried. “On purpose!”

Ilene shrugged, vaulted onto the bar and across two tables, landing in front of Turvi with the bottle held out. Turvi, being Turvi, yanked the crumbling cork free and took a heroic swig.

“Whoa! Everything’s turning colors!” He hiccuped, burped, then gasped when no bubbles appeared. “It cured me!”

Ilene eyed Zalan. “What’s in that?”

“Dunno. It’s locked up for good reason.”

“Hey!” Turvi yelled and a geyser of bubbles in every color erupted from his mouth and nose. “They tickle!”

Ilene poked him in the ribs and Turvi burst into laughter. The laughter made bubbles of all sizes float out, bouncing and clinging to every surface. The bar became a bubble pit in seconds. Ilene dove into a particularly large bubble and rolled around, bumping into table legs and people legs. Dasha climbed into another, steering herself toward Zalan just to watch him flinch.

Zalan repeated, “No. N-no. No. NO. NO,” like a prayer.

Turvi got stuck halfway inside a bubble, legs dangling, arms flailing, until Ilene caromed him the rest of the way in with a delighted scream. The bubble sealed around him with a soft fwip. He laughed harder, and the inside of his bubble began filling with bubbles—tiny, medium, and huge.

Turvi started swimming through them as the bubble drifted upward, bumping the ceiling and ricocheting off a chandelier.

“HELP—HAHAHAHA—OH NO—HAHAHAHA—” he cried, spinning inside like laundry in a dryer.

Xi and Ayla came back in, still rearranging clothing. Ayla looked dazed, hair standing on end in places.

Both froze, taking in the chaos.

Zalan was fending off bubble‑ized tankards and shot glasses with a broom. Ilene had figured out how to get her bubble to stick to the ceiling and was hanging like a bat. Dasha balanced atop the bar, steering her bubble with her feet.

Turvi waved. “HI XI! I CAN SWIM NOW!” The bubble inflated further with each word.

Ayla stared up at him. “You couldn’t swim before?”

“I got cursed,” Turvi said, mabari-paddling in place.

Zalan jabbed the broom at Xi. “Figure out how to pop these. Now.”

Xi sighed, raised their hands, static gathering at their fingertips. Every bubble shivered and clung to the nearest surface.

“Everyone hold still,” Xi said.

Ilene waved her hand and a soft charge rippled through the bar. The bubbles froze, frosted over like glass ornaments. Turvi’s bubble drifted downward until it settled on a table with a quiet thup.

Turvi pressed his face against the bubble wall. “I’m stuck.”

With a ZZZZZAP, every bubble in the place popped, and the air filled with harmless sparks and glittering rainbow Fade-dust. Turvi tumbled out of his bubble, landing on a pile of chairs, a dagger narrowly missing him.

Dasha applauded. Ilene bowed. Zalan sighed.

“Turvi! We were gone for ten minutes,” Xi groaned.

Ayla grinned. “Looks like you’re the only thing keeping Turvi grounded.”

“Not what you said a few minutes ago,” Xi laughed, wiping dark red lipstick off the corner of their mouth.

“That’s a secret for us to know, Butter-Lightning Fingers McGee,” Ayla winked.

blackwall-my-tiny-husband

Zalan watched as Turvi uncorked the forbidden bottle and drained a glug before Dasha and Ilene both took generous swigs themselves. 

He looked on in horror as Turvi began laughing, the bubbles still coming out at a sluggish pace and the sunshine of a man splayed himself over the top of one of the tables, pointing at the ceiling in obvious delight. 

"Whoa everything's turning colors!" He continued laughing and then gasped, "It cured me!' 

Which had Zalan raising a brow- the bubbles were still very obviously coming from his mouth. Concern rising he looked at the others- Dasha and Ilene were both leaning against each other laughing, "The bubbles!" They were both muttering, Ilene waving a hand around and Dasha wiggling her toes. 

Coming around the bar to prod at them he was shaking Ilene by the shoulder when Turvi started pinwheeling his arms around crying out for help. 

Xiqaa and Ayla wandered out from the back looking around, 

"Xi look I can swim now!" Turvi was announcing from his spot on the table, his arms and legs pedaling through the air laughter and bubbles spilling from his mouth. 

Both Xiqaa and Ayla looked to Zalan who pointed to the mystery bottle, "Ilene opened the forbidden alcohol." He explained, maybe realizing too late exactly who he was telling this to because Ayla had grabbed the bottle and excitedly downed a portion before handing it to Xiqaa. Zalan took a step towards the duo shouting no no no at them but Xi only grinned and chugged back from the bottle. He took the bottle just as Xiqaa started grinning and the two slumped down onto the floor, leaning against each other 

"My bubble is stuuuuuuuck." Turvi cried, panicking. 

Ilene raised an arm giggling uncontrollably, "Don't worry I'll magic you out!" Zalan sighed, watching his very unmagical sister as she made a whooshing noise. 

From their spot on the ground Xiqaa laughed and called out, "I got youuuu." And sputtered sparks of lightning that fizzled out quickly. 

Dasha applauded loudly, cheering. Ilene fell over laughing and Ayla cackled, shoving Xiqaa's shoulder, "You keep Turbee grounded!" The two leaned close to each other, giggling and muttering.

With one last look around Zalan locked the bottle back in the safe, realizing there was no way any of them were going to be able to walk home. He would be closing up the bar and having to drag their butts someplace to sleep it off. 

Pulling Ilene up by the arm he slung her onto his back with a grunt. Maybe if he was really lucky he'd be able to convince Gladius to help him.

Thank you to @mushrooms-x-moss for making all the graphics! You are a graphic design wizard my friend. And thank you @blackwall-my-tiny-husband for letting us kidnap Zalan and writing the surprise ending for us.

Special shoutout to the other silly gooses that helped write this piece. I had so much fun making it.