#max harm

so max harm. maximilian maximus harmageddon. i don’t know how to properly begin this. i guess ill just start with how he views people/patients/potential patients.

to him, patients are just things he can control to get more money. it’s a whole monopoly type deal where if he gets more people unhealthy he gets more customers and he gets more cash and he just repeats the cycle (or something idk i’ve never played monopoly). he doesn’t care about his patients and never has. he only cares about what they can offer them, and in reality they aren’t really people to him. i mean, just look at any of his videos! he doesn’t give 2 flying fucks about them!

i mean, sometimes it doesn’t even seem like max likes his job much. or respects it. i mean, he drinks on the job (1), during surgeries (2), regularly insults his patients (don’t need a source for this one, but if you insist look through the emily wokerson story) and is completely willing to break his hippocratic oath for like no reason (3). this dude doesn’t care about his job status in the slightest. it seems like no matter what, he knows he’s gonna be ok. and he is, being the only doctor in the cgcu (4). like there’s no way he’s going to lose this job.

but if he doesn’t like the job, why keep it at all? there are plenty of cgcu characters without jobs (ik emily doesn’t have one, too lazy to search for it) and they do just fine. so what’s the deal with being a doctor, if he could live just fine as a normal dude?

well, let’s go through it.

number 1: free access to drugs whenever. this is pretty sick, if not for the fact that robin banks exists. he’s a drug dealer (do i really need a source?). max could just get it off of him. only thing is this’d cost money. in canon, max and robin work together peddling drugs (5). in this hypothetical world where he isn’t a doctor, max could possibly still work with robin, but it’s unlikely. but the thing is, to me drugs could be a reason he stayed a doctor, not a reason he became one. if that really was why, he might go be a pharmacist or those people that make the drugs or something, not a doctor.

number 2: money. while being a doctor does make plenty of money, there are other higher paying jobs (al iby/marty woodshaft—i’m saying lawyer) out there that aren’t nearly as grueling. personally i get woozy at the slightest amount of gore, and i can’t imagine that what he’s seen is normal since he’s some weird weird jack-of-all-trades-definitely-not-master-of-any doctor. i mean he has limits at unhygienic hands (10). the fact that he can’t handle dirty hands just shows that he probably wasn’t all that cut out to be a doctor. honestly, money is definitely a factor in becoming a doctor for him, but it doesn’t exactly seem like he was looking for high paying positions and “doctor” was the first thing to show up. i believe money had something to do with him being a doctor, but it isn’t the primary reason, even if he says otherwise.

so. those are the main reasons. my brain hurty no more thinky. so his reasons to be a doctor all aren’t super solid. honestly if he really wanted free drugs i don’t think he’d become a doctor for it. like, do you know how much work that is?

ah, well he wouldn’t. this dude didn’t become a doctor through hard work, he just slept with the right people (9). that explains his lack of qualifications. like he has to look up stuff that he should know (7) and doesn’t use proper equipment for medical procedures (6), it’s a wonder how he’s only gotten into trouble with the law a few times (from my memory it’s like once but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was higher).

but that’s how, not why.

so, to recap: max doesn’t care about his patients or his job and only got here through being an absolute manwhore. good for him. i’ve tried to think of answers to why he became a doctor, but the question still remains: why is max harm a doctor?

well, it’s time for me to do what i do second best: bullshit together a backstory and hope i can explain it well enough so that you accept it into your canon.

so. why do most doctors become doctors besides helping people since we’ve established max doesn’t care? parental pressure! yeah we’re going there!

i firmly believe that max harm had parents (🤯) with high expectations for him. he was kinda wealthy i guess—maybe like middle class? i’m bad at class systems. he was not poor, but also not rich. parents stingy and occasionally speak of money issues, but they weren’t like dirt poor. either way, he could a bit comfortably, by our standards at least. they wanted him to be successful more than anything. they only wanted to see their baby boy be happy, but the way they enforced it wasn’t awesome. just the classic strict parents who don’t understand that friendship is magic and that grades aren’t everything. they pushed him to be a doctor pretty hard. like, really hard. they were super hard on him about grades n school, trying to force him into a million different things all at once. insert pressure and intense fear of disappointment here. they instilled the idea that max had to get good grades, or else they’ll be like super mega disappointed, and max was desperate for their validation.

switching gears kinda not really: in my eyes, max was a bit of a jock. just take this as me using tropes for characters that i think fit them. so dumb sport boy max harm it is.

so max did sports, and he was pretty good at it! it was one of the few things he liked doing. it was a nice respite from school and stuff. but he was failing pretty hard in sciences and stuff. you know, just stuff that’s important to being a doctor. the career choice his parents were pushing him to be. it stressed him out a completely normal amount: failing. he practically studied his ass off trying to pass, but he couldn’t. and his parents were getting pissy and if his grades dropped any more he couldn’t play anymore and it was all stressing him the fuck out so he was going to march his way down to that teacher, get on his knees, and beg for a higher grade. and get on his knees he did.

(this is the part i gave a trigger warning for)

so his teacher said that they would pass max in exchange for sex. max is fairly attractive (he sleeps around a lot as an adult + he’s played by cam, who like 90% of the fanbase lusts for) and the teacher saw this as a great opportunity to get laid, rules be damned. and…cmon. how could he ever face his parents again with a failing grade? there’s no fucking way he could do that. and what about the sports team, his friends, the one thing is this goddamned school he likes? he had to do it. there was no other choice. he was backed into a corner.

but “oh, couldn’t he just leave? report that teacher to the authorities?” i hear you ask. to that i say…the hell do you think would happen? when male students and teachers have such relations, they’re usually applauded instead of taken seriously. max would be “lucky”, not someone who was taken advantage of. i mean, this exact situation is an incredibly popular porn genre. he wouldn’t be taken seriously. and didn’t i mention the intense fear of disappointment? poor boy was too scared to go home without that 65% or more. he didn’t feel like he had a choice. he was backed into a corner. he was backed into a corner.

after that was all done with, max just felt…empty? there was this growing void in him, and he was scared of it. he had to fill it somehow. so, more sex it is! i feel like hypersexuality describes it, but i don’t want to misuse that term unintentionally. you get what im getting at though, right? he hooked up with more and more people, as both a coping mechanism to deal with the void, and in some way…regulate what happened to him. sex is normal, this happens to everyone. it’s fine. it’s also a distractor. when left alone max starts thinking, and when he starts thinking his mind goes to dark places. digs up things that should never resurface. things that he never wanted to resurface. this keeps his mind off of it. never really works though, does it?

so…with that out of the way…let’s get to how max got his job!

medical school, it’s medical school. i fully believe he did go (because i don’t think sleeping with a hospital ceo would get you a medical license), and max used the same tactic he used for that one teacher all those years ago. he slept around like crazy, absolute who—i probably shouldn’t call him that anymore. either way, he’s a doctor now. a shitty excuse for a doctor that never did any real work with a black hole where his heart should be. poor thing.

he still does it as a doctor btw, sleeping with patients (8). in some twisted way, he has the upper hand now. he has all the power, all the control. the control he was denied so many years ago. now he has the upper hand. now he has power.

so…what did i just say? max got coerced into having sex with his teacher in hs, causing intense feelings of emptiness. he began having more sex because he thought it would help with it (it didn’t), and it continued on through med school and all throughout his career. oh, speaking of his career! what do his parents think of him now?

well, they don’t know shit. they don’t know anything. they don’t know. they know max has been acting a bit weird, but they ignore it since he’s been improving in school so much! they don’t know.

and after he became a doctor? oh, they were so proud. but honestly? they just take money from him every now and then. sometimes, it seems like they just think of max as a wallet. so he thinks of others as a wallet. it’s all very human.

don’t get me wrong, i think max still talks to his parents. he can’t hate them. he can’t, no matter how hard he tries. it’s horrible, i guess. he still talks to them, still has an ok relationship with them, only because it’s expected of him. he’d drop them in a nursing home if he could.

so…tldr? i should stop calling max a whore. also max only became a doctor bc his parents forced him, a teacher forced max to sleep with him which led to a whole slew of problems, and now he’s a doctor? i don’t even know what to say. how will this affect the economy??

also, as a final note i’m sorry if this was inaccurate. i tried to do research and stuff, but i haven’t really experienced something exactly like this before so i can’t make this 100% accurate. im sorry for any and all inaccuracies.

1. https://youtu.be/TINR2rOep1A?si=erv0mYRJXs07OWFd

2. https://youtube.com/shorts/vpNyGvJZ2f4?si=BuoFfgfo4aGG3eKg

3. https://youtube.com/shorts/g4iz3LfJ1jo?si=Wci-R4G15nmZ6asH

4. https://youtube.com/shorts/We-3L1NAtlQ?si=mMIzLs1WYaFhcR8r

5. https://youtu.be/QjB321d1ScA?si=0OOLsev0NjtCJiji

6. https://youtu.be/f5ZAcKClhKk?si=n6FCBa5Q6ua7GjLb

7. https://youtube.com/shorts/Zu-3UA5oJpI?si=7rHj8DL11L1wpifA

8. https://youtube.com/shorts/05vcp2i7tZA?si=Rj1ua_Jzdr1wFZ2u

9. https://youtube.com/shorts/obIhonJcQzo?si=Vkn-0Xx7zq_k3GKH

dude. dude. max harm