Jan 24, 2022
hey lovelies, just wanna say i’ve changed my pronouns to they/them. it’s a big step for me but i feel safe in this community so i’m confident enough for this. i love you guys sm!!
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hey lovelies, just wanna say i’ve changed my pronouns to they/them. it’s a big step for me but i feel safe in this community so i’m confident enough for this. i love you guys sm!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sorry it's been a while. Me and Matt were and still are having some... Alone time. Sorry if we are gone a while again. He knows how I feel now so nothing stopping us. For a minute his heart failed. And I was all like
;)
Remember this gif? Well it's how I feel. Matt has woken up. He's fully responsive but I am as yet to tell him of my feelings. He'll be on the account soon, hopefully.
No rest for the wicked...
Or the lonely. I can’t sleep. So much on my mind.
I’ve told you about Matt. How I cut him loose because he wasn’t making an effort. About a week ago I got a message from him telling me he missed me and thought about me. I guess he didn’t realise what he had until it was gone.
Or so you’d think. Despite missing me still no effort is being made.
Matt is the least of my worries in all fairness. I am wondering why I bother with men at all. I think I need a break to concentrate on all the other things currently going on in my life.
Here’s the question I’d like an answer to; Why is it that I need to have the attention of a man to keep me happy?
03/02/2015 5:08 am
It's over.
I told Matt I couldn't do it any more. I will update you with more soon. Back on the market!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Matt. NYE.
So...I haven't updated you on New Year's Eve with Matt have I? Well, maybe that's because I was unimpressed. Maybe it's because I don't want to admit that this is going nowhere. Matt is not good in bed. I don't think it was nerves. I just simply think it's lack of experience...or he just doesn't give a shit. It was like being a teenager again. You know, when you don't really know what you're doing and all guys want is to grab your boobs then stick it in?? You might laugh but believe me...that's what it was like. Not good. The funniest and most entertaining part of the night was me laughing at myself falling out of bed. Stone cold sober. Don't think he realised. So why on earth am I continuing the pursue this? Why have I made an agreement to see him again? Why am I constantly worrying that he's pursuing other women? Why do I care? What's my conclusion? Concentrate less on what they are thinking and feeling. Care less about peoples opinion of me. Care more about myself, what I want and what I am feeling. Me. That's the word of 2015! ME!!
Trust.
I don’t trust Matt. I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. We aren’t even exclusively together so there’s no need for trust yet…is there?
I’ve had such a shitty experience with men so far. Some of it I brought on myself and some of it I didn’t. Regardless, I know what people are capable of and that’s the bit that scares me.
Matt is a younger and good looking man. Why on earth would he settle for me? I’m sure he could do better.
Why can’t I get these thoughts out of my head?
I will talk to him later on when I’ve had a few drinks. I’m spending new year with him.
31/01/2014
Matt. Date 3.
Matt and I went out for some food tonight. Things are going well. He's very keen and he seems to really like my company. He always texts after a date to tell me he's had a good time and he can't wait to see me again. Tonight I would have liked him to offer to pay. I paid half. More than half actually. I'm a bit old fashioned sometimes. Nobody is perfect. He asked me what my plans were for new year. I'm not busy, so he asked if I wanted to spend it with him. I'm absolutely going to do that. Maybe if things continue to go well I could end next year with him too. Now there's a thought.