#masterbook

In another exercise in grabbing every possible license in hopes it will yield a hit RPG, this is The World of Tank Girl (1995). It hit shelves in February. The film came out at the end of March and, er, tanked. The books stayed on shelves. They are probably still there.

I saw the movie in 1995 and it was pretty bad. Wikipedia tells me that it eventually became a cult sensation. Wikipedia also told me, “A ‘naked Ripper suit’ incorporating a prosthetic penis was created for Booga and used in a filmed postcoital scene which was removed from the final version of the film at the studio's insistence.” I don’t think I wanted to know that fact, but it illustrates the fact you could tell back in ’95 that the studio hacked the hell out of movie because they didn’t understand it. You can also tell that it probably influenced a lot of stuff that’s come since. It surprises me zero percent that Margot Robbie optioned the rights for a reboot.

You thought it couldn’t get more preposterous, but you were wrong. This is The World of Species (1995). When I learned this existed I was like, “Oh, yea, I this is exactly what the feed needs in 2025, it’ll be a hoot.” Ladies and gentlemen, it was not a hoot. The book is 144 pages and I cannot imagine engaging with the film Species to the extent that I would be able to write it. Frankly, I can’t imagine engaging with the RPG to the extent that I can write this post, but I will give it a shot.

So, this takes place after the events of the film. Whatever the agency is that made Natasha Henstridge knows that she survived. Another government is also close to making their own Natasha Henstridge. So in order to effectively hunt down her and her presumed offspring, the agency has used Natasha Henstridge DNA to genetically alter its agents. Presumably they are more effective at keeping their clothes on. I still get the feeling that this was not just a bad idea, but a deeply stupid one. I refuse to read the lore about the aliens who sent the Henstridge DNA to earth and what their scheme involving unlimited fuel and genetic super-predators is, but I bet making more genetic super-predators is playing into their hands! Wild thing? As stupid as all this sounds, it’s actually better than the actual plot of Species II, which is set in space. Even Leprechaun waited until the fourth movie to go to space. Fuck.

The World of Necroscope (1995) is one of many licensed properties picked up by West End for the MasterBook game (the big get was Indiana Jones, but I don’t own a copy of that). I dunno if I would call Necroscope a big get, but it isn’t a small one — the whole series is like 17 books long and the run has at least one best-seller.

I don’t think I would call Lumley a good writer, but based on Burrowers Beneath, he is an enthusiastic one. Excitable, perhaps. To wit: the Necroscope series tells of the war between psychics (primarily Harry Keogh, the titular necroscope, who can politely chat with the dead) and vampires (parasitic leeches from another planet, grown from fungal spores). In the mix is E-Branch, the secret psychic/supernaturalism bureau of the UK government, perhaps some Russian scientists and a sentient time travel device? I’m not sure. I do know that after five books, Harry brings about the nuking of Vampire World and his consciousness is sent out and attaches to other people (to fuel the next 12 novels) while his own vampire fungus-infected corpse is sent back through time…to infect the first vampire? I would have thrown that novel across the room, I think.

Ahhh, Masterbook! West End Games’ ill-fated attempt at a universal system. For some reason, they decided to build it using the mechanical framework of Torg (dead, slightly complicated) instead of Star Wars (alive, very popular, simple). And instead of just using the Torg system as is, (cinematic, flexible), they kept tinkering with it until it was more complicated and less exciting. Weird!

This is The World of Bloodshadows (1994) box set, which contains a copy of the Masterbook rules, the Bloodshadows setting book, two d10s and the drama deck (which is used throughout the game to alter the proceedings in surprising ways). It’s sort of the inverse of the World of Darkness, in that the supernatural is obviously co-existing with a hard-boiled humanity (at least in the cities; you don’t want to risk the wilderness). Niche reference, but it reminds me a lot of the HBO movie Cast a Deadly Spell (1991). Have I never mentioned my love of this film here before? Fred Ward as a hard-boiled PI named Lovecraft, who, in a world where everyone uses magic, he refuses to do so. Fun stuff, check it out.

I would play this game. I would probably roll it back to Torg-like rules, or just use WEG 2.0’s later D6 conversion or the current Savage Worlds version. The setting is exciting! Humanity, trapped in walled city-states, embroiled in the metaphysical war between order and chaos; when you think about it, Bloodshadows is really just manifesting all the theming in a hard-boiled detective story as tangible actors in the world. It’s brilliant!

If World of Necroscope was West End Games reaching for Vampire: The Masquerade, World of Tales from the Crypt (1996) was a desperate grab at Chill (a game whose second incarnation was dead for several years at this point). Now, don’t get me wrong, I think there is a place for a game specializing in single-serve generic horror. Monster of the Week proves it, and even leaves room for addition types of horror. I even think that campy is a solid vibe to go for; Chill had a plethora of problems, but the game worked better with scenarios that lean toward the silly.

The problem is that I think Tales from the Crypt is corny, rather than campy. And you just know the whole rulebook is written in the Cryptkeeper’s voice and full of play-on-words “humor” that in a million years isn’t going to translate to laughs at the table. The show always struck me as pretty cynical, too, leveraging lurid B-movie standards like over the top gore and gratuitous nudity, but lacking the earnestness that underpins most low budget horror. Combined, these two issues leave me not knowing what to do with a Tales-based RPG.