the piece that has been two years in the making, my pride and joy, she's finally here. it has gone through so much editing and beta readers (shout out to my BFFs and moots you know who you are)
she's so long that i need to split her into chapters.
Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader
Tags: pre idol debut to idol au, christmas and new years time line, slice of life moments, college student reader, substantial plot leading to smut, very dialogue heavy, angsty moments, slow burn, relationship struggle, lovers to exes to lovers
Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.
Word Count: current: 21k+ final: 110k+
Summary: Mark has always dreamed of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lay with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling y/n that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, fearing losing what they have.
warnings are under the tab.
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chapter 1: dreams and all 6.1k+ words
chapter 2: an angel and her devil(ed egg) 2k+ words
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Warnings: unprotected sex, car sex, strong language
word count: 1.5k +
I exited the grand gates of my high school and waved a bye to my best friend hurriedly as I put my bag above my head from the heavy downpour. I smiled when I saw my Uncle’s car parked right next to a tree. He wasn’t really my uncle because we weren’t blood related. But that man was my neighbour and my dad’s really close friend since high school. He was like my dad’s brother and I preferred calling him uncle.
But as I approached the sky with my wet shoes, a new face greeted me. Mark Lee. Uncle Lee’s one and only son. He flashed me a grin and quickly opened the car door. “Come on, you don’t wanna get wet.”
He smirked and I sat next to him in confusion.
My mom had gone to London for some work and my dad had to visit his side of the family because my great grandmother had died. Father didn’t want me to skip school so he thought that Uncle Lee could drop and pick me from school because I hadn’t opted for the school bus.
Mark Lee, I had known this guy since 2016, when we first moved in this city. He was two years older than me and currently attending college. We weren’t exactly friends because there was obviously some kind of feeling involved.
I had kissed Mark Lee once in a Halloween Party but we both never talked about it but there were times when I would go for meals at his place or he would come to mine and we would share glances and make eye contacts which were definitely not in a friendly way.
I placed my bag near my legs and looked towards him as he drove, his pale and veiny hands were grabbing the wheel and his eyes were straight ahead on the road.
I fixed my uniform and checked if it was soaked by the rain from anywhere, but thankfully it was not. “I thought you had college.” I mumbled looking at the dark clouds above.
“I did, but the classes for the rest of the day got cancelled and Dad had some errands to run so he told me to pick you up,”His soft voice reached my ears and it felt like my face was on fire.
What’s happening?
“Are you alright? Your face is all red.” He asked,
Wow, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Markie.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I smiled and looked outside the window again.
Mark on the other hand, knew the effect he had on the girl beside her. The way she was biting her lip and clenching her thighs explained it all. He felt a tent in his pants when he saw her take out a lollipop and suck on it.
“Only if she sucked my dick like that.” He didn’t realise that he said it out loud and she looked in his direction.
I popped the watermelon lollipop out of my mouth and looked at the brunette beside me with widened eyes. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” He said in a panicky voice and didn’t dare lock his eyes with mine.
A dark look took over my features. “No, you said something.” I popped the lolipop back in.
Mark couldn’t handle it. The sight of her pale and soft looking thighs made him so horny. The way her short skirt was lifted up, some part of her ass was visible and he was tempted to touch her in places no one had ever touched before.
He knew this was his chance. He had to tell her, the worse that could happen was she could reject him, slap him, call him a pedophile and get out from the car. I can explain that to my father, right?
Without replying to my question, Mark pulled over near an alley that was only minutes away from our houses. I saw him look towards me with an intense gaze and I felt my pussy dripping with arousal.
He grabbed my arm and with one swift motion, I was straddling his lap. I looked at him awkwardly with the lollipop in my mouth. It had been in my mouth for long now and I felt my watermelon flavoured saliva drip down from my mouth and onto his jeans.
He opened the dashboard of his Dad’s car and took out some tissues. He grabbed the stick of my lolipop from my mouth and wrapped it in the tissue and kept it back in the dashboard.
“Hey!” I screamed, that was my last one and now I had to go and buy some more today.
“Suck my lolipop, instead.”
I almost laughed at that but when then I felt his lips brushing against mine, I forgot about everything.
Mark could taste the faint watermelon when he kissed her and it drove him crazy. The girl wrapped her arms around his neck and put pressure on his nape and pulled him more to her.
Then he felt her hands going in his hair and touching the erogenous zones of his scalp which made him release a soft moan.
I smiled through the kiss when I realised I made him moan, I was proud I made The Mark Lee moan. A handsome and attractive man, I bet women from his college would be begging to be in my place right now. Mark was actually a nerd, but not a boring one. A chill and hot and sexy one.
Then I felt Mark’s tender hands grope my thighs. He started rubbing them.
Mark on the other hand worked his way through the clasp of the girl’s checked skirt and slid it down her legs. He grunted when he pressed his fingers onto her underwear and saw it soaked with wetness. “You’re damp as fuck.”
I moaned when I felt him rubbing my clothed clit with his fingers that I couldn’t help but grind on him for friction. I felt hot, he felt hot.
The thrill of getting fucked by Mark Lee in the car of an unknown alley while it was raining heavily just increased the heat in me. I was tempted to touch him so I unbuttoned his shirt and he stopped rubbing me for a second to get rid of his shirt. I looked down and grazed my hands all over his torso as I pressed kisses on his jaw as he softly moaned.
His one hand was still pressed to my clit and the other came up to remove my school blazer and shirt. When I felt his eyes dreamily staring at my boobs, I got the hint that he didn’t want to stop rubbing me just so he could get rid of the bra. So I unclasped it myself and shoved his face in between.
Me moaning just encouraged him to change his tender and gentle kisses on my nub to harsh and rough licks and sucks. The pressure in my lower clit rose and a knot formed in my stomach. I was about to cum but I didn’t want to when his fingers weren’t even in me and my panties were in the way.
I buried my face in his neck and mumbled, “Y-Your fingers nghh, i-in me, Markie.”
Mark paused his movements and put his hands on my hair, patting me gently. “Little princess wants Markie’s fingers in her tight and wet pussy, hm?” He asked me tenderly. I nodded against his jaw but I felt a pull in my hair and I was yanked back only to face Mark. I got scared when he growled, his voice not so tender anymore. “Well then, fucking ask for it nicely.”
I was desperate. Instead of an innocent looking boy with high grades who always helped his friends, a horny and lust-filled man looked back at me. He had a red flush on his cheeks, his hair were messed up, his hands were resting on either sides of my waist and also, he was naked. The sight itself was enough for me to come undone. “Fuck me with your fingers, Mark.” I emphasised his name and he slid my panties down aggressively.
He inserted one finger in me and then eventually one turned into two as I released a little cry when his small nails pumped left and right in me. Not wanting him to wait for long, I too started stroking his hard rock dick as he thrusted against me. Mark fiddled with his belt and pushed his pants down along with his boxers as they rested on his knees while I sat on his bare and muscular thighs.
Before I could cum, I humped on him and he screamed loudly, still shocked by my immediate action. His dick was in me. I rode him as he released uncontrollable moans while my palm was pressed flat against the car window. The sounds of heavy breathing, moans and skin slapping resonated in the car.
I grabbed Mark’s mouth and pressed my lips against his. I felt the tip of his tongue on my lower lip and I opened my mouth wider. I felt tingles all over my body when his tongue wrapped and lolled around mine. We both were close and I increased my speed but just before we could reach our orgasm, a phone called interrupted us and Mark rolled his eyes in displeasure.
I sighed and reached for my bag, unzipping it and taking my vibrating and loud phone out. My eyes almost came out of their sockets when saw I it was my Dad who called me. I showed the contact to Mark and he raised his brow which indicated, ‘You’re done’.
How helpful.
I cleared my throat and swiped the green button that connected me to my Dad and put it on speaker.
“Y/N! Sweetie, how are you?” He asked me with concern.
“Yes, I’m fine. How is everyone holding up there?”
“Well, they are still recovering through the grief. But I guess they’ll come around. Also, Hyunwoo told me he couldn’t pick you from school today so he told his son, Mark.”
“Yes, we are reaching home.” I lied.
“That’s nice. Mark is a very sincere child, unlike other children his age.”
“Yes, very sincere.” I grazed his well defined abs with my finger nails.
Something lighted up in Mark’s mind. He had the best revenge against her for making him just scream when she pushed his dick in her.
You saw how Mark’s mouth reached closer to your glistening, wet pussy as he grazed the folds with his tongue. He started eating you out, not caring about the danger he was putting you in. You released a sound but immediately clasped your hand on your mouth, so that your father couldn’t hear you.
“Y/N! Is everything okay? Did you get injured?”
“No, nghh.”
“Well um okay, I called you to tell you that I won’t be able to come home today as I promised. It might take two more days. My family needs me. Hyunwoo said he’ll take care of you with his wife and if they’re not available, Mark will be there. He is lovely child, don’t bother him and Uncle Lee too much okay, sweetie?”
“Really? You’re not uhh coming for t-two more days?!” I said with excitement but realised soon. “Really? Two more days! I will miss you but what you’re doing is right. So I’ll s-stay h-here like a good girl.”
“Very well. And are you sure you’re okay? Your voice is coming so…restrained?”
I felt Mark smirk against my thighs, sending vibrations through my organs. His hair tickled my inner thigh and his very minute and tiny stubble kneaded against the soft skin of my clit.
My voice wavered but I still formed an excuse. “Oh? Might be the r-rain. Network connections, ya know? Okay, Dad we are a-almost home. I’ll talk to you later. Byeee.”
“Bye, sweetie. Take care.”
I quickly hung up and threw the phone on the passenger seat and that’s when Mark looked up, licking his lips that were wet with my arousal. “What the fuck was that?”
“Now, now. Not like you didn’t like it, sweetie,” He mocked me in my Dad’s voice and I could do nothing but give him an angry look. “Let’s take this to your house. I’m the one who’s going to take care of you for two days anyways,” His fingers gently grazed my lower stomach and I felt a drop in my pussy. “I’m the one who’s gonna tuck you to bed now and you will sleep when I tell you. You will obey like the good little daddy’s girl you are.”
skin slapping filled the room as mark, rutted his hips into theirs at a superhuman pace. wincing, moaning, and heavy breathing left the twos lips as they made the bed shake at how fast he was thrusting into them. they dug their nails into his back, their eyes completely screwed shut. “ ffuck, sir,, i’m close! “ they yelped, hearing their statement, he began to slow down, rutting deeper inside of their walls and hitting every spot. everything turned white as they cummed, laying their head on the back of the bed as mark pulled out, laying beside them. “ i love you. “
hi, this was written at 4 am and not proof read at all so uh-
Today is Saturday, you wake up to see that Mark is not sleeping beside you anymore. You immediately know that it is past 10am since Mark went out before that. You slowly wake up and get yourself wash up. You prepare breakfast for yourself too, simply just toast and strawberry jam, a very simple meal.
You then walk to the living room and lie down on the couch, feeling so bored as normally Mark would be at home to accompany you but today he have schedule to prepare got the upcoming comeback. You turned on the television and watch for about 1 and a half hour of movie. You started feeling really exhausted hence you scroll your social media for a while and suddenly you saw a really stunning and attractive dress, before you even press the 'buy' button. You are reminded of all the old clothes that are still pile up on your cabinet that you always procrastinate to clean up. You quickly get up and rush to your cabinet to clear out all the old clothes so you could purchase the new dress.
"Wow.. I should have thought about it seriously before i purchase clothes the next time." You thought to yourself seeing the unbelievable sight in front of you. Piles of clothes that are sitting there collecting dust. You started arranging by taking a big plastic bag so to throw off the clothes that are either too small or torn. It was already almost 3pm and you are not even tidying up half of the clothes. Suddenly, you found your high school uniform. You felt so mesmerised about it as all the old memories came flowing through your mind. You look around and decided to try it on since Mark might not be coming home so early.
However, at this timing, Mark was already outside of the house. One hand full of your favourite dessert, cake and another hand holding onto a bouquet of roses. It was a surprise for you hence he came into the house quietly. He slowly unlock the main door and slowly closes them too, refraining even the slightest sound of noise. He thought you would be at the living room watching movie but you are not there. Mark went to the dinning room and puts down the bouquet and the dessert. Hence he slowly head to the bedroom, he open the door slowly so he could peek inside to see if you are in there and he saw you standing in front of the mirror with your high school uniform. His mouth wide open and he push the door.
There was a bang sound hence you are startled about it and turn around to see what happen. You saw Mark standing there looking at you in a shock face. You then reminded of yourself wearing the uniform and you decided to walk over to him. You then put your hand on his chest and slowly move it around. You could already hear Mark's breathing becoming harder and harder. Mark then push you to the bed which you totally unexpected.
"You seduce me first uh?" Mark said while taking off his clothes and unbutton his pants.
"What are you going to do to me then?" You replied while unbuttoning a few buttons of your blouse.
Mark shake his head and said, "Of course you have to be punished, you are under age." Then he bent down and kisses you. He then move his hand down immediately to your panties and pull it down. Pushing one of his fingers in and out of you while sucking on to your nipples. Then he insert one more finger into you and you moan his name continuously.
"M..Mark, i'm reaching..." You said.
Mark then take off his underwear and pushed inside of you. Your back arched and your stomach lurched. Mark then bent down and are breathing heavily in your ear while he is pushing in and out. He hesitated but started to slowly pull in and out. You kept on moaning with Mark's face beside you. His breathing was low and his hot breathe sent shivers down you spine.
"God... Fuck this..." He cursed in your ear. You tried to control your breathing but he kept on hitting the right spot over and over again. His hand then move down circling his fingers on you. Your climaxing orgams was sent through the roof. He laid his body on yours as you start to shake.
"I'm soon.. almost there.." He moaned into your ears. His hot breathe kept hitting your neck. Then he thrust faster and faster and finally stop. You felt his member twitch in me and his hot liquid inside of you. He then totally relaxed and lay on top of you, you hug him while both of you are trying to recover from the heavy breathing.
Then he roll beside you and said, "Why are you wearing that?" Finally he get curious about it.
"Don't misunderstand, i was just trying, who knows you came in at a right time." You joke
"Wow, it's totally a surprise for me. I got your favourite dessert too and your favourite roses."
"Aww really? Thank you" You turn around and buried yourself into his chest while he hug you tightly.
Request : I'd like to request a scenario with Mark where he meets by chance his young love? and make it smut if possible?
Genre : Smut & Angst
Length : 4 818 words
Warning : Contains love/hate sex, rough sex and strong language.
Description : After a hard break with Mark and 4 years of absence you finally come back to your old town. What will happen then...?
A lot of memories came back to you instantly as you walked through the door of your childhood house. You hoped to see your parents again, sitting on the sofa, arms in each other's arms, but the harsh reality had hit you so hard when you realized the coldness of the place. Your parents weren’t here anymore, living separately from each other now, and you had to take care of selling that house which was once yours. You never imagined that being a real estate agent one day you would sell your parent’s house the day they would divorce.
You walked around the house, each room reminding you a part of your past. As you entered your teenage room you realized that nothing had changed. Your parents didn’t touch anything since the time you had argued with Mark and left to move in town. The lamp you had thrown that day was still on the floor, pieces of glass scattered around it. You remember rushing to get some suitcases and taking your most important stuffs, not wishing to stay here any longer. Mark behind you begged you to stay, melting into apologies but you weren’t listening, just acting like the stubborn teenage girl you were. Even though your decision turned out to be the right one in the end, you were able to do the studies you had dreamed of and find a job that suits you perfectly.
But still you couldn’t help but wonder what Mark had become during these four long years. When you were together he was the kind of person to live from day to day, never thinking about the future.
“Y/N? Are you upstairs?” you heard the voice of your colleague calling you from downstairs.
“Yes, I’m coming” you said as you were going down the stairs quickly, not wanting him to discover this part of your youth. He looked at the living-room with a curious eye, his hands in the pockets of his suit.
“Your parents were really serious when they said they had almost nothing to bring back, why? Don’t they want to keep the sofa, or even the TV?” he looked at the almost never used TV and then looked at you.
“Well, they had quite a hard fight and they don’t want to retrieve objects belonging to the past” you walked around the sofa to gather the glass fragments that were on the floor, beside some family pictures that had been broken in an excess of violence “at least that’s what my mom told me but they both asked me to pick up some of the furniture.”
He nodded “I see, but the house will still be sell as furnished right?”
“It will Jackson, don’t worry. You can go now you know? I think I’ll stay a little more to take a look of what I will have to do during the next days.”
“Fine, I’ll wait at the hotel then but don’t stay too late okay?”
You nodded and he got out of the house, leaving you alone in this big house full of memories. You got up from your position and took off your jacket, throwing it on the dusty sofa. Heading towards the kitchen you took a few garbage bags and started picking up the pieces of glass and broken frames. You took one of the boxes you brought and put the photos in it as well as the books that were thrown to the ground. So you started putting the books on the shelf, in the boxes and the time began to pass by quickly as you were packing up.
You didn’t check the time until you heard someone knocking at the door, it had already been two hours you were here and the night had started falling outside. You got up, wondering who could come here and you saw a face that wasn’t unfamiliar to you.
“What a surprise” you exclaimed “Dorine Tuan!”
“Oh my god, Y/N! It’s so good to see you again” she took you in a warm embrace. You invited her to come in and she did it without hesitation. You didn’t expect to see the mother of your ex boyfriend but especially the one that used to be your baby-sitter you when you were little.
“So how did you know I was here?” you asked, curiously.
“Your car” she smiled and sat down “actually I thought it could be your mom but it’s even better to see you again. You became such a pretty woman.”
She was almost looking at you in admiration and you sat down, next to her “thank you, it actually feels good to see familiar faces.”
“I see you started packing” she looked around “it will feel weird to not have your parents around anymore.”
“I guess you’re right” you sighted and looked at the time a second time, finally realizing that Jackson was probably waiting for you at the hotel. You took your phone out of your bag and saw the battery had died. “I think I should go now, I’m at the hotel with a friend and he’s probably waiting for me.”
“Of course sweetie” you both got up and you pulled on your jacket, taking your car’s key “how long will you stay? I can still see you right?”
“Actually yes, I planned to stay a couple days so I can pack on everything” you got in your car and lifted down the window.
“Good then, I’ll come tomorrow” she kissed your cheek and you waved goodbye as you drove away, well, at least tried to.
Your car first made a weird sound as you were turning the key over and over “come on, don’t let me down now stupid car.” You didn’t stop trying until you saw a thick black smoke escaping from the hood of the car. When you got out of the car, Dorine was walking back to you, probably because she had seen you struggling.
“Seems like you need help” she said a smile of sympathy on her face.
“Seems so yeah” you sighed while going out of your car “can I borrow your phone?”
“There won’t be that much persons working at this hour, let me call my son” she took her cell phone out of her pocket and made you a sign to follow her home, in the house in front of yours. As she was talking to the phone you had so much questions going through your mind, why was she calling Mark?
She opened the door of her house and you were surprised that nothing had changed here. The stain on the white leather couch on which Mark had bled after a fight was still here. As well as the one on the carpet near the chimney, only God knew what you used to do on this couch when his parents weren’t here. You had as many memories in this house as in yours and you felt a little pinch in your heart as Raymond Tuan stepped forwards you, arms wide open.
“Y/N it's great to see you again, you're beautiful” he said caressing your back gently as Dorine looked at you, a broad smile stuck to her face. You had always considered them like a second family and seeing that nothing had changed gave you the feeling of going back four years earlier.
“It’s great to see you too, I see nothing has changed here.”
“You’re right” Dorine said “by the way, Mark will be here in a couple of minutes, you’ll leave soon don’t worry.”
You couldn’t help but ask the question that burned your lips “why Mark?” your question probably sounded a little rude but he was actually the last person you wanted to see right now.
“Our Mark works in a garage, at Franck's remember?” you nodded, remembering the only garage that was present in this town “He is a mechanic there.”
“Oh I see” you said, wandering in your thoughts “can I borrow the bathroom quickly?”
“Of course it’s upstairs-”
“Besides Mark’s room, I remember” you smiled and went upstairs. You weren’t really surprised to see that the horrible pink wallpaper was still there, as well as the huge mirror at the end of the corridor. You knew what was behind all the doors in this corridor and the one where Mark’s name was written on it was tempting you. Hand on the doorknob you entered the room where a lot of your teen memories were still trapped inside. You weren’t surprised to see that nothing had changed here either, it was still the room of the teenage basketball fan. What surprised you the most is that there was still this place on his wall above his bed where he hanged all of the Polaroid you both took together.
Seeing all of those pictures made you feel nostalgic, you thought he could have probably thrown them away, just like you did. But he didn’t, he even kept the frame near his bed where there was a picture of you two at the beach, hugging each other.
“Y/N sweetie, Mark is here” you heard from downstairs. You quickly got out of the room, not wanting anyone to see you and went to the living-room. Immediately your gaze landed on Mark, god he was handsome. He had always been good looking, sometimes making girls in your school jealous because he only had eyes for you. As you were coming down the stairs he turned to you, revealing his face. Your breath was stuck in your throat while you saw him smile, looking at you.
“Hey Y/N, it’s been a while” he said approaching you, ready to take you in his arms. You put your hand on his chest to prevent him from hugging you, being too uncomfortable to do it after all these years and especially after your hard break. The atmosphere was now awkward and Mark lost his smile, making you regret your movement.
“Hum let me show you my car” you finally said, breaking the silence. He follows you outside and you open your car so he can take a look. He looks very professional in the way he acts and it's strange to see him as serious and focused. You only notice now by looking at him that he’s wearing an overall and it’s making him even sexier. When he lifts his head you look away, hoping he didn’t see you.
“Okay so, I think we got a problem here” he says, wiping his hands with a greasy towel while you look at him again. His eyes pierce you and you cross your arms to avoid showing any signs of nervousness.
“Which is?” you ask, clearly irritated.
He contracts his jaw because of the way you talked but doesn’t say anything “we need to change some of the car parts and unfortunately I don’t have them here, everything is at the garage.”
You sighed, even more frustrated than before “and can’t you go find them? I really need to go.”
“Why? A boyfriend is waiting for you?” he asked in an arrogant tone, a little smirk on his face.
“No, no boyfriend and even if I had one it’s not your business anymore” you turned around, quite upset now and were heading towards your house, taking the keys from your bag.
“So what, you’re just leaving? I see you still like to run away.”
This sentence echoed in your head and you turned around so quickly that you came in front of him in just two steps “you know what Mark? Fuck you! I left that day because of you!” you were almost screaming “you cheated on me! In front of my eyes you jerk! So yes I ran away and I’ll do it until I don’t have to see your face anymore” you finished almost breathless that everything came out so suddenly. Mark’s mouth was wide open and he seemed to be confused.
“I cheated on you? How could have I done that! I loved you since we were four” he said and your heart skipped a beat.
“Look, now is not the time” you sighed “I really need my car” and as you said that a downpour suddenly fell, soaking you up to the bone. Being closer to the door of your house you rushed to enter it, inserting the key in the lock. Mark followed you immediately and you both found yourself in the living room immersed in darkness. Only the sound of drops falling on the floor echoed, making the atmosphere heavy. You took off your jacket and you felt Mark looking at you intensely.
“You- you should take off your clothes or you’ll catch a cold” you said, suddenly losing all your assurance. He started lifting up is shirt but you stopped him, putting your hands on his “go to the bathroom, I’ll try to get you dry clothes.”
“It’s not like you’ve never seen me naked” he came closer to you, his menthol breath crushing against your face.
“Just go upstairs, for the love of god” you sighed and he laughed while going upstairs. You went to your parent’s bedroom, hoping that your dad had left some of his clothes. Searching in the wardrobe you were actually surprised to see that there were quite a lot of clothes left. You took a simple black t-shirt with a pair of basketball shorts and went upstairs to leave them in front of the bathroom door. You knocked on it “I’ll leave the outfits in front of the door” you said and walked back when you heard the door opening. You turned back to see Mark only wearing his boxer shorts. Your gaze wandered all along his body, not missing a single part and you had to say, he got really muscular with the time.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, that arrogant smile glued on his face. Obviously it wasn’t possible for him not to be arrogant for more than two minutes.
“Nothing” you said and quickly turned back to change yourself in your old room. Having left your suitcase in the car, you were forced to also take clothes from your dad’s wardrobe since your mom didn’t left any clothe. You removed your soaked clothes and seeing that your bra was also ruined by the rain you removed it and put on the large hoodie you had found. Suddenly you heard the door behind you being opened and you thanked God for having had time to dress before this idiot came to violate your privacy.
You heard him laugh “your room didn’t changed a bit” he walked around the room a little before he noticed something “oh look! Even the lamp you threw at me that day is still here. So authentic” you rolled your eyes at his comments and got out of the room, the fact of the two of you being in this room again reminded you too many memories. You went to the living-room downstairs and tried turning on the lights but the fate seemed to be ruthlessness with you because the light remained off, leaving you in the darkness.
“I love cliché situations” said Mark besides you, making you sighed “are we going to make love next? Next to the chimney maybe?” when you felt his breath coming closer to your ear you quickly pulled back.
“First of all, I’ll never have sex with you ever again, you cheater and secondly we don’t even have a chimney.”
“Oh you’re right, the chimney is at my house” he smiled and sat on the sofa, looking at you “but I still don’t know why you’re calling me a cheater, I already told you I would never do that” even after four years he was still playing innocent and that was pissing you off.
“As if” you sat next to him, looking at the black screen of the television “you know, I still remember the party we had at Jaebum’s house, is he still your best friend by the way?” you curiously asked.
“Yeah, he’s working at Franck’s with me. But seriously Y/N, I don’t get why you’re talking about that party? Did something happen there?”
“Listen Mark, you don’t have to play innocent anymore okay? I am a grown woman” you rubbed your hands together to warm them up “I saw you with Jenny that day.”
He looked lost “you saw me? What did you saw exactly?”
“You entered your room, both holding each other’s hand. Don’t you remember? I even heard you” shivers of disgust traveled down your spine as you were reminding what you felt when you saw this. A feeling of betrayal and a broken heart.
“I never went to my room with her! It was Jaebum! They had sex together that night and I said he could take my room!” Mark said as he got up from the sofa, raising his voice.
“Don’t you raise that voice! And if it was Jaebum why was he wearing your basketball jacket?” you rose up your tone as well, not wanting to prove him right.
His hand ran over his face before facing you, bending to be at the height of your face “did you even looked at the name on it? He was also on the team!” that time he started yelling at you and you felt like the time had stopped around you. You were confused, did you really left him and this town just because of a misunderstanding? You could hear your heartbeat echoed in your ears as Mark kept screaming at you.
“See? You’ve always had been like that! You take conclusions too quickly without even trying to understand!” you got up to face him “you fuck me up!”
“Stop fucking screaming! What is done, is done” you started leaving but he held you by the arm, turning you back.
“You’re not going to leave like that before you’re being fucked” you felt a bunch of chills running through your body as he pushed you against the wall, crushing is lips into yours. You gasped at his violence as the kiss seemed to deepened while the tension between the two of you intensified. You pressed your hands on his chest to try to push him back but he tightened the grip he had on your hips, squeezing his fingers in it. You hissed at the sting and he finally broke down the kiss.
“Who gave you the permission to kiss me? Stupid jerk” you gave him a few hits on his chest with your fist before he stopped you.
“Oh but baby girl, I never needed a permission” he moved forward you, making you stepped back until you tripped over the sofa, falling on it. He leaned his arms on the back of the couch behind you and slipped his soft lips into your neck, making you shiver. When you felt his hands running over your naked thighs you couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling of his cold hands.
“Mark s-stop, please” you pleaded even though you knew that’s not what you wanted.
A small raspy chuckle flowed out of him “save the please for later because I won’t stay gentle” you gasped at this and when he moved back from you, you could see his dark gaze, literally devouring you. Biting your lower lip you shut your legs to rub your thighs together, the flame in your core lit up. “I know you want it too, you always liked when I was rough” his hands surrounded your thighs to lift you as he laid you on his shoulder. A moan falls from your lips as his hand came down on your ass, delivering a harsh slap. You could see him climb the stairs and then enter your teenage room, throwing you on the bed. He crawled on top of you, resting his muscular arms on both sides of your head.
“What should we do with your case now baby?” his large hands trailed down your body, running down your waist as he separated your legs, making sure he was nicely positioned between them.
“I-I really don’t think that’s a good idea” you finally said, collecting the little courage you had left.
He grunted as he began moving down on you, ghosting his plump lips over your neck “of course it is. You left me for no reason so now I’m going to wreck you, so hard, you won’t even remember your name” when he finished his sentence, his lips came to your collar bone to suck up your skin, sometimes biting you. Your hands flew up to tangle in his hair while small whimper were coming out of your mouth.
“Ah~ Mark” you moaned, pulling a little more on his hair. He swiftly grabbed both your hands with one of his, pinning them above your head while going up to your face, his lips roughly kissing yours. His hand came up to your hair and pulled them so he could deepen the kiss as his tongue sucked up yours, making you moan into his mouth.
“I forgot how sexy your moans were” he seductively whispered between your kiss. You had the feeling that your lips were on fire because of his fierce kisses; he looks at you in a way that’s making you consume. The hand that wasn’t holding your arms slid along your sensitive body until you felt him caressing your skin under your hoodie, creating a swarm of shivers as soon as you felt his cold hands against you belly. Mark’s hands are always touching you, rubbing small circles into your skin, dangerously going towards your unclothed chest. Without warning he swayed his hips forwards, grinding against your core while his fingers were stroking your breasts and brushing your nipples until they stiffen into peaks.
“M-Mark we really need to stop be-before” he grinded a second time against your core, making you wetter and stopping your sentence.
“Before what baby?” he asked, a chuckle coming out his filthy mouth. Before you could have time to finish what you were trying to say he forced his tongue into your mouth taking your breath away. He pushed away only a few seconds to remove your hoodie as he returned into your swollen lips, barely letting you breath. His tongue was burning against yours, as well as the rest of your bodies. The feeling of warmth and of well-being made you lose your mind, forgetting that what you were doing wasn’t a good idea.
“Be-before it’s too late” you barely whispered when he finally left your lips. He straightened up to pull off his t-shirt and you couldn’t look away as you watched his perfectly draw torso. You took advantage that he had let go of your hands to touch him, your limbs trembling with excitement. That smug grin of his returned as he silently watched you, half-naked and completely turned on. Your hands slipped down slowly to his belly until you reached the edge of his shorts. You started playing with the knot retaining his bottom when you started undoing it, letting the shorts slipping on his firm legs.
“It’s already too late sweetheart” Mark said, hooking his long fingers around the crotch of your panties, pulling them down. Your timidity took over and you placed your hands on his, not wanting him to see your whole body uncovered “since when are you shy?” He asked, although it didn’t really sound like a question, as he ripped your panties off of you. You whimpered when you felt the cold air hitting your wet core. His fingers travelled down your stomach to found your sex and ran two of his fingers through your dripping folds. You bit your lip holding your moans as he looks deep into your eyes.
“Why are you trying to hold back baby?” suddenly he pulls a finger into you, letting a loud moan out of your mouth. His long slender finger is going deep as his lips struck your neck; latching onto the sensitive flesh. He curls his finger inside of you and you feel your body getting hotter while he suddenly adds another one.
“No, please, Mark” you plead, not even knowing for what. You would like him to stop, you would like to stop thinking about the consequences, but nevertheless, these thoughts remain in a corner of your head. “We can’t-” you moan one more time, feeling a familiar heat growing into your stomach. Suddenly you took off his arm and pushed him away with the little strength that remained in you. You got up from the bed and headed towards the door of the room but Mark held you back, gripping your arm firmly. You kept your back turned, realizing that you were still naked.
“We are not over Y/N” he said, increasing a little more the pressure he had on your arm.
You hid your body with your hands as you turned around “stop acting like I’m yours Mark! We’re not together anymore and what we were doing is wrong, so wrong.” He clenched his jaw, probably irritated but didn’t leave your gaze, his eyes becoming darker.
“I didn’t want to be rough” he sighed, a small grin appearing on his face “but you leave me no choice baby girl” hearing the old nickname he used to gave you caused a drag of chills along your spine. Despite the anger you felt towards him you couldn’t prevent your body from reacting as he spoke again “now go back on the bed, on all fours.” His order made you widen your eyes, detailing every inches of his face to make sure he was serious.
You frowned “yeah, dream about it” you said in an arrogant tone before trying to go out again. This time he pressed you against the door, his burning torso glued to your back. His hands wandered on your hips, going down your thighs to spread them brutally. “What the-” you stopped in the middle of your sentence when you felt the tip of his member grazing up and down your sensitive slit. When did he took off his boxers? You asked yourself, your brain not really working anymore as you felt the heat growing in your body, not prepared to what was going to happen. Suddenly he grabs you by your hair to put your head on his shoulder, teeth grazing the skin of your jaw as you gasped.
“Did you lose your voice?” his hands came to your sides, pulling you onto him so brutally that you have to grab the door so you won’t fall. He automatically started fucking you with rough strokes. You cried out, trying to adjust but the size and the speed was too important for you to. He pulled a little more on your hair so you could look at him; his expression was deformed by the pleasure.
“M-Mark” you breathlessly purred as he brought his lips to yours. One of your hands slipped through his hair as you were still trying to hold yourself with the other one. Just as you were slowly adjusting to his length since he had slowed down, he picked up the pace one more time, grinding deep into you.
“God, you’re so tight” he said, breaking away from the kiss. You felt his hand slipped on yours and then interweave your fingers. This gentle gesture contrasted with his hard thrusts. Your eyes rolled back as you roughly bit your lip, you didn’t want to give him the pleasure of hearing you moan. When one of his hands came to squeeze your breast, you planted your teeth in the arm holding you against the door to remain silent. You wanted to tell him to stop, but you didn’t have the courage. He suddenly pushed his head into your neck, his fangs biting your skin strongly, sometimes sucking it, probably leaving purple marks on your skin.
“I-I can’t take it” you faintly said as his thrusts became harder, making you cry out. You couldn’t hold your moans anymore, letting small whimpers out of your mouth as you arched your back against him. Tears started gathering as your orgasm builds inside of you. He feels it, too, and increases the rhythm, pushing you, higher, harder, faster - and you surrender, exploding around him - a draining, soul-grabbing orgasm.
Not even seconds later Mark finally gave into his high, “oh my-” he groaned as he bit down on his lower lip, resting his head on your shoulder. You feel your body becoming numb and if its grip on your hips wasn’t as strong you would surely collapse.
“I-I hate you” you whimper as he moves away, letting you breathe.
“Yeah right” he sneers and bends to leave a kiss on your forehead. At that moment you know that your story is not over, in fact, it just starts.
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Mark was furious, he couldn’t help it seeing you with him was just making his stomach churn. He wants to see you happy really but he didn’t think that your current boyfriend Luhan was doing a great job of making you happy, it seems like almost every week you were running to him crying about something your boyfriend did or said to you and Mark always told you that he wasn’t good for you, but you always brushed it aside saying that he’ll stop, but does he? Nope. Mark seen you walking away to go to the bathroom so he continued to drink his drink and talk to the guys. They knew how he felt about your relationship with him but never said anything. You came out the bathroom to see your boyfriend gone.
Confused about LuhanI started walking towards Mark and the guys I sat down next to Mark I asked did he see Luhan walk out the club he shook his head I softly laughed shaking my head
“When a person says they’ll change you believe it after hundreds of times of being let down, but every time you go back because you love that person then after a while you just give up because now you know that person just care about you and your feelings”
Mark knew that I was close to crying so he pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead looking at everyone the had this look of murder on their face a few minutes had passed and I was having fun again until Luhan walked over looking like he just got finished having sex with lipstick stains on his shirt and a few hickeys on his neck
“Hey babe, ready to get going?”
He smirked and Jackson stood up along with Jaebum, Mark looked at him and if looks can kill he’d be six feet under.
“She’s not going anywhere with you Luhan. You caused enough pain I don’t know why you put her through all this when if you didn’t want to be with her anymore you could’ve just broke up with her instead of stringing her along and who does she always run to me! She deserves someone who loves her not someone who’d just put her down and make her smile that beautiful smile of hers all the time not make her cry all the time so I think it’s best for you to leave before we beat you to a pulp”
I looked at Mark and Luhan laughed
“You really think she’s gonna stay here with you Mark? She loves me! I have her wrapped around my finger I say jump she says how high. Do you think she’ll leave me? She don’t want you my brother get that through your head, C’mon Y/n we’re leaving.”
“She is sitting right here and yes I want to stay with Mark when I get home I want you gone I’m tired of trying in this- whatever this is! Luhan I gave you more than one chance to change but I’m done because it always come back to bite me in the ass! Ask the little girl can you live with her cause this ‘relationship’ is done”
Everyone looked at me but the only person I was looking at was Luhan and his reaction was satisfying because he didn’t expect for anything to come out of my mouth and to just get up and follow him, but not this time. This time is the last time I’d ever let him walk over me like so puppet and break my heart over and over again. He rolled his eyes and walked out the building not before glaring at me. Everyone looked at me and smiled at what I said they gave me a pat on the shoulder and told me I did the right thing.
“Hey Mark, can you take me home please I wanna leave”
He nodded and helped me out my seat grabbing my hand and walking out the club and to the car since he didn’t drink along with Youngjae and Yugyeom I gave him the key and slid into the passenger seat he took me home when we got there luhan things were gone Mark stayed made sure I was okay we just sat there talking and laughing just like old times we decided to watch a movie he let me picked and I picked Suicide Squad he laid his head on my lap and my hand running through his hair by the middle of the movie I started to talk
“I wish I had a relationship like Harley and Joker. No matter what they always come back together and somehow always find someway back to each other”
“Hey, don’t worry about him. That’s all in the past now just look at what’s in front of you Y/n I can treat you better than Luhan can ever treat you because in the end you deserve everything. Y/n I know this might not be the right time, but I love you and I know that you just got out a relationship and I-”
I kissed him putting his hand on my cheek I slowly pulled away
“W-what was that”
“I’ve waited for you to say that since the third year I’ve known you Mark”
He sat up and started to kiss me again straddling his lap as the kiss started to get more intense he slid his hands up and down my thighs settling on my waist pulling away again
“Are you sure you wanna do this?”
I nodded and kissed him again biting his lip he moaned I don’t remember anything that happened after that I just know that I ended up being naked and under Mark and becoming a moaning mess being that his tongue is just amazing things to my body.
“M-Mark! Please do something!”
He laid in between my legs and went straight to my clit sucking and licking like his life depended on it then started fingering me moaning and grabbing at his hair and lightly pulling it making him moan on my clit and the vibrations doing unexplainable things to me. He’s driving me crazy and I absolutely love it. I’m so close I don’t know what to do the pleasure is just getting too much for me to handle
“I-I’m close! Mark please! Make me cum”
I guess those were the words he was looking for because as soon as I said those words he let me cum and boy it was the most amazing thing ever. He sat up and looked at me making sure I was okay and still sure about wanting to do this I nodded and he kissed me and slowly slid into me making me gasp he was still making sure I was comfortable I nodded
“Mark please move please”
He started moving and he was so deep he was hitting spots that I didn’t know existed and sounds he was making was turning me on even more
“Faster please Mark!”
His hips went faster and his big cock hit deeper if that’s even possible I moaned dragging my nails down his back making him groan I kissed him again trying to contain my moans
“Don’t hold them back baby, let me hear how good I’m making you feel”
“Fuck Mark! Feel so good”
He was getting close I he started to speed up which in return made me scream his name biting at his neck leaving marks all over him feeling that I was close he started rubbing my clit
“Let’s cum together babygirl”
“Mark I’m cumming!”
He nodded and whispered sweet nothings in my ear and then came right after me he pulled out and laid next to me. He pulled me closer and kissed me softly
“I know this is backwards but would you please give me chance Y/N?
Tags: pre idol debut to idol au, christmas and new years time line, slice of life moments, college student reader, substantial plot leading to smut, very dialogue heavy, angsty moments, slow burn, relationship struggle, lovers to exes to lovers
Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.
masterlist for time lapse
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Word Count : 6.3k+
Summary: Mark has always had the dream of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lied with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling reader that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, in fear of losing what they have.
warnings are under the tab for chapters that apply.
—-
December 1, 2023
“So you have slept with him… right?” Kathy interrogates ignoring her stacks of papers.
You two were situated in the library cramming for the last exam of your undergraduate career.
“I have not,” you responded lazily while flipping through the textbook in front of you, “As I told you before, I don’t even know if I’m ready for a relationship yet.”
“It’s been almost a year y/n! Don’t let this go because of He Who Shall Not Be Named…” Kathy groans while attempting to loosen your grip on your pencil, “Seungcheol is so hot, plus he’s a gentleman!”
“I feel like those should have been reversed,” you giggle, finally setting down your things and looking at her, “But yes, he is indeed very hot.”
“Stop holding back! Bring him to the annual Christmas hangout! I’m sure seeing him with all of us will make things a bit more realistic for you. Izaiah is hosting Christmas and New Year’s again. Hopefully, we can rewrite some sour memories and replace them with some sweet ones.”
It wouldn’t be a bad idea. Seungcheol is everything that makes sense as a long-term commitment- not to mention he is someone who wants a long-term commitment with you.
“Okay fine, maybe I will bring him.”
Kathy cheered a loud burst of excitement that elicited a few shushes and glares from around you two.
“Now can we go back to finishing our work? I want to finish all my classwork before the Christmas party this weekend.”
Kathy smiles and nods in agreeance.
Kathy: He will be there this weekend, right?
Izaiah: Yes he will. Is she prepared?
Kathy: I think she will be okay 🙂
December 2, 2023
“Red or white?” you ask Seungcheol as you hold up two different dresses in your room, him lying on your bed scrolling lazily before looking up at you.
“Red, it is Christmas after all!” he smiles before continuing to scroll.
Today is the day that Seungcheol will be introduced, properly, to your friend group. As you tugged the mascara through your eyelashes you couldn’t help but wonder what you should even introduce him as.
“Hey guys! Merry Christmas! This is my friend that I don’t know if he’s more than a friend, sir-friend, Seungcheol!”
Ick. You shook your head and pulled your pajamas on. You walked out meeting Seungcheol at the door as he laced his shoes, him in matching pajamas.
He grabbed his keys and the mac and cheese from the kitchen table before meeting your anxious gaze, “Ready?”
-
The crisp winter air filled with the aroma of pine and chimney smoke greeted me as you both approached Izaiah’s house. His neighborhood was adorned with twinkling Christmas lights, and the anticipation of warmth and joy hung in the air. You two reached the doorstep and knocked on the festive wreath-adorned door.
The door creaked open, revealing Izaiah’s smiling face. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he welcomed you both inside. The cozy living room was transformed into a winter wonderland, adorned with tinsel, ornaments, and a beautifully decorated Christmas tree that stood proudly in the corner.
“It’s about time!” Izaiah exclaims while pulling you into his warm home, “I was wondering when you would show up.”
“Hi Izaiah, it really has been a while huh?”
He chuckles as you and Seungcheol shuffle in from the cold and take your shoes off. The boys share a hug and close the door.
“Yes, far too long! Congrats by the way! Finally done, welcome to the alum life!”
“I’m so happy I’m done. Now let’s just hope I don’t fall on that stage.”
Friends surround you two greeting you two with holiday cheers and introductions.
A smile creeps onto your face as Seungcheol brightens the room even further with his charisma and charm.
"Hey there! Merry Christmas!" Kathy exclaimed, giving you a warm hug. The sounds of cheerful holiday music and laughter filled the air. The room was bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights, casting a warm and inviting ambiance.
"I love what you've done with the place. It's like stepping into a Christmas dream," you say, taking in the festive atmosphere.
"Thanks! I went all out this year. Come on, let’s eat," Izaiah said, leading us through the festively decorated rooms. The fireplace crackled with a gentle warmth, casting a comforting glow over the room.
In the kitchen, the scent of freshly baked cookies wafted through the air. A plate of gingerbread men, snowflake-shaped sugar cookies, and chocolate truffles tempted you from the counter. Kathy pointed proudly at the treats.
"I spent all morning baking. Help yourself!"
You two settled into the cozy living room, surrounded by the glow of Christmas lights. The flickering flames in the fireplace danced to the rhythm of the laughter and conversation. Festive ornaments dangled from the tree, and wrapped presents nestled beneath its branches.
As you all shared stories and caught up on each other's lives, the joy of the season was evident. Seungcheol’s energy felt like he was always a part of your little group. He was extroverted, making jokes here and there and telling crazy stories from his fraternity. Everyone loved him, and maybe you were included in that everyone? The room echoed with the warmth of friendship, and the spirit of Christmas was alive and well.
The memories of the year prior hung heavy in your heart as you saw the same curtains you hid behind as you played with the little kids. The way Mark would stand against the counter, his eyes never leaving your frame as you held a baby. You remember in that moment you wanted so badly for that baby to be yours, to be his.
Your mindless thoughts were shaken away as Seongcheol laid a lazy arm around your shoulder and gave you an ‘Are you okay’ eyebrow raise. You gave him a thumbs up before trying to settle between his arms on the couch.
A doorbell cut off Kathy retelling a story of how you both got lost during your study abroad trip in Peru.
“Terry my boy!” Kathy shrieked as she was nearing the penultimate part of the story, “Get the door!”
“I need to break the seal!” He shouts back, running towards the bathroom, “I’m going to pee myself from laughter!”
You chuckle before standing up. “I’ll get it don’t worry.”
“Actually! How about I get it!” Izaiah squeaks while standing up quickly almost racing you to the door, “I am the host after all!” he sings.
“I’m already here!” you giggle pushing him out of the way.
“Please I insist!” He chuckles uneasily, starting to shove you harder, “Go get a drink!”
“I have one I’m fine-” you shove back playfully.
“Then get me one,” he grips your shoulders tightly, “please?”
“Okay…” you eye him wearily before walking backward, “Who is late anyways? Everyone is here.”
Walking back into the living room everybody is tense. Kathy hurriedly meets you at the minibar as you pull out a glass, “So Seungcheol is assimilating in nicely I see!”
“Yeah, I guess he is…” you mumble while pouring the gin. Commotion came from the door, greeting the new face to the party.
Kathy turns your frame to face her, “I’m so glad you brought him! You two are like perfect together!”
“I don’t know if perfect is the word…” you bump into her lightly, “It’s only been like a month.”
“Well, a lot changed in a month! You’re finally all smiley after a year of Miss Grumpy, I’d say let’s cheers to that!” She raises her cup to meet yours.
“This isn’t even mine,” you chuckle before clinking glasses with her.
“Well trust me you’re going to need that shot!” She hurriedly lifted the cup to your lips and felt the liquid burn down your throat.
“That sucked!” you yelled while making a face.
“Not as much as this…” She mumbled while pouring you another.
“Woah slow down!” you laughed about to stop her, but she handed you the glass again.
“No no… you’ll need that!”
Before you could protest you heard something from behind that made you drop the glass on the floor, everyone’s head turning towards you, the silence deafening.
“Merry Christmas everyone!” the voice rasped out before turning towards the mess of a noise you made.
There he stood. Looking more amazing than ever. His hair was a light brown, not put together but gorgeously effortless. His cheeks were dusted pink, growing more red by the second as you two stood there taking each other in. The room seemed to start spinning as you took in the man you once knew so fondly.
He’s changed a lot, yet not at all. His posture was better, long gone was that slouch that used to slump over his guitar in your apartment. His style was still the same, baggy sweaters and sweatpants only this time adorned in name brands that probably cost the same as your semesterly tuition. But his hands. They gleamed in the silver jewelry, rings stacked with bracelets to match.
Your hands shook as he felt time still staring at the woman he never stopped loving. Your curves hugging your silk red pajamas, fluffy socks with small snowmen. It’s you. It’s always been you.
“y/n” he breathed out.
“Mark-” you whispered.
“Oh my God! It’s thee, Mark Lee!” You heard from across the room breaking your eye contact between you two, Mark’s unmoving.
“Dude, you are a legend!” Seungcheol said while motioning to Mark to dap him up. Mark doesn’t look away as he accepts his handshake and mumbles a small thank you.
“Babe, you never told me you know Mark Lee?” Seungcheol says while wrapping an arm around you, “The pride of our town, man, thee, Mark Lee.”
“Babe?” Mark scoffs while narrowing his eyes at Seungcheol, finally breaking eye contact to take in your two matching pajamas.
“Not official,” Seungcheol laughs before heading towards the fridge, “But don’t worry, we’ll lock that down soon,” he winks at you before turning back to Mark, “Yo bro, want a drink? I bet you have so many stories, you know, with you being famous and all.”
Mark shook the thousands of angry thoughts away from his mind and managed to shake out a stiff nod accepting the beer and taking a hefty gulp.
“Let me help you clean that,” Mark marches over to your still frozen yet shaking self.
“It’s fine.” you squeak as he kneels starting to pick the glass up with his bare hands.
“Like I’m going to have you hurt yourself…” Mark mumbles while picking the large shards.
Anger began to resurface, along with pain and hurt, “It’s fine, you already did.”
Pushing past him, you run to the bathroom to finally get some air that your lungs didn’t seem to be taking in. Sliding down the door you let the tears fall.
It’s him. It’s him. It’s him.
—
"So, Mark, how do you know y/n?” Seungcheol asked, taking a sip of his beer in the living room. He sat adjacent to Mark, your friends scattered across the room, eyeing the scene in front of them carefully.
Mark forced a smile, hiding the twinge of discomfort. "We've known each other for a few years. We’re friends. Met in grade school. We were… best friends.”
Seungcheol nodded, genuinely interested in getting to know the famous man better. "That's cool. She is a great person. What made you two so close?”
The room took in a quick gasp, Seungcheol too oblivious to notice.
Mark hesitated for a moment, carefully choosing his words. "We just crossed paths naturally, you know? Izaiah and I were friends, played basketball together, and she would always be there. She was always there.”
Seungcheol smiled, oblivious to any underlying tension from Mark’s response. “That’s crazy, dude.”
Mark nods.
“She like, never mentioned you. I always just thought it was her and Kathy as the 4lyfers.”
Mark's eyes flickered, masking the unease he felt. "Yeah, we've always been on good terms. It’s just you know… the new life as an idol and all…”
Mixed knowing looks were exchanged around the room as everybody tried to not scoff at his words.
Seungcheol had no problem talking about himself. He chatted about work, hobbies, and shared interests. Seungcheol's excitement grew, not only did he achieve another level with you today by meeting the rest of your friends, but he also met your longest best friend. He had been contemplating asking you to be his girlfriend, and he couldn't help but share his thoughts with Mark.
"You know, Mark, everyone, I've been thinking about something. Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm planning to ask y/n if she'd like to be my girlfriend. I enjoy spending time with her, and I feel like it's the right time to take things to the next level," Seungcheol confessed, a hint of nervousness in his voice.
Everyone oohed and ahhed at his confession, but everyone’s attention was on Mark.
Mark's forced smile faltered for a moment, his internal struggle evident. "That sounds like a great idea. I hope it works out for you two,” his words tasted like vinegar, his voice laced with jealousy and hurt.
Seungcheol grinned, oblivious to the conflicting emotions in Mark's mind. "Thanks, man. I appreciate your support. I'll make it special for her."
Little did Seungcheol know, the conversation had stirred a storm of resentment within Mark. As he contemplated the upcoming confession, Mark couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy and regret, concealing the complicated history between you two. The holiday season seemed to hold more than just festive cheer; it carried the weight of untold secrets and unspoken feelings.
–
You couldn’t wait in this bathroom forever. You knew that.
But why the fuck was he here?
He was supposed to be gone at least for three years. At least.
You were still trying to figure everything out with Seungcheol. And how dare he just claim you like that in front of everybody? You weren’t even ready to be in a relationship yet… right?
But why not? Why couldn’t you be?
You took more deep breaths while staring intently in the mirror trying to level yourself.
You’re fine. You’ve been fine for a long time. He’s old news, and truthfully you’re probably even older news to him.
Patting under your eyes and straightening out your clothes, you said some affirmations before tugging on the door handle.
I’m fine. It’s all good.
“There she is!” Kathy shouted while rising to her feet, and rushing over to you, “How are you doing?” she whispered while pulling you softly into a hug.
“You fucking knew didn’t you?” you sneered back with a fake smile.
“So sorry! But no way to get over it completely without ripping the bandaid off completely!” she pouts, “Plus…” she wiggled her eyebrows, “What is the best way to show your ex that you’re doing great? How about a hot new boyfriend?”
You sigh as you mull over her words… maybe Seungcheol would be a great way to rub it into Mark’s face.
“Sorry, y’all!” you present to everyone while making your way to Mark, “Just couldn’t believe my bestie boo was back after all this time!” you shove him hard as you pull him into a threatening hug, “What a Christmas miracle huh?”
“Haha…” Mark chuckled with a confused tone while returning your tight embrace taking in a deep breath of your scent, “Guess Santa came early!”
“Coal would have been just as fine…” you hum pulling away and walking towards Seungcheol and plopping right onto his awaiting lap.
“So Mark,” you start in a sickly sweet voice, “How’s Korea been treating you?”
“It’s good.” He flatly says while throwing daggers towards your happy frame sitting on a more than glee Seungcheol.
“Hmm… And being famous, how’s that?” you uninterestingly reply while playing with Seungcheol’s hair.
“It’s great. But I don’t love having to hide just to go to the store and get some snacks.”
A few laughs ricocheted off the walls from your friends.
“But you’re used to that right?” you turn to him, “Ya know, hiding?”
“Something like that,” he whispered through tight lips.
“How about being a big-time idol? What’s it like reaching your big dreams?” you make a show of jazz hands emphasizing your sarcasm.
“Not my dreams, not yet,” he sighs his eyes becoming sad.
“Always wanting more, right? Never could be satiated here right?” you felt your anger starting to bubble while you eyed down Mark.
“Woah, y/n, calm down a bit yeah? Mark has probably been through a lot to get where he is now. You gotta respect that!” Seungcheol eased into your ear trying to deescalate the palpable uneasiness from you.
“Oh no, yeah Mark has done a lot!” Izaiah chimes in cutting the tension, “Now enough catching up! Welcome back, Mark! Now let’s play some music, karaoke maybe? And let’s get this Christmas party started!”
Everyone seemed to snap out of the drama scene that was happening in front of them before finally cheering along and dispersing toward different parts of the room.
–
“Y/n,” Seuncheol cleared his throat from behind you during a game of cup pong, “I think Mark might have like a thing for you or something…”
You turned to him with frantic eyes, “No! No! No, he wouldn’t. That’s dumb. You’re dumb. He’s dumb. Why would you say something so dumb?” you quickly spew.
“I don’t know… He keeps staring at you like he wants to eat you or something…” he whispers into your ear pulling you closer, his hands wandering down your backside before landing on your rear, “I mean I don’t blame him, you are very attractive and the best girl I’ve been around in a long time, but he probably has millions of girls begging at his feet. He’s got to leave you alone.”
Mark stood at the other end of the table watching the interaction, the cup he was forced to chug about to succumb to his tight grip.
“Yeah, millions…” you whisper before aiming at one of his cups and it ultimately missing.
“You know I’ve been thinking about something, something about us…” Seungcheol says as he reracks the cups, “I was thinking about locking us down before Christmas time, how does that sound?”
Seungcheol’s words felt uncomfortable as they sat in your heart. You didn’t like having this conversation with Mark just a yard or so away. It didn’t feel genuine. It felt like a petty attempt to ward Mark away from you. A trophy to hang off his shoulder.
“What a weird thing to bring up now, hm?” you dismiss him before taking aim once again.
“Come on! We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now! I’m into you, and you are definitely into me, what’s holding you back now?”
His words deemed to be a bit too loud as Mark interrupted Seungcheol’s confession by hitting him right on the forehead with the ball.
“Whoops! Sorry dude.” Mark muses disengenuinesly.
“Watch it bro,” Seungcheol mutters tossing the ball back, “If I didn’t know any better I would have thought it was on purpose…”
“Just… get your head in the game,” you whisper to Seungcheol as you take the shot that Izaiah seemed to sink in the meantime.
Seungcheol shook his head. Shortly after, you two admitted defeat as Mark sunk the last cup on your side.
The drinks seemed too keep flowing down your throat, each drink blurring the feelings of Mark and Seungcheol. You just needed to make it through the night, after that you can deal with the mess.
As the night progresses, you start to realize that maybe you have had indulged in one too many drinks. Your laughter became louder, your movements became slower. Seungcheol starts to notice the change in your behavior, concern etching his features.
“Hey, you okay? Maybe you should slow down on the drinks a bit yeah?” He says while steadying your rocking frame.
“I’m fine, Seungcheol! It’s Christmas, the end of the semester, let’s enjoy!”
“Alright little angel, your wish is my command!” He chuckles before grabbing your hand and making his way towards the minibar.
The alcohol, however, takes its toll, and your antics became increasingly unpredictable. Everything seemed to happen so fast, you almost didn’t realize what was happening. Seungcheol accidentally bumps into someone while trying to guide you through the room. The person, annoyed, confronts Seungcheol.
“Watch where you’re going bro!” Yelled Mark as he stands up quickly and starts wiping at his now stained sweater.
“It was an accident okay, calm down big shot.” Seungcheol annoying says while pulling you forward.
“Didn’t seem like an accident,” Mark retorts while pushing Seungcheol.
“What the hell is your problem dude?” Seungcheol says while letting go of your hand to size him up.
“Absolutely nothing.” Mark seethes while getting closer. His eyes shift to your spinning inebriated frame.
“Let me just give my girl a drink Mark.”
“I think she’s actually ready to go, come on y/n” Mark replies while grabbing you before you fell to the floor.
“Dude, what the hell? Get your hands off of her, she’s fine. Izaiah, pour me two more shots! One for me and one for my graduate!” Seungcheol hollers while trying to pull your other arm.
“Woah I’m on a cruise!” You drunkenly sigh as they pull you both ways.
“Yo! Let go of her, she’s going to yak!” Mark shouts before just lifting you up to run you outside.
“I’m gonna yak!” You shout as Mark’s running had you bouncing up and down.
Mark made it just in time to Izaiah’s front yard before you started throwing your guts up.
“My-“
“Don’t worry I got your hair,” Mark coos as he gathers up your hair into a ponytail.
“You always know what to do Markie,” you sigh as you fell onto your side, hands massaging your stomach.
Seungcheol rushes outside with a water bottle in hand, knees falling to the ground to hold your head up.
“How did you know she was going to throw up?” Seungcheol asks quietly while feeding you the water slowly, “Did you two drink a lot before you left?”
“She says she’s on a cruise then she’ll throw up right after,” Mark smiles then joins you two on the floor, “Never surprised me.”
“Mark just tell me straight up.” Seungcheol clears his throat, “do you want my girl?”
“I’m not your girllll…” you slur with saliva dripping down your chin, “Stop calling me that!” You hiccup before starting to drift off into sleep.
Seungcheol sighs, “Mark, if you two are best friends, why did she never mention you? Why did she all of a sudden start acting weird when you showed up today? What is everyone not telling me? So tell me, are you in love with y/n?”
Mark finally took his eyes off of you to meet Seungcheol’s accusation, “Yes I love her. I never stopped.”
Seungcheol clicks his tongue, “I knew it, just from the way you’ve been staring at her! Look bro, just so we’re clear-“
Mark cuts him off, “No, just so we’re clear, she’s mine. She always has been. It was a mistake to leave her a year ago. But I’m back, and no matter how hard you try to come and take her from me, she’ll always know that I’m the one for her.”
“I won’t let you take y/n away from me. Now go back to Korea and keep singing your little songs. She’s moved on from you.”
Everything was still as the two stared each other down. Despite your in and out consciousness. You heard every word. He still loves you. After all this time, you had to admit you still loved him too. But he left, and soon he’ll leave again. You have to move on.
“What’s her favorite song?” Mark whispered.
“Sunday Morning, easy.” Seungcheol shrugs
Correct.
“What’s her favorite color?”
“Pastel blue.”
Correct.
“Why did she want to become an English major?”
“Because she loves to write.”
“Sure, but why does she love to write?”
“I don’t know man, she just likes to write, she’s always writing.”
“She likes to write because,” Mark sighs while staring at the sky, “she has all these thoughts in her head and she needs to let them out on paper for her to think straight. She writes because she thinks if she talks, no one will remember, and her words will outlive her. She writes not because she likes it, but because she needs to. It’s her dream to have others listen to her and feel something.”
You tried to stifle the tears in your eyes, so neither of them would notice you were awake. Mark was right. He always was, he understood you in ways that you never had to convey, he just knew.
“You’ve known her since you were kids, of course you would know that. I’ve known her for a couple months, I’m sure in time she would have told me.” Seungcheol scoffs.
“She never told me,” Mark whispers while sparring one last glance at you then brushing off his jeans, “Make sure she gets home safe, Seungcheol. She’ll want kimchi fried rice, an iced coffee, and a cut persimmon with the skin off in the morning. Take care of her for as long as she’ll let you.”
Mark leaves as Seungcheol lifts your tired frame, your eyes unable to stop the tears coming out any longer until you fell asleep on the car ride home.
—
December 9, 2023
“What do you want for Christmas?” Seungcheol asks as you two lay on the sofa at your apartment watching some cheesy Hallmark movie. You haven’t been able to move all day. Somehow the lingering feeling of a hangover lasting a week, keeping you rooted to your couch huddled in blankets.
“Ah, nothing really,” you sigh huffing as the main female protagonist kisses the lead male, “not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year.”
“What are you actually going on about?” Seungcheol laughs, “you put your Christmas tree up on November 1st. You baked snowman cookies and set up a hot cocoa bar? That is the penultimate Christmas experience!”
You blew at your bangs and rolled your eyes before turning the TV off.
“Christmas just presents unrealistic expectations and and gets people’s hopes up for nothing. So overrated.”
Seungcheol sighs then begin pacing the room, “I think you need to get out of the house. I know you got sick after the party, and although you can be quite the messy yet funny drunk, I have cleared you well enough to leave the apartment!”
Hungover is now an understatement. The mention of the Christmas party glazes over your eyes and your throat feels tight.
“I miss you, y/n.”
I miss Mark.
Hold on. What the fuck are you saying? No you don’t.
“Let’s go shopping!” Seuncheol yells while heading into your closet to find you an outfit, “head to the shower, respectfully babe, you lowkey stink.”
There’s no point in fighting him. Maybe you need some fresh air.
The mall was packed. It was buzzing with Christmas cheer, lights twinkling in every window, the smell of cinnamon and pine wafting through the air. You pull your coat tighter around her, trying to shake off the heaviness in her chest. It should’ve been the perfect day to soak in the holiday spirit, especially with Seungcheol by her side. He was grinning ear to ear, pointing out everything from festive scarves to ridiculous holiday mugs, clearly enjoying himself.
"You think you could pull off this reindeer sweater?" he teased, holding up a bright red knit with a goofy-looking reindeer plastered across it.
Y/N chuckled softly, her heart not quite in it. "You’d look way better in it," she replied, nudging him gently.
Seungcheol laughed, oblivious to the sadness clouding her thoughts. Every corner of the mall felt like a reminder of Mark. This was where they used to spend hours just loitering until they were forced to leave by security. You remembered being young and dumb teens trying different mismatched outfits and forcing each other to wear them around the rest of the day. The bright green sign of Yogurt Mountain reminding you of Mark not being able to turn off the machine ending in the frozen yogurt spilling all on the floor. The memories felt like ages ago, so nostalgic but painful. It had been a year since you two broke up, but the memories still lingered, tugging at you as you tried to shake them off.
Seungcheol’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. "Hey, let’s check out this store! I think I found the perfect gift for you," he said with excitement, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward a small boutique.
You forced a smile, wanting to be present, wanting to enjoy this moment with him. But your gaze always seemed to drift, catching a glimpse of the jewelry shop across the way. As luck would have it…
Mark.
He was there, casually browsing a display of bracelets and rings, completely unaware of your presence. His frame was unassuming, all dressed in black. His face was hidden beneath a baseball cap, the perfect disguise for an idol unwanting to be seen and regain even a fraction of normalcy. But you would recognize him anywhere. You froze, unable to pull your eyes away.
Seungcheol, still focused on the display in front of him, started talking about a delicate silver necklace he thought would look good on you, but you weren't listening. You watched as a few people started to notice Mark. Then, in an instant, everything changed. Paparazzi flooded the scene, cameras flashing, voices yelling his name.
Mark’s expression shifted from calm to panicked. Y/N could see the tension in his shoulders as the crowd pressed closer. He backed away, his hands shaking as he tried to escape the chaos. The noise seemed to blur, and all you could think was how this was the side of his life he probably hated most—the relentless pressure, the invasion of privacy.
Mark’s breaths became shallow, his eyes wide as he struggled to keep it together, and before you realized what you was doing, you had started toward him, concern overtaking you.
But Seungcheol called your name softly, pulling you back to reality. "Y/N? Are you okay? You seemed distracted." He looked at you, concern written on his face, and for a second, you considered telling him everything—about Mark, about how hard it was to shake the past.
But you didn’t. Not yet.
You glanced back toward the jewelry shop, but Mark was gone, swallowed up by the crowd. The moment passed, and you turned back to Seungcheol, offering him a soft smile.
"I’m fine," you said, trying to mean it. "Let’s keep looking."
–
Mark was not fine.
“Mark! What’s it like being home?”
“Mark! Who are you shopping for? Someone special?”
“Mark! Care to comment on rumors of you and fellow idol Miyeon dating?”
“Mark! Is it true you will be the new leader of the next subunit of NCT?”
Mark really though he could just keep his head down as he walked through the mall.
“All you need is a hat to cover your face, maybe a face mask, and you’ll be fine!” He can hear his older member, Johnny in his ears. Obviously, the terrible advice from over the phone proved to be very wrong.
It was supposed to be a quick trip—get a few Christmas gifts, maybe grab something to eat, and get out before anyone recognized him. But, of course, that was too much to ask.
It started with a couple of fans who spotted him near the jewelry store. A few whispers, a camera phone raised, and within seconds, it spiraled. The murmurs grew louder, and the crowd thickened, flashing cameras following every step.
"Mark! Over here!" someone yelled, their voice cutting through the noise.
His heart raced as the mob of paparazzi and fans surged around him, closing in too quickly. They were everywhere—voices overlapping, questions hurled at him, hands reaching out. The flashing lights blinded him, the noise overwhelming as they shouted his name, desperate for a reaction.
He tried to move away, but there was no escape. His breaths came faster, shallow and uneven, his chest tightening painfully. The world spun, and his pulse thudded in his ears, drowning out the chaos for a brief moment.
He can’t breathe.
Mark’s hands trembled as he pushed through the crowd, his vision narrowing, everything becoming a blur of faces and flashes. He needed to get out. He needed air. But every step he took, the crowd pressed in closer, suffocating him.
His legs moved on autopilot, driven by the single thought of escape. That’s when he saw it—the bright, colorful sign of a Build-A-Bear store up ahead. Without thinking, he bolted toward it, slipping through the doors and collapsing against the wall just inside, the noise of the crowd finally muffled by the glass.
The smell of soft fabrics and the sound of cheery music greeted him, a stark contrast to the madness outside. His breathing was ragged, his hands still shaking as he pressed them against his knees, trying to calm the rising panic.
One of the employees, a young girl with a Santa hat on, looked up from the counter, startled. Her eyes widened when she realized who he was, but instead of rushing over, she stayed where she was, giving him space.
Mark closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of his own heartbeat, willing it to slow down. He took a deep breath, then another, the plush toys around him oddly soothing. The calm atmosphere of the shop felt like a small bubble of peace, a stark difference to the chaos outside.
"Hey," a soft voice called from nearby. He opened his eyes to see the employee standing a few feet away, holding a small teddy bear. "I thought you might want something to hold," she said gently, offering it to him with a kind smile.
He hesitated for a moment before reaching out and taking the bear, the soft fur comforting beneath his fingertips. His breathing steadied, the tension slowly easing from his body. He sank onto a nearby bench, clutching the bear to his chest like a lifeline.
"Thank you," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, still catching his breath.
She nodded, understanding in her eyes. "Take your time," she said before quietly retreating back to the counter, leaving him in peace.
For a few minutes, Mark just sat there, cradling the bear and letting the panic subside. Outside the store, he could see the paparazzi through the glass, still waiting, still searching for him. But for now, inside the Build-A-Bear, he was safe, wrapped in a strange, quiet comfort that he desperately needed.
After some time, Mark was finally able to stand. With wobbly knees he lifted his eyes, his sweaty palms finally loosening his grip on the small bear. Taking in his surroundings, he finally realized how pathetic he felt. How alone he felt. Most of the crowd has disappeared by that point, probably escorted out by security due to the safety concerns.
“I’m sorry for the startle,” he finally spoke to the girl at the register.
“No need to apologize,” she smiled, “it can’t be easy living like this huh?” she softly says.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”
Mark felt like he needed to pace so he roamed the plush store, feeling comforted by the empty skins of the various options. In a weird way, he related to this sad, sad, shell of a bunny.
He held up it’s limp body, it’s smile sewn on, never to be changed. But it was empty.
“This is the life I chose, this is the life I will love,” he whispers holding the sagging brown bunny close.
“Do you wanna stuff it?” The girl from the register asks from behind, “they’re kind of weird when they are all sitting there sad and limp like that, but I swear they come out very cute. Great presents too!”
Mark contemplated for a moment before agreeing.
“I’ll lead you through it okay? It’s kind of weird but I am obligated to do the heart ceremony with you,” she giggles.
“Rub your heart in your hands for warmth.”
Mark closes his eyes and rubs his hands imaging warmth. The last time he felt true warmth was an embrace from you.
“Pat your heart, for your friends heart beat forever,”
Mark pats his chest while clearing his throat. Has his heart really kept beating since leaving you?
“Rub it on your head, for smart thoughts,”
Mark chuckles at the thought. His little scholar… he can imagine you with your hair up in a claw clip chewing at the tip of an apple pencil planning out your paper… his little graduate.
Fuck.
His graduate.
You graduate next week.
“I see that you have someone in mind…” the girl laughs while she picks up the bunny, “if you’re looking for a sign, I’ll say it. Yes, you should give it to her.”
Mark perks up, “do you have any graduate outfits for the bunny?”
She laughs while taking the bunny out of his hands prepping to stuff it with fluff, “slow down there mr. romantic, we will dec out this bunny in no time.”
Mark walked out 30 minutes later with two boxes and a new pep in his step.
remember when i said ‘would be posted tomorrow.’..?
... and that was like... 2 years ago? well i lied. LOL life has been rough lately but alas my pride and joy is finished.
Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader
Tags: pre idol debut to idol au, christmas and new years time line, slice of life moments, college student reader, substantial plot leading to smut, very dialogue heavy, angsty moments, slow burn, relationship struggle, lovers to exes to lovers
Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.
masterlist for time lapse
ᥫ᭡.next
Word Count : 6.1k+
Summary: Mark has always had the dream of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lied with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling reader that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, in fear of losing what they have.
warnings are under the tab for chapters that apply.
------------
“What do you think about this?” Mark asked as he sat above you strumming on his guitar. You were sitting on the floor between his legs focused on your eight-page paper.
“In a sec,” you reply while wrapping up the sentence you were on.
“Take a break…” Mark whined trying to pry the laptop from your speedy fingers.
“Mark, it’s due in two days. I will listen in a sec.”
“Mhmm.” He sulked, leaning back into the sofa and continuing his chord progression.
Days like this were stressful- due to the plethora of assignments that piled on- but soothing in a way. Your schedules never aligned this often, but Mark was so entirely enamored with you that he’d do anything to spend his free time just being with you.
“I can’t believe it’s been three hours and I only have my thesis done,” you sighed while resting your head on his knee.
“You got this,” he replies while running a hand soothingly through your hair while the other writes something down on the notepad next to him, “I believe in you.”
“Do you need anything to help you focus? Am I being too loud?” he asks while going to the kitchen and lighting your favorite candle, “I can make you a snack?”
“Do you mind getting me some fruit? I feel like I need some brain food.” You asked while cracking your knuckles and continuing to type away.
Mark nods and walks back over, handing you a cut persimmon with the skin peeled off. He always knew what you needed before even saying it out loud.
Humming in appreciation you immediately start chewing on the sliced fruit.
Eyeing him from the corner you see him looking out of your apartment window. It was raining hard outside, Mark’s favorite.
“Anything else you need to work on?” you ask. He shrugs his shoulders.
“Not much else, I want your opinion on what I have then I’ll see what I can add from there. Don’t worry though,” he turns to look at you with a small smile, “I can wait.”
Mark has always been supportive of your dreams and aspirations. It was a shock when he told you he wouldn’t be joining you at university, but rather pursuing music instead. Although an adjustment, you supported him and he rooted for you. It seemed to be working out, he passed the first two rounds of auditions for a big music company and it looked like things were finally looking up for him.
Some days you wouldn’t see him at all, and some days he picked you up from class and would stay glued to your side. He claims that he ‘soaked up inspiration from you’ hence the constant quality time and skinship. He knew you were working hard, pursuing a higher education was so important to you and your family, and he wanted to be present every step of the way.
Unbeknownst to you, Mark also had a dark cloud overlooking him just like the city in front of him. He hasn’t yet told you that he passed the third and final round of auditions for his company and would be slated to move to Korea before the end of the year to begin his training. He couldn’t bear to break the news to you, not yet. Not when you were so close to finishing one of your hardest semesters yet.
“I think I can pull you away from that screen now y/n,” he says while tugging you away from the black-and-white screen.
“Hey! I’m not finished yet! I thought you said you could wait” you pouted trying to get loose.
“You’ve been working nonstop, you aren’t being as productive anymore.” He chuckles while slotting you to the seat across from him.
“Hi.” he smiles at you.
“Hi,” you respond.
There’s a moment of silence shared between you two. The only sound was the soft pitter-patter from outside hitting the patio. Mark stares at you lovingly, you can tell something is wrong but you can’t find the words to ask him just yet, too entranced by the current hold he has on you.
“So, the song, yeah?” you finally whisper aloud.
“Hold on,” he replies, licking his lips and searching every inch of your face, memorizing this very moment to inspire him for what he’s about to play.
“What’s the holdup? Don’t get stage fright in front of me now Lee,” you lightly say while giggling.
“I, I just want to make you proud, okay?” he finally says with sad eyes.
“You always will, Mark.”
Guilt washed over Mark. Things were great, perfect even. But he just had to aspire for more. He should be satisfied with what he has now, he’s close to home, has a stable music career here in Canada, and most importantly, you. But just like you, he had the moon but he wanted every damn star in the galaxy. He didn’t want change, but nothing could satiate the hunger for something more. He was leaving, because he knew that this life, now, isn’t enough.
“Okay.” he takes a moment to gather himself, taking in some deep breaks and shaking his nerves out through his hands.
“Let’s hear it!” you shuffle sitting up straight in your chair.
Mark lets out one final breath before starting a low strum on his guitar. Flashes of memories throughout your relationship flash before his eyes. Your first snow day in Canada when you couldn’t get the ice off of your windshield, to the countless nights of watching reruns of Glee in your small shared apartment.
He hits the chorus for the first time, opening his eyes to look around the room, unable to look at you just yet. Pictures of you two littered the walls, filled with your smiling and laughing faces.
Mark mumbles small noises of nonsense to fill in the parts he doesn’t know what to put in between, sometimes trying out some lyrics at the top of his head. He shakes his head and chuckles when words don’t rhyme or quite fit, in return you share a smile enjoying him delving into his craft.
There’s something about the way that Mark can lose himself completely, in his little world and for brief moments you’re able to enter his mind, envisioning every note in a flow of synesthesia. He’s able to create color and landscape through sound, and what’s crazier is that he doesn’t even realize the extent of his art.
“And… I guess that’s it. What’d you think?” He asks as he lets out a final strum. The warmness of his music is still palpable in the room, despite the cold and dark weather that demands to be let inside.
You take another moment staring at the man in front of you. Mark bit his fingers in anticipation. His large white tee hung loosely on his shoulders, his ripped jeans bounced waiting for your feedback.
Everything is perfect.
Nothing can take this moment away from you two.
No words could exactly encapsulate how you felt so you decide to throw your arm around him.
Mark lets out a sigh of relief as he sets his guitar to the side, “So I guess you liked it?” then reciprocates by pulling you into his lap.
“I loved it, Mark. I can’t wait to hear it all together, I liked that chord progression, I can hear it on the radio one day,” you mutter into his shirt.
The pitter-patter of rain outside was accompanied by the soft whimpers from the man whose chin sat upon your head.
“I’m always going to be here for you y/n,” he jaggedly says.
You two sat in each other's embrace for what seemed like an eternity.
“Let me show you something,” he says, breaking the silence and adjusting your position to where your back is flush against him.
Mark sat the guitar in your hands, “Let’s start from the top, yeah?”
That night Mark taught you the song on his guitar, sometimes you filled in lyrics that felt right.
“They know we got the chemistry…” Mark sings.
“Love how your body feels on me, when you get back let me get that…” you finish with a small laugh.
“Yo!” he jumps up, lifting your laughing frame into the air, “That’s a bar!”
“Are you jealous that I may be a better rapper than you?” you giggle back.
“You’re coming for my career, baby girl!”
—
Six more hours.
Six more hours until this paper is due, and you’re almost done with this last page.
Six more hours until the hell that was this semester is finally done.
Six more hours until you can crawl into bed with Mark and take a long-deserved nap.
“Almost there baby,” Mark says while massaging your shoulders.
“I got this,” you say while typing furiously.
“Hell yeah, you do.”
Your train of thought was interrupted by Mark’s ringtone going off from behind you.
“I’ll be right back, when I come back you better have this paragraph done!”
Sending him a stiff salute you continued to trudge on as he stepped into your bedroom and closed the door.
“Mark! What’s going on my man? Happy holidays!” his new manager cheered into the phone.
“It’s going well, just spending some time with family and friends while I can,” he replies while lying down on your bed and grabbing a stuffed My Melody to hold against him.
“Well, I’m glad you have been enjoying your last moments of freedom while you can. Speaking of which, I do have an early Christmas present for you!”
“Awesome! What is it?”
“Well, the company wants you to start as soon as possible. I played them your audition and they think you can finish your training in less than a year!”
“That’s amazing!” Mark shoots up and runs his hands through his hair, “when do I fly out? Next year I hope?”
“Mark, I did say Christmas present didn’t I? You’ll leave the day after the 25th. I bought you some more time to spend with your family, but you’ll be spending the new year here, in Korea!”
Mark felt his heart drop. That was in two weeks.
Two weeks to eat all the food he can.
Two weeks to brush up on dancing.
Two weeks to say goodbye to his family.
Two weeks to erase all traces of his friend groups’ antics.
Two weeks till he has to leave you.
“Uh… two weeks… wow that’s really soon.”
“Absolutely! Now rest up Mark, this year is going to be the craziest experience of your life!”
His manager kept going on about the potential future he had coming for him. But Mark couldn’t seem to focus on all the newfound information. Slowly feeling the aroma of you envelop him fully, being surrounded by you everywhere, it was suffocating.
How is he going to tell you?
“I finished it!” he heard your jumps of triumph in the distance, echoing to the pits of his empty stomach, “I’m finally done with this God-awful semester! One more year till graduation!”
You burst through the door interrupting Mark’s pensive state, wrapping yourself into him.
“You okay babe?” you realize pulling away slowly, eyeing his sweating frame, “you look a bit sick, want me to make you some ramen?”
“Oh no I’m fine, just fine really,” he shallowly laughs pulling himself away from you and moving to turn on the fan, “just got a little warm is all.”
“Who called?” you asked before flopping on the bed and sighing, “was it your manager? Did you get the job?”
“Uh yeah…” he shuffled, not meeting your eyes, “It was my manager, he had some good news…”
“Oh my God, did you pass?” you pounced on him awaiting the news.
“Uh… yeah, I did.” he lied.
“Markie!” you showered him in kisses and tight squeezes, your love for him unfaltering, “When do you leave?”
“Not for another year,” he smiled, not looking at you.
“Hopefully you’ll still be here for my graduation…” you sighed, “Nonetheless I’m glad I get to keep you to myself for a bit longer.
—
December 25, 2022
“And this one's for you babe,” you smiled plopping the present into his hands. The Christmas tree behind him set the picture-perfect scene. Surrounded by your closest friends and family exchanging presents in your matching red and green pajamas, bellies full from the holiday feast, and presents waiting to be opened.
Mark happily obliged and ripped into the small package immediately. His eyes were wide as he lifted the contents with careful fingers.
“It’s a guitar pick,” you explained, seating yourself in his lap as he closely examined it, “so when you practice, you’ll always remember that I’m with you, cheering you on.”
Mark flipped the small piece over and nearly shed a tear at the small gold embossed scrawling you had designed a tiny heart.
“But hey, just because you have this doesn’t mean you can just stop cutting your fingernails! Also, it’s a reminder of me scolding you to stop biting your nails!” he chuckled lightly.
Mark didn’t have any words, mostly scared that he was going to start choking up if he even dared to open his mouth.
His present for you sat heavy in his pocket, the box weighing him down, anchored to the floor. Or was it the guilt that sat in his chest?
“Mark!” your friend Izaiah shouted while making his way over, interrupting Mark’s contemplation, “Heard the great news! So excited for you man! Look at you, finally pursuing your passion!”
“Thank you, man, I appreciate it,” Mark responds, reaching a hand out to dap him up.
“Say, can’t believe you’re leaving so soon, what a shame, your mom has been a mess crying every time she hears your name.”
“We will make the most of the time we have together that’s for sure,” you interject snuggling into Mark.
“Well, you two better hurry,” Izaiah says while looking at his watch, “Time's ticking…”
“Well, good thing he is leaving-”
Mark suddenly stands up meeting Izaiah before you can finish your sentence, “Yeah I mean we will make it feel like a year that’s for sure! Gotta spend as much time with my baby as possible!” While patting his shoulder rather harshly and pleading with him with his eyes.
“Uh… Dude did you not-”
“Izaiah! Did you try the cherry cheesecake that y/n made? It’s so good! Let’s go have some now!”
“But I’m allergic!”
“Be right back babe just going to get a slice!”
Mark pulls Izaiah to the kitchen in a secluded corner.
“Did you seriously not tell her yet? You leave tomorrow! Eighteen hours to be exact!” He harshly whispers to Mark.
“I just haven’t had the right moment to tell her yet…” Mark sighs, running a hand through his hair, “It’s going to break her.”
“You know what might break her more? She wakes up tomorrow and goes over to your house to only be told you left the country!”
“I know!” Mark yells a bit too loudly. Everyone in the house turned to the shouting two with questioning eyes.
“Sorry folks! Just talking about some music things!”
“Mark, you are going to quite literally ruin y/n. The only thing you are accomplishing-”
“A toast!” The pair were interrupted by Mark’s parents who asked everyone to gather around.
“We are not done here, you will tell her tonight,” Izaiah states, shoulder-checking Mark before grabbing a champagne flute and joining everyone.
Mark takes a moment to collect himself before plastering a fake smile and rejoining at your side.
“Thank you, everyone, for joining us here tonight, as you all know Christmas is such a lovely time for all of us to reunite and enjoy each other’s company,” Mark’s dad announces.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen some of you, that I almost didn’t recognize a few!” a chorus of chuckles resounded before he cleared his voice and continued, “As some of you may or may not know, God has truly blessed one of our own with the opportunity of a lifetime,” everyone turned towards Mark with proud smiles, “And I would like to thank each and every one of you who supported and believed in our dear son. Mark, we are all so proud of you and can’t wait to see you make music for the whole world to hear!”
“That’s my boyfriend!” You shouted from the back, also receiving a coral of laughter.
“Though we may not see you for a while, just know we are rooting for you, all of us here at home, love you dearly,” his mom chimed in, raising her glass towards him, “to Mark.”
“To Mark!” Everyone cheered, raising their glasses in unison.
“To Mark…” you softly said confused while looking up at him.
Mark was sweating. Puddles.
He weakly lifted his glass and downed it in one gulp, not making eye contact with your questioning eyes beneath him.
“Baby? What does she mean for a while? You don’t leave for a long while?” you ask with lips pouted.
“Uh… I think she just means that you all won’t see me for a bit because… I uh… will be busy getting ready to leave for training is all! Yeah! I am just so excited to be diving into my craft!”
“Oh. Okay. She made it sound like you were leaving tomorrow or something,” you chuckled sipping from your glass, “So, what did you get me for Christmas?”
Already flustered, Mark was saved by his ringtone, “Not yet, lemme take this real quick, it’s my manager.”
You nodded, turning to wait for your turn for the karaoke microphone while he stepped out onto the porch in the cold.
“Merry Christmas Mark!” his manager sang to him, “How is your day going?”
“Uh…” he huffed out, a puff of visible breath leaving his mouth as he shivered, “It’s been good. Hard to say goodbye.”
“Well, it’s another Christmas miracle, Mark! Luckily for you, unlucky for the company, all the airports in Canada have been temporarily unable to send out or land any planes due to severe weather warnings so we won’t be able to fly you out for a bit. I went back and forth with the company and bought you some more time, so you’ll leave the first of the year! New year, new beginnings, am I right?”
Mark couldn’t believe his ears.
More time with you. More time to tell you.
“Are you serious?” he choked out.
“Yes! So please, tell that girlfriend of yours, I have a feeling you haven’t been able to break the news,” he pokes.
“Pshhh… what makes you think that?”
“Well, considering the first file you sent over to me of singing samples were painful ballads, I would guess that you haven’t told her or you two broke up. And I just know neither one of you could do that.”
Mark looks out down the street, blurry colors barely visible due to the heavy amounts of snow falling, “I’ll tell her soon. Just not on Christmas.”
The two spent a few more minutes talking about logistics and excitement before Mark went back inside.
How is he going to break the news to you?
–
Mark was able to successfully avoid you for the remainder of the party, too many aunties and uncles pulling him away to congratulate him- even sneaking a few bills and checks into his pocket- and asking way too many questions about the future that made his head spin.
From time to time he would look over and see you playing with the heaps of children with their new toys, or holding some lady’s newborn baby, or helping his mom pack people’s takeaway plates. One aunt had to quite literally snap her fingers in front of his face to redirect his attention because he couldn’t stop swooning over you holding a set of sleeping baby twins.
“I like her,” his aunt smiled while joining him in the hallway, “She’s the type you want to lock down.”
“I love her.”
“Then don’t break her heart, Mark, soon is coming whether you like it or not.”
You were now playing hide and seek with a few of the older kids and saw your bright red socks peeking out from under the tall curtains giving your spot away immediately.
“Only a coward will let something this small get in the way.” his aunt pats his shoulder before walking away.
—
“You know you never had the chance to give me your Christmas gift…” you trail while facetiming Mark in bed.
“You’ll get it soon, don't worry,” he laughs, shuffling the sheet music on his desk.
“You know, it is customary to exchange presents on Christmas right?”
“I am aware, I’ll give it to you next time I see you. New Year’s Eve right? We’re still going over to Izaiah’s?”
“I should be back by then.”
Trying to find the right time to tell you was arduous. The day after Christmas your family surprised you with a trip to New York to visit some of your family there. Just more time wasted where he couldn’t spend his last waking moments of freedom with you. Scrolling through Instagram, it tugged at his heartstrings seeing you smile and laugh with cousins you haven’t seen in a while, unaware of the disastrous news waiting for you at home with him.
Cheers to the end of Fall 2022! Your caption reads, a boomerang with you cheering to the camera, a pint of beer daring to spill over.
“What time is your flight tomorrow?” he asks.
“Nine pm,” you respond yawning, “a few more stops for sightseeing, then my cousin is dropping us off at the airport.
“Am I still picking you up to go back to the apartment?”
“Yes please.”
There was movement on your end of the camera due to your cousins wrestling you to the ground, trying to sneak a peek at Mark.
“Hi, hyung!” one of the younger ones shouted with a toothless smile.
“Hello hello! Please be careful with my girlfriend, she is highly valuable to me!” he chuckles, leaning back into his bed.
“No promises! She needs to take us ice skating now and she hasn’t gotten dressed yet!” he whines back.
“Okay okay, I surrender! Please get off, I’ll get ready now!”
Mark bids you a farewell and heads to bed.
One more sleep until it’s time to see you.
–
December 31, 2022
“Red or blue for tonight?” you shout from your closet.
“Hmm… I am wearing baby blue tonight. How about that dark blue dress you bought the other day?” Mark replies by sporting a towel around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth.
“The sparkly one or the satin one?” you walk up behind him as he spits into the sink, taking in the options through the mirror.
“Definitely sparkly, it is New Year's Eve after all.”
“I don’t even want to go out…” you whine leaning onto Mark’s back and pecking his shoulder, “Can we just stay in…?” continuing a path of open mouth kisses to his neck.
“Hell no! Izaiah will kill us if we don’t show up! He’s been planning this all month!” he says trying not to give into your feeble attempts at seduction and focus on shaving his faint mustache.
“But I don’t wanna… the new year means another day closer to you leaving and I want to spend every minute with you!”
Mark’s back tenses at the mention of his departure.
“Yeah… me too baby,” he says, shrugging you off and heading towards the dresser to grab some boxers, “but let’s celebrate rather than think about that!”
The fresh hot shower couldn’t ease the nervousness that Mark felt. He was keeping this a secret.
Again.
From the moment he picked you up at the airport he tried, he really tried, to confess to you about his early departure. But the way you kept talking about your fun adventures from New York, he couldn’t just rain on your sunshine just quite yet. Then he decided he would tell you when you two got back to the apartment, after dinner. But you obviously had other plans as you decided to immediately jump his bones upon unlocking the front door. He even tried to disconnect your needy lips from his own, but alas he wasn’t just a man with needs- he was a simp with needs. And who was he to deny you of anything you wanted?
He decided now, as he was putting on his socks, that he was going to have to tell you before you two left for the party. Especially with how much of a loudmouth Izaiah is, everybody in attendance probably already heard of the news and his send-off the next morning.
Mustering up the courage to approach you, he eyed your frame standing at the mirror near the door, just putting the last of your lip gloss on for the night.
It’s now or never.
“Hey baby, I have something to tell you,” he said shakily, standing with knees that felt like they were going to give out any second.
“What’s up,” you respond, walking past him to grab your purse and then meeting him in the hallway.
“Just know, that I know that this is very last minute, and I probably should have told you sooner but I didn’t want to make the moment super emotional. I love you. You mean so entirely much to me, and I’m scared I would push you away,” he admits.
“Mark,” you start, taking his hand in yours to shut down his insecure thoughts, “It’s okay. I already know.”
“Wait you do?” he shouts incredulously, “who told you? Was it Izaiah? Oh my God, it was my mom wasn’t it? I told her not to say anything…”
“Baby no none of them told me, I was just waiting for you to show me?”
Mark cocked an eyebrow, “Show you…?”
“My Christmas present, right?” you chuckle shoving him lightly, “I don’t mind if you forgot, I know you’ve had a lot on your mind recently. So what, did it just come in or something? I’m sure the snowstorm probably delayed whatever it was.”
“Oh! Yeah… Right! Your Christmas present that’s what this is all about haha,” he says fumbling around then heads into the room to find the small box. The little angel on Mark’s shoulder was shouting at him to turn back around that instant to tell you the truth, meanwhile, the little insecure Mark on the other side sighed a breath he’d been holding in, glad to take a moment to collect himself. Mark reached into his bedside drawer and reappeared in the hallway to meet you.
“Merry belated Christmas, y/n,” he whispers, presenting the box.
“You’re not proposing to me, right?” you eye him breaking the palpable tension in the air, “because there is usually a part where you get on one knee and then there’s the speech.”
“No, no,” he laughs, “not yet at least,” he says with a wink, “gotta chase our dreams first.”
You open the tiny black box to be met with a small silver ring without a gemstone, but rather small engravings.
Forever it read on the outside
♡ Mark, it read on the inside.
“It’s a promise,” he starts, “a promise to forever be yours.”
He steps closer with every word, “a promise to forever be supporting you, near or far. A promise to love you even when you don’t love yourself.”
“And lastly,” tears pricked your eyes as you stared down at the ring, Mark so close that his breath fanned across your skin, “It’s a reminder that no matter how much of a dream this opportunity is, that you, you y/n, are my dream.”
He slots the ring on your manicured pinky before sliding his to intertwine with yours, “I promise, that I love you.”
Time stood still at that moment. Nothing could pull you two apart. Standing together with pinkies interlocked.
“I love you Mark, dream and all.”
“I love you forever.”
“Dream and all.”
–
“Finally they’re here!”
Izaiah did outdo himself with this party. Lights were strung up along the ceiling and banisters, bottles of alcohol lined the kitchen tables, and so many people there that they had to park around the block.
As Mark's heart sank with the weight of his secret, the party continued in the background. The music was loud, and people were dancing and laughing, unaware of the turmoil that was unfolding between you and Mark.
Confetti rained down from the ceiling, and balloons bounced around the room, adding to the festive atmosphere, but Mark couldn't bring himself to enjoy any of it. All he could think about was the fact that he was leaving and that he had hurt the one person he cared about more than anything.
As the night wore on, Mark felt himself becoming more and more detached from the party.
Many people came up to him with words of encouragement, pride beaming on their faces as he would go on to make your small town proud.
He watched as people wrote their New Year’s hopes on small pieces of paper and then taped them to the wall, their faces filled with excitement and anticipation. A couple of hours in, he sees you being whisked every which way by friends that were visiting home from university, he smiles knowing you have been looking forward to seeing them all year. Mark's heart was heavy as he looked around the festive New Year's Eve party. The excitement of the countdown to midnight, the laughter, and the clinking of glasses all seemed to fade into the background as he thought about what he had to do.
But Mark couldn't join in their celebration.
He knew that when the clock struck midnight, his world would be completely different.
“Tick-tock, Cinderella,” Izaiah whispers into Mark’s ear while passing by and then pointing at the clock above.
One more hour till midnight.
“Wanna dance for a bit?” he heard your voice from next to him, “or are you too busy being broody in the corner?”
Much to his dismay, you pulled Mark onto the dance floor. He couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in his chest as your hips melted into the rhythm of the song, your arms snaking up to his neck. He felt multiple sets of eyes land on you two, some filled with love, others in sadness, and some people even raised their cups in solemn of what’s to become of you two.
In just a few short hours, Mark would be leaving for Korea, pursuing the dream that you both talked so highly of. It was an opportunity that would change his life, but it also meant leaving behind everything he knew and loved.
Mark looked around the room, friends he grew up with, family that supported him through everything, you, you being his world. Was he really ready to leave this life?
“Girl, if I were you I’d be fucking him into the next year!” a drunk girl slurred while bumping into you two.
“I mean I plan on it!” you chuckled while trying to steady her rocking frame.
“I don’t know how you’re able to do it y/n… long distance that already sucks… him having to keep you a secret for the rest of his life? Damn, that’s even worse.”
Feeling flustered by the truth, you begin to talk down the reality, “Oh I feel secure enough in my relationship! I know Mark is just doing what he has to do for his career, but that doesn’t mean he loves me any less! We have great communication-”
“Pshh communication my ass! Did he even tell you that he leaves–”
“Okay! That’s enough! Too much to drink as always Mina, huh?” Mark shushes her while pulling her to a couch to lie down.
“Oh fuck off Mark, if you don’t want to tell her, I’ll tell her myself because you are too much of a pussy boy to do so!” she yells while being thrown onto the couch.
Gathering his wits, he makes his way back to you.
“What was that all about? What are you not telling me?” you ask, taking a step forward.
“Don’t worry about it babe, you know Mina gets too drunk at parties and keeps saying shit…” Mark sweats.
“Wait, you know that is weird because Riane also brought up something along the lines of “Oh wow he hasn’t told you yet?” when I was talking to her earlier… what are you hiding?” you suddenly feel the bottle of soju you had earlier.
“Not here please, not now…” he pleads, frantically looking around as people start to be intrigued by the madness happening in front of them.
“No, tell me now. New year, no secrets!” you stomp.
When the countdown finally began, Mark felt a sense of dread wash over him. He knew that once the new year began, his life would be changed forever.
“For fucks sake, y/n,” he says before pulling you outside.
He looked over at you, who was standing with your back turned to him. He wanted to go over to you, just hold you, to apologize, to make things right, but he knew that it was too late.
He had to face the truth.
“You have ten seconds to tell me, Mark,” you say with crossed arms, chests pressed against each other.
As if on cue, he hears the crowd from inside the house start the countdown into the new year.
10!
“I have been keeping a secret.”
9!
“I haven’t been able to find the right words to tell you.”
8!
“I did pass my audition and I will leave for Korea soon.”
7!
“My manager called the other day to tell me I'm leaving on Christmas.”
6!
“But I got an extension.”
5!
“When do you leave Mark?” you ask with a shaky breath, eyes clouded with tears, as you stand watching the man you love break down.
4!
“I love you, y/n, don’t forget that.” he chokes out.
3!
“When do you leave Mark?!” you scream at him.
2!
Time stilled as he just stared at you with a trembling lip.
1!
“I leave today.”
As the countdown ended, and the room erupted into cheers, fireworks went off from the backyard. Mark felt a sense of emptiness inside.
“Happy New Year!” was ringing in his ears, the festivity inside contrasting the pit in his stomach. He knew that he was supposed to be celebrating, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. All he could do was watch as you slowly walked backward, face twisted with pain.
You both stood there, both lost in your thoughts, as the new year began. And as the party continued around him, Mark felt more alone than ever before.
"What? When were you going to tell me? You waited till the day of?"
"I didn't know how," he said, his voice barely audible over the sound of the cheers. "I didn't want to hurt you."
You took another step back, tears streaming down your face. "You're leaving me?"
Mark reached out to touch you, but you pulled away. "No, y/n, it's not like that. I just..."
“You didn’t what?” you whispered finally stepping forward, him retreating backwards, “You didn't do what, Mark!” finally yelled.
“You lied! You lied to my face, of all secrets to keep, you kept this. For what? Think I couldn’t take it? Couldn’t bear the fact you’d be chasing your dreams? What is it?” you screamed, pushing him with each sentence.
Mark took every beating, the punishment for his personalized brand of torture he put you through. You hit his chest as he stood taking in every blow, face and body empty, a shell of the man you’ve come to love.
“So much for forever right?” you finally stop, “so much for dreams and all.”
“Baby,” he pleads, “baby please don’t.”
“No, because…” you lift your face, running your hands through your hair, your ring getting caught in the tangles reminding you of his promise, “fuck this Mark. This really was never going to work.”
“You don’t. You don’t mean that.” he shakes his head reaching out for you.
“I fucking mean it.” you say while staring at him and taking off the ring and throwing it on the ground, “I hope it works out for you Mark, I really do. Dreams and all.”
You left Mark there as he fell to his knees, cradling the ring that symbolizes everything you meant to him. The real engagement ring in his pocket never felt heavier in his pocket.
--------------
and i hope she was worth the wait? first three chapters are posted today. next chapter released first week of 2025.
