#mario items

Name: Bee Mushroom

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

You ever just, think about the Bee Mushroom? At all? We all know Mario has wacky powerups. It's so easy to make jokes about him eating something like the Spring Mushroom, which is blatantly made of metal. Bee Mushroom is not made of metal. It's made of bee!

So. Would you eat?

If you asked a Nintendo representative, they would probably say it tastes like honey, or something cute like that. And maybe it does... but I don't know. That's not the vibe I'm getting here. Bee stripes are always a cute aesthetic choice, but these ones are so visibly fuzzy. They look like they're really made of setae. This mushroom has a chitinous cuticle, and is possibly full of hemolymph. It would be like taking a bite out of an apple-sized bee abdomen. So, no. Would Not Eat!

And yes, Mario does indeed eat this! It's not a case of just touching a mystical item and gaining its power. The mission that gives you a choice of using the Boo or Bee Mushroom is called "Choosing a Favorite Snack". Sheesh. Only two options? I could have sworn there were more snacks than that. Would it kill them to add a nice Blueberry Muffin as an option here? It would turn Mario into Muffin-Muncher Mario, which is the same as regular Mario, but he is happier, because he just ate a nice muffin.

Boo Mushroom is probably weirder than Bee Mushroom, to be honest. However! Ghosts are not real, so I cannot imagine what biting them would be like. It's sooo easy to imagine biting a bee. I've never done it! I'll never do it! But I can imagine it. If I had to bite any bee, it would be a larva. That would be safest and easiest to bite. But I would never do it. Okay?

The Bee Mushroom turns the snacker into their Bee Form! You all know Bee Mario, so I'm showing you Bee Kinopio-kun instead. You've never played as him in a game, because he's never been in a game! And you can't play promotional art calendars.

Bee Mario (form) is silly. Mario can fly, of course, and climb on honeycomb walls. He can also stand on cloud and flower platforms, because I guess he is lighter now? What has this mushroom done to Mario's insides? Where have his organs gone? Thankfully, taking damage will make Mario a healthy mammal again!

You may notice I did not mention any stinging! Bee Mario does gain a stinger, and does a whole lotta nothing with it. Which is good, if he's supposed to be a honey bee! I'm sure you know honey bees readily die after stinging and losing their stingers, but did you know they are the ONLY ones? Even goofy little bumble bees can sting as many times as they please, as long as they have enough venom! But nothing, not even a wasp, WANTS to sting you and waste that venom. So be nice to them all! Especially to wasps! They need all the love they can get!

Green Star

(no parts this time because I can put all of them in one post)

Name: Lucky Seven

Debut: Mario Kart 7

Yesterday was Mario Day, the anniversary of this blog's creation! It has now been SEVEN dang years of this blog existing, and that is so weird! The blog could be in second grade right now! It could be learning about insect metamorphosis! Isn't that splendid? Of course, we already taught it all we know about insects, so it is rather bored in class. It's become a real Class Clown. And we wouldn't have it any other way! We love Silly!

For the seventh anniversary, I decided to make the most Seven post ever. The only thing that could make this any more Seven is if I deleted every other post besides the first six, making this the seventh post on the blog. But that would be tomfoolishness, which is distinct from tomfoolery, and where I draw the line.

So here is the Lucky Seven! From Mario Kart 7! It gives Seven items at once, as a reference to how lucky Seven is in slot machines, since Nintendo loves to dance around with cheeky little gambling references without going too far into actually portraying it. Seven items is nothing to sneeze at, so don't even think about sneezing right now! If you sneeze with this item active, you might end up completely missing its window of usefulness, because it is very mediocre, to be honest.

A Banana, Green Shell, Red Shell, Bob-omb, Star, Mushroom, and Blooper all orbit the kart, and you use the one directly in front of you when you press the item button. That makes it basically impossible to use the Green Shell effectively, since you have such a limited time to launch it! Usually most of these things will either be thrown out willy-nilly, or collided with by an opponent who is driving nilly-willy. But it could even end up feeling rather wimmy-nimmy for you and nibby-wibby for your opponent, because they could steal your Mushroom or even your Star! It ends up feeling more like an item that Makes Stuff Happen than one that necessarily Helps You. That's not very lucky. I'd sooner call it crazy! Like another, later item, focusing on the number... oh, I shan't say.

I'd like to point out how the Seven is not a physical thing. It's a mere symbol, unlike any other item! This could not be held if it tried. It even gets a background in the item roulette, which is really weird, to be honest! It is pulling out all the stops to make this occasion about itself! I'll let it slide, since this occasion is indeed about it.

Lucky Seven is such a Seven item. It would be a bit silly to see it in a game outside Mario Kart 7! Now let's look at it in Mario Kart Tour.

Mario Kart Tour is basically mobile Mario Kart 7 with worse gameplay and less Honey Queen, so I guess Lucky Seven is right at home here, or at least it's sleeping over on the couch here. If your character is upgraded enough, they can unleash the power of Lucky Seven PLUS, which adds three coins. That's not seven anymore, but it is certainly seven plus three. I shall accept this as well.

So, overall, Lucky Seven is okay. It's somewhat interesting. If only it was a bit more interesting, though. This post wasn't even about any Mario Creatures! Have we fallen from grace?

"Hey! Welcome to Game Guy's Mini-Game!"

Oh? Game Guy? Our friend Game Guy from Mario Party 3 and the Game Guy post? That Game Guy?

"Let's see... I think I'll have you play my personal favorite. Game Guy's Lucky 7!"