#marinetime

I’ve pretty much always been the token single, “fun” friend. Before this year, I never dated anyone long enough to be called a boyfriend. I’m sure there is psychological shizzle* that’s pent up in my past and attributes to this serious commitment aversion. Or it could be that from a very young age my mother implored my sister and I never to “settle” – in fact, there’s a very specific line in the often-forgotten Disney film, Pocahontas, that my mom said a guy I married should feel:  

Now, in 1995 my mom didn't foresee the dating weather patterns of the millennial generation. So I took my mom's advice and those Mel Gibson-voiced John Smith words to heart. It’s been in the last couple years that I’ve come to realize how poorly I misconstrued my mom’s sentiment. Side note, remember it was the mid-90s and Mel was the MAN in the kilt  - way before crazy Mel, so hold off judgement.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in settling on the one you spend the rest of your life with. But I used to believe I had to make sure a boy I could consider a boyfriend (and not a Hit It 'N Quit It** situation) was as close to “the One” as possible. And I let a lot of amazing & infuriating dating/boyfriend experiences slip away because of this.

Now, in my mid-twenties, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to date someone for a while and not have it turn into the guy you end up with. It's also okay to go into dating him with the mind-set, “eh, probably not the “one” but I’m having fun and I’m learning about myself in the process, so what’s the harm?”  It’s fine to meander in that dating dance for 3 months of your time or even 7 months in my case. And it's ok to let yourself be sad when things end almost exactly as you knew they would.

Maybe if I was at a different point in my life I’d feel differently, but this is my present state of mind.  And I’m sure many would disagree with this notion, but I think that while you’re young and learning about yourself – why not share your life with your friends & family, and while you're at it, why not take that chance on a significant other; someone you care about, even if it’s just for fleeting moments. Because it’s also my opinion that everything happens for a reason and the greatest learning opportunities you gain from those other guys are leading up to that guy who might just put his head on that rock for you. And you might just save him right back.

Full Disclosure: I know my last line just sounded like I was SO trying to be a Carrie voice-over from the final seconds of a SATC*** episode. AND I know that the Disney Pocahontas film is about 12% historically accurate. But c’mon, don’t kill the dream. Also, for those of you who are chomping at the bit to hear how that Marine Wedding went, it was an amazing time with friends & the bride and groom were exceedingly happy. No single marines (what is up with that, BTDUBS****)?

BUT, guess who caught the bouquet? And by “caught” I mean picked it up after 3 long, awkward seconds when it landed on the ground next to me. Especially awkward after I didn’t attempt to catch it when it was thrown in my direction to begin with. AND NO ONE ELSE WANTED IT EITHER. It’s got to be a millennial thing.

*shizzle = The “S” Cuss Word.

**Hit It 'N Quit It = Self-Explanatory. DUH. When you flirt with a guy and go on dates for two weeks and then you stop answering his texts without any explanation. Get your mind out of the gutter.

*** SATC = Sex and the City. Maybe we should make a drinking game of how many abbreviations I can come up with in a post.