#marcidum

Chapter Two: Kaeru no Ko wa Kaeru

Mr. Bakugou visits his son every day of the week, and decides that "silent" isn't the right word to describe Katsuki's current state. Mr. Bakugou has always been a rather quiet person himself, but neither his wife nor his son shared such a trait. Katsuki and his mother were loud – loud, angry, often vulgar, and so alike in almost every way that Mr. Bakugou had heard jokes that his wife had simply found a way to clone herself (he might've made a couple of those jokes as well, when Katsuki was younger).

But Katsuki was more like his father than people realized. He was analytical and observant, he liked food that was far too spicy for most people, and he was really very bad at properly expressing himself. That last one came as a surprise, to some people. Mrs. Bakugou said what she thought. She was never afraid to admit her own weaknesses, never embarrassed to share her feelings, and always seemed able to read the mood and respond accordingly. Neither Katsuki nor his father was able to do those things nearly as well, and perhaps that was what had drawn Mr. Bakugou to his wife in the first place. He had looked past the anger, the yelling, the curses, and the "unladylike" behavior, and had seen something that no one else had noticed. He'd seen a passionate, loving, powerful woman, who threw everything she had into everything she did. There were those who might say that the Bakugou family was more than a bit dysfunctional, but Mr. Bakugou disagreed. His family was something complicated, something that not everyone could understand, but it wasn't "dysfunctional".

No, not dysfunctional at all. The people who said it was didn't see the little things, the important things. They never saw Mrs. Bakugou softly singing to a six-year-old Katsuki, who'd woken them all up in the middle of the night with a scary dream. They'd never seen Katsuki sneaking into the kitchen to cook breakfast after a huge fight with his mother, and they never saw Mrs. Bakugou sneaking sweets into his lunch in return. They didn't see Mr. Bakugou whispering soothing words to his son as he rubbed aloe vera on Katsuki's palms, back when his Quirk had only just manifested. They didn't Katsuki gripping his father's hand for dear life when he was only ten, because his mother had gotten pneumonia and they hadn't been sure she'd make it. The Bakugou family had always shown their love in actions, not words, and it seemed that that was something not many people could understand.

And now, Katsuki was in the hospital, Mrs. Bakugou was working as hard as she could to distract herself, and Mr. Bakugou was waiting. He was patient; waiting was okay, for him. He visited his son every day of the week, and he spoke to him. Nothing too important; just interesting things he'd heard that day, or something strange that had happened at work, or how he'd bumped into that Kirishima boy while he was leaving the hospital at least four times now.

"He really cares about you," he had said, gaining only a nod and a shrug in response. "You've got a great friend, there, Katsuki."

And Katsuki had said nothing – he hadn't said a word since his return to anyone other than Kirishima, and Mr. Bakugou was okay with that. He'd never needed words to understand his family before, and he certainly didn't need them now.

Katsuki wasn't "silent", like the doctors said; he was waiting for something – just like his father was waiting for something, and his mother was waiting for something, because the Bakugou family is a lot more patient than anyone gives them credit for.

Katsuki doesn't need to say anything to either of his parents just yet. Mr. Bakugou can wait for as long as he needs to, and he thinks to himself that maybe "silence" doesn't mean to him what it means to others, because the room is never silent when he's visiting his son; it's loud.

Loud and passionate, just like his son and wife. But it doesn't seem like anyone else can hear all of the emotion the Bakugou family can pour into a single look.

***

Nearly two weeks after Katsuki's return from the villains' grasp (only one week after he'd regained consciousness – well, six days, but who's counting), he speaks to someone other than Kirishima.

"Hi," he says, as his father walks into the room. A couple of the doctors outside gasp and start murmuring amongst one another, but Mr. Bakugou only smiles gently.

"Hey, son," he replies, sitting down next to the bed. "How's it going?" Katsuki shrugs. He doesn't seem to be looking at much in particular.

"It's. Y'know." He offers. Mr. Bakugou nods.

"Sounds about right," he agrees. "Should I call your mom, or is that a bit much for now?" Katsuki shakes his head.

"Don't call," he mumbles. "Too hard to focus on more than one person."

"Okay," his father says simply. "She says 'hi', though, like always." He hesitates for a moment. "She'd be here, if she thought it would help," the words are awkward, but Mr. Bakugou thinks this is something that should be said, just in case. "But, you know, your mom is a little bit–"

"Bitchy?" Katsuki offers.

"Intense," his father corrects him. "We're glad you're– here. We're glad you're here." Not back, because he's not entirely sure that he is and they probably aren't either, and not okay, because he isn't, not by a long shot, but maybe–

"Am I okay?" Katsuki asks. It's a surprisingly insecure question, especially from someone like Katsuki, but understandable, given the circumstances.

"I don't know," Mr. Bakugou replies, unhelpfully. "Are you?"

"'S why I'm asking," he mutters. His father smiles sadly at him.

"It's not really a question that I can answer," he says. "Maybe it's not a question anyone can answer. We might just have to wait and see." Katsuki frowns, but doesn't respond. They sit together in silence for a while, before Mr. Bakugou speaks again. "I don't know if anyone's told you this yet, but Golem is alive." Katsuki looks up.

"I thought Mas–" he stops himself, looking a bit sick. "I thought that cock-sucking piece of shitfuck killed her." I thought he made me kill her.

"She's one tough cookie," his father says mildly, ignoring the near slip-up. "She's been worried sick about you. Doesn't show it, but I can tell."

"Shouldn't she be in jail?" Katsuki wonders. A villain is a villain, no matter what they'd done. His father gives him a thoughtful look.

"Well," he begins, "the funny thing is, no one seems to recall her committing any actual crimes. In fact, according to All Might, she's been a spy all along." That's the stupidest thing Katsuki has ever heard in his life, and it shows on his face. On the other hand, he'd bet good money that Golem is the reason they found him.

"Where is she?" he asks, because it's easier than asking about All Might, who's apparently still alive somehow, despite the things Shigaraki Tomura had hissed in his ear while every bone in his body felt like it was aching fucking on fire only not literally not this time but fucking hell will that guy ever shut the fuck–

"I'm not sure," his father tells him. "She kept trying to go after you, despite her injuries–"

"'Cause she's a fucking idiot," Katsuki grumbles. His father shrugs.

"Maybe," he allows, "I think she blames herself, though." Katsuki doesn't say anything to that, because he doesn't know whether or not she should blame herself. But then he remembers All For One's voice, the familiar sensation of his hands heating up before–

Explosion, a woman's scream of pain, furious yells, running running running "don't worry about me, just go" running, All Might's there, and– is that Deku?

Is that… it's Deku, yes, and the Vice-President, and that freaking glasses nerd, and that stupid fucking half-and-half bastard, and–

"Come!"

"You still there, Katsuki?" his father murmurs, and Katsuki blinks back into the world, knuckles clenched white against the pale blue of the hospital covers. He tries to say 'yes' or something similar, but his voice fails, so he just shrugs. Mr. Bakugou looks carefully at him, and then sighs. "I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll visit tomorrow, too."

Katsuki nods, and watches his father leave the room. He turns to look out the window as the doctors come back in, and he thinks he sees a slim figure in a hoodie slinking away between the trees. He doesn't have to wonder who it is; the scars on her hands – the only visible part of her body right now – stand out even from a distance.

***

When Inko comes in to check on Katsuki, the doctors tell her that he's sleeping, which isn't too surprising, all things considered. Still, she had promised to check in on her best friend's son, since Mrs. Bakugou wasn't sure if Katsuki wanted to see her yet. She'd promised her own son too, so she quietly walked into the hospital room, not entirely sure what to expect.

Katsuki's brow is narrowed in a frown, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, and he seems to be biting his lip. Nightmare, Inko thinks immediately. She places her purse down on the dresser and walks over to the sleeping boy.

"Katsuki-kun," she whispers, gently touching his shoulder. "Wake up now, Katsuki-kun." His eyes shoot open, and his hands rush forward, but Inko catches his wrists before he can actually hit her. "It's just me, Katsuki-kun," she murmurs. "You remember me, don't you?"

Auntie Inko, Bakugou's brain supplies, but his mouth can't seem to form the words. Instead, he makes a strange choking noise.

"Just breathe," Inko says soothingly. "It's okay. It's just me." Bakugou's eyes are wide, and Inko almost thinks he's about to start crying. She pulls him against her, runs her hands through his hair, and whispers things she hopes will calm him. After a few minutes, his breathing slows, and he's able to relax slightly in her arms.

Nothing Inko does can stop the shaking.

AN: Yay, Inko's here! I was gonna introduce Golem in the last scene, but I decided against it. Actually, I didn't initially plan for her to be in the story at all, but then I realized that the villains don't actually have a doctor (or, if they do, we've never seen 'em), and Golem at least knows how to keep people alive, so she ended up being necessary. For anyone wondering, no, there will not be any OC/canon romance. In fact, there might not be any romance, but there definitely won't be any ship with Golem in it that isn't purely platonic. It would just be… creepy, really.

Chapter One: Kishi Kaisei

 The world fades in and out of focus as Bakugou tries to pay attention to what the doctors outside his room are saying. He's gotten so used to not thinking about anything that trying to focus is close to painful. He doesn't want to talk to them, anyway. Talking still hurts, although he isn't sure why–

"Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit!" Fire, burning, pain, screams– knives and "You look so cute today, Katsuki-chan! Toga wants to play a game~" "Watch it, Toga. If you cut another tendon, Golem might actually strangle you" fire sharp stop hurts stop stop stop it please

"–nly spoke to one of his classmates so far," one of the doctors is saying to Bakugou's parents. "He seems aware when people are speaking to him, and he's not incapable of communicating; seems to prefer nodding or shaking his head, so we're limited to yes or no questions."

"Which one?" he hears his father say. "I assume it's not Izuku-kun. They haven't had a great relationship in a while."

"Kirishima Eijirou-kun," another doctor – Recovery Girl, Bakugou thinks, although he isn't sure – tells them. "Those two are pretty good friends, it seems."

"I thought only family was allowed in," Bakugou's mother says. She's quieter than usual, not yelling at all, no swearing, and she sounds more surprised than annoyed.

"He let himself in," the first doctor says, sounding a little embarrassed. "Recovery Girl thought it would be fine, and All Might agreed, so–"

All Might, fighting, punching, training, class failure losing to Deku USJ attacked villains– villains villains villainsvillainsvillainsvillainsvillains "Join the League" "Take the piece" "COME!" Reaching reaching reaching a tug falling falling falling blackness tugging screams "We have to go!" run run run away before they get you they'll kill you don't die please don't die just run leave leave now just go go go please go please–

((please don't leave me here))

He blinks, and the hour hand on the clock has moved over several spaces. The sounds outside of his door have stopped, but Bakugou thinks he can hear footsteps. A knock sounds at the door.

"Blasty?" a voice – no, no, no; it's Kirishima, that's important – calls. "Can I come in?" Bakugou tries to say something, but his throat is dry (he's been staring at a blank wall for… a while, apparently, and he's only know realizing how thirsty he is), so all that comes out is a weird mix between a sigh and a squeak. "Okay, I'm coming in!" Kirishima says, and the door swings open. Bakugou's throat is still dry, so he just waves. Kirishima grins at him. "I brought you some water," he says, and it's really amazing how good he is at this, whatever this is. Bakugou nods, accepts the cup, and drinks it.

"Hi," he says, hoarsely. Kirishima beams at him. "You, uh–" he forgets what he wants to say, and bites his lip. "Um."

"So the doctors say you aren't talking to anyone but me," Kirishima notes, throwing the empty cup away. "What's that about?" Bakugou shrugs.

"Too hard to focus," he replies. Kirishima laughs.

"But not with me?" He asks.

"Not with you," Bakugou agrees (and it's true – there's no distractions when Kirishima is there, and talking doesn't hurt as much as usual). Kirishima blinks, taken aback by the honesty. The surprise is quickly replaced by cheeks tinted slightly pink and a happy grin.

"Anyway," Kirishima quickly changes the subject, because it feels like the right thing to do, "I'm the only one the hospital is letting in, but the others wanted me to say hi for them."

"The others?" Bakugou repeats, and Kirishima nods.

"Yeah, everyone, basically," he says. "In Class 1-A, I mean. Class 1-B says hi too, but I only have Kendou's word for it. Uraraka said to tell you that she hopes you'll get better soon – even said she'd kick my butt if I forgot to bring it up." It takes Bakugou a minute to remember who Uraraka is (round face, determined eyes, floating), but Kendou escapes him entirely. "Midoriya's mom dropped by as well, I heard, but you were sleeping. Midoriya said to tell you that his mom's gonna make the best mapo tofu you've ever had in your life once you're outta here, so–"

"Out?" Bakugou interrupts, frowning. Something about that isn't right, but he's not sure what.

"Well, yeah, duh," Kirishima says. "They're not keeping you here forever, Blasty, that's not actually legal." Whatever was concerning about Kirishima's previous statement vanishes, and Bakugou's frown becomes a scowl.

"Of course it's legal, Hair-For-Brains," he grumbles. "Do you even know how hospitals work?"

"Not really," Kirishima admits. "There's probably still a limit to how long they can keep you once you've healed up, though." The unease returns, full-force. 'Healed up', he says. No, that's not right. That's not right at all, but Bakugou can't for the life of him figure out why–

"You heal quickly, although that's probably not a good thing in this place." "Go to hell." "I'm the closest thing you've got to a friend here, kid. Don't forget that." Scarred arms, gentle, gentle, gentle, stitches and calm, soothing words, warmth, and "He's just a kid, you know." "So what?" "…No, never mind."  Calloused but soft fingers, holding him steady while he throws up "take it easy, kid; it's vomit, not war" slightly sad eyes watching him go, help please help please don't let them take me please help me–

"Bakugou!" Bakugou blinks, and he's back in the hospital. Kirishima's eyes are wide, and his arms fervently grip Bakugou's shoulders. "What was that?"

"I… what?" Bakugou manages eloquently. Kirishima frowns.

"You zoned out for a moment," he says softly. "You kinda freaked a little, too."

"Oh," it takes a moment for that to register. "Uh, sorry." Kirishima flinches slightly at the apology (because it's Bakugou and apologizing and other words that aren't supposed to end up in the same sentence).

"Don't worry about it," Kirishima says, and then immediately realizes what he's said. "I mean, y'know, do worry about it, because it's a problem, but don't apologize or anything. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." Bakugou doesn't say anything for a moment, just looks down at his (ugly, scarred, broken, disgusting) hands.

"Mm." He says eventually. There's no conviction behind it, and Kirishima frowns.

"Dude," he begins. "You know it's not your fault, right?" Bakugou still can't bring himself to meet Kirishima's eyes, can't even manage to look up a little. "Bakugou. Listen to me, please. This isn't your fault. I mean it."

"Yeah," Bakugou says. "Okay." Kirishima opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it. Instead, he pulls back from Bakugou's shoulders and holds his hands instead. He doesn't harden the skin, and Bakugou can't tell if it's out of trust or something else entirely.

"I'm glad you're here," Kirishima tells him softly. "We all are, you know. I thought– we were – I was – so close, and then–" He squeezes his eyes shut, gritting his teeth together. "I almost had you," he whispers. "If I'd been just a little faster, then–"

"You came," Bakugou remembers. "You reached for me." But Shigaraki had reached for him too, and his arms were longer than Kirishima's, and–

Burning pain in his leg, cracked skin and agony, Kirishima's horrified face, Deku wailing in- in- in something, maybe fear or anger or both, swirling purple-black mist his Quirk is gone no it's not it's back no it's gone again what the fuck explosions sparks nothing explosions laughter what the fuck

"But I didn't," Kirishima interrupts the memory (memories; plural, maybe). The grip on Bakugou's hands tightens slightly. "I didn't make it. I failed. Again." Bakugou wants to say something, to make it – whatever 'it' is – better somehow, but he can't.

"It's not your fault," he says, feeling a bit like a parrot. Kirishima laughs wetly.

"That's my line," he mumbles. He takes a deep breath, and grins sheepishly. "I'm being such a baby right now. I mean, you were– this is– I just–" he stops, takes another breath, and continues. "This isn't about me," he says. Bakugou looks down at their hands, fingers still intertwined (I'm still here he's still here we're still here this is real I'm back I'm home I'm safe).

"It kinda is," he tells him. Kirishima looks up. "About you, I mean."

"Never thought I'd hear that from you," Kirishima jokes. Bakugou feels something bubbling in his chest (laughter?), but it doesn't come out. He doesn't reply, though, a wave of exhaustion washing over him. "Tired?" Kirishima asks. He doesn't need a response; it's pretty obvious. "I'll go, then." He squeezes Bakugou's hands once more, and steps back. "I'll visit tomorrow, too." Bakugou nods, and Kirishima leaves, sending him one last smile before he goes.

When Bakugou falls asleep, he doesn't dream.