#marblebutts

Shea: No.

send me a pairing and I’ll tell you who:

falls asleep on the couch: Big Head, but he usually tries to get Jared to join in, since he’s always trying to get Jared to relax more. (’Jared, the company isn’t going to go bankrupt if you spoon me for forty-five minutes.’ ‘Well, actually, it might! So-’ ‘So then Hooli will have less competition and I will have more money to spend on rare birds for you.’ ‘Rare birds?’ ‘The rarest.’)

makes friends with the neighbors: Jared is very friendly with the neighbors and occasionally tries to house wife it up and have them over for dinner, but Big Head usually nixes the idea pretty quick. 

is the adventurous eater: Big Head knows a lot of super cool gastropubs, but Jared is very eager to try stuff when they have the time. Unfortunately, they usually don’t and Big Head has discovered that most fancy, experimental places don’t do take out.   

hogs the covers at night: Big Head. But Jared still has scary German night terrors, so it’s pretty much even. 

forgets to do the dishes: Big Head, but he does them eventually- even if he has to physically restrain Jared from getting to them first. (’Baby, I’m just letting them soak-’ ‘That is a ploy, Nelson, that is the oldest trick in the book!’)

tries to surprise their partner more often: Jared is kind of impossible to beat because he is a sap, but Big Head holds his own. He picks out a lot of movies he thinks Jared would like and plans fun outings. 

leaves dirty laundry on the floor: Big Head, to no one’s surprise, is kind of a slob. 

stays up til 2 AM reading: Jared, to no one’s surprise, is a workaholic with a total disregard for human sleep schedules. Though Big Head never adjusted to adult sleeping schedules, so is usually up pretty late too. They watch a lot of documentaries together. 

sings in the shower: Jared sings in the shower, but Big Head talks through movies he has memorized. Both of them like listening to the other and usually have comments waiting. (’Do you know the dance from Napoleon Dynamite too?’ ‘Yeah, but I never shower long enough to get to it.’)

takes the selfies: Big Head is a very avid user of snapchat and sends a lot of semi-ironic ‘chillin with bae 😎’ snaps. When Dinesh complained, he started sending three times as many.