#marauderswagger

a/n: I had a lot of fun writing this and Tom is kind of based off of Lucifer from the show Lucifer in this one. I also really love fluffy Tomione so, here we are. Thank you for the prompt, friend!! <33

“With the new budget for the upcoming year, my department plans on expanding — “  

Hermione was cut short by her phone ringing. She felt her body flush with heat as her colleagues stared at her and she rushed to decline the call without looking at it. 

“Mrs. Granger, what in Merlin’s name is that awful contraption?” Hermione shook her head as she gave a tight smile. “It is nothing worth noting. As I was saying, the new budget has allowed for — “ She was interrupted once again by her phone and she was certain that she must be red at this point. 

“My apologies, it must be really important. We’ll take a fifteen-minute break now.” 

As everyone got up, Hermione answered the phone, “Granger, speaking.”

“Hey, love, I need a favor.” 

Hermione looked at the screen and cocked her head at the unknown number before putting the device back to her ear. “Tom?” 

“Yes.” 

“Where’s your phone?” 

“Well, you see . . .” 

Four hours later, Hermione showed up to the police station with the appropriate amount of cash on hand to bail Tom out of jail. 

“Next,” the officer called out. Hermione stepped up to the desk and smiled politely. 

“Hello, I’m here for a Tom Riddle?” 

The policeman’s expression turned dark. “Oh. Him.” 

He lifted his chin to the holding area where Tom seemed to be holding court, all of the other prisoners listening raptly to whatever nonsense her husband must have been spewing. 

“I do apologize for him. £400,000, correct?” 

The officer took her money before another office released Tom. Stepping up to her with a grin on his face, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

“Thank you, love.” 

Hermione scowled at him. “We’ll talk about this later.” 

She grabbed at his hand and pulled him along. 

“Remember that your court date is a month from today!” The police officer reminded them as they left. 

When they got to their home, Hermione placed her hands on her hips as Tom poured them both a glass of wine. 

“Now, will you explain to me why you were in jail.” 

“You know how we got into that argument last week? The one where you wished I would, and I quote, ’stop being an elitist prick because Muggles are innovative and just as, if not more so, intelligent than wizards and witches because they’re adaptive’ end quote?” 

Hermione nodded as she took the proffered wine from him. Tom took a long sip out of his own glass before he continued his story. 

“Well, after that argument, I decided to take your advice and experience the lives of Muggles. Since it’s summer and I have nothing else to do with my life besides being Mr. Granger, I enlisted Abraxas to help me blend in and, babe, you cannot believe the utter bullshit that Muggles have to deal with out there. I subscribed to BBC and get notifications each morning and let me tell you.” 

Hermione pursed her lips as she placed her wineglass on the kitchen counter, mentally preparing for whatever bullshit Tom was about to deliver to her. 

“Apparently, there’s this thing called Brexit going on and from what I’ve gathered — I may not be correctly informed, I’ve been told that I’m receiving ‘fake news’ — the UK is leaving this thing called the European Union this year but not everyone is okay with it. Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, and England are pretty much divided over the issue.” 

She listened patiently as he droned on and on about his findings, taking large swigs out her wineglass while he refilled it without prompting. 

“. . .and so, I was at the pub and there was this Scottish person who wanted Brexit to occur arguing with this Londoner who didn’t and I inputted some things and next thing I know, there’s an entire pub brawl occurring.”

Hermione scoffed in disbelief as she drained her wine, stopping Tom from refiling it a fifth time. 

“What, because you’re no longer taking over the world, you decided to incite riots instead at pubs?” 

Tom reached out and pulled Hermione towards him before kissing her squarely on the lips. “You told me that you wouldn’t marry a tyrannical dictator. So now, I am nothing but a humble schoolteacher. It’s my job to educate the masses. I can’t help it if they become angry about it and start rioting because of the information I provide them with.” 

Tom had a silly grin on his face that was so uncharacteristic with his usual stoicism that she couldn’t help but smile as well before she frowned harshly.

“Stop!” She pushed at his chest and bit her lip to prevent the smile that was trying to form again. “Stop it right there! I am upset with you, Riddle!” Her finger swished indignantly in front of his face. “Stop trying to distract me with that.” She gestured toward his face.

Tom grabbed at her one finger before uncurling the rest of them and kissing each tip chastely. “Of course, love. I apologize.” 

Hermione smiled softly as she looked at him with obvious affection. “What am I going to do with you? You’re already in trouble with the Ministry for trying to teach your students ways they could get away with using magic at home. How are we going to get you out of this mess?” 

“Don’t you worry! I already have Abraxas on it. His family has business dealings in the Muggle world and they have a Muggle lawyer already on retainer. He’ll be representing me.” 

“You’re not going into the Muggle world without me in the future and I will talk to the Minister when I get back to work tomorrow.” 

Okay. I don’t know where to begin with this. I’ll do my best to help you make sense of my own thought process. 

I will also preface by saying that this is my own personal characterizations and headcanons for them. This is not an invitation for you to agree or disagree with me (though feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t jive with you).

Tom Riddle: I think this his has been discussed before, but I will start by stating that I don’t think he was born without the capacity to love based on the circumstances of his birth (love potion). I think that’s bullshit and creates a two-dimensional villain that does not make a reader struggle. It’s easy to hate him, and that’s not necessarily what I am now trying to achieve when I write him (at least, it’s become my new direction with his character). 

I think this is a nature vs nurture phenomenon. The circumstances surrounding his development lent to his fixation with death and with mastering it. I think, genuinely, that death is a metaphor for his loss of control over his person. Death is what led to his being left in an orphanage, after all. The ability to not own things for himself as well as to have a private space for himself, too, may have exacerbated his desire for control and stability. 

It is speculated that given the conditions of an orphanage in Britain around the 1930s to1940s, it may have also provided a ripe environment to divide himself from the people surrounding him. Whether this be physical abuse or negligence, it is still debated. Either way, however, I think either form of abuse adds to his desire for more. When you have nothing, you covet everything. To get a taste of grandeur is to whet the appetite for more.

And Tom covets. He covets everything.

The muggles? I think in a way that his hatred was born of his envy for them. Even with how special he thought himself to be, the muggles still had something that he didn’t: a place to belong. The children of the orphanage? They stuck together. Tom didn’t, whether by his own choice or through alienation from others. So to some degree, at some point, he did crave others--to be understood and belong. 

But with the continued perversion of that through his own upbringing and his illusions of grandeur and victimhood, he began to hate it. He simultaneously wanted and loathed these bonds. And I think, that adds a layer to his continued disdain for muggles, aside from his decision to other them and treat them like the scum beneath his shoes.

(Also, I don’t think Tom is unfeeling at all. I think he has such a vast capacity for emotion that it is almost suffocating. He is good at hiding and repressing it, but it is there. It festers inside him, boiling over until it erupts into fits of rage and other displays of violence.)

Hermione Granger: She is the third member of the trio, but we don’t know much about her character outside of Harry Potter. We know she’s brave, logical, brash, temperamental, and ruthless. We know she is thirsty for knowledge and that she wishes to use that knowledge to reach a practical end (as opposed to theoretical). 

But I think that her intelligence doesn’t extend only to the logical realm, but to the emotional. I think she has a solid grasp of emotions and how they affect one’s ability to rationalize. The fact that she does not think with her emotions does not mean that she is not capable of understanding it. 

She cries several times throughout the series, in fact, so to strip her of this particular source of humanity detracts from her character. She is strong because she is well rounded. She doesn’t disdain emotions as Tom does nor rejects these kinds of bonds, but she does set them aside where necessary. 

Also, just because this is my own personal take, and anyone is free to disagree with me, I think that a point her and Tom have in common is in the desire to belong. She thirsts for knowledge, but she spends her time trying to show off just how much she knows because she wasn’t born into the wizarding world. She is an outsider even if she has magic and she feels it. When she is being made fun of for answering questions in class or when she tries to help others, but otherwise just makes others feel inferior, she in her 11-year-old mind, is trying to bridge the chasm between her background and theirs in the only way she knows how. 

LOL oh no.

You were ready to defend my honor <3 

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

I like to collect bullets from guns. For every gun I’ve used at a shooting range, I sort of just keep a bullet. I think they’re pretty cool and sleek. It’s a weird thing I collect, and for once, not fandom related.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Cooking and eating food. Spending time with people I genuinely care to be around. Indulging in my fandom things. When my favorite stories are updated lmao. 

I have simple needs.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

HI!! Thank you for asking!! <333

7) I do not have any tattoos yet but I have plans of having some soon!!

9) I only have my ears pierced. :) 

19) I am highly emotional and extremely sensitive. I blame it on my Cancer Sun and my Cancer Moon. 

Hi!! Thank you for asking and for interacting with me.  

1) My day has been okay. I have been running errands for my mom and my grandma thought she wanted a new iPhone so we went to the Apple Store and after three hours, she decided she wanted to keep the one she already had. 🙃🙃🙃 You can imagine how I was feeling. My family is very small and we’re Buddhists, so we don’t celebrate Christmas, meaning these next few days are just chill off days where we watch movies, drink wine, and go shopping. It’s quite nice to just spend time together. 🥰

2) A confession! When I was six, I was placed in ESL (English as a Second Language) classes which made me FURIOUS because of three reasons. 1 – I already spoke English, 2 – my sister was bullied for speaking English poorly so she made sure I knew English before I started school, and 3 – my grandmother taught me how to read and had me reading before I even started school. So, in my six-year-old anger, I told myself that I was better than all of my peers and I would prove them wrong for placing me in ESL. Fast forward, throughout my entire K-12 education, I read ALL THE TIME and consistently had the highest Accelerated Reading points (I have three trophies in my room from it) and graduated as one of the top five in my class. In conclusion, my academic success was fueled by sheer pettiness and anger over being wronged at the age of six. (This is also me bragging because I’m still upset over being put in ESL for having a slight Asian accent. I now have a completely Southern American accent.)

<3 yay

10. Which character do you relate to most, and why?

This is going to be so obvious, but Hermione Granger. She reminds me very much of myself, especially with how I may come off to others: obnoxious when I know something and high-strung. 

She works hard, is loyal almost to a fault, and she isn’t afraid to cut corners for those she cares about. Always, I think, to the detriment of her own well-being. 

I think I am similar in those respects.

16. Who would be your enemy or enemies at Hogwarts?

I don’t really know. I’m pretty sure I’d end up having a bone to pick with anyone espousing racist and supremacist garbage to students that can’t otherwise defend themselves. I can’t think of a particular person, but if someone is being an asshole, I’m probably the first to rip into them for it.

17. Who would be your best friend at Hogwarts?

You mean wives.

It would probably be Hermione. I could also appreciate Luna Lovegood and Ginny.

19. Favourite Weasley?

Ships: Tomione/Volmione

Rating: E

Tags: Alternate Universe- Religious, Blasphemy, Demons, Fallen Angels, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Deal with a Devil, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Snake-faced Voldemort.

AN: As you know, I don’t understand the concept of drabble or prompt. Have at it. Also, I am NOT taking prompts lol.

You can read the entire thing on here on AO3. This is only the first scene.

“No!”

Hermione rattled the bars of her prison, incensed.

They couldn’t do this to her. They couldn’t.

She had to save him, to protect him. They’d eat him alive out there, alone, in the human world.

Harry.

She had to find him, to do something. He was her charge. What was a guardian angel without her ward? What was a guardian angel that failed to keep its ward’s soul from being damned?

“Well, well—”

Hermione froze, her hands dropping away from the magicked bars to take a step back. She knew that voice.

How could she not? No one could ever forget the voice of one of their own. Even it’d been centuries since he’d fallen.

“—what a pleasant surprise.”

Hermione grit her teeth, eyeing the shadows clinging to the walls of her cell. They sank into the cracks of the stone, bled and clung to the corridors far beyond her reach. Endless.

It was like gazing straight into an abyss.