#many-wings

very cool to see another person very passionate about this series! i grew up on 2003 (and the 90's movies-- my parents had the third one on cassette and i remember i wore that fucker out lmao) but it was always more of a "scattered interest" rather than something i was fully pulled into

i started getting into rise (read: The Algorithm came for me) probably mid-July of last year, but didn't fully fall into it until after the movie came out. it renewed my interest in tmnt overall, and i've been here ever since!

i did attempt to watch the usagi chronicles a couple of times, and i remember thinking they were fun but not really my thing. (i definitely want to revisit it, even though i know it won't hold a candle to usagi yojimbo. it does look fun in a silly way, which i can get behind.)

i knew vaguely about how big usagi yojimbo was, and that it was a commitment, but i'm surprised how quickly it sucked me in. i've never been super interested in stuff within the genre, but damn if it doesn't satisfy the autism. entire chapters devoted to infodumping about the edo period of japan? sign me the fuck up!

i especially did not expect how much it would make me feel. like. wow. ouch. usagi is just Some Guy but he is also so well characterized and you really feel for his internal conflict, 10/10.

i've been looking for series with older protagonists, especially those more focused on the familial/platonic aspect rather than romantic (i am just an nd queer on the interweb, can you blame me for yearning for found family?), but hadn't found any i really liked other than the tarot sequence by kd edwards (very good read, would highly recommend.)

also not to be a nerd but ohhhh my god i am so obsessed with the plot with mifune.

like i know the series takes place after that, and after the fallout of that, but just. wow. imagine devoting your entire being to another, to the point where you would readily die for them and their word, and then they die. they die, and you did everything you could to honor them in that death, but they're still gone.

like... that emptiness stays with you. you don't just get over that. maybe it's the "being raised in a cult" but wow, do i empathize with that.

idk if we explore more about the fallout/exact history with mifune/immediately following mifune's death but there is so much writing potential there. if i was not embroiled within turtle hell and 50,000 words deep in a multi-chapter fic already, i would absolutely write something for it.

like. this is adjacent to your interest in the topic, but can you just imagine (/rhetorical /general you.) as far as we know, he spent five days on the battlefield before he made it out to the tangled skein.

(which is one of my favorite additions like good god holy shit. that is so cool and angsty. your lord, days after dying, appears as a fucking ghost and saves you. like, if i were to be silly and funky, i would absolutely headcanon that as the reason that he was able to stand up and continue on. because i mean... what else? what else could motivate you to stand up once more after something like that?)

(well. honor. but mifune is the physical manifestation of honor in the narrative, so same difference? it's like both thematically significant and emotionally significant and-- ok im shutting up now. but i could talk for days, istg.)

but like. how do you reconstruct yourself from that? we see him holding tight to this sense of honor, even after his lord is gone, sent reeling (adrift in the waves) with only his soul and moral compass to hold to.

which makes it hurt so much more when we see these ideals of honor-- this ghost of a man, of a life, still haunting him years after the event-- still woven through the narrative, made to specifically conflict his deepest wants.

i joke about it a lot on my fic discord (i have a whole channel called 'father-material' devoted to just pictures of him hanging out with/taking care of kids), but something that seems very important to him is wanting to be a father figure, and wanting these connections to family and friends.

but that is contrasted against these ideas of honor, the very thing he built and rebuilt his foundation off of after it was torn away from him. and it's just so incredibly painful but also it makes sense, because he can't just give up the side of himself that is a samurai. too much of his person, his characterization, is built off of this.

to see it constantly clash with this want to settle down and finally rest, devote himself to his relationships/family rather than the code of bushido-- the very essence of honor itself-- ourgh ourgh ourgh its so good

(put aside the fact that he once said he could never serve another lord, and we know from the story that the idea of a "lord" can be more than just a person... he never stopped serving mifune, not truly. he still upholds the ideas of honor that mifune stood for/represented. as if his lord never truly left him.)

...i was going to say more, but then i realized this turned into a whole-ass mini-analysis, so i'm forcing myself to stfu. but basically: i have feelings about this series, man (/gender neutral).

anyway. if you ever do put something together, i would love to read/follow it! if i ever wrote something, it would probably be exploring the direct fallout of losing mifune, so hey, different niches but similar (:

also: never be anxious about talking to me ever in any way possible. i will probably be even more annoying than you in tags/asks/everything under the sun, and i do genuinely love talking to people who share my interests (typically about those interests.) i like to pretend i am an internet Cool Guy, however, it is a flimsy veneer to hide all the cringefail swaglessness and unending mental illness about my blorbos

(...i am so tempted to just invite you to my og turtle discord server so i can annoy you about usagi on the regular. also about what my reimagining of yuichi would be, because i have so, so many ideas.

i will refrain, but if you would be interested, it has been kinda dead as of late, so it would be nice to enrich the ecosystem a little by slowly collecting other usagi-interested individuals and slowly taking it over, one by one (/j /lh).)

anyway, same thing goes for me with my posts/asks/reblogs/messages/whatever. i am so very earnest, so if that puts you off, that's very chill and fine. however, as long as you're down to vibe, i am similarly down to vibe >:D

i once more apologize for this monstrosity of a reply. i would say it won't happen again, but my reading comprehension apparently does not extend to the "all things in moderation" maxim. instead i choose maximalism (to the max)

His feet are pounding against the asphalt decking of the roof. His breath is coming in ragged gasps that are not enough to drown out his hammering heart. Turtles don’t sweat, but liquid is pooling where his neck meets his shell, warm, but cooling rapidly. His brain hasn’t quite caught up yet. He is running too fast, even now, even despite.

He does not look back. It would take too long, cost him the precious seconds he has fought for so hard. Instead he stares ahead into the moonlit dark, scanning the rooftops in front of him for corners, hiding places.

In front of them. His hands clench into fists around clammy cloth. Turtles don’t sweat, but mammals do. His feet slip on a patch of moss, and he staggers as he tries to regain his balance. Bend the knees, lean forward, elbows in, two steps, leap. He clears the gap between buildings only just. The air is burning in his lungs now, like it is trying to claw its way back out of his throat. This rooftop has chimneys. But that won’t do. They will expect that.

Usagi’s voice is raspy, barely more than a wet whisper, but not even his own screaming body can drown it out.

“Leo.”

“No,” Leo says, growls, gives the chimneys a wide berth. Another jump, and this time he can feel Usagi flinch at the impact, can feel the fragile body slung over his shoulder tighten reflexively when his feet hit another rooftop.

Usagi whispers his name again, but Leo doesn’t slow down. He knows what Usagi wants to tell him. He won’t have any of it. He won’t.

“Leave me,” Usagi whispers into his shoulder, his hands feebly trying to push against Leo’s shell, nails scratching but only just. His blood is running down Leo’s bare arms now, hot, then cold, then freezing. Leo’s head is swimming. He knows it is only a matter of time until his knees give out. He reaches for his cell again with his free hand, pushes the emergency button again, a feeble attempt at a status update in case anyone is listening.

“No,” he says again, then hisses when he smacks his leg on a potruding brick. He doesn’t mean to slow down. He has to keep running. They are still miles from the lair, miles from any tunnel he knows. But his body can’t take any more. He barely manages to slump behind another chimney, a useless attempt at concealment, like the trail of blood won’t give them away better than a neon sign.

He puts Usagi down as gently as he can, tries to check on the gash in his friend’s side without thinking about it too much. Failing. His hands are shaking too much to tie another knot into the bandage, and he is struggling to hold on to his dinner. Usagi’s eyes are wide, his mouth agape as he struggles for breath. Trying to speak again, no doubt. “Don’t you dare,” Leo tells him through clenched teeth, rage and helplessness and fear and exhaustion slurring his voice into a dark growl. “I will never. Don’t you dare suggest that again.” He takes a deep breath, then another one, feeling like he is the one drowning. “They will come. You’ll be fine.”