#mammamia2

For one night and one night only...

It's been just over a year since I first drew Donna in her iconic outfit, so here is the redraw but this time with the rest of the Dynamos!

Please don't repost without permission 🤍

Sometimes, there is a movie that so boldly defies the constructs of logic, time, plot, society, reality or gravity that we have to collectively decide if we can accept it as it is or let our eyeballs roll into the Mediterranean. And then sometimes that movie has a sequel. This is that sequel. This is 2018. Our lives are a garbage fire and this movie is a chardonnay soaked poncho blowing in the fake Greek breeze. I suggest we soak it up because it might be all we have left that might bring us joy. EVEN THE WIGS. Let’s discuss. 

We begin 10 years after the last movie (or maybe just 5? Or maybe sometime in the early aughts for the flashback timeline to work or maybe just who cares?) and we are dealt a terrifying blow that no movie should ever start with: MERYL STREEP IS DEAD. WHAT. NO. WHY THOUGH. Like everything in this movie, it is not explained why or how this happened. It is just something we must sadly accept and move on to learning more about her former self as played by Lily James because just go with it.

Back in England (?) of 1979 (??? again, do NOT do the math), Meryl Streep aka Lily James aka Donna has just graduated from college with her two best gal pals (aka the Dynamos) and has used it as a forum for singing b-side ABBA songs. Most of the a-side ABBA songs were used in the last movie so just take what you can get. 

Lily James is fine and doesn’t wear a wig and is perpetually tan and being called brave and has a nice singing voice and falls in water a lot. She is certainly no Meryl Streep but we must all count our lucky stars that Young Donna was not played by Anne Hathaway or (SHUDDER) Taylor Swift. THINK ABOUT THAT. Her two gal pals (aka young Tanya aka Christine Baranski and young Rosie aka Julie Walters) do have wigs and they are actually ok! The pixie cut on Rosie is a little upsetting but it’ll do in a pinch and this Tanya bob is 1000x better than anything Evangelline Lilly wore in Ant-Man.

The most troubling part of these flashbacks with Tanya and Rosie is that we are led to believe that their fabulous girl band, DONNA AND THE DYNAMOS are not actually as fabulous or world-renowned as the first movie (or stage play) would have had us believe. I guess they just performed maybe in college and had some great bellbottom costumes and ultimately just performed once for a few Greek people at some rando restaurant? Huh? Still, great bellbottoms.

We also meet the young versions of all of Amanda Seyfried’s would-be dads! First up is Young Sam (aka Colin Firth) in this busted ass wig. Man wigs are always bad and this one is...not great. This is the best wig of the trio and he’s the best singer of the dads, though, and gets the one non-b-side: WATERLOO! As performed by a French waitstaff in Napoleon costumes because OF COURSE.

Back to that hair: please someone make better man wigs.

We then meet Young Bill (aka Stellan Skarsgard). He is absolutely the most handsome of the dads but is wig is: WOOF.

Even covered up in a sailor hat: I see you, wig.

We then meet Young Sam (aka Pierce Brosnan) - Donna’s ain’ true love who she ends up with before dying for some reason. Sadly, Young Sam is the least attractive and has the worst wig of all the dads.

LOOK AT THIS SCRAGGLY ASS THING. When he ultimately breaks Donna’s heart I wasn’t even sad (also because we know they get back together) because GOODBYE BAD WIG.

Back in present day (????) all the dads are looking good and wigless and having the goddamned time of their lives dancing on boats and wearing whatever the hell quilted shirts because WHO EVEN CARES YOU DO YOU. There are many many more b-side ABBA songs to be sung!

A friend of mine described the musical sequences as feeling like karaoke videos which vaguely have a plot but really make no sense. This is exactly right and the whole movie basically is a long strung together collection of karaoke videos which as a whole add up to less than nothing plot-wise but truly everything fun-wise.

Speaking of fun: Christine Baranski and Julie Walters.These two ladies are having the wine-soaked Mediterranean girls trip of our goddamned dreams. Julie is wig-less and Christine’s wig is as perfect as her high kicks. The quality of this wig - the texture and perfect imperfections - rival perhaps only Julianna Margulies as far as wigs you could wear every day to work and fool all of America’s moms in the process. And for that, this movie clearly has the correct priorities. May we all be blessed with Christine Baranski’s wig budget someday in our lives. 

WAIT I TAKE IT BACK. MAY WE ALL BE BLESSED WITH CHER’S WIG BUDGET. So yes - EFFING CHER is in the movie. Yes, she is 3 years older than her “daughter,” Meryl Streep but as I said: DO NOT DO MATH IN RELATION TO THIS MOVIE. 

So here’s the thing: if we view this as hair that Cher is passing off as real hair, then....this wig is a no for me. But who are we kidding? Cher hasn’t showed up without a wig in almost as long as our Lady of Perpetual Wigs, Dolly Parton so of COURSE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS IS A WIG IN THE CONTEXT OF THE MOVIE. So on that level, this wig is basically RuPaul quality which is to say: PERFECT.

Also Cher wears 2 WIGS (and this second one is truly blessed by Mama Ru) so: yes, we should definitely believe these are just great wigs. And like everything in this movie: JUST GO WITH IT HAVE FUN. This movie is a fever dream of nonsense but OH MY GOD do I want to just live in it.

I truly believe that the only antidote for the garbage fire of 2018 is Cher walking down some stairs in a silver tinsel bolero singing “Fernando” to Andy Garcia wearing a neckerchief while fireworks go off in the background and 200 gay men applaud (I saw this in Chelsea). If this scene cannot cure what ails you, then we are all just doomed. 

Oh and Meryl DOES show up in the end to sing us all into a sobfest and why did they have to kill her off again? SOBBING.

In the end, my verdict was a tough call because all 3 young dad wigs are so godawful but both young and old Christine Baranski wigs are wonderful and: EFFING CHER. Since there is no math in this movie, and just because, I’ve gotta go with Cher.

VERDICT: WURQS

You thrill me, you delight me you please me, you excite me you're something I'd been pleading for I love you, I adore you I've been waiting for you