#mamacostia

Anacostia:Don’t stay up all night, Raelle. Last time you got this sleep-deprived you tried to eat your own shirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~

*Sometime during Basic*

Raelle:*standing on a ladder* I’m scared

Anacostia:Do you trust me Raelle?

Raelle:Yeah

Anacostia:Then come on Cadet

Raelle:*Falls backwards and hits the ground*

Anacostia:Rule number one, never trust anyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anacostia:Adopt kids they said. It’ll be fun they said.

Tally:*in the kitchen*Put it out! Put it out!

Raelle:it’s too big to smother! Get the anti-flamethrower!

Abigail:It’s called a fire extinguisher!

*glass breaking, An explosion, and screaming*

Anacostia:Don’t listen to them, it’s not fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Raelle:Have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Anacostia:I keep a list in your file

Anacostia:It’s alphabetized

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anacostia:Why are your shoes wet?

Tally:There was a puddle

Anacostia:Why did you step in it?

Tally:It was a puddle

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anacostia:So, you lied to me?

Scylla:That depends on how you define lying?

Anacostia:Well I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?

Scylla:Reclining your body in a horizontal position

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anacostia:I can’t believe none of you wished me a happy Mother’s Day

Izadora:You’re not a mother

Anacostia:*pointing to the core four* Are you fucking kidding?!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anacostia:Scylla! Is that blood on your face?

Scylla:Yeah but it’s not mine

A 101 guide by Scylla Ramshorn; Edit by Anacostia Quartermain

1. Find your target and befriend them. Know their weakness and exploit it.

Edit: Fall in love with your mark. Show everyone how whipped you are for her, and let them know how she’s your weakness—so much so that they use her in the end to break down your walls.

2. Disguise and discretion is everything. Have many faces ready to change into.

Edit: Change faces or use work out in the open, where literally anyone can see. Oh, and be careless while you’re at it. Examples: Stare at yourself in the mirror as you change faces in an enemy base, while waiting for your mark to show up at the last minute; Light up your face at an enemy base with guard patrols at the dead of night, or at a wedding event full of ‘enemies’; Talk to your boss on a public toilet without checking that everything is clear, then proceed to talk about your ‘nefarious’ plans about kidnapping someone (mention their name, too, by the way); Try to use working the moment you enter a Camarilla gathering.

3. Always be vigilant and be mindful of your surroundings. Be one step ahead of the enemy.

Edit: Be so clueless that you think you outsmarted your ‘enemy’ in letting you go after being captured, but you end up leading them straight to your headquarters. (Please also refer to previous guide and examples.)

4. Always be prepared for the worst and have a back up plan.

Edit: Charge head on without a plan and barely survive through the worst on pure luck and with the help of other better-prepared companions. Examples: Murder someone or make them commit suicide on broad daylight without so much as a cover up (and be saved by Spree cover up); Attend a Bellweather elite wedding event without invite (and get vouched for by girlfriend); Sneak up on a Camarilla member and end up being the one snuck up on (and be saved by Anacostia -_-); Enter a Camarilla facility through the front door (and be saved by Willa); Leave the door open as you try to go through enemy’s surveillance (and be saved by Willa… again).

5. Don’t blow your cover, no matter what.

Edit: When all else fails, use your real identity as a diversion even though the odds are against you. Confess you’re a witch (a Spree one, at that) and proceed to survive on pure luck… again. (You may also use this tactic to sass your interrogator when you’ve been captured. -_-)

6. Never reveal your emotions. Be stoic. Have self-control.

Edit: Freak out inwardly AND outwardly every time you did something dodgy and when you get caught (like when trying to lie to your girlfriend after you’ve indirectly killed your ex, or when making small talk after killing someone’s husband and getting caught exiting the house). And of course, gay panic every time you’re near the love of your life. Screw having no emotions. Give her heart eyes and make sure everyone sees how much of a simp you are. (Please refer to guide number 1.)

7. Keep your mind on the mission. No distractions.

Edit: Try to abort mission the moment you see your ex, who’s still the love of your life and still looking ever so gorgeous with her really cool hair. Examples: Stare at a picture of your ex and pine away even before the mission starts; Have flashbacks as you walk through the mall where you murdered civilians, and be so distracted with your feelings of remorse that you failed to see an ‘enemy’ spying on you until she showed herself on the podium -_-. (Please also refer to previous guide and examples.)

8. Don’t be suspicious. Know where to hide or flea, in case of worst case scenarios.

Edit: In the midst of chaos, stay and listen to your ex as she makes a speech mentioning you—all while hiding behind someone and looking suspicious as hell. Then after that, proceed to stare at each other for a second before disappearing. Oh, and leave a crumb (like a picture), just to affirm your being there.

9. Have sleight of hand. A skill in thievery might come in handy.

Edit: Be so obvious that you want to steal something by staring and pining at said object, and then get caught not even a minute after stealing it.

10. Be an adorable sass to manipulate people into loving you even though you’re a murderous and evil Spree agent.

Edit: No arguments.

End.

W ell, that was that. Wouldn’t it be funny if Anacostia had actually been watching Scylla since the beginning and was witnessing all her epic fails as a Spree agent? And those are one of the factors why she knows she can sway Scylla into changing paths? Lol. Farfetched, I know. Oh well… I had fun procrastinating and writing this. Gotta get some shuteye now. Can’t wait for the season 2 finale.

Raylla lists/ rankings:

Ranking Raylla kisses (s1&2)

Raylla moments (03x01)

Anacostia: let’s see if you were all paying attention

All she wants is to protect her fellow witches and live in peace.

Raelle: learns the horrors about how the Mycelium was created from her dead mother

Tally: confronts Alder in front of all of the War College witches, the president, new General Petra, and new Head of Intelligence Mamacostia about Nicte, willing to die and fight for the truth and for Nicte not to die, revealing hundreds of years of secrets