So yeah. I’m going to be 29 tomorrow. Am I too old for this fandom? LOL

29. 29. 29. Here’s my last post as a 28-year-old. I don’t make many personal posts, so here’s one. I’m sure I’ll enjoy reading it later when I look back. I’m not normally this cheesy, but if you’re one year closer to 30, you can’t help but feel a bit differently. 

 I don’t feel like celebrating at all. Not because I’m nonchalant or pessimistic about aging, I’m just so (blissfully) tired lately because of work and I’d rather sleep. But of course I’ll celebrate. Of course I’ll go to another city with my friends because the current one we live in becomes so dead by 9pm…that’s just how it is, that’s why we’re all going to Busan. Isn’t that what people my age do?

Mannn….29.

But….I love my life and I can honestly say I’m so proud of where I am. I hope you are, too. How are you, reader? Friend?

I finally moved out of my parent’s house. I have my own place and I work in a different country. I love my job and surprisingly so, it loves me back. I can go to any country that I want to during my vacations. I am…where I need to be. Adulthood? Maturity? But whatever it is, it wasn’t easy.

Because a year ago, things weren’t easy. And the year before that. I lost another friend to suicide. I lost friends. I ghosted people. Karma got me, and I was ghosted and abandoned by someone whom I thought highly of. I had no career path and I was absolutely lost and really didn’t know what my place was in this crazy thing called life. I was at the very bottom of rock bottom and I was getting buried by my own failures and shame.

But I dared to get out of the very same hell hole I created and succeeded. I went back to school to study again and get certified in another field. I packed my life in a Northface bag and two suitcases and left everything I knew and loved as I boarded a plane to South Korea. To be quite honest, what propelled me to make this drastic change was heartbreak. The heartbreak of losing friends. The heartbreak of failing myself and others. The heartbreak of uncertainty and insecurity.

I learned to be alone and triumph over depression and homesickness. I learned to embrace the lonely nights that were filled with nothing but the heaviness in my heart that plaqued me for months. Boy, it was a struggle but I learned so much about myself and others. I can’t say I’m fully whole now, but I did get off antidepressants. I no longer suffer from anxiety and depression. I no longer have a toxic mindset and attitude that drive people away (I work on it everyday) It’s been a year and a half. I learned to control my anger and I learned to love myself just a little bit. I travel to different cities and countries on my own. I’ve embraced solitude because it gave me a chance to heal. I’m better. Stronger. Alert. More grateful.

I listen more and talk less. I can’t say I’ve become introverted, but I am a bit wary of people and I keep to myself most days. I have a few friends here in this new country and I’m learning so much. I’m not as trusting, but I am wiser. Wiser and older. And a little bit sadder. But I’ve reached a level of contentment that I’ve never experienced, and I feel like I’m contributing to this world and the society that I’m in because of my field of work and who I’m becoming. I no longer rely on people and their validation, and I can honestly say that I’ve become independent not just financially but also emotionally. I’m not as cowardly as I thought.

 I’m a different person.

 And yet….

I’m still the same? I’m still here on Tumblr. I’m still passionate about Frozen and the billion other things that I love that you see me post and write about. 

If you’re reading this and if you’ve reached this sentence, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. For following me, for looking at the content I make and the content I reblog. For some that messaged me and befriended me—thank you. Thank you for giving me your time and thank you for your kindness. Tumblr has been a source of refuge all these years and each and every person I’ve met and interacted with helped me become the person that I am now.

Thank you, Frozen fandom. For all the laughs, the drama, the friendship, and most of all, the love that you have for Elsa and Anna. Thank you for all your thoughts, contribution, passion, and zeal. I truly can’t wait for Frozen 2 and all your squeals. :)

Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. If we’ve met before, just know that I may have loved you and still do. If we’re no longer friends and you’re just reading this randomly, just know that I hope you’d forgive me one day and I hope you’re well and happy. The door will always be open if you want a restart. I’m just here. :)

I’m writing this as I sip my second cup of tea. It’s 2:13PM in South Korea and I just ended all my classes. Tonight, I’ll meet up with my friends to discuss my birthday plans and what we’ll watch for movie night next Monday. 

Well, considering that nearly every hipster I’ve seen has at least some plaid (and the red tartan/red and black is almost always one of them)…

A/N: This is a little something for @blunaowl. And no, it is not based on Your Name by Makoto Shinkai aka the heartbreaking and mind shattering movie that literally left me maimed and questioning life for all eternity. I wrote this because the prompt is super cute, and @blunaowl sent me bracelets based on the actual Your Name movie *cries unattractively*. Random but cute coincidence. 

Pairing: Tadashi x Elsa

Based on this prompt: iv) you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

from this lovely AU/OTP prompt ideas list. 

“Diana Prince.”

Tadashi paused, pulse quickening by the second, his permanent marker hovering over the empty coffee cup held by his his other hand, “Diana Prince… as in Wonder Woman?” he leaned a little closer, just in case his ears were playing tricks on him.

The girl in front of him didn’t resemble Wonder Woman, but she was just as unreachable and stunning like the goddess whose name she was borrowing. 

With long, platinum blonde hair tied in a ponytail and disarming blue eyes that could only belong to a deity from the island of Themyscira, Tadashi was nearly certain that he would’ve believed her if she said she was a queen from a magical kingdom in a far away place. She was absolutely mesmerizing. 

He wasn’t sure what her super power would be, but by the looks of it, ‘Diana Prince’ was already an expert in making him forget his words and freezing him in place with a single grin.

“That’s right,” the ridiculously attractive woman said casually as she crossed her arms. “I’d like to think that I’m a super heroine,” she smiled as Tadashi scribbled her ‘name’ on her cup. 

Tadashi chuckled nervously, running a hand on his hair, still in a state of disbelief that he was actually having a conversation with her. “Well, you were Batman yesterday,” he countered, regaining a little bit of confidence, before handing the cup to his co-barista who was in charge of preparing the drinks. “He’s not exactly super hero material, you know. More like... an anti-hero?”

The girl who called herself “Diana Prince” had recently become a regular customer at the local café Tadashi worked at. She was a familiar face, the newest student in Callaghan’s Advanced Engineering Mathematics, the class that came a period earlier before his Robotics class. He’d seen her around campus but she kept to herself so he never did quite get her name–her real name–since they didn’t share lectures together. Though she frequented the café, she used various monikers whenever she ordered her coffee - always choosing fictional characters, historical figures, or literature authors to identify herself with. 

She was strange, and Tadashi couldn’t take his attention off her. 

“You’re right. Maybe I’ll be Joan of Arc next time?” ‘Diana Prince’ suggested, rubbing her chin in thought as she rested a hand on her hip, shifting her weight from one heel to the other, “But she was condemned as a witch and she also died a very painful death,” she added, her eyes widening while she let out a quiet gasp. “I don’t wanna jinx myself. I’ll think about it…”

Tadashi blinked a few times, the tips of his ears burning, his mind both blank and disorientated. My god, we’re actually talking. Like, for real talking—and she’s a complete nerd.

When Tadashi didn’t answer and kept staring with his mouth half-open, ‘Diana’ tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and her face started to turn into a blotch of pink. “Am I being weird? Okay, I’ll stop, and I’ll order my coffee with my actual name—”

“No-you’re not being weird at all!” Tadashi exclaimed rather loudly, cutting her off, his hands up defensively, “you can be whoever you wanna be… and uh… I really wanna know what your name is since we go to the same school and all… but, uhm, please feel free to be Batman again, a rebel, or an intergalactic thief,” he rambled on, a hand flying to the back of his neck.

“You’re really cool and creative and I think it’s awesome,” he murmured before lowering his gaze down the counter, feeling the heat on his cheeks intensify.

A cloud of awkwardness hovered over them momentarily until “Diana” decided to break the silence with a single word that immediately drew Tadashi’s eyes back to her.

“Elsa,” she muttered in a quiet voice, her arms wrapped around herself as she fixed her glance on her shoes, her face just as red as the barista’s whom she’d seen around school. The same boy that had grabbed her attention once or twice. Maybe thrice. 

Tadashi couldn’t believe his ears. Could it be…?

“Elsa…?” he repeated slowly and carefully, confused and delighted at the same time. The name didn’t sound like it came from a Marvel comic book, Harry Potter or Star Wars. He wasn’t sure why his heart was starting to beat faster, almost soaring. Judging by her expression and the increase of red on her face, the girl seemed like she was sharing something personal and looked rather bashful.

Finally lifting those insanely blue eyes to meet his, the girl that had been in Tadashi’s mind drew in a breath before opening her mouth once more.

A/N: I haven’t written in nearly a year and a half, and this is something I came up with earlier this week since I’m on vacation and I finally have time to get lost with stories and endless world-creating in my head. 

I miss writing. 

My favorite fandoms collided once again: Supergirl and Frozen.

I hope you enjoy this unlikely (and let’s face it, super impossible) encounter between two very powerful, super gorgeous, and super tragic ladies, Elsa and Lena Luthor.

-Aiko

Elsa hated riding the train by herself. Sitting across an empty line of seats, she hugged her suitcase closer to her chest, savoring its faint and fleeting warmth. It was raining all day, and the gloomy clouds above didn’t help in soothing her already dampened mood. She sighed as she swept her bangs to the side with her fingers, wondering whether or not she should get off at the next stop and call for a taxi. She felt a little drenched, but she couldn’t be bothered wiping the droplets of water hanging on her sleeve with her handkerchief, so she brushed them aside with the back of her hand instead. It wasn’t like she was going to get sick from that little exposure to rain. And if she did, it didn’t really matter much.

And…why the hell was she commuting using public transportation anyway? She had her own driver and her own limousine, but she still found herself inside a New York City subway train.

The only logical reason she could think of was the need to be alone for a while.

Relax. You’ll be there soon.

There were so many things that were running through her mind that needed to slow down. She yearned for silence that she could not afford— the very thing that she despised yet ironically wished for in that moment. Deadlines and projects and meetings escaped her as thoughts that she had been suppressing the past few weeks reared their ugly heads once more. The ringing in her ears gradually disappeared. But images of memories that were still so fresh and vivid danced before her mind’s eye.  Words she wished she never said, words she wished she’d said, promises that were made just to be broken, and those light brown eyes that always lit up like Times Square whenever she entered the room, gripped her insides as wounds that barely healed started to reopen.

Wait. They weren’t light brown…they were a little bit darker than that—like the color of fresh, hot cocoa that’s served during Christmas morning.

Elsa never felt so homesick and lost as she remembered the apartment that she probably won’t ever see again…and that cracked, wooden door that she no longer had a key for. She grieved the end of her relationship and the object of her affections like that person already departed this world and moved on to the next. Breathing was hard most days. Functioning was nearly impossible.

So this is…yet again…another heartbreak.

Every hour spent without Tadashi––the very name that made her crumble at the mere thought and mention of it—was just as good as drowning and ceasing to really live a full life. Elsa couldn’t really remember that last time she truly and genuinely laughed. Was it with an employee last week? What was it about? Was it even funny? Since when did laughing become a part of something that she had to do and not something that just naturally happened?

Even on her worst days, the only jokes that could evoke a quiet grin were ones that Tadashi shared with her. Elsa remembered this particular joke about some snowman and reindeer that were fighting about carrots or something—it wasn’t even close to funny, and she didn’t even think it was a proper joke at all, but remembering an overly eager Tadashi tell the joke was enough to help her get through the numbing ache she felt on a daily basis since they broke up.

I chose this. I broke with with him. I left him. I need to just…suck it up and accept it.

But oh, how she missed his laughter. It didn’t help that she moved back to her airy and huge apartment back in Park Avenue, where silence surrounded her lonely room and its big halls. The place was not fitting for one person. Her bed was too spacious and lacking warmth. It wasn’t home. Tadashi wasn’t there and she didn’t want to be there either.

And Anna isn’t there….

Elsa consciously—and forcibly waited for the second wave of grief to subside. These waves are bigger and stronger, ready to swallow her whole if she gave it another moment of attention.

Instead, she pushed herself to focus on the fleeting inside jokes that lingered in the hidden corners of her mind. She knew she had to let go. But a small, stubborn, and relentless part of herself hung onto each word to help her get through those lonely and miserable nights that never seemed to end. She tried to cut her losses, she really did, but that didn’t mean she was left unharmed from its aftermath. The cuts, the bruises, and the residues of what could have been and what might have been tore every fragment of her inner being to the point where she wondered if it would ever stop hurting.

It was hard to differentiate living and existing. Most days, she didn’t know why she even bothered waking up. The deadlines, the company, the wealth and accolades—it was all for nothing. Garbage. What. Was. The. Point.

Anna….I need you….mom…dad…..

Shivering and biting back the tears the were mere seconds from falling, Elsa pulled her coat tighter around her waist, realizing that she miscalculated her surroundings. A few seats down to her left was a woman shooting her glances—and across from her were two extremely huge and intimidating men wearing black suits. Since she was so consumed by her thoughts, Elsa had no idea when these people entered the train and from which stop. In her peripheral view, Elsa could tell that the other woman was someone important. Based on her sophisticated outfit and elegant appearance, Elsa guessed that she had to be a socialite or the head of some company. Or both. It was always both.

Either way, she didn’t care. Wrenching her thoughts away from the image of a redhead with ocean green eyes and the other woman who silently observed her, Elsa’s short reverie came to a full stop when she realized that she just missed the station where she was supposed to get off. Another miscalculation. She used to take the train with Tadashi and she never had this problem before. Blinking in an attempt to read the flashing sign near the double doors, her heart sank when she realized she boarded an express train.

“I guess I’ll call my driver,” Elsa mumbled under her breath, brows furrowing as she tapped her phone to open her Contacts app while simultaneously ignoring the woman who was still staring at her. No reception. While the train zipped through the bridge, buildings blurred and reduced to an array of colors, tired, blue eyes darted back and forth against a dimmed cellphone screen.

Elsa quietly prayed for cellular reception but to no avail. Just as she was about to curse the heavens and the train’s weak WiFi service, the sound of heels clicking and clacking interrupted her panicked thoughts as she slowly lifted her head up from her phone. “Elsa…Elsa Arendelle?,” the woman asked with a huge smile on her face, “I can’t believe that it’s actually you!”

It took a good few seconds to register what was happening as Elsa moved her mouth wordlessly, dumbfounded and caught off guard by the person standing in front of her. How could she fail to recognize who this woman was? The embodiment of everything that was causing her stress and anxiety—and the very face of the company that almost ruined her parents’ business and livelihood? Staring at her with brilliant green eyes and a perpetual grin held by the most refined jawline was none other than Lena Luthor, the newest and youngest CEO of LuthorCorp.

Uncharacteristically disheveled and slightly bloodshot, Elsa straightened herself and forced a grin. “Hi, Lena…fancy meeting you here out of all places,” she said as her social skills started to kick in again. She was trained for this. She wasn’t allowed to give her top rival a reason to think that she was deterred and unprepared.

Lena’s smile never left her face, her eyes not leaving Elsa’s figure even as she began to take a seat right across from where the blonde was sat. “Well,” Lena started, clapping her hands once before folding them on top of her lap, “I can’t say that I’m not pleased to see you here—but do you need a ride? My limo is waiting outside of the station at the next stop. I could drop you off your place if you want,” she offered, noting Elsa’s hands and how tightly she was gripping the handles of her suitcase.

But to her relief, and even though she wasn’t particularly thrilled seeing Lena, Elsa was glad questions of why she was taking public transportation weren’t brought up.

Elsa pressed her lips into a line. “This is an express train. It’s not going to stop until we reach 71st  Street.”

To Elsa’s surprise, Lena began to chuckle at her statement like she just said something hilarious. “You don’t have to worry about that. It will stop at the next station,” she replied with a smirk.

“Ahhh….”

Of course it’ll stop. She’s also the co-owner of New York City’s subway system. How did that slip out of my mind? That’s why she’s here. She’s making sure her trains are working properly. 

Elsa fiddled her fingers restlessly, her head dipping low once again. “I’m not going home right now,” her voice was almost inaudible, her frame shrinking as she tightened her grip on her suitcase once more. Lena could only quirk a brow at Elsa’s sudden change of posture.

Interesting. Lena wasn’t used to seeing the usually posh and graceful Elsa Arendelle, CEO of Arendelle Corporation, this distracted and awkward. She was used to Elsa’s cool demeanor and fast responsiveness, and this behavior was something she had never seen before in all the years that they’ve known each other.

Lena held back a sigh. The smile that was plastered on her face slowly disappeared as she regarded the girl that sat inches away from her. Something was terribly wrong, and Lena was quick to put aside the fact Elsa was her rival. Forgetting the strife between their families and business politics, Lena lowered her guard and tried for empathy.

“What’s wrong, Elsa?” she asked, lowering her head to meet Elsa’s eye level.  When Elsa didn’t reply, she tried again, “I’ll take you wherever you need to go, just tell me.”

No reply.

As she was about to open her mouth again to persuade Elsa to take her offer, Elsa met Lena’s gaze with a small smile that didn’t match her eyes. “I’m going to the hospital. I’m going to visit my sister, and I’ll ask her doctors if she can finally come home with me.”

Lena was quiet as she continued to stare at Elsa, registering the words that she just said. Taking Elsa’s odd behavior and crestfallen appearance into consideration, Lena suddenly had the urge to kick herself for momentarily forgetting about Elsa’s predicament. It had been nine months since she last heard of the Arendelle family’s tragedy, and this was the first time she’d seen Elsa since the accident and the death of her parents. She was forbidden by Lillian to attend Agdar and Idunn’s funeral, and to take the place of Lena’s guilt and anger, Lillian pushed projects after projects to occupy Lena’s time. 

Time had a funny and sadistic way of moving on and propelling people to join it. Lena felt her heart twist with guilt as she finally understood the gravity of Elsa’s situation: Her sister was still in the hospital fighting for her life.

Lena swallowed hard before attempting to speak. “Is Anna okay?” she asked carefully, regretting it immediately when Elsa looked down again and bit her lip as if stopping herself from crying. 

Inhale. Exhale. “She’s still in a coma,” Elsa replied in an almost whisper like she had been punched in the stomach. “It’s been nine months and she still hasn’t woken up,” she added while avoiding Lena’s sad eyes.

The train stopped just as Lena said, and her bodyguards stood up from their seats awaiting her orders. Lena waved them away with a hand to go on without her as she made her way to sit next to Elsa. “Look, I know we don’t get along very well but…I really want to take you to the hospital,” she paused and added, “Please? It’s still raining outside and you’ll get there faster with me…I can help you talk to the doctors, too. Only if you want.”

Lena didn’t want to beg, but if Elsa still refused, she would resort to that until Elsa was safe and sound inside her car.

Elsa chuckled dryly, much to Lena’s surprise. “You really wanna help an Arendelle, Luthor?”

Lena couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that. “You did help me pass Organic Chemistry once in boarding school, Elsa. Let me return the favor,” she answered, dramatically putting a hand over her chest as if expressing gratitude.

They both shared an awkward giggle before their eyes met once more. Blues staring at greens. A Luthor face to face with an Arendelle. But for once, for the first time in a very long time, there was no hostility. No flash of anger. No bitter words exchanged.

After a moment of silence and an unspoken understanding shared between the two, Elsa offered Lena a proposal she couldn’ refuse. 

A CEO to another CEO.

“Do you wanna see Anna with me?”

Lena didn’t know why, but she could feel her heart swelling with joy upon hearing those words. “Of course,” she replied almost too quickly, her smile returning to her face. “Do you think she’ll mind?”

Elsa shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. She likes you a lot and she thinks you’re actually a good person,” she teased, smirking at a frowning a Lena.

“Get out of my train,” Lena grumbled while gently shoving Elsa to the subway’s exit doors, hiding the fact that she felt like she had just won a Pulitzer or some sort of lifetime award for making Elsa Arendelle smile even for a bit. “I am a good person.” Pause. “I think.”

Elsa let out a soft giggle before turning to her side to look at Lena. With a smile that finally matched the brightness of her sky-blue eyes, she looked at Lena Luthor, the ridiculously kind, gorgeous, and misunderstood girl who befriended her so many years ago, and uttered the words that she knew were true from the very beginning: “I know you are. You are a very good person, Lena.”

The skies had started to clear up, and the sun was beginning to come out of its hiding. It wasn’t raining anymore, but the cold gust of wind caressed Elsa’s face as she entered Lena’s limousine. She wasn’t exactly sure how this reunion came to be, but it didn’t matter because for the first time in weeks, she won’t be alone. Though her heart still throbbed, sitting next to Lena gave her an unfamiliar sense of peace. Peace that the public wouldn’t accept and dare to understand. Peace that could destroy her father’s and Lena’s father’s empire. But she didn’t care. Not right now anyway.

What were the odds?

Who would’ve believed it? An Arendelle and a Luthor sharing a laugh?

It’s impossible.

But today—even just for today—Elsa Arendelle and Lena Luthor are friends just like before.