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end of an era

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Is it wrong to expect substance from music in the alternative/punk scene?
The crap thing about becoming successful and/or genuine with a certain type of subgenre, whether itâs pop punk, post hardcore, or metalcore, is that, soon after, a lot of lyrically and musically inferior bands come out to cash in on the trend.Â
Enter Makeout from Rhode Island. Formed out of the ashes of generic but musically superior post hardcore band Like Monroe, it makes sense that theyâve written with 5SOSâ Ashton Irwin and Calum Hood as Makeout sounds like a 5SOS ripoff thatâs trying to be edgier. The key word is âtryingâ. They're about as edgy as a 13-year-old wearing eyeliner, listening to Brand New, and claiming âItâs not a phase, Mom!âÂ
Take the song âSecretsâ. One of three singles from upcoming album âThe Good Lifeâ, thereâs little to like about it other than an oddly specific but creative insult that says: âgo choke on a hot dog from 7-11â. I love a good angry song as much as the next person but I can think of four songs off the top of my head that are lyrically and musically more creative than the tripe that this song is.Â
The aforementioned Brand New has one of my favorites called âSeventy Times 7â, I Prevail has âAlready Deadâ, and Set It Off has both âHypnotizedâ and âWolf In Sheepâs Clothingâ, âSeventyâ has so many âholy shit, did he really just say that?â moments that you have to listen to the song 3 more times just to get the full effect. Some of my favorites include âSo don't apologize. I hope you choke and dieâ and âSo, is that what you call a getaway?/Tell me what you got away with/Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish/I've seen more guts in 11-year-old kids/Have another drink and drive yourself home/I hope there's ice on all the roads/And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt/And again when your head goes through the windshield/And is that what you call tact?/You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back/So let's end this call, and end this conversation...âÂ
The lyrics are also self-aware: âAs if it happening wasnât enough, I gotta go and write a song to remind myself how bad it suckedâ.Â
There isnât a smidge of self-awareness to find anywhere in any of the stuff Iâve heard so far from Makeout.Â
âAlready Deadâ, âHypnotizedâ, and âWolf in...â are bound to make the listener say, âwell, damn, who pissed yâall off?â with lyrics like âIâd pull the trigger but youâre already dead/if I could bring you back to life/Iâd kill you againâ and âWanna add a habit and light about 30 cigarettes? (You should)/Youâre only mad about the fact that I put a light to you/basically tracing paper when all we see is right through you!â and finally, âIf I could kill you, I would, but itâs illegal in all 50 states. Having said that, burn. in. HELL.âÂ
The music in these songs also creates a foreboding atmosphere what with the hammering drums, angry vocals, and dark sounding guitars.Â
âSecretsâ is so inexcusably juvenile that youâd think a group of 12-15 year olds wrote it, but no, the members of Makeout are 20+. In other words, theyâre old enough to know better and should know better, especially with such big names as super producer John Feldmann and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker working with them. Thereâs nothing musically enjoyable about it either as itâs acoustic strumming with no variation during the whole song.  The cringefest continues for two more minutes after the hot dog line with lyrics like â...âall the money I spent on Sephora while I was on tour and you were with Kevin No more Nobu on my bill, you broke bitchâ and âYou blew it with your bullshit, you fucking whore/And every time I think of you I'm sick/And I bet you still think that you're the shitâ. This is insultingly bad writing and it makes me angry that they exploit every bad millennial stereotype in order to be relatable: âI stayed awake watching porn on my iPhone/It's almost like I don't need you/I wish I knew it was easy as this then it wouldn't have taken me this long to leave you/Postmates me some sushi almost got me feeling human/Sugar daddy, I bet you already got a new one/I'm a do my best to make sure your life stay in ruins/And everybody knows that you're a bitch, say I won't do it.âÂ
This exploitation continues if you take a look at the track list for âThe Good Lifeâ:Â
1. ChildishÂ
2Â Crazy
3 LisaÂ
4Â Ride It OutÂ
5 Open MindedÂ
6 You Can't Blame MeÂ
7 ClockworkÂ
8 Till We're GoneÂ
9 Salt Lake City Lyrics
10Â Secrets
11 Where's My ChargerÂ
12 Blast OffÂ
Their first single, âCrazyâ, came to my attention when it was on my Spotify playlist, Release Radar. Itâs also the only one of Makeoutâs singles that wonât have you scrambling for the skip button. Itâs catchy and bouncy enough to jam to if you donât listen to the lyrics too closely. There are less cringe moments than on âSecretsâ, but thereâs still at least two: âYouâll be out all night then you sleep all day/Gettin' way too high, but Iâm fuckin' with it anyway/Maxinâ out my cards when I just got paid/Went and crashed my car/Itâs the same shit just a different day!â and âEvery time youâre sexinâ me/Feel like Iâm about to lose it girl youâre fuckinâ deadly...âÂ
âRide It Outâ is as generic as it gets when it comes to songs about dysfunctional relationships: backing vocals crooning âwhoa-oh-ohâ, slow, major chord opening, and equally as generic lyrics.Â
Says the chorus: âDon't let this burn out/just leave your guard down Cause when I dream about you here I wanna ride it out (ride it out)/Know when you fall down/I'll have my arms out/âCause when you're lying next to me I wanna ride it out (ride it out)...â So romantic. Every girlâs or guyâs dream words (said with extreme sarcasm): âThis is basically a shitty situation but Iâm too stubborn to let it go.âÂ
The song continues with this: âBreathe you in/The nights we shared I'd like to live again/Seemed like seconds that would never end/Can we pretend?âÂ
The listener is then treated to another unbelievably juvenile lyric:Â âStop the clock/Draw our futures in the pavement chalk/Stretch the moments when we lock our eyes/And feel the light again...â The second and third graders I work with LOVE pavement chalk. i think that says everything. In somewhat related and hilariously ironic news, their Genius lyrics page doesnât have a picture of the band, just a silhouette of a baby crawling on the floor.Â
If you think Iâm being too harsh, listen to these train wrecks for yourself and let me know:Â
âSecretsâÂ
âCrazyâÂ
âRide It OutâÂ
Iâm also on Twitter and Instagram @ writergirlfl.
Sam for the name playlist please!
S. Samâs Town - The Killers
A. Absinthe - Idkhow
M. Make Room!!!! - My Chemical Romance
Ty!
-Send me a name for a playlist
MAKEOUT, Vans Warped Tour 7/15/18
MAKEOUT 3/23/18

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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