By far the most pervasive personal criticism I've gotten throughout my two decades of adulthood is that I "care too much about what other people think". Which, when aimed at my sometimes overly-people-pleasing disposition -- see my previous post (reblog) -- is often a fair one. But all too often the "care too much what other people think" framing is a sort of shorthand either for my modeling what is most likely true on a sort of majoritarian basis or for my caring about other people's feelings as well as their likely reactions and the consequences of those reactions, and, as I'm sure I've vehemently stated before in this space, I have a profound passion not only for defending such tendencies in myself but for advocating that they be adopted by more people.
I'm especially reminded of it when I encounter someone who runs into the same social/professional enemy-making drama with multiple independent groups of people over years and doesn't come to conclude that the common denominator of all of these incidents is themself and that maybe they need to do some introspection and change rather than endlessly blaming more or less Everyone Else or The Rest Of The World for having the wrong attitude.














