#maidenless

Nobody told me that Elden Ring is actually kind of hilarious at some points? The first merchant you meet is literally dressed like Santa. There's a mirrored helmet that keeps out the influence of the Outer Gods - it's a tinfoil hat that works. There's a JAR and he's from JARBURG. The sheep roll around like Sonic. Some guy is called "The Shit Eater". Games like Saints Row or Borderlands do backflips to be seen as "quirky" and yet nothing but nothing is funnier to me than emerging into the majesty of the Lands Between, and the very first person you talk to immediately calls you bitchless to your face.