I SHIP THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU’VE GOT ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE

Marvin picked at the rose in his hands. “He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not,” he whispered sadly, dropping the petals on the grass. “He loves me not,” he picked off the last one, almost immediately grumbling a magic spell that made one more appear.

“He loves me,” Marvin smiled, throwing the stem in the air and watching it disappear.

“AHHH,” a shrill scream sounded from the house, causing Marvin to shoot up and run into the house.

“Jackie?!” He asked, staring at Jackaboy Man who was standing on the far corner of the bed. He wondered over, finding a small spider that sat on the opposite corner of the bed. Marvin chuckled, squatting down and pushing the little spider into his finger.

“What are you doing!?! It’s gonna’ kill you, Marv!” He yelled, backing up farther into the wall, almost tearing up.

“It’s just a little baby, Jackie, it’s harmless,” he smiled, watching it crawl up and down his finger. Jackaboy Man slowly and cautiously stepped off the bed, plopping down on the floor.

The magician turned, opening the window and letting the spider out. “All taken care of,” he smiled, spinning back around just in time to see tears start spilling down his best friends face. “Jackie..?”

“I’m supposed to be a brave superhero, but I’m just a no good fuckin baby,” Jackaboy Man cried, hiding his face with his hands. “Scared of goddamn spiders.”

Marvin sighed, clutching the ends of his cape in his fists. “Hey,” he cooed, “It”: okay to be scared of things. Just because you’re frightened by spiders doesn’t mean you’re any less of a hero.“ Marvin grabbed his friends hands, taking them off his face and holding them in his lap. "You’re /my/ hero, Jackie.”

He looked up, tears still strolling down his shiny blue mask. “You really mean that, Marv?”

“Of course I do.”

“Yes,” Marvin said with a chuckle.

“It’s one or the other, not both,” Chase explained, pointing at the list of rules.

“Boo.” Marvin chewed the inside of his cheek. “I can’t pick.”

“Same.” Chase lifted his hat a little to scratch the top of his head. 

“Just think, if the other was in a different room right now and you wanted to tell them that you wanted some fun, which one would you send to get them?” Anti asked, getting a look from Dark that told a thousand stories of what Anti has done.

...today I remembered and Thoroughly Appreciated the existence of marvelsepticeye as a ship

"Vibrators." Char answered the first one without any hesitation. "And the next one-" Chase gave Marvin a slap on the rear as an answer.

"Listen here ya little-"

"Everyone I've been with has been smaller chested, so small boobs." Chase shrugged, cutting Marvin off. "For the last one-"

"Face-fucking." Marvin answered for Chase before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him off.

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More examples of the face that Stacey pulls that my Husband hates :)