#maero

*------------Veteran Child-----------*

You once had everything, you were a music artist once upon a time, no one that anyone these days could remember but you were up and coming. You premiered on the Generation X station, you did everything on that station, from interviews to just 'radio talk' with the other DJs. You grew close to one, everyone thought you were an idiot for liking him so much, but you always lived by 'the heart wants what the heart wants.' And your heart wanted Veteran Child, it was slow but your idle flirts over the radio and lingering touches off the air soon became bodies clinging for each other, gasps of excitement from sunken teeth into each other's flesh, warmed cheeks from just glancing at each other.

Everyone knew you two as the 'lover birds' of the radio station, you were Veteran child's [Girl/Man/Person]. You were so high up in the clouds (in more way than one) you barely realized what was happening, you didn't see the warning signs, the waving red flags. You waved off the concerns from your friends about Veteran child's new 'friends', you didn't listen to anyone when they tried to warn you that he was walking with one of the new gangs that made their home in Stilwater. You were still in the honeymoon phase of your new-found relationship, Veteran child never said anything either. The only time he got personal was when he complained about his past, his exes, whatever whenever he was high.

But your bliss came to a halt, he started changing before your eyes. Finally, the wool was ripped from your eyes. He barely texted, always sounded irritable whenever you called, he stopped holding your hand and kissing your lips whenever he saw you. He was so distant.. You threw accusations at him, believing he was cheating on you, that he was doing more than what he said at those universities he often visited. After your third confrontation he broke your relationship off, he left you and barely even looked at you. The station was filled with so much tension everyone felt they could cut it with a knife.

You never noticed the lingering glances, his hand twitching whenever he passed by you, the walls he had built up not to 'get rid of you' but to protect you. Everything the others said was true, he fell into the wrong crowd and once his new 'bosses' started threatening him.. threatening you, he pushed you away for your own good. Eventually you grew tired of being around him, your heart ached to just hold his hand, to feel his body against yours- gods you were pathetic. You left the station, even after your friends warned this could mean losing your career.. you still left; it wasn't worth it anymore in your mind. After you and Veteran Child broke up, you felt you were grasping straws to stay relevant. You lost so many fans from rumors that held no evidence, you were painted online and through people's minds as the 'villain'

Oh god how you wish you had stayed, how you wish you had just grown the balls to talk to Veteran Child- to demand some sort of answer to the millions of questions you had, to confront him with the rumors your friends had told you. Maybe you could've saved him, maybe you could've helped him.. But that was just wishful thinking. Before he died, he sent you an ominous text, one that at the moment only pissed you off.

'I love you, you know that right?'

sent at 3:22am

'I get it I fucked up, I'm sorry.'

sent at 3:25am

'Just don't be upset okay?'

sent at 3:28am

'I love you'

sent at 3:32am

You didn't message back, you debated on it. Kept writing and erasing probably a million responses.

'Why are you texting me?' 'What the hell do you want?' 'Leave me alone' 'I hate you' 'I love you. Call me'

But you settled for silence, you went to bed and that decision would eat you alive. When you awoke all, you saw were texts from your friends, piles of 'I'm so sorry Y/N's to 'If you need anyone I'm here'. You were confused; did you accidentally text your thoughts to someone by accident? The second you called your friend though, your heart stopped beating. Veteran Child was dead, your knees felt weak, you felt as if barbed wire was tangled around your throat, you hung up without a word of confirmation. After you searched for the remote to your TV, every news station was talking about the death of such a well-known DJ, your DJ.

You feel like shit for crying, for begging for this to be a nightmare. He had been killed while holding someone hostage, multiple witnesses saw it. He kidnapped some girl, drove like a maniac on the road, started a fucking war between two gangs that injured and even killed so many, then he died in his own club holding a poor girl hostage. You shouldn't be mourning him, but you couldn't help the pain that resided in your chest. He was once your whole world, the guy who as stupid as he can be used to hold you so tightly that you felt like the sun.

Years passed, you learned more about the situation, but you never went for revenge. It wouldn't be right, even if the girl was a drugged-up gang member (your friends' words) what Veteran Child did was just... evil.

No, instead you stuck to yourself. You moved out of Stilwater and moved to the city, you tried to get your music career back but all you could do was upload your songs onto the internet. You grew a small following and every so often others recognized you, you'd get a range of comments as you scrolled.

NoraNate111

'Wow this song was so good, it brought tears to my eyes!'

ClockworkManiac

'Aren't you the person who was with that DJ? Veteran Child? You ever gonna do a story time?'

TheHunterWithRed

'Click here for free 500 subscribers!'

You wondered what he'd think of you now, your days of posting more 'energetic' music was over. All you posted now were songs with hidden meanings tracing back to him, you also rarely posted. Most of your songs were just gibberish given even years later hearing his name would cause you to break down.

Then one day all the stations tuned to an emergency broadcast, you had been checking your social media accounts, debating once again to delete them when your TV tuned from a re-run of 'The real housewives of Stilwater' to an emergency broadcast. Aliens were attacking, you almost for a second thought you were high or drunk- then you remembered you've been sober for years. Just like any smart person would do, you ran outside just to see people being taken left and right. Floating upwards into the sky, before you could turn and run back inside a sickly red colour enveloped you. You began to be pulled upwards into the space craft, all while you thrashed and screamed for help only for no one to save you.

You were sure you were dead, you don't know how long you've been here but you're sure it's hell. You were stuck reliving the nightmare of losing Veteran child, but instead of the memory you knew- you were in the club with him. You kept watching him die, his cries for help, his own voice blaming you for something you couldn't control. You were stuck here on loop, and every time he was killed by your own hand it would all just reset. Over and over, you lived through this nightmare, you began to cry and beg to be forgiven, apologizing to something that resembled your long dead ex.

When you were saved by the Saints it was awkward, the girl who was kidnapped questioned you (rather aggressively) about your relationship with Veteran Child. Once she got it, she just stormed off and chose to ignore you. Some assured you that it was just because of Veteran Child, while some just kept their distance. You learned Earth was gone, everyone you had cared for, your friends, your family, and the only thing of Veteran Child you had left was all.. gone.

You had no grave to visit anymore, no friends to vent too, you barely knew these people and in turn they barely knew you. You spent most of your time in the simulation, having grown a friendship with Kinzie at least if no one else, some would say you were lucky to not die with everyone else on Earth. But was it luck if you had no one? Even with so many people emerging from those tanks, and the Saints ensuring everyone was okay you still felt so lonely. The simulation was your solitude, whenever no one else was using it Kinzie would reform it into Stilwater for you. You would be allowed to feel like nothing happened for a bit, Kinzie had warned you of the 'AIs' that existed within, but you never felt worried about them.

As much as you tried to feel normal in the simulation, the glitching walls and people reminded you where you were. You weren't home, you couldn't go home, even once you found familiar places you would once call such, you couldn't enter. All you could do was stare at the lifeless windows of your old shitty apartment, or stare at the still image of your parents' home, hell you couldn't even enter the old Gen X station. All you could do was walk the streets, drive a car, enter a few specific shops.

That's what you were doing now, having asked Kinzie to not watch you this time you just strolled down the familiar sidewalk near Gen X. Passing by it made you feel somewhat normal, you could at least imagine the others inside waiting for you. Oh gods, you raised a hand up to your face as you used your thumb and index finger to wipe away the tears. But it was no use, they cascaded down and you had to step away from the sidewalk. You broke down, falling on your knees. You felt sick, could you even throw up here? Or would it just make a mess in real life? Shit were you crying back on the ship?

As you were crying, your free hand on the wall for support you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n? Is that you?" Your eyes widened, for a second you felt utter panic. Fearful you were back in that god awful nightmare simulation but then hearing the tone- not one of hate and disdain, but one of genuine concern. You felt hope, getting up you turned to face him not sure what you were expecting. There he- or well.. an AI of him stood, just as your heart and mind had accepted that this was him you took a step back as his face shifted. Reminding you once again where you were, this wasn't him just a... AI with his face. You looked older while he still looked the same, now that you could actually look at him it put into retrospect just how long ago you had lost him. You were in your thirties now and he was still twenty-four, you wanted to reach out- to touch him but you knew it wasn't him. This was something programmed to be like him, he stared at you with hardly an emotion truly showing what he was.

Before you could utter the words Kinzie pulled you out, having already read your thoughts. After that encounter you busied yourself on the ship, anything there was to do you'd do it. All to avoid the AI of someone you craved to see again, sometimes whenever you're hanging out near the simulation area you can hear his voice begging someone to tell you that he wants to talk to you.

*------------Maero-----------*

You were once a member of the Brotherhood, one of the lieutenants right next to Matt and Donnie. You were more special than them though, why? Cause you were Maero's [Man/Girl/Person]. You two were each other's type of crazy, what could be more romantic than two maniacs in love?

You and Maero met through his crew, you had joined up cause the other two gangs that hung our Stilwater just- didn't resonate with you. You wanted to feel and be powerful instead of sitting in your apartment like a little bitch. A couple months in, a built-up friendship with Matt and Maero took an interest in you. Before you knew it you two were driving around in one of his cars while you swung a baseball bat at whatever came close. You two had that type of physical love that made others around you hurl, you thought everything was perfect that Maero and his crew were unstoppable. Then that bitch woke up, five years in a coma and oh so quickly she began to unravel everything your man had worked hard to make. He was so generous to, he offered a deal only for her to be greedy and refuse. You were sure Maero was gonna kill her, you had no doubt in your mind about your boyfriend's strength.

The Saints left you all alone, it was quiet and then she kidnapped you, threw you in a trunk of a car and by the grace of whatever god was watching over you- you lived. Your arm was broken, and your chest hurt to fucking breath. Maero pulled you out and that was the first time you saw your boyfriend so genuinely worried that he almost looked ready to throw up. You were stuck in the hospital with Donnie to watch over you, Maero and Matt visited whenever they could, Donnie came and went until soon you were alone. You didn't understand, nobody would tell you anything, you couldn't reach Matt or Maero anymore. Did Maero decide to break up just because you were in the hospital? Did.. something happen?

It was Donnie who told you, you were blowing up Maero's phone a mixture of texts ranging from pleas for him to text you or visit you to aggressive insults that you would immediately take back a couple seconds after sending. You weren't close to Donnie, not like you were with Matt, but you accepted his presence. There while you laid in your hospital bed, Donnie took a moment to nervously rub his neck as he tried to find a way to tell you. Then he just straight up told you, your whole world ended that day. You felt sick- in fact you did proceed to throw up in a nearby trashcan. This couldn't be happening, you accused Donnie of lying, tried to call Maero and Matt but with no answer from either you forced yourself to accept it.

You were a mess, after you healed up you parted ways from Donnie. You were always at some shitty bar drinking your life away only to end up in the alleyway beside said bar to puke your brains out. What could you do with your life now? You left everything behind for Maero, you weren't sure where you two would go in life, but you were so sure about him. You can't count how many times you'd see the Saints growing success and pick a fight with their cardboard cutouts, they had become the bane of your existence. They took Maero from you, they took Matt from you, they ripped a part your friends just because they couldn't accept a deal that could've been worked out in the future with trust.

Eventually your pity party ended once Donnie came back in your life, you were sure he was gone for good but- here he was at your door offering you a job at his new auto shop. He was offering a fresh start and knowing any day now you'd be kissing this apartment goodbye with the lack of money in your account- you accepted. It was hard at first, the fucking cars reminded you of Maero, anyone with a mullet, muscles or sleeves of tattoos made you wanna return to your bad habits. Donnie had to pull you together sometimes and slowly you grew used to life without Maero, you and Donnie became successful or well at least in Stilwater you two did. You moved on, it was hard to date but you stopped being haunted by the ghost of Maero. You mourned, grieved and went about your day.

It did hurt sometimes to look in the mirror, down on your thigh laid Maero's name with a heart behind it. Faded now it reminded you of how much time passed when your reflection didn't. You still had your moments, whenever you stared at a picture too long you would burst into tears. You wished you had done more than just 'let it happen', you question why you didn't fight back. Maybe it was the gun in your back, or the way the boss twisted your arm so harshly you felt it crack. Maybe you should've told Maero to back out, get the other gangs help so you all could've taken the Saints out- or maybe you should've convinced him to just accept their deal. You realized over the years you and your boyfriend were cruel bastards, he especially. You're sure not even he would've accepted a deal that low, if only you had the sense, you own now back then maybe things would've been different.

You and Donnie were working on a car when it happened, hell you can hardly remember the panic since you two were grabbed so quickly. You remember the fear though, you and Donnie's screams as you watched the shop disappear from sight. When your eyes opened it was like everything was a dream, it was dark- suffocating. Then you heard it, the revving of an all too familiar truck and the distant cheers of an audience. You knew where you were, back in the trunk of your own fucking car. You thrashed, banged your fists against the trunk of the car begging for someone to save you, terrified that the events would play out like your nightmares.

The first time was painful; shit every time it started over it was painful. A whole new memory compared to the one you still had night terrors about. You'd beg for your life till your voice grew hoarse, clawing at your metal coffin till your fingers bled, you'd be crushed but still horrifically alive, or at least maybe aware? You couldn't tell. You'd hear him and that crazy bitch talking, then the trunk would open to the face you've longed for. He'd fall onto his knees to cry before you, then it would start over. Was this hell? Had those aliens killed you and Donnie? Were you were atoning for the sins you had bathed yourself in?

Eventually you stopped begging for help, you stopped clawing at your own trunk, what was the point when you knew how this all played out? No one would save you this time. Except this time, as you laid there preparing once again to feel the repeated pain of being crushed- it never came. Instead, the trunk flew open with a face you didn't recognize, not until she spoke at least.

"You're not Carlos."

Your eyes widened at the familiar face of your boyfriend's killer; too many emotions ran at once as you stared at her. Feeling anger, desperation, happiness for being saved. You didn't know which you wanted to feel more, you didn't get a chance to think on it when she grabbed you by your shirt and yanked you out. Years ago, you would've been ready to pounce on her, and fucking kill her for what she did, but you had lost that fiery spirit years ago. Instead, you curled into yourself as your body ached with how roughly she pulled you out. The boss you had loathed began to pace back and forth, tearing at her own hair as she came to the realization her long dead Saint wasn't here. You sat up, and against better judgement you spoke with malice. "Were you expecting someone else?

The woman didn't take kindly to that, her foot made contact with your jaw and you fell back. Holding your hands up to cover your face, she was ready to do more when a.. voice echoed throughout the area. "Boss, we don't have time for this. Deal with your grudges later, we need all the help we can get if we wanna defeat the Zin." You blinked confused, lowering your arms as you looked around. You didn't recognize that voice, where was it even coming from? "The wha-?" The boss groaned annoyed, rolling her eyes as she grabbed you by your forearm- hauling you up. "Aliens invaded Earth, we all got abducted by them and forced into simulations, I'm trying to find whoever I can to help, and Earth is gone." You watched as she walked off, barking at you to follow before she leaves your sorry ass in here. Your brain processes before jogging to follow as you shout out a "what-?!"

So that's where you are now, working under the Saints thumb. You truly don't know what's worse, having your boyfriend kill you a hundred times over or working for the people who killed your boyfriend. You were always near a reminder that your boyfriend was gone, all your healing was tossed into the nearest bin whenever you looked at them. The boss, Pierce, Shaundi, you almost felt some god was fucking with you when the boss found Johnny, who you had been told repeatedly was dead. How the fuck was that fair? He gets to live through anything, and your boyfriend's body was no longer even a thing. You wanted to rip someone's arm off once you saw the two smooching- or anyone acting 'lovey dovey' for that matter. You felt.... alone, you hadn't felt this since Maero died and you locked yourself away for weeks till Donnie pulled you out of your house. The feeling now was more intense, the older Saints didn't trust you, sometimes you caught them glaring at you. Your word to them meant shit, your actions were always questioned, what was the point of saving you if all they were gonna do was mentally torture you? The 'newer' Saints were at least alright, you and Ben got along given you both were the 'villains' at some point, same with Matt.

Ironic, you almost chuckled at how you became friends with another Matt. This one wasn't like the one you knew though, this one was a nerd, British, younger too. While your long dead friend was a drummer in the Feed dogs, Maero's tattoo artist and a year older than you.

But none of them were your friends, the Brotherhood you once knew nor even Donnie. As much as Ben King himself tried to be a shoulder, to comfort you and assure you that you'd grow used to the boss's bad temper and how the Saints rolled- you just couldn't adapt. You needed to get away; you never went into the simulation. The boss didn't trust you enough to call for your backup, and you were still reeling from the previous simulation you were forced into. But you decided to step in, asking Matt to keep everything 'private'. You weren't planning to do much, you just didn't want Kinzie barging in to question what you were doing, or for the boss to find you and start shit.

You never got to see Steelport so this was all new to you, it didn't have the same atmosphere that Stilwater had. You didn't want to push your luck by asking Matt to change the simulation more than he already had, in fact you weren't really sure he could change more given it was still mostly under Zin control. You wore your old outfit, you were sure the boss would have been petty enough to force you to wear a purple variant- but no, it was still that same red hue. Geez, you couldn't even remember the last time you wore this outfit. You had packed it up somewhere in your old apartment when you were grieving, your hand ran down the fabric that covered your chest for a second before you paused and forced your hand by your side again. You weren't really sure what to do, would destroying things help you? Could you drink in here and still feel the effects?

Just as you were pondering over the question in your head, a sound caused your brain to cease function. A sound that had crept its way not only into mind and heart but into your soul, you paused on the sidewalk listening as the revving engine grew closer before stopping beside you, blocking the fake traffic. Your head turned just as he opened the driver's side door, there he sat in his driver seat looking down at you. He didn't reflect your surprise nor the tears you felt welling in your eyes, you don't know how long you stood there till he finally spoke up. "Long time" you nodded slowly, no words able to come to mind. You knew this wasn't him, Maero was dead- this was some 1's and 0's with his face. His body shifted with a small glitch, same as every other NPC in the simulation. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel before he nodded his head to the side, towards the passenger seat "hop in"

You wanted to refuse, to step away and let Maero vanish back into the hundreds of other fake people. But your legs acted first, you made your way to the side the door already open. You smiled at that, just like the real Maero he opened the door for you. You climbed up and in, once he closed his door you closed yours. As you two drove you both talked about various things, how life had been, what it was like to be in a simulation etc etc. You felt alive again- you didn't feel so lonely anymore. As his driving grew aggressive when someone cut him off you laughed a laugh you hadn't heard in God knows how long, you clung to his arm as your old craziness returned. "Get 'im Maero! Run that stupid bitch over!"

For the moment you ignore how static-like his body felt, you ignored how the world around you two was fake, you ignored how you were the only living thing in this entire simulation. You were back to your roots, clinging to your man as you watched his cruel nature take over. When the car that had cut him off was nothing more than a pancake, you turned and kissed him fiercely. Like every time whenever he would show his aggressive side, you held his face as you kissed him so hard you're sure that your lips were gonna bruise. He kissed back, hand still on the wheel while the other held the back of your head. His eyes barely paid attention to the road, his focus was on you and gods- you felt ready to take him right there. When you pulled away, gripping the open collar of his shirt that's when you began to remember where you were. It wasn't from watching his eyes sway like a TV screen, or the static feeling underneath your fingertips. It was when you opened your mouth that you realized "You think Matt's having a concert? We should go see hi-" Maero's hand enveloped your wrist, his eyes staring into yours "Matt's dead Y/N, this isn't real remember?"

You paused, staring at him as your mind began to remind you of the mourning, the grieving you had gone through. You let go of him and his own hand let go of your wrist, fuck- you wanted to cry, you felt pathetic as realization hit. You two sat there for a long moment, your eyes drifting to the streets that now seemed too empty. Then Maero's hand grabbed yours, tightly like before whenever you worried too much. Your eyes drifted to your hands, then back to his face. He matched your sadness in a way, you knew it wasn't real though. "I was programmed with his memories, his personality, everything. I can't give you the past, but I can be here whenever you need."

Those words reminded you of memories long forgotten, back when the Saints had taken down the Sons of Samedi. Your leg bounced then as your eyes darted around, worried that a purple car would pull up and pop a cap in you and Maero's ass. Maero grabbed your hand then, promising nothing would happen to you two. He was going to convince them to take some shitty deal, your boyfriend was a fucking idiot then, but he was your idiot.

You stared at him for the longest time before you sighed, nodding "okay.. yeah- I-.. thanks Maero" he gave your hand another squeeze before he revved his engine up again, driving off with you beside him. "I'm sure you'll see the real me again someday." That you chuckled at, wiping away the tears that beaded in your eyes. "Yeah, I know." You were sure of it, you both would have to atone for your sins one day. You just hoped you'd find Maero wherever you end up once you stop breathing.

*------------Donnie-----------*

(this is gonna be written a little more differently)

You and Donnie were once Rollerz, or well- he was more of a Roller than you were. You were an informant, someone on the streets who held no affiliation to one gang openly. You watched, you made connections, you betrayed everyone around you for some cash. You never really held loyalty to the Rollerz, but at the moment they paid more than anyone else was willing. If someone dared to offer a better deal to you, you'd turn your back on them. At least you told yourself that, Donnie had proved you otherwise. He never said anything to prove it, nor did he do anything either, just his presence made you sure you'd never step away from them.

You had a crush on the awkward mechanic, you two were like total opposites. You had built a wall around yourself that you had been sure no one could break, you put on a 'tough guy' persona so no one would fuck with you, you masked your emotions well enough that no one questioned you, and you did all of this just to survive a little longer. You were never good at conveying feelings, you felt weak. When Lin came around and Donnie practically followed her like a lost puppy dog half of you felt relived, while the other half felt jealousy. Donnie never acted like that around you, sure he was nervous but never like that.

You regret some of the things you said then, the way you acted. It was your fault they found out Lin was a rat, you were just doing your job but, in the end, you might as well have just torn Donnie's heart out and shown it to him. You never told Donnie it was you, you're sure he knew already given he didn't even say goodbye to you. He just left without daring to even look back, your texts never went through to him and soon you moved on. The Saints took over Stilwater, every other gang's members were either in hiding or six feet under. You had moved on too; it was hard at first but once the Saints were fully disbanded and new gangs rolled in to claim their turfs. You had found yourself back in your roots, out of all of them you went to the Brotherhood. You already heard how the Sons of Samedi rolled and they just weren't your style, you tried to offer your 'skills' to the Ronin, but they believed they were doing just fine without you. The Brotherhood was your last chance, Maero let you in. You had to do more work than before but hey, whatever pays the bills right?

A month after you joined you saw him, a ghost from your past- Donnie. You stayed away at first, his silence from years was enough to tell you he probably didn't want to see you. But when you were 'promoted' to lieutenant status, you had no choice but to be in his presence. Even now he barely said a word to you, and sometimes you could've sworn you saw hate etched onto his face when he believed you weren't looking. It hurt honestly, and for a moment you felt guilt for having rat Lin out. But- wouldn't of Donnie done the same if she had been frolicking around with some guy who was from say- the Carnales? Or the kings? Or were you truly just so jealous you had ruined his life?

You tried to talk to him once you had gotten annoyed by this 'round a bout' you two had found yourselves in, but each time he grew defensive, he would throw blame onto you, tell you to just leave him alone, you weren't someone he wanted to remember.

Those words always made your heart ache a little, his tone made you almost wanna tear up, but you never did. You'd do as he asked you, wait around and hope maybe after some time he'd finally wanna talk. But each time you were met with the same remarks, the same insults, the same blame for having killed 'his girl'.

'His girl'

That almost made your blood boil, you had tried for so long to express your feelings before she showed up. All she had to do was walk around, do a couple races and now she was his girl. You felt disgusted with yourself for being jealous with a corpse, Donnie didn't owe you love but once upon a time you were so sure he viewed you the same way.

Soon enough you gave into his wishes, when the Saints tracked you down and the boss offered a better deal than Maero you betrayed them. You betrayed Donnie once again, you hadn't done anything big, you just became the Saints rat. You'd leak info to them, where Brotherhood members would meet up at, where cargo ships full of expensive cars would be docked, and when Carlos was killed you had told the boss that Jessica would be the way into his heart. When you were sure shit was going to hit the fan, you walked away from the Brotherhood only having given a warning to Donnie via call. He had sighed, annoyed as he asked you what you wanted, that you better not be wasting his time. He tried to act tough, you almost saw it as cute.

"The Saints are coming for the Brotherhood, don't put your life on the line for them. They're out for blood." Silence was on the other side, then Donnie responded "wait- wha-" Before he could say anything though, you hung up.

You didn't go to the Saints after your betrayal, even with how much they were paying you couldn't stand by if they were going to kill Donnie. In fact, with the money you had gotten from both Maero and the Boss you left Stilwater behind. You found yourself in Steelport, for a while you survived off of the money you procured from your previous 'employers', by the time the Saints had their faces plastered on billboards and their asses in commercials- you were broke. Kicked out of your apartment and now walking the streets with a single suitcase that rolled behind you, you had been approached by a limo. You were sure at first that the passenger was some creep ready to offer you a place to stay as long as you gave into whatever desire they had lingering in their mind. Instead, though the passenger was another celebrity you had become somewhat a fan of, Killbane. He offered you a job that would pay well enough that you wouldn't be homeless, and you hesitantly accepted.

You found yourself amongst the syndicate, you weren't a leader in anyway. You were another informant, though you were useless compared to the kid on the team- Matt. You were sure he had some sort of beef with you; you always caught him questioning your information and that made you almost wanna reach across the table and shake the little shit, but you never did. You were just their informant for the Saints, the person who'd sniff out a cheater in Killbane's casino, their eyes in the public.

When the Saints became a problem, you became far more useful. But once again you had fucked up, having muttered the names you could remember of the boss's closest allies- you dared to utter Johnny's name. Next thing you knew the man that even you feared was dead, you wanted to step away knowing how all of this would end- but none of them allowed you too. They watched your steps, they knew how you played and you fucking hated that. It wasn't like you could run to the Saints for help, if the boss knew you had been the one to get Johnny killed, she'd probably have you strung up on some pole as a warning. When the syndicate began to fall though, when Phillipe was killed leaving Killbane in charge, when Viola betrayed them because of Kiki's death, when Matt ran away with his tail tucked between his legs, and finally when Killbane was so consumed with the need for revenge he barely paid attention to you- you left as well.

You went elsewhere, you couldn't return to Stilwater and you dared to not stay in Steelport with the Saints no doubt ready to stake claim. You traveled for a bit with the money you had.. 'borrowed' from the syndicate. You relaxed in the countryside, went clubbing in the various cities you visited, you never had a home, you never had one to begin with. It was around fall, the time of the year where the cold nips at your skin. You were in Washington for a bit, testing the line between life and death if the boss ever saw you. You were doing boring shit, visiting museums and sitting at bars. You hadn't seen Donnie in years, hell you hadn't even dared to text him since that day. The last messages he sent were on various days after what happened.

'Hey what the hell are you talking about? You can't just say that and hang up on me dude!'

Sent 04/12/2009

'Are you fucking with me?'

Sent 04/12/2009

'Maero said to get your ass back here, he's pissed at you.'

Sent 04/13/2009

'What the fuck?? Why are you ignoring me? Fucking pick up??'

Sent 04/13/2009

'Did you do this?'

Sent 04/22/2009

'Hello?'

Sent 04/22/2009

Times had changed yet you still held onto that old phone, only to scroll through old texts. You still had texts back when Donnie and you were friends, that's what you were doing now. Sitting on a bench in a park, listening as people walked past while you scrolled all the way back to 2006 just to read the same old messages from someone you weren't even sure was still walking on this Earth.

'Hey! I just finished adding a little boost to my ride wanna go for a test spin?'

Sent 07/04/2006

'Sure, is Joseph alr with it?'

Sent 07/04/2006

'You worry too much meet u outside'

Sent 07/04/2006

Before you could scroll any further the ground shook, your phone dropping from your hand. "shit-" you reached to grab it again when something zoomed overhead, looking up your eyes widened in fear. There above flew various what you had to assume were alien ships, the people around you began to cower in fear, clutching onto each other while all you could do was hold that old flip phone like a lifeline and back away. Then the beams came down, people began to be lifted away. Even you screamed in terror as you bolted to find somewhere to hide, the stampede of people on the streets didn't help though. They pushed and shoved to reach safety as well, you fell from one shoving you far too aggressively. Your phone once again fell, breaking upon impact. Before you could reach to retrieve it, a sickly red hue covered you. You began to float upwards, screaming and thrashing then darkness.

The darkness didn't last for long, soon enough you were faced with an old memory. An old manor you hadn't been in- in... well years. It felt right though, nothing seemed out of place was all of that just a dream then? Maybe it was when you didn't notice Lin anywhere, and when you asked around Joseph and Donnie just looked at you confused. You began to notice something strange though, you were walking in Lin's shoes. Not literally of course, but everything you almost felt forced to do was something Lin had done. Donnie followed you around like a lovesick puppy dog, someone was texting and calling you that you couldn't recognize, you were doing the same shit as Lin but-... Lin didn't exist right? Maybe this was your role all along.

Repeatedly you'd go through the same thing, your brain was beginning to grow used to it. You'd walk around acting like Lin, you and Donnie would act all 'lovey dovey', then you'd end up tied in the back of your trunk and pushed into a watery grave. Over and over this happened till finally something- broke it, you were free and faced with people you didn't expect to see again. Especially not fucking Johnny Gat, the reunion wasn't pleasant, they had questions and they had a lot of 'em.

When you answered them truthfully and got your own answers in return, you were officially a 'Saint' now. After all there was nothing else you could be, somehow, they had become the only gang and the only people left minus all the others in simulation tanks. You were only freed because of your 'usefulness' and the old Saints familiarity with you. They had forgiven and forgotten your past transgressions against them, you were now amongst the 'redeemed' Saints. You only knew one of them personally, Ben King and the other you actively avoided. In fact, you avoided all of them most of the time. If the boss called for you, you'd go and help but besides that you kept to yourself. Your mind was mainly just trying to process everything while fighting against an alien empire, you also tended to not visit the simulation much. Ben had already given you the down low that AIs from their past were roaming about, he didn't say who besides Tanya was somewhere in the simulation. You really didn't want to be faced with any more familiar faces, so you stayed away.

But, one day the boss called for your help. She needed to mess with the simulation for a bit, something Kinzie needed that you didn't pay much attention too. You just rolled in, got in the boss's 'car' and "what the fuck-!" You leaned away so quickly you hit the back of your head on the interior of the car door. There sitting beside you was Donnie, an AI of him. The boss looked back at you, eyebrow arched before she realized "oh shit, yeah forgot to tell ya we found Donnie in the simulation." You rubbed the back of your head grumbling a curse "you mean an AI" The boss just waved your words off with a 'whatever' before she started to drive off. This was awkward, you two didn't really speak just like before, and for some god forsaken reason the boss decided to just get a whole list of things she needed to do done with you two as her 'backup'.

As she went off to do some simulation running thing for CID, you and 'Donnie' were left alone in silence. You both avoided each other's gaze; you found yourself entertained by your own hands then he spoke up "so how long till you say hi to me?" Your eyes shot up at him, a glare at this imposter "why would I say hi to you." You phrased it more like a response versus a question, but he took it as such. "Because I haven't seen you in years? You ran off after the Brotherhood-" You let out a laugh at that "I haven't seen Donnie in years, not you. You're not real." You empathized the words, as if the AI wasn't aware he was nothing more than lines of coding. He stared for a while before sighing and sitting back "yeah, but I'm programmed with his memories. I remember you, I remember what he felt around you." Your hand twitched at that; a snarl escaped you as you were ready to clock him upside the head. "And? You're not him, why do you think you deserve to know where I've been or why I left? You're a fucking NPC." Silence once again enveloped you two, you were ticked off at how the boss was taking her sweet time doing whatever it was CID needed her to do.

Then you felt weight beside you, a static-like feeling enveloping you as he got closer. "I may be an NPC but- I'm still wondering like how he was. I still feel what he felt-" You cut him off as you snapped at him. "If you're 'actually' Donnie, then you should fucking hate me. Not talking to me like we're still friends. I got Lin killed; you fucking hated me- you should still fucking hate me." Silence once again, your chest heaved as you quickly looked away. Looking out the window at the digital world, this had to be payback for what she did.

"He felt the same way y'know."

Your neck almost snapped from how fast you turned your head, looking at him with wide eyes as if he'd admitted he was Zinyak himself. "What" that was all you could say as he stared at you, his hand reached for yours holding it. "He had a crush on you, but he thought you didn't like him cause you were so- distant. He moved on with Lin, realized he still had feelings for you and when you came waltzing back in his life.. he didn't know what to feel." You were silent as he spoke, in a state of shock and pain etching its way into your heart. "He knew he should've hated you, but he still cared about you. He pushed you away because of his own confusing feelings, he was heartbroken when you walked away again. He tried to find you- contact you but he just never could."

You felt lightheaded, your whole world spinning- shit you felt like you were gonna be sick. Before you could say anything, your eyes opened to the blinding light of the ship. Kinzie standing in front of you as she helped you out, your eyes darted around wondering why she had taken you away- you were so close- "your vitals were starting to look dangerous" she explained, as she led you to a chair to sit. "Don't worry, I sent Shaundi in to help the boss. She'll be fine without you till your heart rate goes down."

All you could do was nod as Kinzie stepped away, giving you some space. All you could do was have Donnie's words swirl in your mind, and finally after so long you cried at your mistakes.