#maelix

a short story by leah walker

He awoke in the circle of Felix’s arms, happy to feel the warmth and the shape of him. They had both gotten exceptionally trashed and consequently were waking up in his bed in the White Rabbits house. Felix shouldn’t have been there anymore, and his room was a wreck. What had they been doing in there anyway? Maël’s eyes roamed the floor, seeing shirts, socks, pants. His eyes went wide and he lifted the blanket up just enough to peer beneath it. They had both blessedly kept their underwear on.

As the sun filtered in, Maël rolled to face Felix. The other boy was still sleeping soundly, but he adjusted to the way Maël moved around him, rolling onto his back while the arm beneath him only tensed slightly, as though he would move to pull Maël closer if he had only been awake.

His face twitched, and it made Maël worry. The younger boy looked beleaguered by his dreams, as though they were attacking him, and Maël nestled into his chest. Felix’s face relaxed, and Maël did too as he rested his head in the crook of Felix’s neck. From this vantage point, he could see all of the stupid huffleppuff boy, or would have if they hadn’t been so thoroughly covered. Slowly, gently, Maël pushed the blanket to their waists and he could see every line of muscle, ribs, a tuft of hair at his navel that drew the eye. Gently, he took his fingers and traced them softly down the other boy’s stomach, resting his hand where his fingers wrapped into the hair. Turning his face up to Felix, he looked to see if the other boy was still awake. He was not.

Slowly, Maël slid his fingers back and forth along the waistband of his underwear until his fingers were hooking inside them. He was still looking at Felix’s face. There was a gentle, almost imperceptible upturn of his lips. Maël wondered if it was him or if it was his dreams. It was the last day of summer. The last morning they could wake together, like this, where they shouldn’t even be. And he knew. He knew but he also knew it was something he should not know. Knowing was such a burden. It burdened his heart to know it, and keep it, but he had to keep it and know it in silence. There was no way he could tell Felix. Telling him would create so munch burden, and it wasn’t worth it. Maël had the burden of knowing and the burden of not knowing, but the burden of not knowing wasn’t nearly half as weighty. So long as he didn’t know, there would always be hope. He could always think of them this way, so long as he didn’t have to know that Felix didn’t love him.

Burying his face in Felix’s shoulder, he kissed lightly, savoring the way his lips touched Felix’s skin. He could feel hip bones under his hands, and the taste of his flesh was soft salt. His nose filled with the scent of him and it almost made Maël cry, Felix was so beautiful. “I want you,” he whispered softly into the hollow of his collar bones. His hand snaked gently out of Felix’s pants and he moved it slowly up and down the other boy’s thigh. Shifting, Maël moved to kiss his chest. to kiss his stomach, to kiss the place where his waistband met his skin, and the skin that rested just below it. Slowly, he nuzzled the fur below his navel, whispering sweet things.

A few moments later, his wrist lightly bumped something he hadn’t noticed before and he looked down. It was so obvious he wasn’t sure how he had missed it. Whatever Maël was doing was causing Felix, even in sleep, to become aroused. Instantly, he took his hands off and rolled over, slightly away from Felix. It didn’t matter. A sleeping Felix chased him, as he always did, and Maël could feel it against his back, as urgent as the one Maël was trying to force away by thought alone.

but nobody knows it's mine :(((

Mich bekommt man nicht so leicht... - Keks? - OK ICH GEHÖR DIR ♥

(You don't "get" (e. g. for a relationship) me that easily ... - Cookie? - OK I BELONG TO YOU ♥)

(wolkentaenzerin's curlydude) and (wolkentaenzerin's curlydude's buddy)"

:((((((((((((((((((((((((

y u no come at my house

my is more... chill

pls

"Hehehehe I didn't chat so maaaany days with him! I want to have a friendship which is based on... real life. Let's just check for how long we didn't chat."

Last conversation: May 14th, 2010

This "happy birthday" weekend got to its end now. Naw. :(

It's unusual to say I'm 16 years old now, lol (: I feel like six years, but ok.

If they don't wish me a happy belated birthday tomorrow, I'll be mad at them for the rest of my fucking life and ignore them both. Word.

omg i'm nearly crying

the curlydude asked me yesterday which song he should cover with his guitar (and it should not be by hurts. ugh.) and i said "undisclosed desires" <33 by muse. you know.. "i'll marry that guy who sings 'undisclosed desires' to me."

omg.

and suddenly he sent me an audio file. i opened it. and it was him. singing it and playing the guitar.

I WAS MELTIIIIIIIIIIING AND OMG I CRIED A BIT OMG OMG

why didn't i leave my old msn away message? "i'll marry that guy..."

sorry mister, i have to marry you.