#mady writes

You picked yourself and then Rosie up  from the ground, bouncing her on your hip to try to sooth her. “I know hun, I know, you miss Daddy. I miss Daddy. If he were here I wouldn’t be exhausted now would I? Would I? No I wouldn’t. Please stop crying now, Rosie dear. Please stop. You’re not hungry. You’re clean and comfy and warm and in pain I know but I’ve given you the medicine Daddy swears works but I don’t think it is, is it honey?” Rosie’s cries continued on for some time, until she tired herself out enough to quiet them into soft whimpers, accompanied by fat tears which rolled down her cheeks.

You kept muttering nonsensical phrases, which seemed to be the only thing that distracted her, and looked towards the clock. 8:47pm. “Look at that, it’s way past your bedtime again munchkin. Thank God you’re finally tired. Let’s put you to bed hm? Put you in your nice and cosy bed? Yes I think we should.” You walked up the stairs to John’s room where Rosie’s bassinet was and put Rosie into the plush bedding, wrapping the fuzzy blanket over her small body, now asleep in a fitful rest. You sighed as you crept out of the room, making sure to make as little noise as possible.

When you got back into the living room you flopped onto the couch, determined to sleep before Rosie’s next feeding and inevitable wailing. You had just about dozed off when the door slammed open with force and a tornado whirled into the living room. You jumped up and looked around, frantic and irritable from being awoken so abruptly. You saw that the tornado was in fact Sherlock, high on adrenaline from the chase he had so obviously just had. He whipped off his scarf and coat with what you thought was an obscene amount of noise and he stomped around the living room, prattling on about the case before you could scold him for not thinking before creating a ruckus in the middle of the night.

“You wouldn’t believe it Y/N! The case was thrilling and-” His sentence was cut off by the banshee you called niece. “Oh right. Rosie. Y/N, are you okay?” You swore you could feel your eye twitching as you glared venomously at Sherlock. He at least had the sense to look ashamed at you as you stood and retrieved Rosie, not even ten minutes into your nap. You came back down the stairs to see Sherlock on his chair, probably organising the case into his Mind Palace, ignoring the screams Rosie was casting his way. You cleared your throat to make him open his eyes before handing him the once again screaming toddler. Sherlock opened his mouth to protest but you cut him off with a glare and a finger pointed at his chest, which poked repeatedly whilst you lectured him. “I am having a shower. You are going to try to get her to sleep again as I have just been doing so for the past hour and a bit before you ruined it all with your flouncing. You are also going to make tea when the kettles done because I am tired and it looks like neither of us are sleeping much tonight. Are we clear?” You dangerous tone and poking caused him to shy away from you, further into his chair cradling Rosie in his arms.

“Yes Y/N.”

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” You turned on your heel and left for the bathroom, shutting the door before leaning on it and scrubbing your face with your hands, as if to wipe away the exhaustion that had built up over the hour of Rosie’s crying. You shook your head and turned on the shower, drowning out Rosie’s insistent screaming considerable and finally giving you some time for yourself.

You weren’t so cold all the time, just when you were tired, and the shower had helped to wake you up some. When you came out a few minutes later, clad in your cosy pyjamas and a pair of slippers, you came to regret snapping at Sherlock like you had done. You couldn’t hear the screams of Rosie but you could hear her whimpering and Sherlock’s muttering, just as you had done not half an hour earlier. You walked into the room and saw Sherlock swaying Rosie side to side, lulling her into another fitful sleep. You went up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, swaying with him as his mumbling stopped. “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“I should be the one who’s sorry. I forgot Rosie hadn’t been going to bed cooperatively once she began teething.”

“Yeah still, sorry.” You kissed his shoulder blade and nuzzled your head into his back.

“I made tea.” You laughed as you let Sherlock go and looked around the room, finding a pot of tea, milk, sugar and even biscuits on a tray between John and Sherlock’s chair. You patted Sherlock’s back and sat in John’s chair to pour two cups.

“Thanks Sher. Go put Rosie to bed. Hopefully she will sleep for a couple of hours before she wakes again.” You put milk and sugar into both of the cups as Sherlock walked past you to the stairs, placing a kiss on your head before he left the room. You smiled as you heard him continue talking to Rosie in hushed tones. You were sipping your tea when Sherlock came back down, his high from the case now gone from having to deal with Rosie for a few minutes. He sat in his chair and began to sip at his cooling tea and you sighed, the quiet of the flat calming you but. “You want to tell me about the case?”

“I thought you were going to sleep until Rosie woke again.”

“Well I was until you barged in here and woke me and now I’m curious. It seemed like a good one.” Sherlock’s eyes lit up and he began to talk rapidly about the murderer he had chased and about the scene itself, which was unique due to the unusual blood splatters. You listened to him talk for an hour, a content smile on your face and your eyes droopy. You hand just stood to check on Rosie before heading to bed when the cacophony began again. Rosie’s shrill cry burst from the room upstairs and your smile dropped into a pout. You groaned and put you head in your hands, taking deep breaths to keep tired tears at bay. “Arrggh…” You rubbed your eyes and began to make your way upstairs when Sherlock put a hand on your shoulder.

“You should go and try to sleep. You’ve had Rosie all day.”

“No it’s okay. You helped her last time. I’ll get her.” You shrugged him off and went upstairs where the noises grew in volume. You went into the room and saw Rosie crying in her crib. “Aww honey it's okay. I'm here. I know, I know it hurts. Come on.” You picked her up and took her downstairs, preparing yourself for the task of gathering her pain medicine with one hand when Sherlock came and stood in front of you, the little dropper in his hand and the liquid already measured to the millimetre. “Oh Sherlock, thanks so much. Do you think-”

“I'll get her to take it Y/N. Just hold her steady.” You nodded and cooed at Rosie to try and get her to calm down enough to take her medicine, knowing that she would be frustrated with both you and Sherlock after taking it.

Sure enough, when the bitter mixture was tasted and swallowed, Rosie's face morphed into disgust and then fury and she let out a pain filled yell. “Oh honey I know, it's okay. How about a bottle, hm? Yes, we'll get your bottle sorted. That sounds nice doesn’t it?” You smiled at Rosie as her yells turned into whimpers at the mention of the bottle. You went to step into the kitchen however Sherlock was back with a warm bottle for Rosie, having had it already prepared for when you came down with her. She took it with tears and became quiet immediately when she began to drink. You chuckled and looked from Rosie to Sherlock, who was looking at Rosie with adoration. “Thanks so much Sherlock. You’re really good with her you know?”

“Not as good as you.” You scoffed and shook your head, turning back to Rosie who was almost finished with her bottle.

“It took me an hour to get her to sleep and it takes you ten minutes. I think you’re better.” He smiled and looked to you, coming closer to hug you from the side and look down at Rosie alongside you, who was just about finished now, and with the medicine kicking in along with her fatigued body, was becoming sleepy. You took the bottle from her hands and swayed from side to side, rocking her to sleep.

“We’re better together though, aren’t we.” You smiled softly and looked back to Sherlock, meeting his eyes which were crinkled at the sides as he smiled fondly at the domesticity you two were in.

Her body felt numb.

How could she not know? How could she call herself Chat’s best friend? How could she have been hanging around with him like three times a week every week for the past three years and not see it?

Maybe you’re just a shitty friend. Her heart suggested, bitterly.

Maybe you are just a shitty friend.

She sighed and groaned, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.

He had just looked so devastated. He practically ran away from her. As if...like...

Like I shattered his heart.

Marinette’s stomach sank even deeper.

“Marinette…” Tikki started, nuzzling into her cheek. “It’s not that bad.”

Mari groaned. “Yes, it is, Tikki!”

“He’ll move on. I’m sure.” Tikki reassured her, hugging her face as much as she could with her tiny body- basically, just managing to hold her chin and nothing else.

“It doesn’t matter if he moves on or not. The problem is that I- the person who calls herself his best friend - couldn’t see how he really felt about me. I teased him. I led him on.” She frowned.  “And not just once! Consistently. For years!”

Tikki pursed her lips. “Marinette...I’m sure Chat knew what he was getting himself into. He knew the risks of confessing to you.”

Marinette buried her face into her knees, pulling them even closer. Tikki stroked a little section of her hair.

“Oh, Mari. It really will be okay. You couldn’t have known. It had been going on since you two met. You’ve never known a Chat that acted differently.”

“...Maybe you’re right.” She admitted, peeking her eyes out at Tikki from behind her arms. “But I still feel bad. What if he doesn’t wanna be my best friend anymore?”

“Of course he wants to be your best friend!” Tikki burst out, incredulously, but then took a more gentle tone. “Marinette, you two are meant to be best friends. You were chosen because you two are soulmates- romantic or platonic. Chat loves you. Not just romantically. He’d never stop wanting to be your friend just because you don’t share his feelings.”

Mari picked her head up, sighing.

‘Best friends. Always.’

She sighed again, sitting up. Tikki was right. Chat wouldn’t want to stop being her friend just because she rejected him.

“But I still hurt him.” She told Tikki, after a moment. “I still broke his heart.”

Tikki sighed, patting her cheek. “Humans are more relisient than you think. His heart will heal.”

“How can I possibly make it up to him, though?”

Tikki nudged her chin, making Marinette lift it to look at her.

“You can be his friend. You can keep caring about him, just like you’re doing right now.”

Marinette thought for a second.

“You’re right.”

Tikki giggled. “Aren’t I always?”

Marinette grinned, hugging Tikki closely. “Always.”

And for a moment, things seemed better.

Marinette laid back down on her bed, letting Tikki curl up on her pillow and rest.

After what could’ve been a few hours or a few minutes but just felt like an eternity, she was still awake- staring at her ceiling once again. She couldn’t sleep.

She turned onto her side, restlessly, and a picture on her nightstand caught her eye. It was a bunch of pictures of her and Adrien. One of those photo booth picture strips. They had taken it this summer when they went to the arcade. One of the first times they hung out alone, outside of school.

She and Adrien were a lot closer now. For the whole first year they knew each other, Marinette was more than a little awkward around him. She could barely speak a whole sentence in his presence. The crush she had for him was just too massive.

But that was three years ago. Now she was 18 and much more mature than her 15 year old self. She finally mastered speaking full sentences around Adrien- encouraged to do so by the fact that they begun hanging around each other a lot more as Nino and Alya began to get closer.

Being around two other friends while they spoke every single time they hung out eventually broke the ice. Turns out, they had a lot in common.

Now, Adrien was one of her five best friends (the friends being, in no particular order: Alya, Tikki, Nino, Chat, and Adrien). They hung out all the time. They played Mecha Strike and Mario Cart and Overwatch and a ton of video games together at her house like once a week or so. She spent lunch with him, Alya, and Nino like every day.

She took down her pictures of him. And his schedule. She changed her computer wallpaper to a picture of her and a bunch of her friends from class. Any pictures of Adrien in her bedroom were no longer magazine clippings or things she printed off the internet- they were pictures of them together. Laughing, smiling, having fun. All their memories together.

Yet, her feelings for him remained.

In fact...they intensified.

Marinette’s crush was no longer superficial. She didn’t admire him from afar anymore. She admired him up close now. No longer was he perfect in her eyes- but, rather, perfectly imperfect.

A total dork. She mused, a smile appearing on her face- only widening when she looked at the way he stuck his tongue out at her in the third picture.

A total dork that you adore. Her brain reminded her.

Yeah. She did adore him.

Chat’s face flickered in her mind again.

He had confessed to her. He worked up the courage.

For how long? Weeks? Months?

However long, he had done it. He had planned and plotted. She knew he had. She knew him and how he was.

It was the bravest display of emotion she’d ever seen. He was clearly torn up about it, but still managed to confess- even though he knew he might get rejected.

Even though he did get rejected. Her heart told her. By you.

Oh. Right.

Marinette sighed, rolling onto her back again. If only I could be that brave.

Her head turned towards Adrien’s photo again. In the last of the four pictures, he was holding her close, laughing with his arms wrapped around her. She was mid-laugh too, her cheeks red.

Marinette turned to the ceiling again, and closed her eyes.

She knew what she had to do.

She had to be brave.

---------

“Are you sure about this, girl?” Alya asked her, trying to catch up with Marinette’s fast paced walk into school that Monday morning.

“I’m sure.” Marinette told her. “I’m ready to tell him. I was thinking about it the whole weekend.”

She had had a whole long-ass conversation with Tikki about it the morning after Friday night (when Chat had confessed and she had made up her mind), and then had another again with Alya that Sunday, when she came over to help her and her parents decorate some flower shaped sugar cookies for Spring.

She was determined.

Alya raised an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes a bit. “I still don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

“Nothing has gotten into me.” Marinette lied. “I just feel like I’m ready to finally tell him. I feel bad keeping it from him.”

It wasn’t a total lie.

“Alright, then.” Alya replied, opening the door for Marinette.

When they walked into class, Adrien and Nino were already there, talking at their desks.

Marinette’s heart fluttered a bit in her chest, and tried to jump into her throat, but she swallowed in down, and walked with Alya over to their row.

“Hey, guys.” Alya greeted.

“Morning!” Marinette followed.

“What’s up, ladieeessss!” Nino greeted, grinning. Alya rolled her eyes.

“Morning.” Adrien seemed very...out of it? Marinette thought so.

“Are you alright, Adrien?” She asked, concerned.

“That’s what I’ve been asking all morning!” Nino exclaimed, looking irritated. “I’ve been trying to get him to tell me what’s wrong for like half an hour already.”

“I told you- nothing’s wrong.” Adrien assured him, then turned to Marinette, smiling softly. “I’m okay, Mari.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look okay.” Marinette furrowed her eyebrows.

“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m just out of it because I’m tired. My father’s had me working every night this week.”

Marinette didn’t buy it, but respected his privacy.

“Your dad is crazy!” Nino told him, huffing. “You’re 18. You should be allowed to take breaks and have fun.”

Adrien nodded and shrugged. “I guess.”

They all spoke for a few more minutes, mostly about how Nino had had a gig DJing a party downtown this weekend. They quieted down by the time their teacher had come in.

As the teacher started her lesson, Marinette stared at the back of Adrien’s head, thinking about how she was gonna confess. She was nervous but maybe for no reason.

She had been thinking this whole weekend about what would happen if Adrien rejected her-

Like you did Chat. Her annoying brain reminded her again.

Shut up. Marinette fired back.

- but what if he doesn’t reject her? What if he actually...likes her back? What if he feels the same and they go on a date and then a few more and then become boyfriend/girlfriend and then he proposes and they get married on a sunny Spring day in an intimate family affair and then they live together and love each other and have three beautiful children named Emma, Louis, and Hu-

Woah woah woah.

Chill, girl. You’re not 15 anymore. Stop with these crazy fantasies and focus on the task at hand. How are you and Adrien gonna ever get married if he never knows how you feel?

Marinette blinked, snapping out of it. She then ripped a paper out of her notebook and wrote Adrien a note.

‘Hey. I have to tell you something. It’s...kinda important. Can we talk after school?’

She slid the note under the desk, poking at his side with the corner of the folded paper.

Keeping his eyes trained on the teacher, he secretly grabbed the note, expertly placing it on his desk without the teacher seeing.

Marinette waited with baited breath.

After what felt like an eternity (but in reality was only 10 minutes), she felt a folded piece of paper poke her bare knee. She slid it onto her desk and opened it as inconspicuously as possible.

‘Of course Mari. Is after school good? :p’

The note came with a tiny doodle of a smiling snail.

She grinned. She adored this boy.

When he turned to look at her a few seconds later while the teacher turned away, she nodded slightly.

And now, we wait.

---------

After the final bell rang and Marinette was freed from the absolute sin formally referred to as chemistry, she stood by Adrien’s locker, waiting for him to arrive.

Her heart was doing flips.

She wasn’t so sure she could do this. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn back. Maybe she should just tell him it was something funny and dumb like “you’re a dork” or “you got some updawg on your shirt” and leave it at that.

She felt her phone vibrate in her skirt pocket. She slid it out and read her latest text. It was from Alya.

‘You got this. I believe in you. <3’

Marinette smiled, her heart warmed by the text.

‘Thanks, Alya. You’re the best.’

And she was. Alya was such a good friend. Maybe Tikki was right. Maybe she really was lucky. Lucky to be blessed with such an incredible support group.

“What’s got you so smile-y?”

Marinette whipped her head up, locking her phone and sliding it back into her pocket, as Adrien stood before her- all sandy blonde hair and grass green eyes and soft spoken and-

Focuusss. Her brain nagged.

“A-Adrien! Hey.”

“Hey!” He grinned. “I asked you a question, you know.”

“Oh- oh yeah. Alya was texting me something sweet. About how I’m her favorite and whatever.”

Adrien chuckled. Her heart nearly melted.

“You’re everyone’s favorite, Mari.”

Marinette giggled, nervously. “I sure hope so…”

Literally, though…

“So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

Her stomach sank, but she willed it to work with her a bit.

“I...uh...wanted to know if you wanted to walk home with me.”

It apparently didn’t listen. Goddammit.

“Sure. I actually have time, for once. Just let me grab my stuff?”

“Okay!” Marinette replied, a little too loudly and a little too quickly.

I’m reverting. She panicked. Shit.

Pull it together, Mari.

“Ready?” Adrien asked her, after a minute, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

---------

After a minute or so of feeling awkward, Adrien striked up a conversation, and she silently thanked him for taking the lead. They quickly started talking about some nerd shit- as two nerds like them might do.

“There is no way in hell that Ponyo is better than Howl’s Moving Castle.” She scoffed. “Sophie is so much more complex than Ponyo. Or Sosuke.”

“Howl’s good, but it’s no Ponyo!” Adrien insisted. “Come on- the story of a young girl learning to break free from oppression! Teaching a boy about true love.”

“It’s more of a child-like infatuation, if you ask me. Or a platonic love.”

Adrien huffed. “You just can’t appreciate fine cinema.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed, looking at him.

He was so… God, he was so attractive. He drove her absolutely crazy. Like she said, he had that whole sandy blonde hair and grass green eyes thing going for him. But not only that, he had this...sunkissed skin. Like Apollo himself descended from the heavens and personally blessed him to forever be a literal embodiment of sunshine. And his body, oh my god.

Back when they were 15, Adrien was a bit more lithe- thin and shapely, but still maintaining a fit form and an alright shoulder to waist ratio. It came with not only having barely gone through puberty, but having to keep up that stereotypical model look. But now that he was older, Adrien was more built- and encouraged to maintain a wholesomely sexy look instead of the boyishly handsome look he had had before.

And Lord, did it work for him.

He was still a little lithe, but had much broader shoulders. He wasn’t exactly dorito shaped, but definitely more manly- thicker biceps and more defined muscles. He could now fill in a shirt.

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking ahead, his green eyes intensified and brightened by the sunshine.

Marinette could’ve stayed just like that, staring at him- soaking in his beauty.

But then she saw it.

His frown.

And not just that, but his eyebrows. They were furrowed. He was thinking very deeply about something.

Marinette frowned right along with him, then stopped walking, placing a hand on his shoulder. Adrien turned to look at her, surprised.

“Okay, model boy. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Mari?”

She frowned deeper, putting her feelings for him aside to address him with proper concern. “You’ve been acting off all day. I know you. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

He sighed, looking even more upset. “It’s nothing.”

“Adrien..”

“What about you? You’ve been off all day, too. Don’t think I believe for one second that the real reason you wanted to talk after school was so I could walk you home.” He raised an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms, petulantly.

Her stomach sank, but she quickly shook it off and laughed. “Are you trying to change the subject? I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

They narrowed their eyes at each other.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors for it?” Mari asked, determined. She had to win.

“You’re on.”

---------

“Goddammit!” Mari cursed.

After three games of Rock, Paper, Scissors, she had lost. Twice.

In her defense, she had momentarily forgotten that paper beats rock. How does that even make sense?

“Ha! Now you have to tell me what’s on your mind.” Adrien gloated, sticking out his tongue.

Why am I so in love with this boy? Mari asked herself, even though she knew the answer.

“No. I changed my mind. I don’t wanna tell you.” Mari crossed her arms, pouting, and turning away.

“Oh, come on, Mari!”

“No!”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her around. “You know you can tell me.”

Her heart skipped a beat. Or several.

Okay. Okay okay okay. I can do this.

I think.

“Alright...you’re right.” She confessed. “I do need to tell you something… kinda important. We should… maybe sit.”

“Okay.” He gestured towards a nearby bench, and they both sat.

Adrien looked at her, expectantly.

Her heart felt like it was filled with an icy cold fire.

“I know this is...sudden…” Marinette told him. “But…”

“But?”

“But… I really liked all the time we’ve been spending together, Adrien. I really like all your dumb jokes. I really like playing video games with you. I really like the way you scarf down all the food I give you, as if it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a chocolate croissant. I really like the way you ramble about things you really like…”

“Mari?”

“I really like... you, Adrien.”

“ Mari… ”

“No. More than really like you.” She closed her eyes, and let out a deep breath. “I love you, Adrien. Like. Really love you. Like. I’ve-been-madly-insatiably-in-love-with-you-for-the-last-three-years in love with you.”

Adrien looked floored. “Like...romantically?”

“Like, romantically.”

There was a pregnant pause. Marinette’s heart was beating so loudly, she could barely hear herself think.

After a moment, Adrien spoke.

“Marinette…” He sighed, eyebrows knit together. “The thing…. I had to tell you.”

“The thing?”

“The thing is…” He took her hands in his, looking apologetic. Oh no.

“ The thing is…. there’s someone else.”

Her heart sank. “Someone...else?”

“I confessed to her last night. She rejected me but…” Adrien sighed. “But I’m still in love with her.”

“In...love...with her?”

“I do love you, Mari. As a friend. And I love all the time that we’ve been spending together. You’re...an amazing person. An amazing friend. Beautiful and fun and smart and determined and wonderful. But…”

“But I’m not her.”

Adrien looked away, guiltily.

Of course.

Of course.

Why would I… how could I even think that… a guy like Adrien…

Marinette stood, suddenly, letting go of his hands, staring at her feet.

You had better not cry. She ordered herself. Not in front of him. You had better save that shit for when you get home.

Her eyes welled up with tears anyway.

She tried to will them away. Don’t. Don’t humiliate yourself any further. You’d better not.

Her resolve melted when Adrien stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Marinette… I’m so sorry.”

The tears just kept rolling down her cheeks.

“You’re sorry?” She laughed, numbly, wiping her face. “What do you have to be sorry for, Agreste? I’m the one who’s making you feel guilty for no reason.”

He pulled her in close, suddenly, hugging her tight. “I still hurt you.”

The tears kept flowing in his arms, staining his shirt. It just...wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. She’d come so far. She’d finally gotten close to him. Finally got them talking to each other. Finally become his real friend.

Maybe Tikki was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t so lucky after all.

Marinette sobbed.

Adrien rubbed her back and held her close.

---------

He’d insisted on walking her home.

She tried to keep a brave face, but as soon as she got through the front door, she just pressed her back to it, slid down, and started sobbing again.

Her mother had heard her cries and immediately came rushing in from the bakery, a look of deep concern on her face. She helped Marinette to the couch and, there, Marinette had told her mother everything she could. How a “friend” she didn’t feel the same for confessed his love to her. How she had rejected him. How she had been inspired by him and confessed to Adrien. How Adrien had rejected her on the way home.

“Oh, honey…” Her mom held her close, letting Marinette cry on her shoulder. “Sometimes, it just happens.”

“I really thought we were meant for each other.”

“I know, I know.” Her mother sighed, stroking her hair. “I know it feels like the end of the world. But it’s not. You’re a bright, beautiful young woman. There are other things out there for you.”

Marinette nodded, gripping her mother’s dress harder, sniffling.

Her mother whipped up one of her favorite dinners that night- beef stew with carrots and potatoes. Warm and delicious, as always. Her father had pulled out his beat-up ice cream maker, as well- and made them homemade salted caramel ice cream.

It could’ve been delicious, but Marinette couldn’t say. She was too messed up.

Instead, she just ate small, slow bites, and felt the tears dry on her cheeks, staring blankly at the table. She just felt numb.

---------

After dinner, she had skyped Alya, and told her the awful news. Alya promised that they’d have a “Ladies Night” the next day- which basically just meant they’d get together and talk it out and cuddle and eat ice cream and watch the Real Housewives.

Marinette had agreed, gratefully- but aside from that, she didn’t really speak much either.

Tikki seemed concerned. She, too, spent a fair amount of time comforting Marinette- and at least made her clean the smeared makeup and dried streaks of mascara off her face. Her pores would probably thank her tomorrow.

After a couple hours, though, Marinette sent Tikki to bed.

“I can’t possibly sleep right now. It’s best you just go to bed now. I’ll lay down and try to rest in a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Her kwami asked, concerned.

“Yeah. It’s fine. I promise.”

Tikki didn’t look totally convinced, but gave in once Marinette put on her brave face.

“Alright...but you’d better be in bed by midnight! You do have school tomorrow, after all.”

“Yes, mom.” Marinette tried to grin. She wasn’t quite sure she got it across.

Tikki rolled her eyes and kissed Mari’s forehead before flittering off to her bed (which was essentially just a pillow and a small, hand sewn blanket hidden behind the staircase in Marinette’s loft bedroom).

After Tikki was finally fast asleep, Marinette sighed, walking out onto her balcony, her blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a cup of green tea that her mother insisted she drink in her hands.

She took a sip of the now barely warm tea and sighed again, staring across at the lights of Paris.

This is supposed to be the city of love.

She scoffed. More like the city of heartbreak.

Marinette laughed at her own bad joke, emptily.

She felt like a total idiot.

How did she not see this coming?

She sighed once more, shakily this time, and felt her eyes well up with tears again.

And once more, she sobbed.

Not the kind of sobbing she had been doing before.

Horrible, awful sobbing.

Marinette was devastated.

Three years she’s been in love with Adrien. Three years she’d… actually believed that they’d… get married. Have kids. Spend their lives together.

How stupid. She thought, bitterly, sinking down to her knees, gripping the railing with the hand not holding her now cold green tea. So stupid.

She pressed her forehead up against it, letting tears fall onto the street below her.

She just kept sobbing and shaking. So loud was her sorrow that she didn’t hear the leather-clad hero land on her balcony and walk towards her pathetic form.

“...Princess?” She heard a familiar voice ask.

She looked up to see Chat Noir, looking like he felt sorry for her.

Adrien had been thinking about doing this for a while. He’d contemplated every scenario in which he’d confess his love. Every possible outcome. He’d even practiced a couple times on the huge Ladybug poster on his bedroom wall (that no one was allowed to see, ever).

Well, a few times.

Maybe 5 or 6. Or 100.

Honestly, he’d lost count.

But that’s beside the point!

The point is that now, Adrien had finally, FINALLY- after months of research and contemplation- cooked up the perfect algorithm to determine what the best possible way to confess to his darling Ladybug was.

Tonight, while on their bi-weekly patrol, Adrien Agreste will finally confess his undying love for His Lady. 

Hopefully, some of her good luck’ll rub off on him.

Hopefully. --------- “Are you sure about this, kid?” Plagg asked, munching on a piece of Camembert while Adrien took his phone out of his pocket so he could take it with him after he transformed and slid on his shoes. “What if she rejects you?”

Adrien rolled his eyes and sighed. “A little faith in me would be appreciated.”

“I’m literally the god of bad luck. Forgive me for being a little pessimistic.” Plagg responded,  “Plus, I’m thousands of years old. I’ve seen some shit, kid. Just tryna be realistic here.”

Adrien furrowed his brow, slightly pouting, and opened the window. “I’ll deal with it. Now get in the ring.”

Plagg harumphed. “Fine.”

“Plagg! Transforme Moi!”

As soon as the transformation rolled down Adrien’s body, he leapt out the open window, kicking it shut as he bounded off to see his Lady at their rendezvous point. He was a big boy. He knew the risks of what he was about to do.

But...what if she does reject him?

What if-

It’ll be fine, he quickly reassured himself. Ladybug loves you- romantically or otherwise- and that’s all you really need anyways.

Besides, he reasoned. We’re destined for each other. 

Leaping over rooftops with practically lightning fast speed, he arrived at the their meeting spot on the roof of Notre Dam in no time. There, his Lady was waiting for him, eyes trained on the starry horizon, seemingly deep in thought.

She was beautiful. Like, stunningly so. Sky blue eyes, ebony hair. A lean and obviously muscular form- yet still soft and almost chubby in certain places. Her beauty was just...captivating. He could spend hours counting every freckle on every inch of her skin- though he was unfortunately restricted to just the skin on her face and neck by that spandex suit she always wore- starting with the spray of them across her cheeks.

He stood and stared for a moment.

No matter how sure he was this morning that he could do this, nothing could’ve possibly prepared him for the way his heart skipped a beat and leapt into his throat. The way his stomach sank. The way his legs seemed to get heavier with every step.

No. His brain screamed. You can do this. You made pie charts.

He forced his heart back down into his chest, and stuck that characteristic smirk back on his face.

I made pie charts. I have an algorithm.

Chat stepped forward, and steadied a shaky hand to place on her shoulder, breaking her concentration and making her whip her head around to look at him.

“My Lady.” He bowed, and kissed her hand.

“Chat!” Ladybug pouted, furrowing her brow. “Where have you been? You’re 30 minutes late.”

Cute. All these years, and she still made his cheeks warm. He praised God- or, err, Kwami?- for the mask on his face. He could’ve melted right there.

The pie charts! His brain nagged.

Right. Instead of melting, he stood straight back up and grinned that Chat-like grin.

“My a-paw-logies, My Lady.” Adrien leaned in closer and raised his eyebrows. “Did I make you miss me?”

Ladybug, in typical Ladybug fashion, simply rolled those baby blue eyes. “This may be fun, but this is also our job. Our responsibility. You know that.”

“‘M sorry. I won’t be late next time.” He told her, sincerely.

She pursed her lips. “It’s okay. Just don’t let it happen again, please, Kitty.”

“Of course, My Lady.” Adrien extended a leather-clad hand, gesturing towards the Parisian skyline. “Shall we?”

She smiled. His heart skipped another beat. “We shall.”

---------

 The patrol went as the majority of them do- uneventfully.  There was no crime in Paris that night- unless you count a rowdy teenage party they had to crash. After a young woman with a crying baby had complained to the superhero duo about the noise, informing them that she had already knocked on the door three times to ask them to keep it down, they walked over and tried their own hand at the teens.

The look on that kid’s face when he opened the door and saw Ladybug standing there, with her hands on her hips, not amused- with Chat Noir and the young woman with the baby standing behind her- was priceless. Adrien almost wishes Alya had been here to film it.

The boy quickly apologized and lowered the music- much to the gratitude of the young mother.

Aside from that, Paris seemed to be having a chill Friday night- which Adrien was grateful for, because, had an akuma victim appeared, he wouldn’t have the chance to let his Lady know what was on his mind.

By midnight, their patrol was done. He and Ladybug were perched back onto the rooftop of the Notre Dam, just silently enjoying each other’s company, Ladybug leaning on his shoulder, eyes trained on the horizon again.

It should’ve been serene- but Adrien was restless. He’d been anxiously bouncing his legs for the better part of 15 minutes, waiting for the right moment to enact his plan into motion.

He was beginning to have some doubts.

How could he do this? How can he even go about doing this? He can’t just confess to her! She’s Ladybug! She’s smart and funny and brave and sweet and kind and determined and heroic and confident and powerful and-

But you’re Chat Noir! His brain chastised him. And you have those pie charts!

To hell with pie charts! Graphs are not how you win a girl’s affection! Especially not a girl as amazing as Ladybug.

Who was he kidding? What if Plagg was right? What if-

Ladybug sighed, and stood up straight.

“Alright, Chat. What’s up?”

“My Lady?” He turned to her, surprised.

“You’ve been bouncing your leg for leg for 20 minutes now. What has you so restless?” She seemed worried. “You’re usually so happy to spend time together after patrol.”

“It’s nothing.” He assured her.

She didn’t look convinced. “I’m your best friend. You know you can tell me.”

He sighed, standing up before her and taking her hands, pulling her a bit closer. “Ladybug....I…”

“Chat?” She pouted and blinked, batting those long eyelashes at him.

“I...I’ll race you to the Eiffel Tower!” He shouted, grabbing his baton and extending it, already bounding towards the landmark.

Adrien heard her groan and call for him, clearly annoyed, but he just laughed, and kept going. She tried to keep up, swinging across lampposts, but couldn’t beat him after that head start.

He quickly perched on the top of the Tower, standing triumphantly, awaiting Ladybug’s arrival.

“Chat!” She panted. “Why’d you run? Can you please just tell me what’s wrong?”

 He sighed, his stomach dropping again. No turning back now.

 “My Lady,” Adrien stepped forward and took her hands in his again. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

She looked up at him expectantly, those soft, pink lips parted ever-so-slightly. God, she was NOT helping to still his beating heart right now.

“...Becoming Chat Noir was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Adrien started. “I’m freer, now. You don’t know much about it, but you know I don’t exactly have the...easiest home situation-”

Ladybug gently squeezed his hands, comfortingly.

“But being Chat Noir allows me to do so many of the things that I’d never be allowed to do as Ad- as my civilian self. I fight bad guys. I do good things. I get to run and jump and make friends and...be myself. For the first time in forever.

“But...the best thing about being Chat Noir isn’t the freedom. Or the glory. Or all the food that civilians give me for free. Or all the endless cat puns.”

 He chuckled at that. She rolled her eyes, but retained that small smile. He carressed her cheek.

“The best thing about being Chat Noir...is being able to be your partner, Ladybug. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t stop thinking about you. And lately...I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t do...anything. Because…”

“Chat…”

“Because I need you to know. I love you, Ladybug. Like. Really love you.”

Ladybug gasped, softly, and stepped back a bit, releasing her hands from his. She, instead, placed them on herself- one over her open mouth, the other on her chest. 

There was a pregnant pause while he let her take it all in.

“All this time...all that flirting…?” She asked, after a moment.

He nodded, earnestly.

She sighed, shakily, tears swelling in her eyes. “Oh, Chat...I...I’m sorry-”

His stomach sank. He stepped back. 

“But…my heart already belongs to someone else.”

“Someone...else?”

Oh.

“Yeah…I’m really sorry. If- if things were different. If there wasn’t another guy-”

“No.” Chat responded, shakily. “I get it.”

She placed a gloved hand on his cheek, a tear running down her own. “I’m sorry.”

He pressed himself into her hand, clutching it, but gently returned it to her.

“You can’t help how you feel, I guess.” He laughed, emptily.

“But I’m-”

“Don’t be.” He reassured her, gripping her hand again, and wiping the tear from her soft, freckled cheek. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

She looked devastated for him. He felt a twinge of guilt.

“I shouldn’t have...done this.”

“No. It’s okay.”

He turned away, readying his baton. “I should go.”

“...Are we still friends?”

He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t meet her eyes. Not right now.

“Best friends. Always.”

Before she could formulate a response, he was already gone.

And a total idiot.

And once Adrien was sure he was out her eyeshot, he ran. He ran home. He opened his window and, once he was inside, de-transformed, removed his shoes and coat, and dropped himself on his bed.

“Kid…” Plagg started, actually feeling pity for him, for once.

“Don’t.” Adrien responded, numbly.

Plagg placed a tiny, velvet paw on Adrien’s cheek, sympathetically- comforting him the best he knew how. 

Adrien sobbed himself to sleep that night.

Yeah. Very angsty right now, but I promise it does get fluffier very soon. I have a whole plan for this fic. I’ll most likely post chapter two within a few days because I’m feeling a very strong urge to write right now.  I think maybe it’ll be done within like?? a month or two, give or take.

As always, if you wanna request a one-shot or something, go ahead and shoot a request in my inbox/messages and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. If you have a question of some sort, the same applies!