#maddy rambles

“Y/n?” Director Hotchner calls out, “Do you need a moment?”

A hand rests on my shoulder as I shake my head, leaning my forehead down to the floor. “No it’s fine, keep going.”

The meeting continues, my forehead pressed to the floor and the hand that, I’m assuming belongs to Spencer, rubs small circles across my back in a reassuring way. Once the spinning slows down and I can feel my feet again I lift my head back up and try to pay attention to the conversation that is being had.

“So, what? It’s a poison that is killing these women?” Morgan’s voice says next, my brows furrow in an attempt to concentrate on his words.

“Poison?” I ask, everyone's eyes cast down to where I am sitting on the ground. “Where is the poison coming from?” My eyes snap up to meet Spencer’s searching for the answer.

“The M.E thinks that it was in some kind of mint, which is an odd choice,” Emily says, flipping through the reports in front of her. “You don’t look so good Y/n, you sure you’re okay?”

My face pales in realization, the mint I swallowed earlier begs to make a reappearance. The panic must be evident on my face, “You need to take me to the hospital right now.” Everyone gives me an odd look, and Spencer’s movements cease. “I had one of the mints from the front desk. The other women must have too. They were all the day before they died. I need to get to the hospital.”

The team springs into action, Hotch on the phone requesting an ambulance to pick me up. Spencer’s arm looping around my waist to try to pull me up off the ground, Derek jumping to the other side. I attempt to stand up on my feet but I can’t feel them again and my head goes more fuzzy than it had before, so I have to heavily lean on the men to even raise myself up.

“Ambulance will be here in two minutes, let’s get her outside,” Hotch announces, and everyone begins to take me outside, discussing my dizziness and the way I had been acting.

But I can hardly hear them trying to keep consciousness, I begin talking, “I took a mint from the front desk at approximately nine-thirty last night before I went back to the hotel, so if the other woman died within 24 hours, we have a few hours. It was a little red and white candy and it did taste a little funny.”

“Funny how?” Spencer asks, he knew that I was trying to give a statement while I was still conscious.

“Soapy,” I slightly slur, “ I was going to spit it out but I couldn’t find a garbage bin.”

“Who was at the desk?”

“A white man, around 35, He greeted me and offered me the mint,” I let out a gasp, “Spence he’s the unsub you have to g-.” But I can’t finish my sentence as the entirety of my stomach begins to empty, a trash can is thrust underneath me. Once I am finished the paramedic’s are in front of us with a stretcher, I’m pulled out of the boys arms and layed down.

“Spence,” I call out, tears spring to my eyes as panic reaches up my throat for the first time since we discovered I had been poisoned. My hand reaching up towards the sky hoping he would hear me, when his hand grips mine, and his hard rakes my hair out of my face I feel myself relax. “I’m really scared.”

He nods his head, concern laced in his features, “I know baby, but it’s going to be okay.”

Needles are stuck into my arm and people begin to rush around me, trying to get my vitals. “You have to catch him Spence.”

“Garcia is already looking through the surveillance cameras to try to find out who we’re looking for. You don’t even need to worry, just hold on Y/n,” He presses his lips to my forehead just as my stretcher is lifted into the ambulance. Our hands disconnect and the paramedics talk around me.

“Sir, are you coming with us?” One of them asks, to whom I assume is Spencer.

“Hotch?”

“We’ve got it here, keep her safe,” Hotch replies to him encouraging him to get into the ambulance with me, and I assume he does, but I couldn’t tell you. The panic in my chest and all of the voices and the spinning of my head and the numbness of my body make it hard to tell what is happening to me. People keep saying things like ‘focus on my voice’ or ‘breathe for me’ and all i can do is lie limp on the stretcher, paralysed. My eyes flick around rapidly but I can’t find Spencer at all and a part of me fears he didn’t come. I close my eyes and try to feel each part of my body, and I notice a heaviness in my left hand and I know that he's with me. With that knowledge I let darkness overcome me and I slip away, the last thing I hear is monitors blipping all around me, indicating my heart rate has slowed dramatically.

The smiling face of Spencer fades in from the darkness, and he lets out a laugh of pure joy. A smile comes to my face as I extend my hand out to meet his cheek.

“Hi Spence,” I say softly, “Where are we?” My eyes glance around the pitch blackness.

He says nothing in response and just gestures up towards where a screen is now suddenly playing the view of an operating room. People run around working quickly, trying to keep the person on the table alive. Words I don't fully understand are thrown around and tools that send shivers down my spine are thrusted into the person's body, trying to get the heart to restart. Someone in the room runs past the front of the table knocking the drape off of the person's face. It's me.

Panic claws its way at my chest and machines begin beeping crazily from the screen. Tears meet my eyes.

“What is happening Spence?” I ask turning back to where he had previously been standing only to be met with nothing. My breathing starts to deepen and my head starts spinning. My knees collapse from beneath me and I slam my fists into the ground, wanting nothing more than to be back into the real world, holding Spencer’s hand. Catching the guy that poisoned me.

It’s almost as if the ground swallows me up and spits me back out as I open my eyes again and find myself in a hospital room. The first sensation that comes to me is that my mouth is dry, like very dry. The next thing I notice is that I am freezing everywhere except my left hand. I cast my eyes down and I am met with my boyfriend's fluffy brown locks, his head rested on the edge of my hospital bed, his hand linked with mine.

I attempt to squeeze his hand to get his attention and before I can even think about what to say to him his head has snapped up, eyes locking with mine. A wide grin spread across his face and he leans up to press a soft kiss to my forehead.

“I missed you so much,” is all he says, before he presses the button to alert the nurse that you were awake. “Water?”

I nod my head gently, taking a sip of the cup that he had raised up for me. “Did you catch him yet?”

Spencer’s face changes then, his face conveys that this news is going to be hard to handle. “Louis Thompson, aged thirty seven, widow and a chemist. He laced the mints with some drug Aconite, a drug that paralyses the nerves, and muscles. He was found in the precinct bathroom after ingesting an unknown amount of the mints, dead on the scene.” I nod my head trying to make sense of the situation.

“How long has it been?”

“Your heart stopped on the way to the hospital, twice however paramedics were able to resuscitate you,” He says, eyes locked with yours, the only emotion that can be found is fear, however, i can tell that he's trying to only use facts when explaining this all to me to avoid letting his own tears fall, “Once in the emergency room your liver began to fail, however, the doctors on your case were quick to figure out the drug used, and they were able to appropriately assess the situation. Your heart stopped once again in the trauma room and they were once again able to restart it. They injected you with atropine and you stabilized quickly after that. That took a total of three hours and twenty-one minutes. That was almost seven hours ago.”

“Thank you,” I say, my hand gripping him even tighter.

“I was so scared Y/n, I couldn’t help you,” He says, eyes shining with tears. A nurse comes in, forcing Spencer and me to break apart while she assesses me and makes sure everything is okay.

“I’m going to call the team and let them know you’re awake, they are downstairs,” He says, a faint smile on his face as he exits the room, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

The nurse leaves soon after determining that I’m doing perfectly fine, telling me to take it easy and to press the button if I have any discomfort, and not even seconds later the rest of my team is parading in through the door, smiles on their faces, albeit a few tear stains.

“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” I say letting out a laugh, my own subtle way of letting them know that I’m fine. My eyes rake across the group's faces, locking eyes with each of them, their faces practically unmoving as they study me. “Guys come on, I’m alright.”

Suddenly, as if they had been broken out of a trance they gather around the sides of my bed.

“Glad to see you’re okay Agent L/n,” Hotch says, with a nod and a small smile.

“I was so worried,” JJ says, placing a reassuring hand onto my shoulder.

I give her a watery smile, tears rising to my eyes and pat her hand, turning my face around the group, “I was too, but I’m fine now. I promise,” I begin to search for Spencer, wanting the comfort he gives me, “Where did Spence go?”

Panic builds in my throat, making talking impossible. The machine still hooked up to my chest starts to beep rapidly, making the whole room aware of the fear that is taking a hold of me.

“Hey no, it's okay, I'll go find him, he probably just went to go get a coffee,” Morgan says reassuringly, tapping my leg and walking out of the hospital room.

Once he has completely left the room. “I need you to tell me the truth, how did Spencer handle it? Should I be worried?”

“He wasn’t calm,” JJ begins, “But he let us do our job. He stayed out of the way and tried to keep his mind busy the best he could, in the only way he could, he worked the case from the waiting room. Y/n, he was angry and scared, but he was still Spencer, I don’t think you need to worry. He didn’t go off the rails, he was here, waiting for you.”

I nod my head, fresh tears falling slowly down my cheeks, in the corner of my eyes I notice the boys on their way back, I quickly wipe my tears away, not wanting Spencer to see me upset.

“There are the boys,” I say, stretching my hand out towards Spencer, and as our hands link I bring my eyes up to meet his and notice that they’re bloodshot and rimmed in red. He had been crying. My heart drops in my chest and I force a smile up at him. I can tell her notices my red eyes too by the way his soften and his other hand reaches up to brush down my cheek softly.

“We really should be leaving, we will see you both soon,” Hotch announces, encouraging the other to follow his lead, each saying a swift goodbye and good luck on their way out the door.

Once they’re all gone I let out a sigh and close my eyes, relaxing my body into the hospital bed.

“I missed you,” Spencer says softly, taking a seat in the chair next to mine.

“Please kiss me Spence, “ I practically beg him, allowing my eyes to water. He leans over quickly pressing his lips to mine softly. His own tears mixing with mine along our cheeks. The kiss doesn’t progress any further, just remaining innocent, letting us be together.

He pulls away, wiping his thumbs underneath my eyes, ridding my face of tears, before doing the same to his own.

“I promise you Spence, I’m okay,” I smile, “When can I go home?”

“They want to observe you for a few more hours and then I can take you home,” He says, a faint smile on his lips, “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

I feel my head nod as the painkillers that I’m assuming they gave me begin to kick in and the world begins to slip away.