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this is killing me
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nothing good happens in this story.
originally the pseudo-incest in android story was gonna be much more subtextual but it kept coming together so clearly. which makes sense considering its origins. but replacement husband-child while also keeping android narrator as a secret lover figure..........if [redacted] hurts the closest thing she has to her husband and her child and feels something, could she feel something while hurting them in a real situation? and does that mean she could love them? but it also gets interesting once [redacted] starts viewing android narrator as a daughter specifically. (this is the only time she ever genders android narrator too.) like...separating her from her own son. android narrator perceives herself as woman-adjacent in a way, which is why i call her she, but i think [redacted] views her as female to...do what has been done to her. because that's it, it's not just about seeing if she can feel anything at all by hurting something that's "ethical" to hurt, it's also about being as powerful as she can be in a situation where she isn't powerful at all. you can't take the motherhood out of the story.
playing a lovely little game of "how awful can i make [redacted] and have her remain interesting and not immediately irredeemable to people" and it's less like a game of chicken and more like juggling
i lied i'm talking about [redacted] again. god it's so important that she's a woman and a wife and a mother. even before her role as a mother to android narrator became obvious to me she was associated with motherhood. it's no coincidence her life--a life the audience won't get to see--revolves around men. she degenders android narrator until she calls her her daughter. the only time she genders android narrator is when she's calling her her daughter. she says that for a long time she thought she wanted a daughter instead of a son. but that she really doesn't want anyone at all. the only reason she "opens up" to android narrator is because she views her as an object, something she can power off at any time. something she can destroy at any time.
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i can't quite say incest haunts my android story anymore because it's gotten quite blatant but there's still something else there. something that does haunt it that's adjacent.
13, 18, 19 for redacted :]
13. Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?
i do not π i feel like she'd have a very distinct voice but i haven't quite decided if it's more smooth or raspy. she's definitely not loud but not shy-quiet either.
18. Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?
oh this is an excellent question to ask for her. she does have a family! she has a husband and a son you never meet. her existing in a vacuum is slightly the point, the story takes place in this little pocket outside her everyday life, and i don't know how much you learn about her husband and child but they're there.
they ARE important even though they never show up, because [redacted] buys the illegally hacked android that is android narrator for reasons related to her family. she has no love for her husband and her son, has no love for anyone at all. she feels nothing. she wants to see if she can feel anything, and she gets the closest thing she can to a person to hurt, because if she can feel guilt maybe she can feel love. i said before that she's trying to access her capacity for love through her capacity for cruelty.
also her husband works for the government finding and destroying unauthorized androids :)
as for her parents and her family from birth, i don't think she has any. or they don't care about her. she wouldn't care about them either.
19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?
i can't choose just one, i love her so much. she's so fascinating to me. i love that she's the worst. i love that she's cruel without being sadistic because she gains no pleasure from it, i love that she finds some love in that cruelty, i love that she forms some fucked up motherdaughterlover relationship with something that she views/ed as an object and nothing else. she's not a good person. she's completely powerless in her life and creates a situation where she has complete power. she sucks so bad and i love her with my whole heart.
there's plenty of things to hate her for but every trait of hers that is repugnant is so fascinating. she's easy to hate, in theory, but easier to be completely entranced by.
19 for android narrator?
19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?
what an interesting question for her...for favorites i definitely don't have a normal answer the first thing that came to mind was "her victimhood." which is insane. and then the second thing that came to mind was "her desperation."
to combine them, i think it's her desperation to not think of herself as a victim. her desperation to be thought of as more. more than objectdaughterloverobject. but she exists in this uniquely vulnerable state, made even more vulnerable by the fact that she's slowly gaining more of her body parts as the story goes on. i suppose my favorite thing about her is that nothing good happens to her. she comes to life to be tortured and she either dies alone or is stuck in the life she came into. there is no escape for her. there is no way for her to be well, to be happy, to be someone. the closest she'll get to someone rather than something is with [redacted], as a substitute for a daughter she never had that she would have hated, and a substitute for a secret lover she couldn't bring herself to care about. outside the apartment the story takes place in, she is spare parts. inside, she is abused.
crucially, though, she doesn't hate [redacted]. or rather, she doesn't only hate her. she idolizes her she loves her she wants to be more to her. (and in some ways she is, but that's for another post.) she hates her in some ways too, but the hate is so much less interesting.
my least favorite thing about her isn't so much about her but more about writing her and it's balancing the blank slate, android aspect of her character with the emotional, human side. but it's a struggle for her within the story too, to reconcile these. to find herself.
