#m:lily

1st Like My Own Mind - Arabella and Edgar meet at Hogsmeade for a coffee. They discuss Branwen snooping around Hogsmeade and Fabian having gotten a job at Hogwarts, with Edgar showing himself reluctant to reach out to him there as Hogwarts is meant to be a safe place for Fabian, and Edgar is only the bringer of war-news.

2nd At The Sweets’ Shop - Edgar goes to buy some sweets, but Dedalus, who Edgar has held a grudge against since school, keeps him for much longer than expected by talking and talking. For them, it’s a rather typical encounter -- until Dedalus mentions that he sees no point in joining the Fighting Club, despite needing to learn how to protect himself better. Edgar asks how he fights in battles, then, and Dedalus replies that he isn’t a great fighter and that if he finds himself in a battle, he simply removes himself. Edgar sees himself in this answer, as he too is anything but a strong fighter and used to run away, trying to find clever solutions out of situations rather than facing the battle head on. Remembering such situations, especially those that have gone wrong, he explains that sometimes you can’t remove yourself, either because of the circumstances or because there’s a person you love who’s still fighting, and that everyone thus needs to know their place on a battlefield. That if Caradoc wanted Dedalus in the Fighting Club, it’s not just to remove his weaknesses, but also to make use of his strengths, emphasising that Dedalus has a sharp mind which could be of great asset. But Dedalus misunderstands and thinks Edgar’s implying he’ll leave those he loves behind and says he’ll just do as Edgar does, and this is the last straw for Edgar. The idea someone might do as he did, copy all his mistakes, when all he wants is to protect and ensure the very opposite, it’s one of his greatest fears. With his poise lost, he lays all those mistakes out for Dedalus to see, as a warning and as a question: How could anyone think Edgar thinks himself faultless? Why would anyone possibly want to copy him? 

Uncapitalist Shopping Spree - Agitated by having reminded himself of the many deaths he has caused, he goes to find Amelia. The two haven’t really talked ever since February 14th, ever since Amelia had been brought to the Potter Estate, seeing the Order in action, and a lot of stuff built up. So after they go steal some books just for the rush of it, the twins blurt out all their fears at each other, opening themselves up completely. Ainsley. Mundungus. Rigby and the heritage. Caradoc. It ends with Amelia demanding to join the Order and Edgar knows better than to fight her stubbornness. Thus, he brings her to Caradoc.

At Strongarm - Edgar tells Caradoc Amelia wants to join the Order and they need to procure a Tag for her as fast as possible. Caradoc says it’ll take time but he’ll work on it. Amelia leaves and Caradoc and Edgar are left alone together, which is where Edgar breaks down. It’s the first time in six years (since the day he caused the death of the other Order members, which he implied to Dedalus) he cries. Amelia being in the war means putting her in danger, a danger Edgar can’t protect her from. He reminds Caradoc that if Amelia dies, so will he.

3rd On/Off Duty - Needing to take his mind off things, Edgar goes to the theatre, where he meets their newest recruit, Annalise Fawley. They talk all things theatre and Edgar finds himself fairly charmed by her.

6th Dignity and Love to not Blend Well - Severus and Edgar are just done discussing all that there is to know on the spy-front, as every Saturday morning, when they mention the Fighting Club. Severus explains that he did pass the sorting test and made it into the good group, but would rather die on the battlefield than train with Sirius Black. Edgar however -- seeing his younger self in Severus’ arrogance -- reminds Severus that he’s way too valuable to die. Anxious that his explanation might be met with misunderstanding again, like with Dedalus, he explains more clearly that the Fighting Club is more than just curse-training, it’s also a way to find out about your fellow members’ strengths and weaknesses. The main take-away, however, is that Edgar feels like he has once again gotten to know his partner a little better.

8th Calendrical - Maddy Warren is initiated into the Order. Afterwards, Mary and Edgar discuss the newest updates: Maurice, the DTF, Maddy. They also discuss that it’s time to leave their position of defense behind and start attacking first, which is something Edgar has only been waiting for for quite some time now, waiting especially for the right person to pick up a wand and go for it. In a way he knows that defense can only go so far, and attacking first is, in the long run, the best way to protect everyone.

9th It’s the big moving day. Most everything that can be transported, is brought from the Potter Estate to the House of Bones.  The Map, the Minutes, all Tags, all plans and lists and artifacts of value are moved, leaving behind mostly the things that wouldn’t have a safe place to store yet, namely various items from the infirmary, as they want to leave what they don’t understand to Emmeline and her expertise and system. 

Dripping Water Hollows Out Stone - Afterwards, Edgar has Amelia and Fabian meet -- without letting them know beforehand -- and forces them to make up. He tells them that he belongs to no one and if he gets hurt, it’s his own fault, and no one should feel responsible for having to protect him.

10th The Cursed Disco - Frank brings sneakoscopes into the House of Bones, which all go off as the house is filled with potentially mistrustful objects and energies. But Edgar reminds Frank, that it’s not the Order who needs to mistrust the House, but the House needs to mistrust the Order; the people of the Order brings danger with them (once again thinking of the idea of ‘Illness’ as well as his plans with Caradoc to test their fellow members in the future), and they should find a way to ensure trust amongst the Order soon.

12th Hide and Seek -  After their night together on January 6th, Edgar has done his most to avoid Mundungus Fletcher, while Mudnugngus did his most to cross paths with Edgar. The pettiness resolves now in Edgar’s old room, where Mudndusgus goes to steal something and instead finds more than two dozen posters of himself plastered on the walls. Edgar, more than embarrassed, promises to take them down, but Mudnugngus quickly has a new objective: Edgar’s key-earring seems like something marvelous to steal. The key-earring made of many keys holds one key, which Edgar is keeping safe: it opens the cabinet to Caradoc’s heart, his warmest memories, and when Edgar realises it’s gone, he panics, fearing he has failed to protect his best friend.

13th - 18th Edgar and Caradoc begin preparing their Test, while Edgar also studies James’ plan on how to find out the spy, which he gave him exactly a month ago. It feels like much longer.

18th Another One Knows - On the night of the 17th, Severus finds Edgar and tells him that Peter is the spy. Edgar meets with Peter and orders him to wait for an opportunity, when that opportunity arises, he will fake his death and hide in the House of Bones for protection. Peter is grateful, but Edgar doesn’t do this out of friendship or pity. He’s doing it like this because he knows that Peter is worth more alive than dead right now, and that if he scares the boy away now, he’ll go to the Other Side forever, and his friends will have to grieve yet another friend. It’s those friends, Lily, Sirius, Remus, that Edgar thinks of when he dismisses Peter and tells no one about it, wanting to believe that if only Peter will be shown enough love, he will make the right decisions in the future. 

21st The Battle of Diagon - Actually, Edgar meant to meet up with Marlene and show her a tour of the House, so when the battle news break, he’s with her. She’s the one who keeps him from going upstairs to the Map room and apparates him to Diagon Alley instead. He thinks of all the conversations he’d had this month about trust and battle fighting, and how little time they had to prepare, and it’s only when he sees the young Efa Chittock that he snaps out of it. 

Protection - Running into a battlefield isn’t always the smartest choice, even if it’s to help her friend Dorcas, and while Efa isn’t too pleased by being held back at first, she quickly realises that Edgar’s plan sounds indeed like she’d be able to protect more people more easily that way. So they run into a house and up to the third floor, from which they defend their fellow Order members downstairs. Because Efa is doing well, Edgar leaves her not too long after, ordering her to stay where she is. 

Inside the Sweets Shop - On his way to the side streets, to which the battle is slowly spreading, he sees Dedalus and Fabian inside Dedalus’ shop. He hurries to enter and ward everything, but not before giving Fabian his protective coat and sending him out into battle, telling him to show up for a date tomorrow night. Punctual. Alive. Then Edgar and Dedalus take care of the kids caught inside the shop, as well as the knocked out Death Eater, before, suddenly, Voldemort appears. 

Voldemort is targeting Dorcas and Annalise, and Edgar pushes Dedalus deeper into the shop. But realising that Dorcas being in danger will draw Efa down from her hide-out, Edgar runs back into the street as well, and together, from opposite sides of the road, they ward off any attempts of making it even harder on Dorcas and Annalise. 

Aftermath - Once back at the HQ, Edgar takes notes on everything that happened, on everything they lost.

Rigby and the Phoenix Part I - During the Debriefing, someone knocks on the door. It turns out it’s Rigby, who has just learnt today that this war is real, that the Death Eaters are really real, that the Order is really real, and who is now learning that his own siblings are in fact part of the Order. 

In This Play, We Reveal What Type of People We Are - Edgar works late into the night until he sees Peter Pettigrew watching him from the shadows. He learns that Peter faked his own death and now requires Edgar’s protection. 

22nd When Preparation Meets Opportunity - During the Battle of Diagon, Edgar gave his Phoenix Tag to Efa, aware that the Other Side already knows of him. He told her that once all of the veterans will be gone, they’ll need fresh faces to surprise the Other Side, which wasn’t a very comforting thought but at least had Efa accept the Tag. Now she is bringing it back to him, and Edgar, who worked all night through on the hostage and the List they found again, allows himself a moment of smiles: he is proud of Efa for how she fought yesterday and invites her to a breakfast. Perhaps also to charge her with some secret tasks.

The Inevitable Catastrophe - Peter has to pretend he’s dead. But Edgar doesn’t want his closest friends to go through the grief of losing another friend, so he brings them in to allow them to know he’s fine. He makes them promise not to ask questions and finds himself disappointed that wanting to know what happened is all that’s on their mind anyway, believing that if Peter doesn’t feel loved, he might betray them again. When Remus offers to stay over, he’s relieved. Afterwards, he burns the plan James made to find out the spy, as it could now risk Peter’s life but also out of disappointment for not having been of more use. He asks the question: Protecting Peter, giving him a second chance, it’s smart, but is it fairness or weakness?

The End of Alcott Avery - Artem and Bran brought in a hostage, which is being interrogated all through the night and the next day. After the thing with Peter is taking care of, Edgar joins Severus for a last interrogation, but Avery brings barely any new information to the table, and before they can do anything, Bran kills him with a knife. 

24th Beginnings are Endings - The attack on Diagon brought more attention to the Order than ever before -- it seems -- and with that attention comes a new recruit: Lucinda Talkalot. On the 24th, Edgar finds her snooping around the House of Bones, and so Edgar gives her a little tour to test her.

25th The End of Alcott Avery Part II - At the office of the Daily Prophet, the news break that the family of Alcott Avery has fled, and Edgar realises quickly that it’s got to do with the murder of Alcott. He writes Caradoc to tell him, though he doesn’t quite know for which goal, and sees Ainsley across the office also reaching for stationery, possibly to inform the Other Side of the same.

28th Rigby and the Phoenix Part II - Edgar goes to meet Rigby at his apartment, finding Andros instead. The two have a pleasant conversation until Rigby comes home and bans Edgar from ever talking to his family again, as Edgar is ‘dangerous’. 

Omnia Muntantur - After this, Edgar’s mental health deteriorates and he begins warding everything more intensely, the intrusive thoughts forcing more and more patterns into his life. Meeting with Marlene after the fiasco at Rigby’s brings him at least some relaxation.

But the problem was that while, yes, fighting this war -- winning it! -- was what should be the single most important thing on any soldier’s mind, there was and would always be one thing that mattered more to Edgar. One person.

One person for which he would drop the war, leave it all behind, turn his back on its outcome, careless. And as he ran out into the garden, ran past fleeing people, spell-bolts and the sound of panic, there was only her he could think of.

Caradoc had promised to go find Amelia, and Edgar knew better than not to trust him, and so he ran, ran with a beating heart and the little wooden box pressed against his chest, ran as fast as he could to get it to safety -- and yet reached the gate with her on his mind.

He’d come by foot, come through this gate, but when his hands met the iron, a hiss of pain spiked through his body. Locked. The Rosiers had locked the gates, possibly to avoid uninvited guests just marching in. Or had they perhaps seen all of this coming? Edgar still didn’t know what had caused the sudden battle, but now was not the time to ponder. He had to get out of here.

Unfortunately, turning around was no option. Before him stood someone, her wand raised at him. With a sinking feeling -- so much more akin to disappointment than fear -- Edgar recognised her as one of the Rosiers. And more. Recognised that he had less than a breath to get away safely.

He shut his eyes, turned on his foot, and thought: Potter Estate. His belly button became a black hole and before Rosier could even utter her cantantion, Edgar was gone. Clutching the wooden box, he pictured it clearly: Potter Estate. The house. The garden. The driveway. Conjured up every ounce of concentration to picture it all, the people waiting there currently hovering over the Map, the missions they had held in its room in the past, the long conversations on the door step, behind the windows, the sound of the gravel as you walked up to it and how welcoming this place had always felt like, how safe, and how safe it would be to get there, put the wooden box into safe hands, Lily’s safe hands, and see her smile, see her smile for knowing that for once all had gone well and knowing that there was a chance that this war would be over soon and she’d never have to attend such a party ever again because there’d be no Death Eaters and no Order, only peace and safety and easy happiness and perhaps they’d be able to go back to Mexico and--

Edgar let out a scream. There was the gravel, so close, far too close, but he couldn’t see it; his vision blurred. He called her name. Then again, but this time the right one: “Lily!” The one that should call back.

Where was the box, why couldn’t he feel it? His other hand, his wand hand, frantically searched for it, and there it was, still clutched against his chest -- why couldn’t he feel it? He didn’t actually ask, after all, he knew the sensation too well. It didn’t matter, as long as the box was safe, nothing mattered, just like Caradoc had said.

“Lily!” he called again, and for a moment his vision came back, and he saw the house and he tried to push himself back up but his body was on fire and not soon after a hand was on his chest and pushed him back into the gravel. Words met him, or rather a distant voice, as its content seemed incomprehensible. But he did recognise the voice, and he knew it wasn’t Lily Evans. “Where’s Lily?”

The voice was more forceful then but Edgar shook his head. “No. No, I can’t-... This matters more. Where’s Lily? I need to give this to Lily.” But he was pushed back into the gravel -- it didn’t feel like gravel anymore.

The box slipped from his hand, he clutched onto it once more, shook his head, shook it all the way through the voice demanding it so angrily. It only had him clutch it tighter. This was why he had to give it to Lily. Why no one else could have it. Not Caradoc, not Edgar, not Emmeline. No one who was susceptible to the darkness of such magic. It had to be someone who loved.

Someone who was warm. Who held you when you were afraid. Who told you stories and tickled you, who baked you cake and listened to you ramble, for hours and hours, who laughed. Who laughed more freely and more beautifully than anyone else in this world. Proud and strong and clever, but also loving.

Perhaps they should just go to Mexico already. What did the war even matter? Why should they have to die for it? Let the British deal with their own mess, get everyone out of the country who didn’t want to matter either. Nothing mattered. Only her.

Make sure it’s safe. That’s all that matters right now. Just make sure it’s safe.

Edgar’s eyes sprung open again. Emmeline was towering over him, blood-smeared, serious, the wooden box in her hand. Edgar clutched her wrist -- his hand too was bathed in blood. “Don’t-,”

“I’m bringing it to Lily, I promise. Please rest now.”

“Don’t open it.” Make sure you’re safe. Make sure we’re safe.

“I know. I promise.”