Running the gossip mill isn’t all parties and Superior Red — the Black Family’s super exclusive and scarce red wine. You know, gossip is a round-the-clock job...
Okay, fine, it’s a lot of parties and exotic drinks, actually.
I might not be saving lives in St. Mungo’s, but I’m saving your social lives, people, and that’s every bit as important. For those non-believers, I’ll share just a few of the questions that keep me up late into the night lately (when I don’t have a party, that is)
The premature male midlife crisis
What’s with our Golden Boy's recent sightings? Sure, they sort of match his all-Gucci wardrobe, but since when was he so . . . outre? I heard he was seen on Monday at a new guest-list-only club in Mayfair called Reform. Is it one of the famed, super exclusive London Gentlemen’s Clubs, or is this a very boys-only kind of scene — if you know what I mean. Could it be that since he’s already been hit on by every female in the city, he’s moved on to the males?
Here for you
The other boy I’m a little concerned about is my personal favorite, L. Yes, he’s still as hot as ever, and yes, I would give up my Delacroix Enchanté bag to be his fairy princess. I just wish he’d stop lurking around Southwark looking like a nervous wreck. If he needs a hand to hold he knows where to find me.
Nice body, I mean, hair
Every member of The Elite looks a bit different lately — I’m convinced it’s the new Beauté+ Power Moisturizer working its wonders. However, the greatest transformation of all is the usually basic-looking M — J’s husband. If you haven’t seen him since this morning, this is breaking news: he got a haircut! It’s definitely the work of the old man barber on St. James Street, but his forehead and sweet brown eyes are actually visible now, which is definitely an improvement. The short-sleeved t-shirt and tight jeans he was wearing might have helped too. He’s got it going on! so for once we're jealous of J!
It’s going to be a sultry, bustling month, people, but you know I never rest. You’ll always know who’s coming, who’s going, who’s crashing the hottest parties on The Magic Lamp — Logan Fraser's super posh club — The Coven and even those tacky parties at places like Chez Olivier. After all, I’m everywhere.
You know you love me,
XOXO,
— GOSSIP WITCH
