#ly projecting

Not the ask game but an ask about LY as someone who has read every single word multiple times. (honestly it means a lot).

Before the fic went on hiatus and after the Tonight Show storyline the Dan character was bursting to say 'I love you' to Phil and you talked about how much he felt it walking through NY. I'd love to know why they never have despite the progression?

Did your view change is it a deliberate decision to show through the physical actions? I'd love to know

thank you for reading all the words multiple times <3 they take so much time and it's always nice to hear that people revisit them

(ly ask game/AMA post)

as for the ILY part, especially re: the new york chapter, i've broken my thoughts down into a few major themes! this was a very interesting question and led to thinking through/putting words to some good things, so thanks!

ly!phan was (and still is) baby: the weekend in new york is just a few days after their first official date, and even now, we're only about 2 months out from dan being single, and nearly a month out from them kissing. in a fic about healthy relationships, i don't want them to actually drop an ily like seven seconds into being together

ly!dan's mental state: important context is that dan was drunk during (a lot of) the NYC chapter. doesn't necessarily make his feelings/desires any less real (though drunk thoughts are not always True Thoughts), but it definitely was a more impulsive/intense moment for him because of alcohol. also, dan was running on higghhhhh emotions overall that weekend -- he'd just come out, his ex was trying to slander him in the tabloids, jetlag, the euphoria of getting to dabble in a lil bit of gender fuckery, and probably other things i can't remember. having the adrenaline of allll of that magnified his infatuation/feelings for phil. which again, doesn't necessarily make them less real, but does put them in context

ly!dan's shit past relationships: since that weekend, dan's had an awakening into the broad shittiness of his past relationships. i imagine dan has often been the More Invested partner in his situationships, and a long term pattern of that probably makes saying ily scarier.

ly!dan's focus on growth: starting in the weekend in new york, dan realized he wanted to work on (and actively started working on) his communication skills. he's determined to at least make a solid effort to be mature and healthy about this, which includes a cursory effort at not rushing things and ties into the next point of,

ly!dan's deep desire to not fuck things up: what it says on the tin. ly!dan will do just about anything to not fuck up the first relationship that's ever made him feel truly happy and seen, and that includes doing his damnedest to hold in an ily that's desperate to explode in case it scares phil off/phil isn't ready

ly!dan finds actions less scary than words: since ly!dnp have gotten together, we've seen dan favor expressing Big Emotions in actions, not words he says to phil (giving phil a fob, writing music about phil, sending phil a song by text and asking phil not to talk about it), which is a purposeful pattern. the push and pull for intimacy vs self-preservation/protection is strong, and i think dan is better at expressing his love when he can do it in ways he doesn't have to look directly at, ya feel?