#ly asks

a rlly big thing i’ve noticed abt them is that they’re both very self-reliant but also rely on each other in a way.

like both could stand their ground if they needed to fight but rely so heavily on the other??

like 4c’s only rlly still there bc of nom. and while (i think?) he could leave, he doesn’t. same for nominal. he could abandon 4c if he rlly wanted to but he doesn’t. not even when 4c steals from him on a regular basis.

which brings me to my next point.

neither want to be alone again.

they rely on each other not only bc they jst need to to survive but bc what happens if their abandoned again. what happens when the silence is filled with bickering? what happens when their finally alone?

also i feel like nom’s brain is actively trying to blame 4c for everything. like actively telling him that if he jst had killed 4c everything would be better. but then the other part of him realizes that if he were to kill 4c, he’d be alone.

so he blames himself for everything.

bc blaming and hating himself is better that hating 4c. bc he’s so much worse of a person than 4c is.

a another thing is neither are very angsty unless alone with like one person. which seems more like a ditch effort to make sure that the person won’t leave.

i haven’t seen anything like that with shan and nom but from some clips, he doesn’t rlly say anything unless he’s completely alone with one person. same goes for 4c.

they’re both loners. both outcasted (or at least threatened to be). both abandoned and lost. both mourning something that might have never been true.

it started off as a bounty over 4c’s head but it’s grown into so much more than that. it’s grown into an reliance that neither will turn their back on the other. neither will leave bc their the only real thing both have left.

As the popular story goes, Kitty Genovese was murdered in front of 38 of her neighbors who listened to her cry for help for half an hour before she died, never calling the police or chasing the murderer off.

(The actual truth is bit more complicated than that. At least one neighbor did intervene long enough to scare off the murderer, which allowed an injured Kitty to get into her building, which left her vulnerable and isolated in a stairwell when the murdered came back. People did, at some point, call the police. Also, her queerness is largely erased in retellings because this happened in the 1960s, and media didn't want The Lesson to get buried in homophobia.)

But regardless of the specifics, her murder gave way to the "bystander effect" -- wherein the more people who bear witness to something, the less likely they are to intervene. The idea is that, when responsibility becomes too diffuse amongst individuals, no one person is compelled into action.

I think the bystander effect is part of what makes fandom so potentially harmful -- especially as fandom spaces have moved predominantly online, where being an anonymous face behind the screen creates an even bigger distancing from responsibility. In many way, we're all bystanders in fandom -- a virtual (and sometimes physical) crowd of people coalescing around creators and/or their content.

It's important to recognize that this diffusion of responsibility -- and the subsequent lack of action -- is a documented phenomenon. It's happened countless times throughout human history and will probably happen countless times again. It's a factor of what played into the phandom's water getting so hot because it' was like "Hey, there is some wild shit going on here but... well, nobody else seems to be doing anything about it. Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'm the one who's drawing the line in the wrong place. Maybe someone already did something and things are about to get better."

Nowadays, when psychology classes teach the bystander effect, they also teach how to interrupt it. How to break it and jar people into action.

Education: Literally telling people what the bystander effect is and that it will try to influence them to be less action-oriented in times of crisis makes people more likely to intervene in a bystander situation. Making people aware of the fallacy weakens it, means that people know what to look for and know that, if they don't step up, it's possible no one will.

Assigning responsibility to specific people: If you ever find yourself in bystander effect situation, doling out jobs to specific people overrides the diffusion of responsibility and jars people into action. It's the difference of saying "Someone call 911!" and looking a bystander dead in the eye and saying "I need you to call 911."

Community and norms: Establishing a sense of community and developing rules -- even (or maybe especially) informal rules -- about acceptable behavior makes it more likely that people will respond during times of need. Partially, people want to take care of communities they are in; communities naturally increase people's sense of responsibility. Also, norms are generally created by the community for the community, as opposed to imposed upon the community by a governing body. This often gives them more weight and creates a more internalized sense of responsibility to follow the rules. And, in the same breath, to intervene with other people violate them.

One person's action can create a landslide of action: In many studies and cases of the bystander effect, it's clear that once one person starts reacting to the situation (e.g., calling attention to the fact that the room was filling with smoke -- a real psych study that was conducted in the aftermath of Kitty's murder), the diffusion of responsibility is often snapped and the crowd often becomes jolted into action.

A couple of researchers also published a model for interrupting the bystander effect, which is a more streamlined version of my waffling above (but I remembered it after I wrote the above stuff and I like the above stuff, so I'm adding instead of editing):

Notice the event (if the bathwater is too hot, people might not notice)

Interpret the situation as an emergency (the fear of being judging or ridiculed for "overreacting" plays in here. This is why having those community norms can be helpful; they help make it clear when something is a Problem)

Assume responsibility (ties into the 4th point I made)

Know what to do (this is a critical step that I think we as a fandom could have a deeper conversation about. What do we do when we see people crossing a boundary? Is there something more helpful that we could do than blocking a problematic tumblr account?)

Decide to help

I think it's our responsibility as a fandom to know that this happens and to do our best to combat it. To modulate ourselves and correct boundary-crossing behavior from within, because by the time anything ends up on dnp's radar, it's too out of control. Too late to intervene.

I won't lie; posting 42 and the subsequent debrief was fucking terrifying. It's the kind of thing that probably would have gotten me eaten alive in the 2017 phandom. I worried about pushback in comments, about people complaining that they don't want their leisure fic to force self-reflection or critique the phandom/fandom as a whole. That people would accuse me of hating one of the things I love most!

But, as point #4 makes clear, one person jumping into action -- or, in this case, starting a conversation -- can be enough to spark action in other people. The incredibly thoughtful comments and asks I have gotten since I posted prove that! So thank you to all of you who have thought critically and shared your reflections and perspectives. This can't be a conversation if no one talks back.

I encourage everyone to not let their action start and end here, though. This is our fandom and our community and these are our collective favorite creators. It's our jobs to make sure our streets are safe, both for us and for dnp. As we know from Kitty, pretending something bad isn't happening doesn't stop the bad thing from happening.

(this is only written in my phone is if it’s rlly bad that’s why lol)

vsmp section :3

main reason i ship them in vsmp is bc of their first interaction being pyro complementing abolish outfit, they’re so adorable djjsjjjksjkajwaj :3

basically i rlly love them mainly bc pyro has always seen themself as a monster/outcast. he’s never belonged

but abolish doesn’t see rumor or expectations, he sees people for who they are. he forms his own opinions, leading to him viewing pyro has a human and not a monster (if that makes sense)

ALSO pyro has given abolish a wither rose (or multiple if forgo) and abolish jst accepted even tho it was after pyro had been turned.

and all the fanfiction is sooo good omgg <333

cbsmp section

they don’t interact too much in cowboys BUT doesn’t stop me from shipping them :3 (i have a fic of them dancing i just need to edit it)

there’s also a short posted by abolish of him sneaking up on pyro which is amazing :3 and also jst their banter in the yahtzee is soo fun (specially the moment where graecie says she’s the only american and they jst slowly look at each other)

others section

they haven’t rlly interacted elsewhere (from what i’ve seen) BUT pyro was part of this project called WHITEPINE, the story follows a maid, ivory, as she adjusts to the hemlock estate!! and pyro is the eldest son of the hemlocks :3

which ofc caused me to create an au where “butler” abolish is assigned to whitepine instead of oakhurst and meets pyro :3

i have more but i don’t want to make this too long (also sorry fk this isn’t what u meant im not very smart :3)

okay so basically hrkjgbkelajr he's literally probably one of my favorite sm omg i love him <3333 (im very normal abt this guy i swear) like hes so sdfnfs;jknhfsk yk? like omg im so excited for his backstory bc according to him (i think?) we're getting it next episode!!!!

i only watch 2 povs (but im very close to watching pyro's lol) and AAAH i love watching his pov so much <33 (literally right after watching his pov i wrote 5k of him lol <3)

its so cinematic and pretty plus all of the flashback stuff to the church makes me so excited to learn his backstory!!!

uhhh okay on to more of his character!!

i rlly love his character so much omg <33!! he feels very silent but deadly in a way yk? especially since he can and will hold himself in a fight if need be <3 and im rlly excited to see him fully just go insane and kill like everyone <3

ESPECIALLY bc of how much ppl seem to underestimate him!! he's constantly talked over, and when he says something important no one rlly pays attention which adds fuel to the fire

he's gotten to the point where he doesnt care anymore, he literally found the last book for the cure and didn't tell anyone bc why would he? they didn't listen and now they wont get the cure (idk if thats his exact thoughts but that would be what i would be thinking lol)

not to mention the whole "time to get back in character" like.... omg bro like whAT DOES THAT MEAN SIR??? i love him sm and his backstory's gonna add so much and e;fhesk;jdnfk;jsdf; im so excited yall omgggg

i could go on for days on how much i love v!abolish lol <3 (but this is rambley enough lol)(also this makes absolutely no sense lol sorry <3)