#lukgi

I had a vision, it’s 12am, I just found out there’s a new fear street, it’s been productive

That new member, Lukey, was somewhat of an interesting case. Pangi felt weird around him, and he wasn’t sure exactly why - something felt different, slightly wrong about his essence, but he couldn’t put his mind to what exactly. Pangi blamed the corruption spreading throughout his left arm for this disturbance - after all, he did gain the ability to feel people’s essence after the prolonged contact with corruption back in his labs, and maybe its physical manifestation was messing with his perception of things - but then again, everyone else’s essence still felt the same. 

But even if Lukey was somehow different from other realmers, did it really matter? Not in Pangi’s eyes, for he was just excited for more members to join the Honey Badgers, although the place quickly started feeling overcrowded as more and more people started joining. For now, he wasn’t too attached - he was still afraid of attachment after everything that happened with Pili, and with the new realmers usually going M.I.A. after a couple of days on the server, he couldn’t allow himself to believe that Lukey would stay around for long. So few others did, after all. 

But there was something so enticing about Lukey as well, something that lured Pangi closer despite the risk, despite the care he put into not getting attached. It might have been the desire to learn what made him different, or the wish to defend him from danger, or just the want to bond with the newest realmer, the newest green member - but he got close. Too close for comfort. Close enough to get attached. 

So when the Kingdom suddenly took interest in him, when he died again, this time to Sneeg, when Pili tried killing him over and over again, when that same damned cat started getting close to him, when Ros told Pangi to be wary of him, when he learned that it was her who killed him on the first day? He felt the rage riling up within him, he felt the desire to retaliate, to defend, to do whatever he had to to make sure Lukey was going to be safe. 

And when Lukey asked him if he should reset, if his levels were worth it - Pangi answered it honestly. It would be strategically better to reset, to die a third time, but it’s a coward’s way out - and Pangi has lost too many friends already. He wanted Lukey to stay alive, he promised Lukey that he would keep him alive no matter what if he decided to stay. And in return, Lukey promised him something nobody else has promised him before - while so many have told him they would die for him, Lukey said that he would live for him. He kept his last life to not hurt him, to show him that he isn’t like the others, to care about him - something awoke in Pangi, something that he thought he lost long ago. And he grabbed onto that feeling and didn’t let go. 

So when Pili, Pili of all people, asked Lukey out for the ball, that feeling took over everything, letting him succumb to revenge, turning his eyes just one shade more purple than they were before - barely noticeable, but that rage was powered by corruption spreading throughout his body. He wasn’t going to lose Lukey, he wasn’t going to let Lukey go through the same issues he went through, he wouldn’t let that cat ruin him. He had to protect him, he had to make sure he knew what he was getting into, he had to-

He didn’t mean to. He didn’t mean to. He didn’t mean to at all. His hands instinctively grabbed the handle of the crossbow when he was talking to Lukey, rage consuming his vision, and the trigger slipped - piercing straight through Lukey’s throat, not giving him, nor Pangi, a chance to react, to save him, to do anything. He- he killed the one person he was supposed to protect. The one person who was willing to survive for him for his own detriment. How could he? How could he have done that? And he knew Lukey would never forgive him. Who would ever forgive a sin as great as this? A sin as great as killing the person who kept their life just for you? He would understand if Lukey left, if he left him, if he left green, all because of this mistake, all because of this rage, all because of him, of Pangi. He hated this, and he hated himself. 

And then Lukey came back. And he didn’t hate him. And he didn’t despise him for his death. And he only held it against him a little bit - but all in a joking manner, all with a sparkle in his eyes and a smile in the corner of his mouth. And Pangi broke a little bit, not knowing what he did to deserve this, to deserve him, to deserve forgiveness. How could have his actions been forgiven that easily? How could Lukey stay by his side, despite what he has done? How could he not leave him when everyone else he ever held close did? 

Maybe his last vow of protection didn’t hold, maybe he broke it himself, but this time, this time it would be different. He would give his life for Lukey’s if he had to, he would fight his battles as if they were his own - because they would become his own. And he would kill for him. Do the one thing he can do best, bring death to those who have to die to ensure Lukey’s safety. And that was a promise. There was an exception - or at least, Pangi thought there was. Ros was a friend, one he was not killing to put in the way of his rampage, one who he trusted to always be honest with him. And so long as she remained honest, she was safe. 

And Lukey? Lukey did something Pangi did not expect. He revealed a secret, unprompted, as an exercise of trust - and Pangi knew just how important secrets were for the person carrying them. He never expected anyone to tell him their secrets, he respected their privacy and wouldn’t ever push, so this exercise of trust - it mattered so much to him. Yes, Lukey didn’t tell him everything - but he also told him he wouldn’t. He was honest, he revealed that when he came back, he came back in the Null, and Pangi could feel its essence lingering over him. And he could finally understand what the other strangeness of his essence was - but it was a secret not yet shared with him, and he wasn’t going to pressure Lukey into sharing it. It was not his secret to learn, after all. 

But even knowing what it was, even knowing what he knew, Pangi didn’t care. What would it matter if Lukey is from the Null? What would it matter if he is a Keeper? He forgave Pangi when he didn’t deserve forgiveness, he stayed at his back when he needed it most, and his actions mattered much more than who he was. That, that Pangi knew for certain. 

Somehow, each time he goes to slumber, something seems to happen to Lukey. This time was no different, with him almost being killed by yellow, by Sneegsnag, by Ros. He was told it first by Ros, and her story downplayed a few things here and there, and it hurt him. Not just the fact that she would tell Sneeg to kill the one person he cared about the most in this realm, but the fact that she would lie to him. And when Lukey told him what really happened, and when Ros confirmed that what Lukey said was the full truth, while her previous story contained some lies… Pangi was disappointed. The one thing he couldn’t stand, the one thing they promised to each other they wouldn’t do - Ros did it. She lied to him, and only confessed to her lie when presented with the truth. And it hurt, oh, it hurt so much. And Pangi didn’t know what to do now. He didn’t know if he could ever trust her again. 

And so he decided to trust the only other person he could. He showed Lukey the room that mattered the most for the upcoming war, the room that housed the weapon that would help them win it - this could compromise their entire future, but he trusted Lukey, not just with his life, but with lives of everyone on the green, with their potential victory. And he knew this trust was not misplaced. 

He had to know one thing, though. Just one thing. And so he went to Ros again, to ask why. Why would she do this, why would she try to kill Lukey again after the Kingdom has already been a cause of two of his deaths. And her answer didn’t make sense to Pangi. She heard him in the Null, but he was in the Null too, for as long as she has, and he didn’t care about the fact Lukey was from there - although he didn’t pay much attention to the very fact that he knew that, for that was a secret yet not shared with him, and so he would respect its secrecy. 

But the other point? It just confused him. Ros told him that there is something Lukey wasn’t telling them, and that was not something he would ever be concerned with. Pangi was even told by Lukey that he can’t say everything - and Pangi understood that, and didn’t pry further. And so he answered with the fact that all of them aren’t telling everything to each other, that all of them have secrets - and Ros didn’t appreciate that answer. Pangi knew that this was it. There was no way to mend this, and what would come tomorrow would most certainly result in war.