#luis litt

“I’m going to run to the corner store for some bagels, is there anything you want me to grab while I’m there?”

I looked to where Luis sat at the kitchen island, still in the shirt he slept in and a cup of coffee he hasn’t touched. 

“There’s nothing that I want, no.” 

I sigh. 

“Okay. Text me if you think of anything. Love you.”

He doesn’t say anything as I shut the front door. My feet patter against the slick concrete of the sidewalk, the gentle sound of April rain pelting my umbrella comforting me as I walk the couple blocks to the store. I’ll get him some Bugels, cheddar flavored of course. Only because I know he wants them and he won’t ask for them. And lemonade. Minute Maid. 

I count the lines on the sidewalk as I make my way. Gosh, it’s been four months. Four months of… this. I know the loss of a pet is never easy. A creature, a member of the family, a companion you’ve cared for its entire life is suddenly gone. It rocks your world. It hurts like hell. And Luis has not been taking it well. 

After the first month I had to call his doctor because the level of grief didn’t seem normal to me. I hadn’t ever known Luis without also knowing Bruno, his beloved cat. My family, when they first met the two of them, used to joke about him loving the cat more than me. 

Well, after his death, I’m not sure they were wrong…

I’m not sure Luis has begun to even accept the idea of Bruno being gone for good. I still catch him putting food out for him every now and then. Changing the water, the litter. He won’t let me clean it up and put it away. I’ve lost pets before, several dogs and a couple fish. I still miss them dearly, I carry them with me everywhere I go… but this seems like an unhealthy level.

I had Harvey and Jessica both tell me that everything about Luis is ‘unhealthy’. 

Which was rude. 

But it is… semi true. I don’t know. I feel like a bad partner for thinking this way sometimes. But he does overreact. But it’s just who he is. And I love that about him. He can’t control who he is, and I admire that about him. 

And I hate seeing him this way. I’ve tried to help in every way I can. Talked with two doctors and a psychiatrist about what to do, googled ways to get over the loss of a pet. They’ve all said the same thing: get another pet.

Once. I asked once, about a month and a half after Bruno passed, and Luis almost bit my head off for suggesting that. ‘How dare you suggest such a thing. After everything I’ve been through? You think I can just move on from him? From what he meant? What we went through together? He was with me before you, Yn. You don’t understand the bond we had, what we’ve shared.’

Definitely did not try to have that conversation again. 

I turned the block and crossed the street, the little corner shop greeting me as it always does. From toiletries to fresh made deli sandwiches, this little store has everything you could need in a pinch. I swing by the counter and grab a few bagels, then to the snacks for the chips. I also stuff a chocolate bar in my basket. That's for me. Lord knows I need it. I grab his lemonade and pick up an iced tea for myself. 

Reggie, the cashier and part owner with his wife, greets me as I set my stuff on the counter. 

“Good afternoon, Yn. How are ya this yucky sunday?” The older man smiles

I smile back, “Not too bad, Reg. Still dealing with the aftermath of Bruno, unfortunately. Hoping this will help cheer him up. Luis and Bruno used to sit on the couch and cuddle during rainy days so… it’s gonna be a looooong day.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been now?”

“Four months. Almost five.”

“And he still hasn’t–”

“Nope.”

“God damn.”

I laugh. A genuine laugh. “Yeah, yeah I hear you.”

“Seventeen-fifty my dear,” he says, and I hand over my card. He scans it in the register, the chime signifying the money being sucked from my account. “Do you need a receipt?”

“No I’m okay, thanks Reggie. Tell Mavis I said hello, alright? I’m in need of some of her double chocolate chunk cookies.”

His grin is infectious. “As am I, but I’m banned from the kitchen when she makes them. Says my fingers can’t keep ‘falling into the batter’. It’s not my fault she puts crack in those things.”

“Sugar and butter and chocolate… hard to go wrong.”

“You got that right,” he nods. “You have a good day. Stay dry!”

“Will do!” I call over my shoulder, the bell ringing in the door as it swings open and close. I hook the bag in the crook of my elbow and pop the umbrella up once more. 

My shoes squish the way back, and I can feel my socks beginning to get wet.

I need to get home before this becomes a problem.

“Meeeeeoow”

I halt. My eyes scan around me, expecting to see a furry friend on a porch. 

But there’s no friends. 

And no porches. 

“Meeeeeooooooooow”

It came from behind me. I turn around, but don’t see anything. I check up the tree to my immediate right, but don’t see anything in the low branches. It was a newly planted tree, so it’s not that big. All clear. 

Where is the noise coming from? 

I take a couple steps from the direction I came, not hearing anything else. I rustle a bush, but all I can hear is the droplets hitting the gravel and mulch below. I look at some rocks in someone’s yard, no balls of fur. Under any other circumstance, I wouldn’t stop for a cat. They usually belong to someone, or to the neighborhood as a general, but this was a tiny meow. Very high pitched and whine-y and it could get really cold and sick out here in the r–

“Meeeow meeooooow.”

There! I scurry over to the side of the road and spot a soggy ball of fur tucked up against the tire of a car. A little orange ball of fur that’s shivering. I scoop it up and its tiny little body is soaked. Poor thing. It lets out a bunch of squeaks and squeals. 

This thing can’t be more than nine or ten weeks old. It fits in the palms of my hands. 

“Oh my goodness look at you, such a tiny thing,” I coo, wiping some of the water away from its face. “Let's get you home and warmed up.”

I do a sweep around the car and surrounding bushes just to be sure there’s no others. There isn’t. I take a quick peak and see that it’s a girl! I wrapped her inside my jacket, nice and snug on my chest in my sweater. I make my steps double time and put the umbrella away because it’s just getting in the way. I jog up the steps of the porch, shake off the rain and quickly get inside. 

“Luis!” I call, haphazardly tearing off my shoes. “Luis, where are you?”

I round the corner and see he’s still at the table. I was only gone for maybe twenty minutes. Now the steam from his untouched coffee has stopped rising. 

“What, Yn?”

“I have something for you.” I say eagerly, grabbing the little kitten and take off my jacket. I hold the little ball of fur and jog into the kitchen. 

“I told you I didn’t want anything from… what is that?”

“I know you said you weren’t ready for another cat, but Luis, I found her outside curled up next to a car and she was shivering. I couldn’t leave her out in the rain and–”

Luis damn near jumped across the counter. “Where did you find her?”

“Just two blocks up, she’s soaked. And shivering.”

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Luis says, that classic Litt fire in his eyes. A light I haven’t seen in months shining back at me. “I need you to get the hair dryer, a towel, one of Bruno’s old sweaters from the drawer in the bedroom, a heating pad, a baby bottle also from the drawer in the bedroom, and throw some milk in the microwave.”

“Want me to get her a private jet too?” I said as a joke. 

“This is no time for jokes, Yn. This little, defenseless, innocent creature could die from hypothermia or infection if we don’t get her warm and dry.”

I bite back a smile and run up stairs, grabbing all the stuff Luis asked for. When I get back to the kitchen, Luis is shirtless, drying off the kitten with it. 

Before I can even set the basket down with all the stuff, Luis is plugging in the hair dry, the heating pad, and shoving a bottle into my hand to warm up some milk. 

“Shouldn’t we call a vet to ask what to do?”

“I have trained my entire life for this very moment, Yn. I know how to take care of a kitten better than any god damned vet in this entire state. Scratch that, this entire country. This little kitten is gonna make it and I’m gonna nurse it back to health and love and cherish it the way it deserves.”

I just stare at him, a blissful kind of emotion taking over. This is the Luis I have missed. 

Milk? Warmed. Kitten? No longer soaking wet. Bottle? Emptied. Kitten? Fast asleep in a sweater on Luis’s chest. I gave them a little time to bond while I changed out of my wet clothes. When I came down the stairs, Luis extended his hand. 

Accepting the invitation, I came and sat with the newest member of the Litt family. 

“Looks like she’s settling in well,” I nudged her ear. Her eyes didn’t even flutter. 

“She is out like a light.”

“Didn’t think we were going to rescue a cat today, but this is a welcome Sunday surprise, don’t you think?”

“Mhm,” he says, still admiring the kitten. “Yn?”

“Hmm?” I say, tilting my head. 

“Thank you.”

I furrowed my brows. “What for? Did you see the snacks I got you or something?” “You got me snacks?”

“Bugels and lemonade, your favorite,” I ruffle his hair. 

“I did not know that. I meant for her,” he nodded his head towards the kitten. “I didn’t realize how… sulking I had become. Reviving her reminded me how much I enjoy taking care of life. And how much I’ve been neglecting to take care of yours and our lives. And I’m sorry. For how inconsolable I’ve been since Bruno. It’s just–”

“I get it, Luis. I understand,” I say, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “And I’m so sorry with how much pain you’ve been in. But Bruno wouldn’t want you to be like this forever. Think of this kitten as a way of Bruno telling you to move on. To devote your time to something else other than grieving him. He knows you’ll never be able to forget him, and you know that too. But you are allowed to move on and begin a chapter of your life without him. Because he’ll always be right here.”

My palm slid over his heart. I watch the tears well in his eyes, and the blubbering begins. Just like any mention of Bruno. At first it hurt to watch him react this way. Now… It's a little funny. He loved that cat a ridiculous amount. Just like how he loves anything else in his life. 

“What should we name her?”

I shrugged, not really having a name in mind. I stood, fixing to grab the snacks and drinks for us while we mull over names. Obviously I have no real say in this, but I’m content to bounce off hundreds of names until he finds the right one. 

But then the other item in my bag makes me smile. And I just can’t stop myself from saying it. 

“What about Bagel?”

Luis tilts his head back over the arm rest of the sofa, a big grin spread across his face.