#luch

Ah, Tamriel, land of magic, mystery, and...

...whatever the heck this dude’s up to. Today, my wonderful nerdy noshers, we are questing in the wonderful world of Elder Scrolls (glitches and all), a world of elves, men, eldritch gods, and sugar-loving cat people. You see that peak over there,

yes, you can climb it. See this nasty demon dinosaur:

He can either be summoned or beaten with a stick, depending on your stance on demon dinosaurs. See this oh so lusty Argonian maid

....Need I say more?! But in order to climb huge volcanoes, marry lizard people, and summon unholy demonic velociraptors, you’re gonna need some energy in that adventuresome body of yours. How do we get that energy, you may ask? You get it the same way you do here in reality; food! Yes, for a fantastical world of swords and sorcery, the Elder Scrolls franchise sure is a cornucopia of culinary delights, some of which you actually can make with nothing more than a working kitchen and access to the internet. Now even if you’ve never heard of the Elder Scrolls franchise, you likely know about it’s most famous entry: Skyrim. You see, Skyrim has a bit of a popularity problem. Having been out for a decade and release on SIX different platforms, many have tread it’s culinary pathways well before this blog went public. That being said, I have chosen a different entry in the franchise to dig for recipes in. Enter Elder Scrolls Online, the only mmorpg entry in the Elder Scrolls franchise. While Elder Scrolls online has a wealth of foods to chose from, unlike its other counterparts, the food items are very rarely shown in game. Sometimes what you see laying around in your local tavern might not even be the item that ends up in your back when snatched up (away from the prying eyes of the city guards). For example, take your classic Skyrim-style Sweetroll:  

In your inventory it ends up looking like a cinnamon bun!

And that’s where I come in. Rather than rely on in game pictures, I have instead chosen to base any recipes I make from Elder Scrolls online by their description. If the required ingredients happen to match up with its inventory picture, all the better. Now come join my around the fire as I tell you the tale of my experience with Khajiiti cuisine. For the not yet initiated, the Khajiit are an adorable race of catlike people whose forms can range from housecat:

To buff bobcat:

To humanoid cat furries:

These pretty kitties are known for their sweet tooth, and even savory dishes are no exception. Enter their curried fish; a quick and rather syrupy dish that purrfectly pairs well with a nice hot bowl of fragrant basmati rice. This easy and peachy curry is a flavorful fast dish that’s perfect for cat on the run. (NOTE: Please do not actually feed this to your cats irl,or any of your pets for that matter. This dish contains many ingredients that are most certainly poisonous for furry, feathery, and scaly friends.) This dish feeds 3 famished felines. Tools:

Saucepan

Large pan (ideally an electric skillet,as they tend to be huge)

Large cooking spoon

Spatula

Baking Spatula:

Paring Knife

Large kitchen knife

Measuring spoons

hand held grater

Ingredients:

12oz white fish of choice (I chose mahi-mahi)

1 15oz can of white beans (I went with chickpeas)

3 cloves of fresh garlic

2 tsp Garam Masala (divided)

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp tumeric

1 and 1/2 tbsp sweet chili sauce

1/2 large onion

1/4 tsp cinnamon

2 tbsp peach preserves

2 tsp lemon juice

1 and 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar

2 tbsp chicken stock (low sodium)

1/2 tsp kosher salt

10 oz fresh spinach

3 servings basmati rice (cook according to package instructions)

2-3 tbsp cooking oil (I used olive oil but I’d highly recommend peanut oil for this dish)

1 pinch sumac (optional, for garnish)

Salt and pepper to taste

Method: Slice your onion.

Grate your garlic cloves.

Using 1/2 tbsp of oil, saute your onion slices over medium until brown, then set them aside.

With another 1/2 tbsp of oil, saute your spinach until it is wilted, set aside.

Drain and rinse your white beans.

Put your spinach in a food processor and puree until smooth.

Add 1tsp garam masala, 2tsp lemon juice, 1/2 the sauteed onions, 1/3 of the garlic and the beans. Puree until smooth and set aside. For the fish:

If your fish is frozen, thaw in the fridge overnight or run fish cuts under cool water until slightly softened. Combine sauteed onions, the remainder of the garam masala, , the remainder of the garlic, the cumin, the cinnamon, the sweet chili sauce, the turmeric, the kosher salt, the chicken stock, the rice vinegar and the peach preserves until well mixed.

Heat remainder of oil in large pan over medium heat. Add fish cuts.

Cook fish cuts for 4 and 1/2 minutes per side,or until the fish starts flaking. Reduce heat slightly and add sauce. Stir sauce in with fish for 1-1 and 1/2 minutes. Top rice servings with sauce/fish chunks and dollops of spinach and bean puree.  Garnish with a sprinkle of sumac.