#lthb

A short flashback sneak peek from the upcoming chapter of my multi-chapter, Let the Heart Beat! I thought a happy flashback was fitting for this sneak peek, because there’s a whole lotta angst coming soon :’) Enjoy! 

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‘You’re wonderful.’ Magnus thinks.

Alec looks up at him from where he’s seated at the piano. The small, effortless smile on his face is the most beautiful thing Magnus has ever seen.

“What do you think?” He asks, bringing his arms up to the music stand and resting his chin on them. His big, beautiful hazel eyes look at Magnus expectantly, gazing at him with a gorgeous kind of open honesty and comfort. It wraps itself around Magnus, warm and gentle.

I love you more than I could ever fathom.

“It’s perfect.” He says instead.

You’re perfect.

Alec’s smile widens, denting his cheeks and crinkling the corners of his eyes. Magnus aches to kiss him there.

“Thank you.”

Do you love me the way I love you, Alexander?

Magnus crosses over to the bench of the piano, and Alec’s gaze follows him intently as he comes to sit down next to him. Their proximity results in their thighs pressing against each other’s, and Magnus feels every small movement Alec makes. A shift of his arm brushing against’ Magnus’. The way he turns to look at him, lips parted ever so slightly.

For just a second, Magnus lets his gaze drop to them, desire burning bright in his chest. He loves him with a ceaseless ferocity that burns like fire and caresses like sunlight all at once. And Alec stares at him too, unabashedly and unapologetically. He looks at Magnus like he’s never seen anything like him in all his life.

“Teach me.” Magnus says softly.

Waves of tingles rush through him as Alec takes his hands in his, his touch impossibly gentle, and guides them to smooth keys of the piano. His big, beautiful hands, hands Magnus knows will save lives one day, cover his own as they guide him through the notes, and Magnus thinks that nothing seems as perfect or fitting as Alec’s hands intertwined in his.

‘I love you,’ He thinks then, watching Alec more than the piano, ‘Those words are yours. They have always been yours.’

Someday soon, I promise, I’ll say them to you.

hello friends! here’s a short sneak peek from the upcoming chapter of my multi-chapter, let the heart beat. you can catch up on the last chapter here. 

warning: it’s an angsty one, my dudes :( will magnus leave? is everything proving to be too much for him? only time will tell :o enjoy! 

“I’m getting off at the next port tomorrow.” Magnus says finally, straightening his back and meeting his mother’s gaze. He swallows around the tightness lodged in his throat as he says the words.

“Magnus –”

“There’s nothing here for me, Mom.” He registers the damning finality in his own words. Magnus wonders when everything had come to such a standstill, when he could actually see, and feel, the end of everything.

Maybe it was yesterday. Maybe in the silence that seemed to swallow the two of them whole. In Alec’s gaze, refusing to meet his own, concentrated on the pattern of the carpet as Magnus had let go of his hand and left his room, leaving his heart behind. In the tiny, choked noise that escaped Alec, that he’d heard just before the door shut behind him.

Or maybe some part of him had always known that the end would inevitably come for him, for them, from the day he’d left. The day he’d run away, instead of facing the forces of the world that conspired to tear them apart the way Alec deserved.

And here he is, doing the same thing that had ruined everything good in the past. Here he is, running away again.

In a moment of sheer fear, panic, and disgust at himself, Magnus thinks that there really isn’t much difference between him and his father.

He voices this out loud. “Maybe that’s one thing I got from Dad.” He laughs bitterly, “The penchant for running away.”

His mother sucks in a sharp breath, her jaw trembling and eyebrows knit together. She fixes him with a fierce look.

“Magnus Bane. You are nothing like your father. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

She abandons her seat across from him and makes her way over to sit next to him. Taking his hands in hers, she holds on with an ironclad grip.

“You are good, and kind, and you love fiercely. You care so deeply about the people you love.” She says, steadfast conviction lacing every syllable. Her eyes shine with unshed tears.

A strangled sob escapes Magnus’ throat. He looks down at his hands, clasped between his mother’s. Siti lets go of one of his hands to place her own on his cheek, angling his face up so that their gazes meet again.

She smiles at him through her tears.

“You are nothing like your father.” She says softly, “You are the best person I know.”

Tears blur Magnus’ vision again, and he lets them fall this time. He lets himself fall apart, lets his mother pull him to her, cradling his head as he cries all over again.

“I love you.” She whispers into his hair, fingers stroking his face over and over again, and Magnus focuses on that one feeling with as fiercely as he can. “I love you so much.”

honestly? i don’t know. i’m sorry i don’t have a definitive answer for you. i’m a full time college student and my finals are fast approaching. i’ve also been dealing with a lot of mental and physical health issues in the past month. writing is something i do on the side, so at times like this when i’m struggling to juggle a bunch of other things (like school, health, job interviews etc.), it needs to be placed on the back burner for a while. i really hope you all understand. i’ve been getting a ton (like a ton) of messages asking for an update, but it’s really hard to respond to all of them without a) seeming like a jerk :( or b) disappointing a lot of people by making false promises that i realistically cannot meet. i’ll try my hardest to post sneak peeks (just posted one now!) and keep everyone updated on here. 

Chapter 4 is now up! Read it here on ao3! 

You can start from Chapter 1 here!

I would like to personally apologise for how long this chapter took :( I dealt with a lot of stuff, but this chapter is 13k so I hope that makes up for long it’s taken me to write it! 

Chapter 4 summary: 

Alec’s sitting up on the bed, not a trace of his earlier intoxication evident in his face. His lips are parted, a soft line creasing the skin between his eyebrows. His gaze burns into Magnus’.

“Stay.” He says softly, “Please. I know everything’s fucked and we hate each other and so much happened but I don’t – I don’t want to deal with any of that tonight.”

Alec’s fingers travel down the length of Magnus’ arm until they fold themselves around his, and tighten their hold.

“Please stay.” He whispers.

Chapter 2 is now up! Read it here on ao3!

You can start from Chapter 1 here!

Chapter 2 Synopsis: The one where we meet Catarina, and Alec gets some boy advice from an unlikely source.

Chapter 3 is now up! Read it here on ao3! 

You can start from Chapter 1 here!

Chapter 3 Synopsis: The one where Siti is a sweetheart, flashbacks are abound, and Magnus and Alec never stop loving each other.