For the wip tag game I am intruiged with emergency contact
Thanks for the ask <3 <3
Emergency Contact is a Heated Rivalry AU where Shane, in a bout of optimism, love, and anxiety, puts Ilya as his #1 Emergency Contact after Ilya's father dies. And then immediately gets hit by Marleau.
The Metros' staff is understandably concerned that a) someone has pulled a prank using Shane's medical paperwork, b) they have to pull the opposing captain to send him to the hospital to be with Shane, and c) that opposing captain is Shane's number one rival Ilya Fucking Rozanov.
... also, Ilya doesn't even know he's Shane's emergency contact yet. The only person who knows all of what's going on is the one in the back of the ambulance with a concussion.
Snippet below the cut!
He’s up again, pulling things from his locker. “Hollander and I are friends, yes, but maybe not so close that I can borrow his car without asking.”
Or maybe they are. Ilya certainly hadn’t thought they were close enough that Shane— Shane who had other people in his life, whose parents were his other emergency contacts— would choose him first. Maybe he would want Ilya to take his stupid boring car to the weird French CHUM hospital.
The Metro’s staff person— Ilya’s like 90% sure she still hasn’t introduced herself, but he’s not sure he’d remember it even if she had— has no idea he’s revising his entire worldview, just types away at her phone. “Okay, we’ll have a car ready, same door you came in.”
She turns to leave, clearly anticipating the shower he’s going to need to dunk himself in before he can leave.
“Wait,” he says, before she can go. “We are close, but, uh. Would be bad for rivalry image and careers if everyone knew, yes?”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you just love to make me suffer, don't you? (kidding, thank you for the ask <3 <3)
Best Friend's Werewolf Brother is a Teen Wolf AU where Peter marries Melissa and is on his honeymoon when he gets the alpha power and custody of three traumatized teenagers, in addition to the one already living in his house. Except it's not actually about any of that, it takes place some 10 years later when Stiles comes home for the holidays and reconnects with Derek, who is suddenly realizing that Stiles has Grown Up.
It's about returning to your hometown when you're ready, realizing your siblings and their childhood friends have somehow become adults, and of course, the best friend's brother trope which I swear I will get canonized some day. It is also. maybe. a little about projection.
I have no guarantees that this fic will ever see the light of day, so here's a longer snippet that's totally not making (exaggerated) fun of myself:
“Dude!” Stiles smacked Scott in the shoulder when he came by his dad’s later. “Why didn’t you tell me Derek was home?”
“Which Derek?” asked Scott, more focused on setting up the old game system.
“Which— what do you mean which Derek, what Derek could I possibly be asking you about right now?”
“Uh, I dunno, haven’t you dated like, six of them now?”
“I have not!” Stiles spluttered, and then did a quick count. “Okay, if you count spin the bottle with Derek Maxwell in high school it’s five, but Derek Maxwell does not need an explanation because he’s been working at his parents’ landscaping business since he was a baby and we all know he’s never going to leave BH.”
“Dude,” Scott leveled a judgy look at him. “I think that counts as a fetish, at this point.”
“I do not have a Derek fetish!” Stiles shouted, and then, upon hearing the words that had actually come out of his mouth, flopped face first into the couch and groaned, thankful not for the first time for the lack (hopefully) of werewolf hearing in the vicinity. No one needed to hear the stutter in his heartbeat when he thought that, yeah, he might have a little bit of a Derek fetish, but only for one very specific Derek who was absolutely not supposed to be home for Christmas this year. Or next year. Or living in Beacon Hills like an adult with his life together while Stiles floundered through med school living on Easy Mac and Captain Crunch.
It was actually deeply concerning to him, just how many Dereks he’d dated in eight years of spotty romantic history. He wasn’t looking for them or anything, and if you put all of his exes in a lineup even his dad would be hard pressed to identify a pattern in looks, attitude, gender, or general lifestyle choices. And yet Stiles had turned a dude down on the one night he’d gone out this whole semester, because the name next to the number on the napkin had started with D and ended with K. Again. (Of course then Stiles had drunkenly called Scott to complain when he’d gone home alone, and now he was being punished for it. He had the worst best friend in the history of best friends, because anyone knew what you said when you were drunk and lonely and on the other side of the country was to never be mentioned again.)
When he finally peeled himself out of his second minor Derek related crisis of his visit (so far) and unstuck his dry lips from the couch cushion, he found Scott still staring at him.
“I do think you could do better,” he said, as if it pained him greatly to admit, “than literally anyone named Derek. You need less Dereks in your life!”
“He’s already in my life! He’s your brother! You’re supposed to warn me that he’s home and being— adult-y!”
Scott tossed him a controller. “First of all, he’s my step-cousin. And second, I don’t want to think about him being ‘adult-y’ and I don’t want you to either!”
“Well, too bad on both counts, man, he definitely thinks you’re his brother, and I will absolutely be thinking of him at peak adultness,” Stiles replied, but dutifully went through the menus to start the game. And then, with the horniest voice he could muster in Scott’s presence, he said, “Filling out insurance paperwork, doing his taxes, vacuuming the carpet, washing his—”
A pillow hit him square in the face, and Stiles abandoned his train of thought and also their game to tackle Scott and make him pay.
Some Light Animal Maiming and the Drugging of Old Friends? ooh what a title!
Thanks for the ask!!
This is the next installment of Pocket Dad, my Dad!Peter raises Harry as Scabbers fic, set in POA. As advertised, it includes some light animal maiming (to make Ron's new pet store rat look... a little more familiar, for Shenanigans) and some drugging of old friends (with verituserum! nothing too crazy! they just need to be really sure Peter's old pal is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth when they ask some questions in post-lesson tea. it's totally fine.)
Originally this was just going to be mentioned in passing later on, but I couldn't get the image out of my mind of the trio going "you may be our adult but that's never stopped us before. are you with us or not?" before cutting off some poor rat's toe and drugging their professor.
Small snippet of where I left off below the cut!
“I got it for Christmas, my first year here,” said Harry. “Along with, er, my dad’s old cloak.”
(They had argued about this, too. To tell, not to tell— whether Remus could do anything with the knowledge or if he would already assume it had passed into Harry’s possession. Peter had lost that one, too.)
This time, when Remus spoke, there was no mistaking the wistfulness in his voice. “I’m quite familiar with your father’s cloak."
The worst thing about writing on my phone is that I think I’ve written a TON and then I open it on my computer and I’m like oh. that was two whole lines.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.
Thanks for the tag @bluestringpudding and @lunapwrites !!!!
Most hits:
DIWF/We’re all Monsters (Living in a Dream), not surprising given it's my only multichap and it's been posting since 2021. (In general, this is where all my highest stats are lol). This fic is my baby and I love how much everyone seems to love it too <3 (WIP, Remus & Harry, T, gen-- Werewolf!Harry gets parented by Remus, and also they're disabled)
Second most kudos:
If logic beat hate (by only a little) My first fic posted to Ao3 (upon request 🥰) originally posted to pillowfort when I was hanging out there, and written entirely while I walked my dog lmao (Petunia & Harry, T, gen-- basically the answer to the question "how would Harry actually end up in Slytherin?")
Third most comments:
Hospitality this one is wild to me because it hasn't even been up for a month yet and was only revealed last week. Written for HPFC's Untagged Fest, it has effectively no tags and was a new character for me to write, and also as close as I've gotten to smut (Amelia/Narcissa, M-- Narcissa and Amelia reconnect under suspicious circumstances)
Fourth most bookmarks:
we begin in the dark ALSO written for HPFC's Untagged Fest, but last year's. In a minor mixup, won Best Gen and then was corrected to Best Slash, as well as Most Interesting Characters. It has apparently sold a lot of people on Pegulus and it's probably the standalone fic I'm most proud of. (Peter/Regulus, T-- Peter and Regulus against the world)
Fifth most words:
whatever you do (come back) written for HPFFWG's Comfort Zone Fest (are you noticing a theme yet?) Not actually that long in reality (2.5k) it's just that most of what I write is very short lol. My one true attempt at writing fluff! (Tonks & Dean Thomas, T-- platonic soulmates AU, post war)
Fic with least words:
dollops of paint on a new work of art All of the Pocket Dad updates trend very short (<1k) but this is the shortest so far at 263 words. (Peter, G, gen-- Peter Processing Some Shit circa OotP.)
Some fun bonus stats I realized while looking these up:
Of 17 total works, roughly half of my total wc is in DIWF, and more than half of the works are less than 1k. I also have exactly the same number of Peter fics and Harry fics. Sirius and Remus tie for second, and Ron and Regulus tie for third.
We're all Monsters (Living in a Dream) Ch 4- Best You Didn't Listen
A meeting comes together to decide Remus and Harry's fates, whether they like it or not.
Remus sat at the long table in the basement of Grimmauld Place and thought, had he ever entered the room prior to this summer, he might have felt he was in a dream.
Possibly a nightmare.
They were at war again. No true battles, but the feeling was the same. Remus hated it, and more than that, he hated how comfortable it was to settle back in, how much he didn’t want to hate it.
Tagged by @billsfangearring a whole month ago but I finally have words to share so!
Harry said something and Andromeda laughed. Remus could picture every line of James’s face, the smug pleasure at someone else’s amusement— and then Harry turned and hopped up onto the counter, shucking his shirt as he went, and all the ways he wasn’t James overshadowed the ways he was.
A sheepish, acquiescing smile; a thin frame at odds with the bulk of his clothes; scars the likes of which James hadn’t seen even at his death. The flushed irritation of fresh wounds slathered in healing cream and the sharp blackness of surgical thread holding the skin together.
Remus should be there. Should have been there. Should be standing next to Harry now with the same empty promises his own parents had given him thirty years ago.
The distance across the kitchen seemed insurmountable; the rest of the room fell away to make it feel like miles, impossible to cross on foot.
Without even trying to stand, he could feel the soreness of his right calf, wrecked again after another full moon without wolfsbane, and it drew every bit of attention that wasn’t focused on the expressions crossing Harry’s face. The pain crossing Harry’s face.
