#lovingchange

What is change?

Today just is

What has changed?

Now is unique

Have you moved? Or was it me?

Is the shadow? Or is the light?

Is the soil? Or are the feet?

Is the air? Or is the breath?

Is it love? Or is it fear?

Let change in, let breath out

I’ve spent much of my life being ashamed of my body. Even now, as I’m writing the first entry for my body-positivity blog, I’m thinking about what a phony I am--about how I looked in the mirror after my shower this morning and saw only my fat. But that’s the point. 

A few years ago, I realized something: shame isn’t going to make me who I want to be. 

If shame produced results, I would look like Scarlet Johansson by now. But it doesn’t, and I don’t. I now believe that I will be motivated to change when I learn to love myself. If I start the journey to physical change miserable and drowning in self-hate, how can I possibly hope to be happy in the end? Because happiness is the ultimate goal, right? Not a smaller waist, not a thigh gap. Happiness and healthiness, physically and mentally.