#lovefray

       there  was  hurt  in  her  voice  --  too  young  for  such  ache.  and  he  had  PUT  IT  THERE.  guilt,  for  before  and  for  after.  some  to  spare.  he  never  wanted  to  curse  someone  like  he  was.  and  it  was  a  triple  threat.  the  drinking,  the  anger  --  the  SHINE  they  shared.  he  hoped  beyond  hoping  that  she  was  just  doomed  to  shine,  the  others  falling  by  the  wayside.  perhaps  that’s  why  he  had  left,  unable  to  face  his  part  in  her  life,  thinking  at  once  he’d  mess  it  up.  he’s  not  good  at  this.  “  i  thought  --  i  thought  it’d  be  better. ”  for  me  not  to  be  in  your  life,  he  means.  and  it’s  difficult  he  finds,  to  be  confronted  in  this  way.  regardless  it  had  been  a  mistake.  put  that  one  on  his  tab  too,  won’t  you ?  “  i’m  sorry,  it  should’ve  never  happened. ”

                  jason may not be the smartest kid in the world ,  but with his parents barely even acknowledging his existence it was easy for him to get out of the house ,  to investigate things.     it had been easy enough to find him ,  really.     when you’re as quiet and small as jason is it’s easy to blend into the background ,  to watch and learn with the people around you being none the wiser.     head shakes gently ,  knowing that the statement isn’t true.     sure ,  she should be worried ,  but she wouldn’t be.     she wouldn’t even notice he was gone.     for that she'd have to remember he was there in the first place.     “   not care.   ”

“don’t  look  at  me  in  that  tone  of  voice.  it  was  carlos’  idea.”  he  paused,  features  scrunching  up.  “kind  of  . . .  sort  of  . . .  mayb—   okay  okay.  it  was  my  idea  but  the  kid  would  have  played  along.  don’t  tell  julie?”

𝒘𝒚𝒂𝒕𝒕  &  𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒉   -   endless  edits

    ‘     you can handle him better with ME.     ’

 “Hey Grace. ” He greets, his grin stretching from ear to ear now as he leans back a bit to look at her. “Were you good for Barbra?”

         the  writing  caught  his  tired  eyes,  coat  hung  up  on  it’s  hook.  all  the  names  he’d  written  on  the  board,  were  erased.  in  the  center,  replacing  it  was  a  stick-figure,  crudely  drawn  as  if  by  a  child.  but  he  knew  that,  he  felt  that.  he  walked  over,  chalk  left  behind  by  the  previous  tenant  coming  into  hand  as  he  closes  his  eyes.  he  can’t  feel  them  now,  her  --  an  image  dances  just  out  of  reach,  a  memory  perhaps.  opening  his  eyes,  he  draws  three  vs  to  look  like  birds  above  the  figure,  and  a  shining  sun.  the  complete  image,  brings  a  warm  smile  to  his  face  as  he  steps  back.