#love2hateu

Love 2 Hate U (part 1)

-When you have to share a room with him for the night; him as your enemy…

‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.’ I once read in a book which I regretted reading afterwards but again in another book I read ‘Hating someone feels disturbingly similar to being in love with them.’ The book which goes by the name ‘The Hating Game’.

I would have loved that book if it wasn’t about an enemy to lover trope, the only form of romance I dislike the most. Enemies-to-lovers is something which could not exists in real life, you can never fall in love with your enemy, someone you hate from the bottom of your heart. At least I can’t with Jeffrey Suh.

Not that I want to fall in love with him…it’s even scarier than my worst nightmare but to even think about liking that jerk makes me want throw up.

Yes, you can also say that it’s all just in my head as how all my friends been teasing and remind me every day and also who’s so happily enjoy watching our bickering, our death glares at each other and even our hatred for each other. They are living in the daily soap drama spend hours watching because only both of us can see the anger and hatred dripping from our eyes.

Even friendship can’t exist between us, jokes on me to even think of friendship when we can’t even stand each other if we are in the same room, as snarky comments and death glares fly across the room. No one can stand us up together to be honest.

Why? Why do I hate him? I don’t even know when my hatred for him even started, maybe it was hate at first sight. Such a self-absorbed, cocky, smug, stubborn jerk he is. Even the way he walks, he talks, the way he smiles, the way he looks…he’s handsome almost like a Greek God, but I’m not going to accept it… as just with his whole existence pisses me off. Also not like he ever gave me a reason to change the way I felt for him because he reciprocates my feelings, if not more.

When my friends asked me if I wanted to be a part of this two-nights holiday to the beach, never had I imagined that when I would find him sprawled ‘like a starfish’ on the bed, the bed that I was supposed to spend the night peacefully on!

“But you know I can’t stand him even for a second! No, I want you to change his or my room!” huffing, I crossed my arms around my chest. “But all the other rooms are occupied Driana, and you came late so…” she trailed off, fuelling my anger even more. “I didn’t turn up late on purpose! I had informed you beforehand that I’ll be late right!” looking behind her I saw a figure coming out of the bathroom.

“Maybe your boyfriend, who happens to be Jeffrey friend?” rolling my eyes I continued “Can you please switch the room with me?” That’s the most I can give in, I’m ready to switch the rooms which should’ve been him instead. “C’mon Driana! I understand the tension between you two is as high as the Mount Everest…” gasping dramatically I passed her an offensive look, there was no tension between us, it was just hate.

Ignoring me she continued “…but everyone has needs and I have life too, I want to spend some time with my boyfriend. So will you please let us? It’s just a matter of tonight. We’ll sort something out tomorrow. Plus, it’s already past 2, go sleep PLEASE!” Even before she finished her short monologue I was pushed out of the room with a large wooden door slammed shut in my face.

Was she for real? If she planned this whole trip just to have a TIME with her boyfriend she didn’t have to ask me to follow along! Why make my already not so good life even more worse? Stomping my way aggressively to the room I grabbed my head in frustration.

“It’s just for a night, you can do it Driana! Calm down. Relax.” Taking a deep breath, I tried to prepare myself, “Or you always have a second option if things go out of your hands, KILLING.” A little voice inside my head said. It’s not like this voice has appeared for the first time. Last week when he ‘accidently’ spilled his iced tea on me, I was about to throw the chair I was sitting into his face. This voice appeared that time too. “I don’t wanna go to jail just because of a such useless human.” I thought.

“You know it’s better to sleep than making plans to kill me and I’m not useless.” The door opened to reveal him with an utterly idiotic smirk. Can he read minds too? Okay I’m in trouble then, no I didn’t think anything for which you should smirk too but all my plans of tricking him be known.

“Are you a stalker or what?” Pushing him away I entered the room, which was supposed to be MINE in the first place. “No darling, your footsteps can be heard around ten kilometres from here. I just happen to have great hearing skills.” He whispered the last part.

I could have replied; I could have continued this which could soon turn into a bickering ‘war’ but literally thinking that I was too tired for that, all I wanted right now is to just have a peaceful sleep. But ironically peace and Jeffery don’t ever exist together. So let me change my statement, I just wanted to sleep at any cost right now.

“Here, take the pillow, sleep on the couch.” Throwing the fluffy white material filled with soft feathers at him, I started unpacking my bag to take out my night clothes. “And why should I even listen to you?” he plopped down on the bed, stretching out. “Jeffrey, right now I’m seriously not in the mood to argue with you.” Raising my hand, I shook my head.

“Neither do I, but I’m as stubborn as you. Which means I am not ever gonna sleep on that couch.” Closing my bag I faced him, as stubborn as me? It’s not a good a start, it can never be with him. “Why are you acting so childish?” scowling for his attitude, I moved to the bathroom. “Why are you acting so childish…”he mimicked me. God please save this freaking idiot guy from me before I started the plan on killing him right now.

Coming back to the room after changing my clothes I saw him still lying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. Rolling my eyes out of annoyance, I walked up to my side of the bed and started putting spare pillows and cushions between us as a wall of protection. “Is these things really necessary to be here?” sparing a glance at what I was doing he asked.

“Yeah very much necessary, I don’t want to wake up with your limbs around me in the morning.” Even the thought of it disgusted me. “But all these things are taking up too much space.” He complained. “Better than you eating me-…” realising how much wrong that must have sounded in his ear I looked at him, who already had that mischievous smirk which made me so furious. “That one sounds better.” He lied back down with his smirked.

“Shut that mouth of yours and just go to sleep.” Switching off the lights, I faced the other direction. “As you say dear princess.” He teased, and I seriously hated that nickname so much!

I shouldn’t even have come to this trip on the first thing, everything about this trip was totally insane and wrong. First, sharing the room with Jeffrey, almost fighting with my friend and the worst of all I decided to take my booster dose before coming here is the sole reason why I was late to the hotel. My left arm right now felt as if someone been practice punching like my arm is a punch bag, it’s so damn painful!

Groaning while holding my left arm to suppress the pained, I faced the other side, trying to get in a comfortable position to fall asleep forgetting about the man next to me. “Are you feeling uncomfortable?” a husky voice made me shot open my eyes and find that the sleepy eyes of Jeffrey already on me. “What do you expect when you’re lying next to me?” scoffing he shifted closer much to my dismay.

“Look I know your arm hurts cause Sheera told me you’re at the hospital getting your booster shot so don’t try to pull up an act right now.” Taken aback by his interest in me, I know she’ll never tell him about whereabouts until he asks and I questioned further. “Why did you even ask her about me?” how dumb of me to raise an eyebrow as if he would see it.

For the first time in three years I have known him, he stuttered when talking to me, was he taken by surprise with my question? OMG Driana don’t forget to write this history moment in your diary. “H-huh? I- I …” he cleared his throat “I thought I was using this room alone…then when Sheera came and asked if you could stay in this room too as you were late and there weren’t any spare room left… so I asked why you were late…”this sounds convincing, not that much actually but it does.

“Ooh. By the way, what about your girlfriend? Shouldn’t you be on this trip with her and the one who supposedly to share room with?” I smirked. My eyes were begging me to sleep but my arm soreness forced me to wake up and point a useless question. “Well we broke up a year ago.” He deadpanned as I face palmed myself mentally. What a stupid question!

“So you mean… you haven’t dates like for a year?” I gasped genuinely shocked by it. “Yes.” Wait really, the SO GODLY JEFFREY hasn’t dated anyone FOR A YEAR!! “Not even a fling?” I was about to get up but the stinging soreness in my arm pulled me back. “No. Not even a fling.” He repeated. “Woah, wow! It kinda surprised me actually.” It was a news, at least to me. “Is it that surprised? Because I thought you knew very well the type of girl I’m interested in, so I don’t think it should surprise you that way.” He whispered. Wait, what?

Leaning his head on his elbow he stared in my eyes, even though it was dark, nothing could be seen as there was very little light coming from the curtained window. But his eyes shone in this darkness, as if they were the only source of light in this dark room, as if they are the most beautiful pair of eyes to ever exist, as if I could drown in th-

‘What the hell are you thinking Driana!? You hate him, you can’t like him! He’s your enemy!’ The same voice from before alarmed me, it was right, he’s my enemy…

“Did you take painkillers?” he questioned, eyes not leaving mine. “Yes, after dinner I did.” Neither did I break the gaze. “Then we can try this.” With this said he stood up, took two pillows which were used to be a wall between both us ‘by me’. And then he placed one of the pillows under my arm which had been aching and the other beside it as to secure my arm.

“I hope it’s better than before.” His eyes creased, hinting the smile on his lips. “It is, thank you.” I’m mumbling and closed my eyes shut not wanting to let my thoughts move freely. ‘Sleep Driana, you seriously just need to sleep now.’

“Sleep well Driana and don’t worry I won’t throw my limbs on top of you.” The mattress next to me dripped inwards, he had lied down, probably facing the other side, I hope. Opening my eyes, I looked at his face which are so close to me… I totally hate this guy.

I hate him because firstly, he didn’t face the other side, secondly he made me feel all these weird things for him and thirdly, he didn’t keep his promise. After he had fallen asleep and probably I was too. I felt his arms curling around my torso as he shifted closer to me.

Maybe I was dreaming, or maybe not but I couldn’t care less right now at the moment because he felt warm, and I liked that warmth. Maybe he isn’t that bad, maybe I shouldn’t hate him this much.

Love 2 Hate U (part 2)

Dreams, dreamland, dreaming and every synonym of the word ‘dream’ is an escape from reality for many. Few of us have realistic dreams which they want to come true and work hard for but most of us have unrealistic dreams. For say, a typical 5-year old me had dreams of chocolate cities, flying cars but the present me wouldn’t have such dreams. Fine, I still have those kind of dream like chocolate houses but that’s not what we should talk about at the moment-…

I should be having some sweet dreams or maybe my perfect love story. But what is Jeffrey doing in my dream? And why the hell is he so close to me? Why does he have that lustful gaze? Are his hands wrapped around my waist? Why is he hovering over me? And why am I smiling? Oh my god, OH MY GOD am I having weird dream about him? Sh!t wake up Driana! Right now!!

“Right now!” My eyes shot open as I mumbled the last part quite loudly but the squeal that followed was much louder making the man in front of me jolt up in surprise. Was I still dreaming? If not then what in the universe was Jeffrey doing leaning towards my previous sleeping state? Plus, he’s half naked with his perfectly defined abs on full display?!?

Shifting towards the empty part of the bed and sitting up, I brought the blanket upwards covering my chest. “What were you doing?” frowning, I shifted further back. “Do you always wake up screaming like this?” putting his index finger in his left ear continued “I think my eardrums gonna get ruptured, god you were too loud.” The way he ignored my question which is nothing new to me but he totally fires me up.

“Don’t you ignore me Jeffrey Suh! What were you doing? Or what did you just do?” a not very pleasing scenario flashed in front of my eyes, which happened to be very similar to my dream. I quickly looked under the blanket. Panicked.

I don’t think I have ever been this relieved to know that I was fully clothed. “Oh no no princess, I won’t ever do such a thing without your consent and you sleeping as if you were dead log.” He smiled. I should be happy knowing he’s such a gentleman or mad that he pointed out my sleeping habits? Deciding to do the latter, I pointed a finger at him.

“Then what were you doing? Were you trying to kiss me or what? Why were you so close to me? And why on earth are you not wearing your shirt on?” Bursting out I stood up from the bed, standing across from him. “Calm down will you? I was trying to wake you up and since you weren’t budging at all, I thought of checking if you were alive or not. And I just got out of the shower that’s why no shirt on freaky.” Crossing his arms over his chest he smirked.

“But if you want I could totally make your wish come true. Want me to do it? And I know you love what you’re seeing now.” His smirk grew even bigger when I turned my head away trying to hide the burning redness on my cheeks which he saw. “I hate you Jeff!” mumbling I walked towards the bathroom, shoving him aside.

“We’re leaving in 20 minutes so don’t fall asleep inside there!” he announced as I went inside the bathroom and counter back the closing of the door. “Finally he’s gone.” Placing a hand on my chest as I tried to calm down my heartbeat which was running a marathon. He’s seriously making me going crazy right now.

It’s been two hours since we reached the beach after going for brunch and a bit of exploring the town. Thankfully my friends accompanied me this time and didn’t leave me out to be with their boyfriends, actually they did a few times but I chose to ignore that. The day went by pretty calmly until we reached the beach.

It’s around 5 in the evening, as I said it’s been two hours since we reached here and two hours since everybody is busy playing in the water like pre-schoolers. They should do something else now, they’ve played in the waves for quite long now.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it if I was there in the water myself but sitting on this wooden beach chair under the shade of trees by shore for two hours straight is boring me out now. I know, I know it was my own decision to not go with the rest as I didn’t like going into the salty water but I guess should’ve, at least I won’t be sitting here sulking watching them happily enjoying themselves.

“It’s better to sit there than sulking here all alone.” The very familiar voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “I don’t like bei-…” not even sparing him a glance I focused back on the book I was reading, I tried to defend myself before getting cut off “I am well aware that you don’t like being in sea water” he knows? How does he even know that? Never mind. “But you could still enjoy it if you’re a bit closer to everyone than being in this area where anyone can hardly see you.”

The shuffling next to me hinted that he had settled down in the empty chair beside me. Still not looking towards him, I continued with my baseless defence “I like being alone, I am enjoying here, away from everyone else and within the vicinity of myself.” A scoff was heard before he tried once again to prove me wrong “So why do you look like a lost puppy when you enjoy your vicinity?”

Why the heck is he always so interested in meddling with peaceful, yeah I know my kind of boring peaceful life right? Ugh! I really don’t want to ruin this day by having an argument with him. “Why are you even her-…” my voice got stuck in my throat as I finally looked at the man who’s suddenly sitting in front of me who had his eyes fixated on mine.

Damn it! How come is he even real? How come the sight in front of me isn’t a dream? Am I still in a dream from this morning? Sh!t I hoped I was because what I’m seeing now isn’t good for me at all and definitely fatal for the organ beating at an inhumane pace in my chest.

Jeffrey Suh sat in front of me shirtless just like he was in the morning but the droplets of water and sweat glistening under the sun on those chiselled abs took my breath away. He was drenched from head to toe. His facial features stood out more right now. He’s totally making me going insane right now.

Snapping a finger in front of my eyes, he pulled me out of my thoughts “I know I’m an art but this is not a museum miss, please be back on earth Dri.” He waved his right hand in front of me. Gulping the lump formed in my throat I looked at him whose face held that smug smile. “I-I was-wasn’t…I thi-think you should apply sunscreen…it-it’s hot right now.” Averting my gaze from the source of hotness for me I looked behind my back, suddenly an unknown flower looking much more interesting.

NO IT WASN’T INTERESTING! I wanna stare back at him! BACK TO REALITY DRIANA! I reminded myself for a millionth times.

“Don’t worry princess, I applied it in the morning already. But if you want to put it on me again by yourself then I don’t even mind to apply for second times.” Moving his hand up and down on his exposed chest to tease me. “NO!” it came out a bit aggressive because it took all the strength in me to say that, every single cell in my body screamed to say yes but I can’t agree with him.

Standing up I started walking towards the stairs that led up to the cliff tower, I just needed to get out of here. “Where are you going princess? Dri wait up!” he shouted. I’m just going away from you Jeff, otherwise I might not know what might come out of my stupid head and mouth.

“Wait!” His palm ever so lightly brushed past my shoulder and sent a shiver down my body as my feet came to a stop. “Let’s go together, I was planning to visit the top too.” he panted. Not able to form a verbal response I continued on the track but stealing a glance at him before doing so. Thank goodness he’s wearing a shirt now.

“What are the plans for tomorrow? You’ve any idea?” we were almost there just a few more steps. “I don’t know but I guess I overheard Sheera discussing with Mia about beach volleyball and some games for couples like Kan Jam, Squap and few more.” Jeffrey, who had already reached the top, answered my questioned which left me frowning.

Couple games? Didn’t they know that not everyone is dating, but well for this trip maybe just left ME…and I forgot that Jeffrey also single right now. But still it counts as two people! How can they ignore that? “Wow, tomorrow is going to be boring as well, I’ll have to just sit and watch those love birds playing.” I huffed out once reaching the spot. “So you were bored sitting there just now?!” he mocked me as I side-eyed him.

Choosing to ignore his comment, I looked down the cliff, the sea waves crashing beautifully on the dark brown rocks below. Mesmerising. The cool breeze blowing made this moment even more beautiful. Relaxing. And the bright red sun which would disappear any moment gave a serene view. I loved being here with this picturesque scene.

“You can team up with me tomorrow, I’m alone anyways.” He suggested moving closer to me. “Two nemesis teaming up together? Woah are you seriously declaring a cease fire?” Chuckling, I looked at him, who didn’t seem to find it funny for some reason. “Why do you even call me as your enemy by the way? Do you really hate me that much?” his serious expression didn’t falter; he wasn’t joking at all.

“I never hate you Dri. In fact, I have liked you since the day I saw you for the first time, three years back. I was just a BIG FOOL who didn’t know how to approach you and just somehow the only way I could near or approach you closer was by getting on your nerves. I am seriously sorry.” wrapping his arms around my waist, he dipped his head low on my shoulder and sit against the wall of the tower.

He likes me? Like seriously? Plus, for those past three years? That’s the biggest plot twist in my life that I have ever had and it’s too much to digest. What is even happening? Is everything REAL or just I’m DREAMING again? Wait a minute, so he likes me and that’s why he always found a way just to be around me 24/7? That’s why he always started conversations by getting on my nerves? Woah that’s seriously not a good way to show your love for someone Mr Jeffrey Suh.

“You’re not seriously pulling my leg right?” shaking his head in a NO, he looked up at my face “I really like you. I know I irritated you a lot sometimes, that’s why I always sent those Hershey’s kisses as an apology. I know you love them.” He grinned foolishly seeing the shock on my face.

“That wasn’t Sheera whom giving them to me because she got them from her boyfriend? It was you?” a loud gasp flew past ad he nodded his head. Oh my god! Really? Please… if he had just confessed with a pouch of those I would have said YES on the spot! He didn’t have to do all the ‘irritating me’ drama all along.

“And you sure do look cute when you’re annoyed and getting angry, just like right now.” Resting both his hands on my waist he giggled. “Wait a second.” I blinked at him “Does Sheera knows about your feelings for me?” Oh gosh, she shouldn’t have hide such a big thing from me! “Umm… yes, when my ex broke up with me last year, I was very sure of my feelings for you more than anything because it didn’t hurt when she left. So when Sheera came to console, I told her about everything and…” he averted his eyes from me…

Scratching the back of his head he continued “…and I kinda asked her if she could persuade you to share the room with me.” His little smile shone with guilt as my eyes went wide with shock. “You did not jus-…” I pointed my finger at him. “No look, there wasn’t any vacant room! You had to end up sharing it with me anyways. Yes, that’s a different thing, she might have agreed to exchange it with me if I hadn’t begged her not to give up no matter what you did.”

Tightening his grip around my waist he smiled, knowing I’ll try my best to get out of there. “Leave me Jeff!” I tried my best to get out of there. He betrayed me, my best friend betrayed me, I feel so damn stupid right now!!

“I’m seriously sorry, but I just like you so much that I can’t help it.” His grip around me loosened but arms not leaving my waist. “Jeffrey… I don’t know what to say, can you give me some time to think about it? It’s a bit too much for me to process all things that just happen. I mean I always suppressed my feelings for you and now I just can’t say I like you. It just I need some time to process all these things that happen right now.”

I know there’s no way I would say no to him, but I need my time to process and calm myself down before really figure out that I really like him. I don’t want everything to be in a rush then fall apart easily. And I know he knows it too cause the bright smile he gave me expressed it very well. “Take all the time you need, princess. I’ll wait till you’re ready.” Leaning down a bit and he placed a small peck on my cheek as my whole body stiffened with his small gesture. I bet my whole face was as red a tomato. “You’re so cute.”

My piece on the new Star World show.