But... I realize the value in planning for the kind of person you want to be, and the kind of life you want to have. Setting goals.

First of all, it needs to be quantifiable, and within your control. "Find a job or internship" is not entirely within my control. "Apply for x number of spots" is.

Second, it helps to keep in mind why you're doing it. Fitness and dental hygiene are two things that tend to fall by the wayside when I'm doing badly — but in the long term, they are important to me. I'd really like to avoid cavities/painful dental procedures, and I feel better about myself when I'm strong and have some physical endurance. I like to move. So I'm going to figure out how to incorporate more of that into my life, remind myself how good it feels when I do get out and exercise.

Third, I know I'm not perfect. I'm not going to beat myself up about not making a strict goal. Sometimes we do backtrack, or take a detour, or whatever. It's about having a personal destination in mind — the route is allowed to be flexible. Accidents and construction and traffic jams happen.

I have an image in mind of where I'd like to be in a few years: financial situation, living situation, friends and hobbies, physical and mental health, job situation can be flexible but I have a vague idea of that too, relationships more or less... And I know it's not going to happen right now, but I can take steps towards that, whether they're big or baby ones.

Thats part of the reason I started this journey because after my relationship ended, I didnt feel good enough. I constantly blamed myself for the reasons our relationship ended. My mental health plummeted.

I know I've only started up again last week after a 3 week of self blame/hiatus so this is my results of it. The lighting might play a factor too but I feel like I just went backwards. And its absolutely depressing. But I'm not going to give up! I'm going to use this frustration and apply it for my workouts onward.

Today I incorporated a bit of cardio! My Crossrope and these guys are such a game changer. I have 5+ different weighted ropes and they're just AMAZING! They're actually one of the big factors as to why I started this journey. I LOVE jumping rope its one of my favorite past times from childhood and incorporating into my workout routine has done so much.

I've decided that I'm going to start posting progress pictures once a week to see where I ended and look at any differences. Maybe that'll help me get out of this funk I'm in right now.