#lostemotion

edeabeth

Clairvoyant- tony/Nat - Natasha gets deaged, tony helps her back.  1/1

Russian Winter - Clint/Nat - after a mission in Russia, Clint helps out Nat back together again. 1/1

Intervention - Nat/team - nothing triggers her; she’s just triggered. 1/1

crash and tremble - Natasha/team. Natasha comes back from the red room worse for wear. The team takes over. And also gets her a dog.  1/1

Crash and begin - sequel to above. 1/1

igrockspock

Introduction to Western Literature - Clint/Nat/Maria - in the beginning Natasha only had books in common - 1/1

The time machine - Natasha/Clint - time machine sends them back to the red room - 1/1

Junk food and dirty socks - Clint/Nat - how they show their love - 1/1

Congratulations on an Excellent Kill - Nat/Clint - Natasha navigates gift giving - 1/1

Six Cities that are not Budapest - clint/Nat - what do normal people do on vacation?- 2/2

CaraLee

silver arrow - clint/Nat - after the winter soldier Natasha hopes everything is not a lie.   2/2

Bettybackintheday @bettybackintheday 

until my casket drops - Nat/Clint- Natasha wakes up in hospital -1/1

All in the family - Barton family - 1/1

Aliceinchainmail

confirmed mutual admission - Clint/Nat - you can’t take the Russian out of Nat but you can take her somewhere safe. 1/1

wewillalwaysenduphere

two weapons - Clint saved Natasha when given the orders to kill her. This is them, getting to know each other. This is Natasha, discovering her humanity. 1/1

atraphoenix/calloftherunningtide

of spectrums and spoons. Natasha - Natasha has autism. The team figures it out - 1/1

Waldorph

fubar- Clint/Nat - after the avengers, Natasha takes Clint to Russia. 1/1

RED - Natasha - this is what she remembers. It’s not enough. 1/1

Queenriley

of languages - clint/Nat/team - Natasha and Clint speak all the languages. The team tries to figure it out. 

Unconventional lullaby - team - orphans and family dynamics, clint is having a hard time.  1/1

A place to be safe - team - Five lonely, broken people have five lonely, broken beginnings.   1/1

hazellazer

movie night - team/Clint/Nat - tony keeps inviting them for movie nights, it must be nice to have free time.  1/1

Chess Pieces (or five times Clint and Natasha didn’t sleep together and the first time they did) - Clint/Nat - Clint Barton trusts Natalia Romanova, even when he probably shouldn’t.  6/6

Fearful Passage - Clint/Nat- mission - things go from bad to worse.  3/3

Frances

Five Times Natasha Throws Up On One Of Her Teammates - team - And one time she doesn’t. 5 + 1 -  6/6

But Not Worth Writing Down - team - Of lessons in humanity, the wisdom of drunkards, the people that keep you whole and finally having that chat with your partner. Sort of. -  1/1

persiflet/anonymous

problem solving - team - when shield goes down, pepper is there to pick up the pieces -1/1

Trojie

Homecomings - team - team as family. Coming home. 1/1

Leverage - clint/Nat - they’ve been stood down, they need to make their own fun (if you know what I mean). 1/1

Sarea Okelani (sarea)

chasing the light - Clint/Nat - a mission goes awry, they’re still spies but they have to pick up the pieces -  4/4

Geckoholic @lostemotion

dropping glasses just to hear them break- Clint/Nat- Clint is supposed to bring in the black widow. A third party intervenes and Clint needs help. 1/1

Stay away from the sun - Clint/Nat - they know who the are/were. 1/1

With her there comes a hunger - Clint/Nat- Natasha’s been anxious to try this out a better way, with less desperation and uncertainty and worry. Less of the whispered voice in the back of her head telling her that she’s reviling in hurting the man she loves and shouldn’t be allowed near him ever again. 1/1

All your worries spent - Clint/Nat - kink and handcuffs - 1/1

The opposite of falling (sequel to above) - the come down is worse than the highs and lows. 1/1

The company you keep - Clint/Nat -Clint and Natasha get to know each other in the biblical sense the first time they meet and don’t catch feelings until later. 1/1

VictoryCandescence

shades - Nat/bruce - the mental manipulation and sterilisation of Natasha - 1/1

Kali588  @itsnotokbutwereallright

me too - marvel ladies - #metoo 1/1

Darkest Secrets - Clint/Nat -  things you said when I was crying and you made me feel like shit. 1/1

Its always a test - Clint/Nat - Natasha is cleared for missions but isn’t on Clint’s team.  1/1

Does Pizza have healing properties - Clint/Nat/Kate - Clint Loses his memory, the whole team is there. 16/16

RougeTwelve

Stay with me - Nat/Steve - secrets that Natasha had never intended to reveal were ripped to the surface without her consent 4/4

EppyWeppy

Together again - Natasha/team - Natasha gets captured on the raft by Ross. It brings the team back together. 14/14

CarlyWrites - @natandwandaseries

-

Meeting Nezumi again was everything and nothing like Shion had hoped. He had not expected Nezumi to come to his rescue, but then again he hadn’t expected to be labeled a criminal either. It surprised Shion how little he cared about having to flee No.6. As irrational as it was, he had a feeling that as long as Nezumi was by his side, he’d be able to survive anything. After four years of living with a memory, the real Nezumi was within his grasp and this time Shion would not let go so easily.

Nezumi was still the same contradictory enigma he had been when he was twelve. He told Shion not to be kind to strangers, yet he had given Shion’s flannel to one of the children living nearby. He told Shion to let go of his memories, yet clung to his own past. But the one thing Shion couldn’t wrap his head around was how Nezumi had kept an eye on him for four years, watching him from the shadows and keeping him out of trouble, yet now he seemed almost hostile. They got into fights and every night Nezumi left him. Nezumi left him just like he did all those years ago. Whenever Shion asked why, where to, or when he’d get back, he dodged the questions.

One night, a month or two after Shion had arrived in West Block, he was alone in the underground room again. Nezumi had run off somewhere without telling him where the day before, and hadn’t come back. The stew Shion had made earlier that evening was cooling down on the stove. He hadn’t wanted to have dinner alone, but it was getting late and his stomach growled. He had never known hunger back in No.6, had never known how hard it was to ignore, making it impossible to focus on other things. His clothes were baggier on him than he remembered them being. Another growl echoed through the vault and Hamlet chirped on his shoulder. Shion smiled and reached up to scratch its head.

“We can’t eat yet. Nezumi isn’t home,” he said with a sad smile. He put down his book, the enchantment of the “Lady of Shalott” broken by hunger and worries. He ran his fingers over the spine of the book and stared at a stain on the open page. Hesitantly, as if speaking the words out loud would make them come true, he asked, “Do you think he will come back?” The mouse chirped again, seemingly reprimanding him. Shion chuckled and shook his head, scolding himself for even daring to think Nezumi wouldn’t come back. This was his home, after all. “You’re right, of course he will.”

He loved his new life with Nezumi but he couldn’t deny it was lonely when Nezumi wasn’t here, even though he had the mice to keep him company. With a sigh, he closed his book and pushed himself off the floor. Right when he had turned the stove back on to heat up their dinner, the door opened and Nezumi stepped inside, a gust of wind accompanying him. It seemed to storm wherever he went.

Immediately all of Shion’s worries melted away, the tension flowed out of his body and he sent Nezumi a bright smile. “Welcome home.”

He had been foolish to doubt Nezumi. Of course he would always come back. No matter how many times Nezumi left him, he always came back. Even when Nezumi had collapsed on stage, when Shion feared his life had been taken by a parasite bee, Nezumi had opened his eyes and called out Shion’s name.

So surely Nezumi must come back to him now as well. That was the thought that grounded him as Shion stared at his hands, painted red with Nezumi’s blood. A sight he’d never expected to see since he had stitched up his shoulder. It was a silly thought, but after Shion had watched Nezumi survive so many perils that were sure to kill him, he had come to think it was impossible for Nezumi to die. He had forgotten Nezumi bled just like humans do. He had forgotten that Nezumi was human. Nezumi, who laughed, danced, fought, bled, was human.

And now here he was, lying on the floor of the Correctional Facility, his pale skin crying crimson, sluggishly gushing bloody tears, his breathing shortening and pulse slowly, slowly, slowing down. Dying like humans do.

A vague voice in the back of Shion’s head yelled at him to get up, drag him to safety, tend to his wound like you did all those years ago. Shion slowly tore his gaze away from his bloodied hands, stared at Nezumi’s face which was growing paler by the second.

Get up! the voice screamed. After you have saved each other so many times, do you really want to let him die now?

“He killed Safu….” Shion murmured.

You know that is not true. You have both killed people. You are both drenched in sin. Now get up and save Nezumi, otherwise he will never come back to you.

A soft whimper, impossibly loud in the cacophony of death and destruction around them, snapped Shion’s attention back to the bleeding body in his arms.

Right. He had to save Nezumi. He had to save Nezumi and get out of the Correctional Facility. Inukashi and Rikiga were waiting for them. His mother was waiting for them. And together they’d return to that room underground - to their home.

Shion hooked his arms under Nezumi’s armpits and started dragging him to the nearest room, wincing as he watched another wave of blood flow from Nezumi’s chest. He was going to save Nezumi, even if it would cost him his own life.

-

Even before he was fully awake his mind had registered every cell in his sore and battered body screaming in pain. But as he opened his eyes and recognised the storage room that also used to function as his bedroom, the memories of the past few days slowly washed over him and the pain turned into a pleasant ache. The injuries were almost a trophy, proof that he and Nezumi had destroyed the Correctional Facility, destroyed No. 6 and received a second chance from Elyurias.

Nezumi.

Shion looked over at the other side of the bed and found it empty. Although they had shared a bed in the West Block as well, he was no stranger to waking up alone, for various reasons. But today, waking up without Nezumi was a punch to the gut. After everything they had been through, the horrors they had witnessed and survived, he couldn’t bear being alone. He had to know if Nezumi was still alive.

A breeze caressed his cheek and he glanced at the window. Karan had opened it last night for some fresh air and they hadn’t closed it. Shion sat up, blankets pooling around his waist, and stared outside. Was this a repeat of four years ago? Had Nezumi really left him already? Again? Or had it all been an eerily realistic fever dream? He did not know which would be worse.

-

The relief he had felt when he had found Nezumi standing in the door opening, a cup of coffee in his hands and a gentle smile on his face, his hair swaying in the breeze and fondly greeting him with his usual “your majesty” was nothing compared to the feeling of rejection that shook him to his very core when Nezumi had told him he wanted to travel. The sparkle in Nezumi’s eyes when he spoke of discovering distant lands made Shion envious, wishing Nezumi would look upon him with the same wonder as he gazed at the landscapes.

But as much as the truth hurt, Shion knew deep in his heart that this was for the best. The idea of making a home here was paradise to Shion, but to Nezumi it would be a prison. He was a free spirit that should not be caged. Still, that did not stop him from pleading Nezumi to stay anyway. As they stood in the fields and Nezumi checked his provisions one final time, ready to leave on a long trip to unknown destinations, it was suddenly hard to breathe.

Before he could stop himself, he grabbed Nezumi’s hand and called out his name. “I’m begging you. Please don’t leave, Nezumi. A world without you means nothing to me. Nothing, Nezumi. There isn’t any meaning at all.“ The words tumbled over his lips in a desperate attempt to convince Nezumi to stay. He half expected Nezumi to scold him for saying weird things again, but then gentle fingers on his chin lifted his head and Nezumi’s face was suddenly a lot closer than it had been. He barely got to protest before Nezumi pressed his lips against his. A hand came up to cradle his jaw and Shion squeezed his eyes shut, not caring about the tears that spilled over his cheeks. As one who is shipwrecked clings to a piece of driftwood that once belonged to the ship that carried and guided him over the vast oceans in life, so Shion reached up and clung to Nezumi’s arm like it was the only thing capable of grounding him. Sorrow, yearning, anguish, love, and more feelings he could not even identify rushed through him and threatened to drown him.

When he finally came back up for air, Shion almost didn’t dare to ask for fear of his heart shattering. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. He doubted he ever would be. But more than that, he could not bear the thought of never seeing Nezumi again. He did not know what he would do with himself if Nezumi truly never returned to him. He couldn’t-

“It was a promise,” Nezumi replied with a gentle smile. He carefully untangled himself from Shion and pocketed his hands. “Reunion will come, Shion.” Nezumi sent him a final, longing look and with that, he turned away.

As Shion watched him casually walking down the rocky path like he was simply going out for a stroll, he thought of the questions he had asked himself when he was thirteen, hiding under the covers, and the answers he had gotten during their winter together. He realised most questions still went unanswered, but that was all right. As long as one question would be answered, nothing else mattered.