#lostchoirchild

A few years ago, Virgil would have been able to pick out blind, aloof optimism like his out of a crowd easily. But, now, he’s spent too much time on the surface. There are a bunch of kind, trusting, bubbly types.

@lostchoirchild said: Logan, Roman. Have you considered that it will be extremely difficult/nearly impossible for Virgil to properly heal from his injuries (that you CAUSED, in case you've forgotten) without access to his room? I know you are trying to do an "unbiased" test to see if Anxiety is actually necessary, but you are knowingly keeping another living being from healing. That isn't right at all, regardless of what you are trying to prove.

When Logan returned to the room, Anxiety was sitting in a corner of the box, slumped over for a moment. As soon as Logan stepped closer, though, he jerked up as though he’d been electrocuted and snapped his head around to look at him, eyes wide with panic. 

Logan paused. “Anxiety?” Had he been sleeping? Why not use the bed?

In a concerningly short amount of time, the tiny side’s face reverted to his normal dismissive scowl. He rolled to his feet, and somehow didn’t wince or move stiffly even though Logan knew those bruises had to be paining him. “What?” He snapped sharply. 

Logan eyed the hunch of his shoulders and bit down on the questions he had. “... Nothing important.” He sat down on his desk and rifled through the first aid kit Roman had left behind, quickly locating the arnica cream. Anxiety slouched against the wall of the box in a way that looked casual, but his eyes were locked on every movement the larger side made. 

“I have arnica cream, which will help your bruises if you massage it into the affected areas. Since you have bruises surrounding your front and back, it would be more efficient if I helped you apply it.” 

Anxiety, who had been leaning forwards slightly to peer at the tube of cream Logan held, drew back, squinting at him. “You know there’s no way that’s gonna happen, right?”

Logan sighed. “Without my aid, I doubt that you’ll be able to reach all of your bruises-”

“No. I can handle it fine on my own.” 

Feeling a tinge of irritation at being interrupted by the harsh refusal, Logan was tempted to inform that there wasn’t particularly anything he could do to stop Logan at his current size.

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: "After capturing him against his will, injuring him and terrifying him to the point of fainting, as well as neglect his bodily needs (food, water, etc.) and ignore his opinion on every aspect of this matter, it would be cruel of me to leave him alone and give him a chance to recover without invading his privacy." I see some logical fallacies in your reasoning, Logan. You're just twisting your words to fit your goals so you don't feel guilty for abusing this power dynamic.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, though, his eyes caught on the way Anxiety’s hands were fisted in his hoodie, knuckles white. He sighed. “Very well.” 

The way Anxiety’s eyes went wide would have been comical if it wasn’t so disheartening. Logan unscrewed and slid the tube into the box, his hand passing through the construct easily, and Anxiety took a couple of wary steps back, as though expecting a trick. The tube was huge compared to his tiny arms, but hopefully not too difficult to lift or manipulate. 

Logan moved to return his work, and then paused again, remembering how he’d never seen the other side with any skin exposed. Removing clothes and caring for wounds were both actions that typically inspired feelings of vulnerability when done in front of others.

With a flick of his fingers, a wooden canopy slid into place over the bed, draped with heavy dark curtains that looked out of place next to Patton’s colorful bedspread. Anxiety jumped, twisting around to look at it and sending Logan an odd look. “What’s that for?”

“I understand that unlike Roman’s… decorating choices, this construct leaves something to be desired in regards to privacy. As such, I believe these will work as barriers to use if you so choose.” At Anxiety’s skeptical look, he continued. “I will not interact with the bed or it’s overhang without your explicit permission.”

“Sure.” Anxiety muttered as Logan turned away. 

I want to drive away, I never really feel a thing, Dear Theodosia, what to say to you? On the road, on the road.  I don’t wanna fall, fall away.

Fake You Out (TOP)

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T (FOB)

Dear Theodosia (Hamilton)

Viridian City (NateWantsToBattle cover)

Fall Away (TOP)

Anonymous said: Logan, Roman, do you really still think this “experiment” of yours is a good idea?

Anonymous said: Good. Treat him like a person you two! Be kind to him and heck, maybe even let Patton in on this before you starve and scare the lil guy into never coming round again! Anxiety is important and hecking valid!

@dragonindigo245 said: Please be careful you two (Looking at you Roman). Don’t want him to be hurt more than he already is. I would recommend you all prepare for if he wakes up while you’re doing this because he mayyyy not react well at first.

Anonymous said: Logan and Roman: Do you think it’s ethical to keep Anxiety trapped in this state if he’s going to be mistreated like this? You should at least make up for your mistakes if you’re not going to let him go… -🐌

@10moonymhrivertam said: You *could* reevaluate the parameters…or you could let him go. But since we already know you won’t do that, please make a checklist or something of things he needs but won’t tell you when he needs them.

@lostchoirchild said: Boys, please do reexamine the experiment. Virgil is too stubborn and frightened to admit anything is wrong, and it will end up seriously harming him. Not to mention what will happen if Patton find out.

Anonymous said: Listen. Logan. You do know that one of the biggest things about conducting an ethical experiment is consent. Like… you can’t just experiment on people whenever you want my dude. Don’t you or Roman just feel the slightest bit of guilt because of what you and Roman have put anxiety through? Especially after those bruises…

Anonymous said: Perhaps this “re-evaluation” means letting him back to his room and treating him like his own person? -🦊

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: Logan and Roman, maybe Anxiety might heal faster in his room?

@ncanspeak said: JUST LET HIM GO BACK TO NORMAL AND LOCK HIM IN HIS ROOM IF YA WANNA TEST YOU BONEHEADS

Anonymous said: Gee Logan, for the “logical side” you sure are dense

@callboxkat said: Uh, yeah, you think, Logan?

Anonymous said: Thank god they finally realized they were idiots I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack

@pansy-chic27213 said: Logan, Roman - before you do anything else, please leave some water and food for Virgil. Cheerios and nuts are great options because they have lots of nutrients and vitamins, and Virgil can eat them whenever he’s hungry without needing your help.

“Anxiety…” Roman faltered. Logan cleared his throat, irritated at his momentary lapse in words.

“Anxiety, though we’ve certainly had our differences in the past, we don’t wish harm upon you. As parts of Thomas, it would be antithetical to his well-being to do such a thing.”

Virgil snorted, face set in a scowl. “Yeah, right.” 

“Yes, I am correct.” Logan grunted in irritation as Roman elbowed him out of the way. “Anxiety, what exactly do we have to do to prove to you that we are genuine?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe let me go?” Virgil deadpanned, leaning back from Roman’s overwhelming presence. “Since you know that it’s ‘antithetical’ for me to harm Thomas? That thing you literally just said?” 

“I said it would be antithetical to wish harm upon each other. I do not believe that you are attempting to hurt Thomas, but actions and intentions are not the same.” Logan pushed his glasses up on his nose. “That is the whole reason behind this trial. If you were genuinely causing Thomas more harm than help, can you honestly tell me that you would continue to behave as you have?” 

Virgil stopped short, averting his gaze in a sulk. What a joke. He knew the other Sides would treat his behavior as unacceptable whether or not it proved to be beneficial to Thomas. Besides, if it was that easy to change, he would have done it a long time ago.

@10moonymhrivertam said: Logan, what does Thomas’s schedule look like for the week?

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose at the clear non-response. “Okay. Consider this, I will offer you a deal. Thomas has a few events coming up this week: a study group with classmates, a campus event where clubs advertise for new members, and a volunteer event a friend wanted his company for.” 

Virigil groaned, already envisioning everything that could go wrong without him there. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it is the perfect opportunity.” Logan replied. “Remain in this state with us for the next week, and we will be able to gather evidence to ascertain your effects on Thomas and how necessary they are.” 

Virgil bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Some ‘deal’. The logical Side hadn’t even attempted to conceal the fact that they would be one deciding whether or not he was necessary, meaning that no matter what evidence they found, he’d be screwed. 

“And then what? You just let me go at the end of the week?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Roman responded. “That was implied.” 

Virgil gave him his best You-Are-An-Idiot stare. “Even when you decide that me being like this is ‘better for everybody’?”

Roman faltered, realizing the flaw. “Well…” 

“Regardless of the results, at the end of the week we will be releasing you.” Logan stated, and they both turned to look at him with varying levels of disbelief. “However, we will be speaking to Thomas about the results of this experiment. I imagine your power will be greatly reduced if he is informed that you: one, are truly not necessary and two, can be overcome for brief periods.”   

Virgil scowled harder to hide his rising panic. The influence a Dark Side had on Thomas depended on how much he feared them, knowingly or unknowingly. He was already so limited from being forced into the conscious mind. Having more power stripped from him could be disastrous. Not that he was going to tell them that. 

He hesitated in turning the deal down, though. If he played his cards right, he could probably fool them into thinking he had Stockholm Syndrome, get them to lower their guard. Make escaping that much easier than if they knew he was going to go down kicking and screaming. If he agreed…. It would make things easier. Who cared about pride at this point?

Still, acquiescing so easily would just make them suspicious. “How do I know that you’ll really let me go?” 

“Prince’s honor!” Roman chirped, and Virgil leveled an unimpressed stare at him before switching his gaze to Logan, ignoring the resulting offended Princey noises.

“Logically, we wouldn’t offer you a bargain like this if we didn’t care mean what we were saying. We currently hold all the power in this situation. We’re perfectly capable of keeping you captive indefinitely, so it follows that there is no rational reason to trick you into this deal. We simply want to work out a compromise with you.” The logical Side offered, waving a hand to emphasize. Roman looked vaguely uncomfortable.

A compromise to ease their guilt, maybe. Virgil kept the thought to himself. “Ugh… fine. I’ll take the stupid deal.” 

“Excellent.” Logan said, and reached out, prompting Virgil to flinch back. He flushed when he realized the bigger Side was simply extending a finger to shake, and slapped the digit away to cover up the moment of weakness. In his embarrassment, he didn’t notice the complicated glance the other two exchanged. 

“Well then, we will take our leave.” Logan said a beat late, and with a touch the walls were back up. Virgil rolled his eyes, forcing his discomfort down, and then jolted in surprise when two new items popped up at his side. 

A scaled-down gallon water bottle and a small bowl full of regular sized nuts. What was he, a hamster? At least they weren’t dishes like a dog’s, he supposed. He watched as the door closed behind the other Sides, letting out a shaky sigh. 

@just-some-gt-trash said: Yey portals *sarcasm jazz hands*

@hiddendreamer67 said: Yaaaaaas I love portal, nice touch Roman!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: Ooo! This might not be so bad then, you just have to puzzle your way out, find out which move could lead you to the other side. Hope is not lost!

Virgil sat down on the stairs, shoe in one hand, too fatigued to put it back on. There was no other side to the moat; it simply encircled the entire castle and left only open air beyond it. If he’d just had to deal with the height, he could have made a rope ladder out of sheets or something, and if he’d only had to deal with the moat, he could have come up with a way to bypass it to solid ground on the other side. But both? He wasn’t feeling optimistic about his chances. 

The ground vibrated slightly, and he looked up as Roman reappeared in his doorway, decked in a pajama set covered in crowns. The words were out of his mouth before he could think, an automatic response to deflate the other’s ego. 

“What, too shy to change in front of me, Princey?” He said, mocking.

Roman advanced, casting a slightly confused gaze at the shoe in Virgil’s hand, and didn’t even bother to express his displeasure, which instantly put the tiny Side on edge. Instead, he smirked. “I’m glad you’re not feeling bashful, Marilyn Morose. That makes it much easier on you when I do this!” 

He snapped his fingers, and Virgil felt the nauseating sensation of shapeshifting around him. He flinched, but this time the energy was directed not to him, but… his clothes?

His eyes flashed open, taking in the pajama set that was now covering him. It was brightly colored, white and silver and red stripes winding around it. Thankfully, it still felt like the fabric of his hoodie, even if the colors were eye-searing. He scowled up at Roman. 

“Was it your goal to make me look like a decade-old candy cane left in an ornament bin? Or is that just your sense of style?” 

Roman gasped, offended. “My sense of style? It’s not my fault you have no taste in aesthetics, Vomity Central! You could make anything look miserable.”

Virgil didn’t let up on the glare. “Change it back.” 

“Absolutely not. My room, my rules!” Roman announced, turning away and swooning dramatically onto his bed before Virgil could point out that he wasn’t in this damned room of his own volition. 

He slammed the front doors shut, knowing that it wouldn’t keep Roman out, not really, but feeling better for it anyways. It seemed the creative Side was going to sleep anyways, as the lights outside faded, his surroundings now only illuminated by fairy lights strung about in the giant room, and Virgil was suddenly sick of it all. 

He turned away from the windows and found the room closest to the back of the castle, furthest from Roman. It had a fully functioning closet, because of course it did, and he barricaded the room’s door with a dresser before climbing into the dark closet and curling into a ball in the corner, finally able to ride out the slow, burning anxiety attack that had been building in his chest all day. 

Patton would make a joke about the closet, if he were here. Maybe he would even be on Virgil’s side. It didn’t matter, though. Virgil was alone, and he couldn’t find the humor in the situation. 

He could only sit there and breathe.

-

The next morning found Logan at Roman’s door, punctual as ever. He rapped on the wood three times, uncaring of the early hour. It was important to get the switch done before Patton finished breakfast, after all.  

Anonymous said: Hey Logan! How’re you today? Do you have any interesting facts you wanna talk about?

Anonymous said: Good morning, Logan. How does Thomas seem to be doing so far? ~🌸

I have been carefully monitoring our host, and so far I’ve seen no notable changes in behavior. Of course, it has been under a full day, so it is much too soon to draw any conclusions based on such a small data sample.” Logan quieted for a moment as he passed the stairwell. 

Virgil could smell the familiar aroma of breakfast and hear Patton’s humming just a floor away. He took a deep breath of cinnamon pancake smell, and then had it forced out of him by a warning press of Logan’s fingers. He blinked for a moment, disoriented, and then realized the logical Side thought he was inhaling to yell out for Patton. He… probably should have done that. 

No helping it now though. He could barely inhale with such pressure on his sternum. 

@flameingdarkness said: Oh good, Logan! I know you probably wont believe me Virgil, but he’s really not that scary! I can understand why you’d feel that way though, as your only real experience of him so far is him agreeing to this…‘experiment’. Which is, uh. Bad. But try to give him a chance? It’ll probably be your best bet. (And to the fellow askers, please be aware of Virgil’s current view of Logan. I know we want to get the boi medical attention, but having Logan all up in his space is probably not a good idea rn

Virgil shuddered as they passed into Logan’s room. He’d never been in here before, and he’d always envisioned it as a laboratory-like space where Logan was lit from below by ominously bubbling chemicals. 

… To be fair to him, the other Dark Sides talked about Logan a lot. He should have known it would be exaggerated. The room was certainly less extravagant than Roman’s.

Instead, the room seemed fairly normal, if definitely nerdy. Logan set him down on the desk, and he immediately backed up a few steps. The logical side considered for a moment, and then pressed a hand to the table. With barely a whisper, glass rose up and around him, forming a thick box about the size of a crate with ventilation at the top. 

ever? i wrote a warrior cats self-insert fanfic when i was really young :P for this blog, i kicked it off with TSITS!