#lostandforgotten

I am the kind of the girl, who’s not good at socialising,

A girl who always feel like, she should not be living.

For many years, I hide all my feelings.

Faking those laughs, smiles and giggling,

Wishing that no one will know what I was carrying.

 And then I met this girl, change the mood I’ve always felt.

Ignoring the world, enjoying every seconds with her.

As time goes by, the feelings for her can’t be deny.

Yes I love her with all my heart, Even all of them telling me, in the end I’ll be hurt.

I didn’t listen to them, continuing the feelings for her.

Months later, she confessed. She said, there’s a tumour in her head.

My whole body felt so numb, telling myself “Do anything dumb”.

Another week past, blood coming out on her mouth.

The tumour gets bigger. I still don’t know what to do with her.

 One day she said that she’ll be living.

She said that she will be with her step mom for awhile,

She will be there until she’s fine.

I feel so lonely, cheering up myself, and always tell myself that she needs it.

 Every night I’m asking her if she’s alright.

I always tell her that I really love her, pleasing her to stay with me forever.

A year later, she become cold, I always please her to hold.

Days past she’s getting colder and colder, until it end up not talking to her.

She cut all of her connection with me, trying to get rid of me.

All my feelings turns upside down, What to do? I ask my mind.

I feel so lost every time that I’m not with her.

I know it’s weird, but that’s what I felt.

Many weeks past, still we’re not talking..

No contacts at all. Just waiting for her to come home.

 I think I am forgotten, by the person who let my life be lighten.

Is this what I deserve? To be forgotten by people I love?

Is this what you want? To feel broke again and again? To feel like no one wants to be with me till I die?

You finally get what you wanted, you must be overjoyed.

I am not me anymore. I don’t want this feelings to grow more.

Help me.. No one will save me..