#lost rambles

He is honestly the perfect embodiment of Jacob’s beliefs, and lives as a contradiction to the Man in Black’s. M.I.B believed it was human nature to sin, but Eko tells him that it’s not. That he has not sinned, he only did what was necessary to survive. Similarly to Jacob, he believes a man is more than his actions - more than his “sins.” He knows what is necessary, and is not afraid of it.

He was one of the few people on the island who could recognize that in themselves, and it upset the Man in Black.

And unlike Locke, he did not need a miracle to believe in the island. His faith was natural, and unshakable. He was not someone who could be manipulated using his faith, like the Man in Black did with John. He knew what he believed in, and more importantly, he knew what was true.

His faith was never circumstantial, and it never wavered unlike Jack or Locke. Which I personally think would make for a perfect protector for the island.

Where Jack doubts, Eko wouldn’t. Where Jacob refuses to step in, Eko would. And where the mother lowkey gate-keeps the island, Eko probably also wouldn’t.

Just... why?

Hopping on another (old) viral challenge/trend? Which I'm not sure has even been proven to be accurate?

You do you, if it's what you want.

I'm just disappointed to see his content become less original and more 'clickable' with each upload. Abandoning creative projects for the sake of just... messing around with his friends to tide people over until new actual content drops?

Projects that have been stalled and on hold and poorly communicated about for so long they may as well have been abandoned, and yet he's not being honest about the process or the fact that many suspect he's lacking passion.

Not to mention the Sides 'content' we have gotten so far is... well.

Again, if it's the path he's gonna take. If these are the vids he wants to make... more power to him, I guess. But at least be transparent with your subscribers, please.

Be real with us. People have gathered patience. But mine is really running thin.

Don't wanna be too much of a debby downer on main, but this is among the reasons why I stopped following Thomas and grew inactive in the Sanders Sides fandom.

If the series still makes you happy and you love the characters, please continue to enjoy them as much as you want.

I’m thinking about how much of an impact Jingliu’s torture had on Blade and how fucking devastated Jingliu must’ve been to go through with it. I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve still been reeling from the new effects of the abundance and his possible regret and grief for ending up as the very thing he hated and swore to fight against—

I’m thinking about the way Jingliu must have chased him down after hearing or- or seeing and experiencing them attempt that resurrection and feeling utterly betrayed by two of her closest friends— two people who were supposed to be Baiheng’s closest friends— (How could they do that, how could they do that, how could they do that?!) —and swinging her sword, the Shard Sword (the one he made— the one he gave to her), at him mindlessly and hurt, with the intent to make Yingxing feel the same way.

I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve first felt when he died — the first taste of nothingness to cleanse him of the utter agony of devastation and grief, and then the horrible feeling of everything when he was resurrected again. I think about the way Yingxing, so open and honest, feeling so deeply, must’ve ley out a sob when his chest began to heave again. I think about the way Jingliu must’ve watched with tears of frustration and agony shining in her own eyes. (You did this to yourself. I failed by not stopping you but you and Yinyue-jun were the ones who disgraced her memory first — you have no right to cry like that!)

I think about the way Jingliu must’ve made a conscious effort to destroy his hands— his pride and joy, the ones that made the Shard Sword she turned against its creator. I imagine her throwing it on the ground after the first— or one of the first few of his many deaths, telling him to “Rise” and “Stand” to face her, forcing him to fight over and over again living over a hundred deaths as punishment for what he did.

I think about the way ‘Yingxing’ must’ve slowly died in this process of hours or days of endless torture and punishment with his heart as an artist splayed out and destroyed, flesh bared and heart unbeating as the artist in his mind marvels at the beauty and fantastical agony that became his existence until he no longer thinks; mind rewritten with Jingliu’s preachings of “The three who must pay the price.” and her merciless sword techniques and lessons. I think of how Yingxing, the existence that he was, had truly been killed and warped in all the suffering Jingliu imparted on him — and I wonder how they could ever mend that bridge again.

I think about Jingliu stopping only after the hundredth death as now Blade stands on steady feet with muscle memory from the past nth deaths until Jingliu turns her back with her final lesson and parting words; satisfied, but not fulfilled, by the way she’s carved her presence and regrets into Blade’s mind and body irreversibly. I think about the way she spared ‘mercy’ to him by leaving him astray and to escape the Xianzhou and Luofu. I think about the effort it must’ve taken Blade to chose aimless wandering over eternal sentence… or maybe that too had been Jingliu’s choice.

I think about Jingliu, walking away with nothing but white noise and mara screams, echos of the past, filling her mind until her body gives out from restless days of fighting Blade, forcing onto him the punishment she so strongly believed he deserved — because she couldn’t rest until the lesson had finally set in, what kind of teacher would she have been if she had? I’m thinking about the way her body collapses to the ground like a puppet cut from its strings with no one to catch her and no one to see her at her weakest as she mourns for everything they once had but can never have again because of what they did. Because of what all of them have become.

And finally, I think about the reports that must eventually reach Jing Yuan at the divine seat of foresight. I think about the way he must feel; knowing one of his friends is irreversibly dead and the other three have torn each other apart in that grief. I think about how destroyed he must be, choosing between his duty and his lovers— but finding all too much fault in the choices they made and the suffering they have caused. I think about the decisions he would have to make and the punishment he’d have to invoke on Dan Feng becoming Dan Heng in spite of his emotions, because he is the last one left. And if no one else can remain on the Luofu then he must be the one to carry their memories.

To not be invisible.

To find someone who won't be bored or tell me to shut up when I ramble about my favorite things.

I'm a nerdy, kinky, soft femme.

People are still into that....?

Right?

I finally went through the effort of making a shitty little reference sheet for The Lost!

You can now see their very much not very creative current designs.

Some notes below the cut!