#losingitgettingfit

Woke up this morning and cranked out a problem set right before it was due, but now I'm struggling to get my head in the game for everything else. I know I just need to finish the tasks that are upping my anxiety. Objectively, I know I shouldn't be anxious, but that never really helps, does it? I just want to do the best possible job (since my work will be presented rather publicly), and that's giving me excessive anxiety that is actually preventing me from working.

Please excuse my blurry (broken) phone camera...

Back in October, I had to buy a bridesmaids dress for a friend's wedding in March. All the bridesmaids (and the bride) finally agreed on a dress online... and then I noticed (with horror) that the largest available size was a 14.

At the time, I was wearing size 20 jeans. I'd been trying to get in shape again, but everything seemed so hard. However, over several hours, my panic faded to resolve. I bought the dress.

I've made a point of making this journey about me and my health, not just about weight or sizes. I've been working to lose weight slowly, consistently, by eating veggie-ful keto and hiking every weekend. I'm not working out 6 days a week like I have in the past --instead I'm focusing on life balance to keep my anxiety at bay and devote most of my time to working hard on my phd. However, all the while, this dress has been quietly lurking in the back of my mind. And yesterday? Yesterday, IT FIT. Just barely, but IT FIT!!!!!! 

hiked 9 mi / 3000 ft elevation yesterday! Longest training hike yet :)

officially (back) in onederland! 

Back in August, this goal seemed so impossibly far away. Now, I'm nearly 37 pounds down, out of my depressed state of mind, and looking forward to all the possibilities of 2015!!

The past couple weeks, I stopped logging food everyday and just let myself relax a bit -- yes, that included some drinks and desserts and  non-keto eating. But it also included over 16 miles of hiking, fun times with friends and family, and, as of this morning, no real weight gain! I think I really needed the  break from work, stress, and yes, from thinking so much about everything that goes into my body. I achieved a good balance between taking care of myself and doing other things, one that I hope I can keep after the larger weight loss portion of my journey is finished.

So now, here I am, over 32 lbs down from my highest weight this year, up one amazing dog and 100+ miles of hiking, within 3 lbs of onederland, and generally feeling a hell of a lot better than I did 3 months ago. 2014, you really knocked me on my ass, but the past few months, I was able to rise to the challenge and fight my way back onto my feet. I'm still working on loving myself and putting my needs first, but right now, I am proud of myself. 

Got my first "hey, you're looking great!" from a colleague today!