Sep 29, 2013
It makes me so happy when Lorne "Turtleface" Michaels is in a sketch because he's just a pokey lil' idiot and he KNOWS how much this kills us!
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It makes me so happy when Lorne "Turtleface" Michaels is in a sketch because he's just a pokey lil' idiot and he KNOWS how much this kills us!
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"Fred, baby!" he almost sang. "You've got a date! You go, girl!"
"It's not a date!" she said. "We're just friends."
"Toots, if it's friends you eat ordered-in pizza, drink beer and watch all seven Nightmare on Elm Street movies on crappy old VCR tapes. If it's a date, you take them out to the swankiest restaurant you can afford and the newest coolest hippest movie there is. Now, I can either get you a table for two at a restaurant so exclusive there's a waiting list to even know that it exists and seats at a showing of a movie so new it hasn't actually been made yet. Or I can give you the number to my favourite pizza delivery place and courier over my old Elm Street tapes. Your choice, baby."
"Restaurant and movie," she whispered. "Please."