#lordlings

It's not that Touichirou sees Manami as the one to blame for their loss even though it was him who was sent towards the goal carrying the name of their team. Yet he's the one Yukinari lost to during the qualifications for the inter-high participation. Touichirou figures it would only be natural for Yukinari to wonder how he could have contributed to the race and for that he would have had to beat Manami and make it in.

Yukinari regards the parking lot for another moment before he turns his back on it and steps over to the outlook. Bending forward, he rests his lower arms on the banister.

"There's no point in that," he declares, as he stares into the distance. "I didn't lose to Manami by chance or due to bad luck. I was lacking the skill to beat him at the time, so what could I have possibly achieved at the inter-high like that?"

There was a time when Yukinari wasn't so clear-cut about things. Touichirou still remembers how Arakita's taunts got to him when they were still first years and new to Hakone Academy's biking club. He challenged Arakita again and again, but he was never able to beat the guy — not even until today. But it shaped him into to person he is now and Touichirou admires his realistic outlook on things.

There is no time for regrets, only time to improve and get better. Touichirou still has to work on that part. The loss of the inter-high weighs heavy on his shoulders and he can't quite shake off the What Ifs ghosting around in his head. What if he had been able to pull a little harder or longer on the last day? What if he had taken the first sprint? He tries not to dwell on it, but it's something he feels he has to own up to — as the new captain he has to do so more than anyone.

For now, Touichirou tries to leave these thoughts behind as he joins Yukinari by the railing. It's a beautiful view, dimmed only by his unease with heights. Someone once told him to look into the distance instead of down and so he tries to do that whenever in a situation like this. It helps him a little with his light acrophobia. He can enjoy it even, looking over the lake in the valley in silence alongside his best friend.

"I'm glad you didn't resign as captain," Yukinari remarks suddenly. His voice is quiet and almost soft compared to his usual tone. In general, he speaks loud and clear with confidence or even anger. Touichirou can't remember any occasion when he acted in such a gentle way. Their friendship was never one filled with affectionate exchanges.

Touichirou has to grin at this rare display from his friend. "Is this why you made me come all the way out here?"

"No, don't be stupid." Yukinari gives Touichirou a nudge to the shoulder and chuckles.

Sometimes Touichirou doesn't know what to make of Yukinari. They've known each other since childhood and it seemed natural for him to stick around Yukinari. For a long time he thought that Yukinari acting aloof was due to him not being very good with expressing emotions. Only once Yukinari started to change which also affected their interactions did it occur to him that maybe there was something else to it.

Touichirou doesn't concern himself much with such things though. However it was before, they've grown closer through Hakone Academy's biking club. They spend plenty of time together and get along well. Yukinari really isn't one to tell people that he cares about them, so whatever was going on in the past, it doesn't matter to Touichirou.

"It was your birthday earlier this month," Yukinari points out with a casual tone. "I haven't forgotten."

This is why it doesn't matter to Touichirou that Yukinari used to be more distant: because he's here now and thinking of things like that. Touichirou himself was too busy training to make time for celebrating. To him it was just another day of school and club activities, but Yukinari remembered it anyway.

"Well, life has been busy," Touichirou comments, his mind jumping back to the training routines he's planning for the upcoming weeks. "Couldn't fit in the time to celebrate in between training."

"I knew you would say that," Yukinari grins and sticks a finger into Touichirou's field of vision. "Why do you think I made you come all the way up here?"

Looking around, Touichirou remarks: "You're better not having the whole team hide in the bushes somewhere and come out for a surprise party."

It's not something he would seriously expect — he wouldn't even know how to react if it were the case — but the thought at least crosses his mind. However, looking around he finds nobody peeking out between the greens on the other end of the parking lot or jumping out behind the vending machine nearby. It's a relief; birthday surprises were never his for him.

Touichirou likes to be prepared for things and the problem with surprise parties is that the one they're for doesn't get to know in advance. All his plans could be thrown into chaos by something like that, because he's leaving a notable amount of important studies and homework for the weekend whenever possible to manage club activities during the week to the best of his abilities. He wants to give his responsibilities as a captain all he's got, because the entire team is riding on his shoulders.

"No, idiot." Yukinari flicks a finger against Touichirou's temple before wrapping an arm around his neck. "I just wanted you to take a break for once."

"So you made me ride up a mountain?" Touichirou teases. "I'm not a climber like you."

"Shut it!" Despite his abrasiveness, there's a hint of a smile tugging at Yukinari's lips.

Touichirou smirks in return. However he skips out on the opportunity to take the banter further. Even as a sprinter he has the training to handle climbs — without that he wouldn't have made the team for the inter-high —  and Yukinari went for an easy pace as the ascended the mountain slope, so he was able to keep up. Now that he's thinking about it, that could have been his first clue to telling that they weren't doing this for training. Either way, the ride was nothing to wear him out, so he finds no reason to complain.

"You want a drink?" Yukinari changes the subject and pushes himself off the banister to head for the vending machine. "I'm buying."

Yukinari fingers are already shoving the coins into the slot and pressing buttons as Touichirou turns around. There's a rumbling from the machine, followed by a dull sound as the first drink drops down into the compartment and he watches Yukinari pull it out. Yukinari repeats the process without awaiting his answer or even asking what kind of drink he wants. He leaves his friend to it and returns his attention to the view until Yukinari returns and hands him a can. He accepts it though he regards the label reading "Bepsi" with an amused look.

"I didn't know I had a new favourite drink," Touichiro notes and weighs the can in his hand. The smile on his lips is audible in his voice which takes away any edge from the complaint.

"Yeah, yeah, you're not big on soft drinks, they have way too much sugar, I'm aware." Yukinari waves it off, indicating that he hasn't forgotten this little fact about his friend. As he proceeds to crack open his own Bepsi he adds: "But you can make an exception for today."

It's a weird choice of drink either way, definitely considering they're up here for Touichirou's birthday. Touchichirou prefers water over pretty much anything else and even Yukinari has never shown any preference for this particular brand. If there's anyone they know who likes the sugary drink to near obsession it's Arakita and yet Touichirou hasn't seen Yukinari spend enough time with their senior for his specific taste to rub off. But Yukinari is beyond starting to drink something just because someone he admires likes it — or at least so Touichirou thought, however suddenly he isn't so sure anymore. Then again, it could be a coincidence which he's reading too much into, so he dismisses the thought for now.

Instead, Touichirou opens his own can and comments half-jokingly: "If that's my vice captain's recommendation, I will certainly listen to it."

Yukinari gives him a quizzical look. "What are you, some kind of pushover?"

"Huh, you request something and then complain when I go along with it?" Touichirou holds back a grin and feigns surprise. "You sure are a tough one, always so hard to please."

Though Yukinari isn't the type to be beyond a retort, he leaves it at an amused chuckle.

Touichirou sips his Bepsi, the dark brown liquid being sweeter than anything else he's used to drinking. It being fizzy at least distracts a little bit from the sugary taste. But he isn't too concerned with the choice in beverage. He could have the most bitter tasting brew right now and it wouldn't matter to him as long as he gets to spend time with his best friend. It's the first instance in a while they get to speak this carefree after all.

Since the inter-high, the mood at the club has been a bit gloomy. His assignment as the new captain made Touichirou feel the weight of his sin even more on his shoulder. He hasn't felt at ease because of it and it took some reflecting on how Yukinari chewed him out and Ashikiba built him up for him to begin to overcome it. He felt ashamed — first for his failure, then for his weakness which made him nearly give up — and he thought that he couldn't face Yukinari like that, that Yukinari would have to be disappointed in him. Yet for the past few days since he announced his decision to continue as captain, Yukinari showed no sign of thinking any less of him.

If their outing today makes anything clear then that Yukinari doesn't hold it against Touichirou that he's struggling, as long as he keeps picking himself up again. They never talked about it — and maybe they never will — but he likes to think that they don't have to. There is an understanding between them that goes without words and the only thing that was keeping him from remembering that before was his own insecurity and judgement of himself.

"You know, it took me some time to get here," Yukinari expresses without context, leaving Touichirou to wonder what he's talking about. He slowly twirls around the soda can in his hand while his gaze is fixated on an undefined point at the horizon. Touichirou watches him quietly, feeling like there's going to be more to this than one sentence and indeed he continues without having to be prompted.

"At first I thought road races were like anything else: just another sport I could easily pick up on and then would eventually be bored with," Yukinari recounts and it's something Touichirou never heard him say this openly. "When that wasn't the case, I got hung up on getting where I had thought I should be in no time." He takes a sip of Bepsi, tilting his head back to allow the liquid to make its way into his mouth. He's certainly drinking up faster than Touichirou.

"It was no fun." Yukinari lets his head sink and watches his hands sticking out over the banister. "I was chasing after Arakita-san and it left me angry and desperate. For the first time I got to know the effort that goes into training to improve and achieve success."

Something about Yukinari's words makes them seem like a quiet confession and Touichirou feels intrusive for even looking in Yukinari's direction. He turns around and leans his back against the railing, forcing down a swig of the sugary drink in his own hand. It's probably just in his head, but he feels like he's going to have to down a full bottle of water to get the stuff out of his system again.

"Normally, I wouldn't have been willing to put up with it — and who knows, if it had been any other club I may have walked away — but my pride wouldn't let me." Yukinari huffs in dry amusement. "That stupid pride — I lost it along the way." He takes a deep breath. "But now I'm finally at a point where my hard work is starting to pay off and I'm having fun riding. I owe it all to you."

So this is where Yukinari was going with this; Touichirou wouldn't have expected it. He doesn't feel like he deserves any praise, though. He can't remember having contributed to any of the progress Yukinari made over time — aside from maybe joining him for riding. "You owe it to all your dedication and training."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have even joined the club if it wasn't for you urging me to," Yukinari points out and turns towards him. Though he can see Yukinari's point, he still feels like his friend is putting too much emphasis on his contribution.

"Well, in that case wouldn't part of the credit go to Arakita-san as well?" Touichirou suggests, forgetting about his previous decision not to bring up the seniors influence on Yukinari. "You just said yourself that you were chasing after him, so if it hadn't been for him who knows if you hadn't quit."

"I guess…," Yukinari hesitantly admits with a shrug. There's something about the way he returns his attention to his Bepsi and starts fidgeting with it even more than before that catches Touichirou's attention. Something's up.

"Getting a little flustered there, are we?" Touichirou teases, willing to test his friend's boundaries on the topic.

Yukinari jerks his head around and exclaims: "Shut up!"

The reaction is more vehement than Touichirou expected and it makes him laugh. Yukinari rarely gives off the impression like a taunt makes him embarrassed, but this time he's avoiding eye contact. It's just a hunch and Touichirou could be wrong about it, but he's getting the impression that he's into something. What that something could be exactly, he isn't sure yet. It's going to take more probing to find out.

Touichirou's best — or maybe worst — guess is that Yukinari's flippant response could hint at romantic feelings. He has seen it in movies, though usually it was girls shown to be acting that way. How boys handle such a situation, he isn't sure. Though he can imagine himself getting flustered if anyone were to take interest in the exact nature of his feelings for Shinkai beyond the admiration he so openly displays. It's a delicate topic he wouldn't share with just anyone and given their track record Yukinari would certainly tease him about it.

Having calmed down due to all these deliberations on his mind, Touichirou leans in to stare Yukinari right in the face. He's unsure about how to phrase it, but has decided just to wing it when he asks with an amused tone: "What's that, do you like like Arakita?"

It definitely came out sounding silly, but Touichirou tries not to let that deter him. It's Yukinari's response that matters more than how he provokes it. He considers the odds of him being right about this to be low, but at least then he can cross off the possibility from his mental list. If he were to hit the mark however — wouldn't that make his approach intrusive?

Touichirou dismisses his worries. Yukinari is not one to be easily hurt or offended. He has thick skin and can take a little probing and being wound up in good humour. Besides, he's not too shy to tell anyone off who bothers him, so even if Touichirou crosses a line he won't let himself be roped into a discussion he isn't willing to have. Rather he'll scrunch his nose and raise his voice — kind of like he's doing now.

"Are we seriously doing this?" Yukinari shoves Touichirou's head away from him, not minding how his palm presses against the tip of Touichirou's nose. "Do you like like this person—" he parrots the phrase in a mocking voice "—who even says shit like that?"

Touichirou takes the criticism in good humour and dodges away from Yukinari's hand while laughing, almost spilling the Bepsi he's holding in the process of moving around. Though it's just like Yukinari to get annoyed by the words he used — and he has to admit that the phrasing was a bit clumsy — he's getting the impression that part of it is a front. So he could be onto something and Yukinari may just be trying to downplay it. As he leans back against railing, he seizes Yukinari up with a grin. "Well, do you?"

Yukinari occupies himself by drinking the last sip from his soda and then denting the metal between his fingers. As he marches over to the nearest litter bin to drop the crushed can in he notes: "I would like to see your reaction if someone asked you: 'Do you like like Shinkai?'"

And here it is. Touichirou anticipated the possibility that Yukinari could bring this up if he dived into the convoluted topic of having feelings for other people. But because of that the question doesn't catch him off guard and he's prepared to answer it — to an extent at least.

"Mhh…" Touichirou continues to smile and then offers: "...maybe?"

"Huh? Seriously?" Yukinari seems skeptical and Touichirou withholds a definite answer. He's on the verge of a full confession — a part of him has taken a liking to the idea of sharing the truth with his friend — but he isn't quite committed to it yet.

Remembering that he still has his own beverage to finish, Touichirou gulps it down in one go to get it over with. Too lazy to walk over to the bin himself, he aims and tries to throw the Bepsi into it from where he's standing. The can drops onto the floor beside its destination — which was to be expected. Yukinari gives a sigh and a stern look that could be meant to either judge his bad aim or tell him to clean up his trash — or both. He gives a shrug as if to say that it doesn't matter to him either way and heads over to put away the can properly.

"Oh Shinkai-san, I like like you!" Yukinari meanwhile sighs in exaggeration to wind Touichirou up. That's the thing with him after all: he will find a way to turn things around and suddenly Touichirou is the one being taunted instead of the one doing the teasing. But Touichirou isn't going to let that sit on him.

"Oh Arakita-san, you're the only one for me!" he joins in with a fake love confession of his own and clutches his chest as he walks towards Yukinari

"You won the race for my heart, Shinkai-san!"

Touichirou rolls his eyes and then takes note of the a family standing a couple of metres away and staring at them, the two children in delight and the parents in indignation. Growing self-conscious, he slaps the back of his hand against Yukinari's shoulder and hisses: "Shut up, people are looking."

"Awww." Yukinari takes the opportunity to wrap his arm around Touichirou's neck and adapts a mockingly sympathetic tone. "Are you feeling embarrassed?"

Immediately, Touichirou resists Yukinari's grip on him and they end up wrestling playfully for a bit before he shakes Yukinari off. All the while he cannot suppress a laugh. They didn't use to be so playful in their childhood, though he has to admit that may have been on him. The art of joking around with people and forgetting about the seriousness of life for a bit is something he had to learn over time. It only really came out in the last couple of years and maybe in part due to Yukinari. He still remembers that as a kid he wasn't able to do it.

They take a moment to reposition themselves against the banister and regain their composure. From their little wrestling episode Touichirou has already forgotten the onlookers in the near vicinity or even what prompted their banter in the first place. He's just having fun with a friend at this point and doesn't need to keep track of the reasons why their conversation developed like this. As such, it surprises him when Yukinari speaks up again.

"So, did you mean it? You like Shinkai?" Yukinari questions and his serious tone makes it clear that he has moved on from teasing.

With a sigh Touichirou prepares himself to get into a topic he's been coming to terms with on his own without ever discussing it with anyone. Already having been halfway to a confession earlier, he isn't going to deny it now. He skips the confirmation itself — since that would only be a formality at this point — and goes right to the conclusion: "I've come to accept that it it's never going to lead to anything."

"Why not?" Yukinari knits his eyebrows together in questioning. "Have you even tried initiating anything?"

Touichirou shrugs. "No, I'm good."

"What, you don't want to?"

"I'm thinking I'd rather not."

"Huuuh…"

Yukinari looks thoughtful, so Touichirou feels compelled to add: "It's...complicated."

"I feel you about that part at least," Yukinari mumbles with an air of resignation.

If he's being honest, Touichirou expected to read too much into things. When it comes to discussing romance he either ignores it or imitates the behaviour he witnessed from his peers. That's how he picked up on the teasing about potential crushes — to him however it's more like wild guess work or plugging something out of thin air. His understanding of the concept of romantic feelings is limited and feels less in depth than that of the people around him. It's like there's a part to it that he isn't really getting. That's what made tackling his feelings for Shinkai all the harder — and he still isn't quite sure if those feelings are even of romantic nature. So he figured any guess he made about it was going to be off. But now it seems like he really hit the spot and he's not sure what to say.

"Arakita then?" he asks for clarification.

"Yeah…," Yukinari admits after some hesitation. "And I hate that you were able to tell."

The disgruntled look on his face makes Touichirou feel a little bad for him. Touichirou can only imagine how he would feel if someone called him out on his feelings for Shinkai before he was ready to admit to them — now he's feeling lucky that at least he had the chance to mentally prepare himself. Still, he nods towards the litter bin and notes: "I was just making a wild guess, but the Bepsi seemed like an obvious hint."

With a groan, Yukinari throws back his head and drags his hands over his face. "Damn, that was fucking stupid! I wasn't even thinking."

Touichirou can sympathise with his friend. Feelings like this seem to manifest in the strangest ways. More than once he had to fight the urge to buy Shinkai's favourite snack just to have some spare ones if Shinkai happened to run out during practice or check on the bunny behind to school building in case Shinkai was hanging out there. He always caught himself just in time, though he figures he'd be mortified if he had actually done any of these things and someone would have called him out on it.

"Don't beat yourself up about it," he offers in an attempt to make Yukinari feel better. It's a cheap response considering that he isn't willing to go into his own near slip ups.

Yukinari rests his arms on the banister and grows unusually meek. "Easy for you to say…"

Unsure of how to respond, Touichirou goes quiet. What do people usually say in situations like this? He cannot claim to have been part of many conversations with a similar topic — if any at all. The only thing that comes to mind isn't something that he would ask out if his own accord, though that might just be in the nature of topic.  "So, are going to ask him out?"

"Yeah, right!" Yukinari huffs dryly before he simulates the conversation with fake voices: "'Hey Arakita-san, do you want to watch a movie some time?' — 'Why would I have to watch a movie with you, idiot?!'"

Yukinari's impression of Arakita is spot on and Touichirou has to hold back a laugh. It would seem inappropriate considering the concerns he suspects behind Yukinari's dismissive improvisation. In an attempt to be encouraging he suggests: "You won't know until you've tried."

"You're one to talk," Yukinari grumbles. His tone lacks the volume for it to be anything but a weak retort. It seems he's not going to press the issue despite his protest and Touichirou is surprised. He doesn't come off like his usual self.

Instead of bringing that up right away, Touichirou addresses his own reasons for not wanting to initiate anything with Shinkai. "I don't know, I like Shinkai-san — I think of him a lot and I like being around him and I was tempted to do silly things because of him — but I don't know if I want to date him. I don't know if I want to date anyone, I'm just fine with things the way they are."

The look Yukinari gives him is thoughtful though Touichirou cannot guess what his friend is pondering. After a moment Yukinari notes: "He's going away at the end of the school year — who knows to which university — are you okay with letting him slip through your fingers?"

Touichirou has become aware of that ever since the send off race for the third years has been drawing near yet the way Yukinari phrases it puts it into a slightly new perspective for him. Once Shinkai graduates they won't see each other unless he makes an effort to stay in touch. It would also depend on Shinkai not blocking it off, but the first step is on him. He gives a sad smile, because even so he knows he's not going to do it.

"I've never seen it like that, but it doesn't change anything," Touichirou muses. "Maybe I'm being a coward again, but I'm fine liking Shinkai-san from afar. I guess I'm considering my feelings for him to be my own thing that doesn't have to involve him — even if that means I may never see him again."

Judging by how Yukinari raises his eyebrows at Touichirou, he doesn't understand Touichirou's feelings on the matter. Yet he doesn't challenge them which once again seems uncharacteristic of him.

"What about you then?" Touichirou wants to know, circumventing the obvious question of why Yukinari is acting so off.

Yukinari turns away again and looks into the valley. The expression on his face seems almost grim from where Touichirou is standing.

"I made up my mind," Yukinari states unexpectedly and his voice sounds determined even though he's wringing his hands. "If I'm able to beat Arakita-san at the send off race then I'll at least try to get his number to stay in touch. If I can't do that then I have no place asking him for it."

Touichirou is taken off guard by the proposal, but Yukinari seems more like his usual driven self when making it. He gives a smile. "So you're going to pull for Ashikiba."

They talked about the race and how to approach it before. It was obvious to Touichirou that Yukinari would want to challenge Arakita though he wasn't sure how Yukinari would go about it. When they discussed Yukinari acting as Ashikiba's assist it was obvious they both had considered the thought, but Yukinari never gave him a definite answer — until now.

"You bet!" Yukinari declares with something akin of a stubborn defiance. "I'll deliver that airhead to the goal faster than Arakita-san can pull for Fukutomi-san."

A pleased smile spreads on Touichirou's face. "I'm counting on you, partner."

When Touichirou holds up his hand, Yukinari doesn't just give him a high five, but takes hold of it. Giving Touichirou a challenging look, Yukinari proposes: "You better show Shinkai-san who Hakone's fastest sprinter is now."

Touichirou grins. It's already decided that he's going to challenge Shinkai for the sprint and he won't give away victory this time. "Oh, I have no intention of losing."

"It's a promise then." Yukinari squeezes Touichirou's hand in emphasis and only lets go after Touichirou gives him a defined nod.

Touichirou gives a look at the sky. The grey clouds are drifting in the wind while still refraining from raining down. It suits him just right. He wants to stay a little longer here, away from all his responsibilities with just Yukinari to keep him company. This much respite he allows himself before returning to his duties as a student and the team captain.

"Have we ever made a promise like this?" Touichirou wonders out loud.

"You mean, have we ever made a promise about something dumb like me trying to get a guy's number?" Yukinari questions. "No."

Touichirou chuckles. "I meant in general, but sure that works, too, loverboy."

"Ohh, I can't believe you're throwing out such a weak insult at me," Yukinari complains and Touichirou would have to admit that he couldn't think of anything better — but he’s keeping that to himself.

"What? No retort?" Touichirou remarks. "Just admit that I've beaten you."

"Hah!" Yukinari gives him a dismissive look. "Not a chance!"