#loonaoid

Why do you always do this ?

Do what ?

Go out of your way for me.

I want to-

It’’s not your place anymore.

It was once.

It was. But you didn’t want that.

I was just immature, I never meant it I was going to-

What. Going to come back ? That’s the problem Kaiser. You think you can pull these games and pass around your responsibilities until you feel like doing something about them.

You never called me by my last name before.

Do not even start, we’re too grown for this.

I’m sorry.

I don’t forgive you.

I know.

— Being with him was very alike to a midnight storm. You’d learnt to deal with it all in your own way. After all you too were young and a tad clueless. But you managed, purely because of how badly you desired him. Some would say it was an unhealthy cycle. Others would call you utterly naive for your devotion. Because Michael was never the best at seeing eye to eye. He had grown alone and so everything he did was in his loneliness. That he would never admit he lived with. Perhaps that was his drive in his career and essentially what kept him going even when things weren’t the best. But you showed up like sunshine after a particularly rainy day. You were a fresh breath of air. The opposite of him really. And he was so sure he’d make that spark dim if he kept you any closer than arm’s length. So with every kiss behind stadiums after long, sweaty matches came days of no contact. With every shared memory of the past came an argument and a promise to never see each-other again. It was definitely something.

He who wanted you so earnestly that he was completely sure he didn’t deserve you.

And you who like a moth to a flame couldn’t pull back no matter how much you wanted. Lingering despite the flames getting harsher and flashier.

You were so sure he’d come around, so sure he’d let you in. That you could grow together. That those very things you argue about , you could one day laugh at how stupid you both were for making such a fuss. But getting what you desire always comes with a price. In your case it was time. You waited. Waited days. Weeks. Months. And yet nothing happened. Time only unfolded the growing distance between you two. And what was once a passionate and timid but growing flame between two souls turned into crashing waves and unspoken goodbyes. Your absence wasn’t obvious from the beginning. It started with small things. Like bringing his stuff back to his apartment, under the excuse of your mom visiting. You hadn’t wanted her to find out about you two like this. Then sleepless drive thru conversations turned into your phone being off on a Friday night, when he’d usually call to pick you up.

At first it felt like a breeze of air. Cool— you wanted space. He could give you that. It’s not like he had much time because of how much soccer was taking it up already. And this was to be expected. He didn’t think you’d last long. With him that is. He was cool about it. But it wasn’t as easy to stomach that when he couldn’t find your frenzy cheering and toothy grin in the crowds of people. All cheering for him yet it still felt like something was missing. Someone. At times he waited. He waited for your messages and calls. All reaching out to him. Waited because selfishly- he thought you’d still come back, as you did. But that was simply wishful thinking. And suddenly his apartment became colder. And there was no longer anything exciting about finishing practice on Fridays.

The days felt longer. Time passed by slower and as he finally decided to try one more time he was met with a dead voicemail. That made him sick. It was no surprise when he went to your apartment knocking on it in a frenzy before taking the spare keys out of his pocket and opening the door.

“— where are you ? — ? ”

“ and who might you be, young man ? ”

The blonde only turns around, a frown adorning his expression. Not hesitating to ask about you.

“ oh the young lady ? She moved out I think… about two weeks ago. ”

“ she.. moved out ? ”

“ yes, said she needed a change of setting. Bless her heart, she seemed very sad, if you see her do tell her I wish her the best. ”

The boy could only gulp as he nods weakly to the old man’s response. “ I will do. ”

The man could only chuckle in response, patting the boy on the back and praising him for being such a gentleman.

Kaiser didn’t think he would have been treated with half of this kindness if the man knew he was the reason you needed a change to begin with.

—